Hi i`m back again lol

[natayou]

ROCHELLE you have wasted 39 years [you say] DO NOT waste anymore time !!
Life is not a rehersal, you only get 1 shot so lets grab it!!!
day 3 is wicked but just imagine day 33 will be fantastic and day 103 will be F***ING FANTASTIC.
I can hear you that you want to do this and so we will do this , all of us!!!!
you are not alone believe that hun!!
if you need me i am here or add me to your msn
[email protected]

that goes to anyone else who needs an ear!!!

sod all the idiots that have caused you pain , forget them , you are making a new life for yourself , one where no one will have the ammunition to shoot you in the heart !!
you cannot possibly sit in your flat anymore, i will not allow it
stay strong dont even think about the fact that your are sole sourcing just do it
dont dwell on the things you have missed, think of the things you stand to gain, you and Aaron but most importantly YOU!!!!!
COME ON GIRL LETS MAKE THIS WORK!!!
lotsa love[and not ALL tough love lol ]
natalie xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Karen]

roch u wonderful gorgeous woman!!

I know how **** it is to feel depressed and alone. have been there more times than i care to remember im afraid. im always around for shared miserable cow moments [email protected]

i also know all about the people who cling on to drain u of any psitivity and who vanish when u need it back. u need to be more selfish hun. put urself first and once u expect it, you'll star getitng it. its tough to say it but people can only use u if u let them. "no one can make u feel inadequate without ur permission". its ruddy true and u r a great person who deserves much more than that. i really hope u can see that.

u have loads of people here who think the world of you and thats cos despite how u feel, ur lovliness just shines on thru every darn time! u may not see it but the rest of us do.

well done on getting back to SSing. its lovely to see u determined and fighting back. u have so much good in u and its good to see the spark that u have.

this is all jumbled cos i am shattered but couldnt let this post go by without opening my gob lol

lotsa love to you.

xxxxxx

 

[natayou]

ooooooooopppsssss sorry you didnt say you wasted 39 years sorry ...........
nat xxxxxxxxxx

 

[pandora]

morning hun, start of day 4 :wow:
i'm not as eloquent as the others, but would just like to say,
don't waste any more time being down
don't waste any more time on wishing
get on & do it
i'm here if you need to talk - email / MSN [email protected]
use the energy on possitive thought not negative thought
:hug99: & +ve :vibes:
xx

 

[Roch]

From now everything will be positive. You are going to lose weight. You are going to get a career. You are going to go out. Think positively and convince yourself. You are doing so so well Roch. One day at a time remember

Irene xx

Thanks Irene i just need to find the strength from somewhere but not sure where yet x

 

[Roch]

Roch , sorry to hear things arent good , but like irene is saying ... one step at a time . You deserve to be happy and confident , your children can help you to do that to , no need to do everything at once either .

It is the weekend , do you have family near you that you get along with ?

Do you have a garden ? open the windows for half an hour and let the sun flow in with a nice breeze to blow thru !!! its the simple things that can make us smile xxx

Hi xxluckyxx, thanks for the post hope u r doing ok x

 

[Roch]

Hey honey,
I'm so sorry to hear u're feeling pants hun, but please stop going over old ground - all u're doing babe is torturing urself on "what could have been if u hadn't done such a blah blah" - I know from experience that things only get worse if u try to run before u can walk. The past is the past honey, u must move on from these thoughts as they're only making things worse for u in the longer term. U're on day 3 of ssing already - now that is an achievement in itself. Start living in the moment honey, thats the only way u can beat this. U're doing great and u should be soo proud of urself for this.
With u every step of the way honey - here for u whenever u need me

Much love, chelle xxx

Hi Chelle,i am trying to forget about the past and move on but sometimes when things are just blatantly rubbed in your face its hard to forget them and unfortunately thats happeneing to me at the moment.
I know u r there with me and i really appreciate it, thanks and take care x

 

[chelle_powell]

Hey honey,

Just came to say hope all is going well - but seems like everyone has beaten me to it lol!!!!
Let us kno how u are honey?

Much love, chelle xx

 

[Roch]

Hi Roch

So glad the pain of the siatica has eased. These waves of feeling down are a pain I have them myself and am the same age as you I think our age has something to do with it. When you start to look at what you haven't achieved rather than what you have. Sometimes I tell myself that the down times have a purpose and that is for me to evaluate what I want to change and make me determined to do so. You aren't 39 yet so that means you have over a whole year to transform your life to enjoy your 40's I am beginning to realise that the 40's can be a pretty exciting decade for women in the 21st century.

I'm getting nagged now so must go. But still willing you through and keeping an eye. Lets look forward to being 40 together and make plans for what we want to achieve during our 40's.

