Day 11
Cant believe I have managed 1 and a half weeks on shakes.So Im sitting here now with my vanilla hot coffee:coffee:reading other people diaries and weight loss journey,so it got me thinking hmmm how did I get to the size I am now.
As a young child I was always ill,backward and forward to hospital for various operations,on my eyes,ears and nose.My mum tells me she was so worried about me as a toddler because I was always ill and never put weight on,just kept losing it.The health visitor even accused her of neglecting me.
So at every opportunity my mum would try me with different foods but I was a very fussy eater apparently and survived on potato and small amounts of meat.
I remember my teen years,me being very thin so much my socks needed elastic to keep them up.I was a late developer and around the age of 14 got my first bra.My dad jokingly gave me two onions to fill it.He meant no harm but I still remember that first training bra with the elasticated triangle and the two onions.
I was still a fussy eater right up untill my 20s.I met my husband when I was 19.I weighed 7 and a half stone wore a size 10 and thought I was fat.My big love was chocolate which really started around the age of 15 when I had my own money to spend.
Marrried at 22,but was already pregnant with twins my weight went up to a massive 15stone but I was eating for two,lots of chocolate crisps and cakes.
I had also passed my driving test so no more walking anywhere!!!.
So after the twins were born I started to change my eating habits and was eating more fruit and veg as I needed to eat healthy for my children.Then at 8 and a half stone with 18 month old twins I found myself pregnant again.The weight crept on and the cycle repeated itself.Another lovely boy and a fat overweight mum.This time the weight didnt come off easily and I joined various slimming groups only to lose and then gain twice as much.Yo yo dieting then became my problem.The years went on a move abroad for 3 years another baby boy and my weight ballooned.I was out of control.I was a busy working mum.I ate for comfort,I ate if I was happy,sad or stressed.I followed a healthy diet but ate lots of rubbish in between.
I would manage to lose a stone at WW or slimming world get fed up then put it all back on and more.Tomorrow was always going to be the day i would be good.I wasnt going to be fat and 40 I told myself but I was.I would be slim for my 25th wedding anniversary but I wasnt.
So here I am approaching 50 and DO NOT want to be fat and 50 so I had to do somethng.Ive tried the diet pills on prescription and from private sources.Three weeks ago I didnt like myself very ,much we had just come back from holiday and I was looking at my photos.I was ashamed at how I looked.I picked up the phone and rang my local hospital and asked about gastic balloon or banding.I spoke to a very nice lady who advised me on the procedure offered me an appointment and said she would send me out the information.
That evening I discussed with my OH what I had done.He is very sensible and put it into perspective.It was a lot of money to spend and there were heath risks.He told me to try a different diet and in 6 months if I still felt the same he would come with me.
Well my sister had been on LL and was doing well,but I couldnt justify 70 pound a week. So I asked at my local chemist about LT.So here I am day 11 and losing weight.
I have been thinking about the changes I need to make and my relationship with food.I am an emotional eater and will need to learn how to control my emotions without turning to food.
So I am lookng forward to a slimmer healthier happy me.
Sorry to waffle but just felt right to put it in writing.
Cathy