Bye for now.

Dizzy x

Hi Dizzy, u r right and i know i have to just think about the future and how my life is going to change, an i am trying but am finding it a bit hard to believe things will change for me, really i think i am just being sorry for myself and i need to get out of this stupid sorry mood and get my arse into gear and start sorting out my life.
So if u have a size 11 boot around and u can give me a kick up the arse i would truly appreciate it
Thanks hun and heres to our 40th, take care x

 

[Roch]

Ok, hon, you wanted tough love so I'm going to dish some out right now. This is only the third day of the start of the rest of your life. You cannot possibly expect to find it any easier right now. You have a huge challenge ahead of you and wallowing in the past will do absolutely diddly squat to help you to do it!

WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT U JEN !!! (i so need your tough love approach that u give me but u do it with so much tenderness )

You need to stop looking back and feeling sorry for yourself - look at your achievements instead!! You have raised a son alone, you have kept a home, you have a life that is not perfect but it is a life nonetheless. You have survived so much. You have food on your table (well, SS packs ) , a roof over your head, a heart of gold and a whole new world of opportunities laying ahead of you just there for the taking. So. TAKE THEM!!!

U r so right i just find it so hard to see the positive things sometimes and just see the negative thins outlined and highlighted !!

Stop the self- pity and self-loathing.. it ISN'T doing you any good!!! You need to look for the positives.. at least you are receiving an income, at least you aren't in a wheelchair, or in hospital, or suffering from a terminal illness.. all you are is FAT! It is something YOU can deal with, YOU can sort out and YOU can do it!!! Your health problems will undoubtedly reduce in their severity and you will FEEL so much better!!


3 days is all it is so far.. 3 days.. this is going to take you at least a year... that's a tough thing to get your head 'round.. I know! (been there etc etc etc).. This is NOT an easy option.. the easy option is to just give up and pig out, get fatter and die! This is NO picnic.. YOU are the ONLY person who can do this for you and YOU are the one in charge. YOU decide what happens next. I am delighted that you sound as determined as ever at the end of your post.. stick to that sheer determination.. please...

I am trying very hard to stay positive, i must admit yesterday was very hard for me and i nearly fell right off the wagon but i held on tight !!

As for being used,... you know what... you aren't alone on that. When we are down and lonely and desperate for company and friendships.. we make mistakes.. we trust implicitly... it's part of our make up. It's what insecure fat people do... we allow people to ride roughshod over us until we have lost the very last ounce of self esteem and self worth we clung onto. It's also what nice people do. (thin or fat). It happens ALL the time. It sucks. It hurts. It's nasty and IT'S NOT FAIR!!!

BUT... that will change... I promise you. As the weight comes off you will find your self-esteem trickling back.. just a bit at a time... like a dripping tap into a sink with a plug in it.. eventually it will refill... that's what will happen for you, I'm sure. With your self-esteem will come better discernment.. you will be more able to identify those who are out to use you and those who are genuine. Friends who 'abandon ship' when the going gets tough aren't friends at all.. you are, quite frankly, better without them.

You are a beautiful intelligent young woman with a fabulous future ahead of you IF you want it, and IF you are prepared to do what it takes to get there. I know people say, oh, its not as black and white as that, but you know what, it damn well is!!

I do want it, i do want it, i want a new exciting life, it is balck and white i aggree, i know its out there for me but i just need to find the inner strength to stay on track and grab the chances that will come my way !!

Sticking to SSing is no fun.. it's hard physically (initially) , emotionally and in practical terms at times too.. BUT.. if you can get through the first 14 days you will have cracked it!!

So.. tough love you wanted, tough love I've given. Roch, you CAN do this. I know it! Sod everyone who has ever been mean to you or hurt you - you don't need pondscum like that in your life.. their lives have been enriched by knowing you. Yours has taken a bashing but you are resilient and are standing firm and re-taking some of that lost ground.

Thanks Jen i needed a talking 2 like this and from u i can honestly say that your tough love approach makes me sit up and think very carefully about my life and i really appreciate that feom the bottom of my heart !!

Do this and I guarantee you , life will change for the better. (I don't necessarily mean SSing - but losing the weight)

Tough love or not, I have faith in you xxxx

Thanks Jen, i just need to start having faith in me now and then maybe i will be on my way to a new life and some happiness xxx

 

[Roch]

ROCHELLE you have wasted 39 years [you say] DO NOT waste anymore time !!
Life is not a rehersal, you only get 1 shot so lets grab it!!!
day 3 is wicked but just imagine day 33 will be fantastic and day 103 will be F***ING FANTASTIC.
I can hear you that you want to do this and so we will do this , all of us!!!!
you are not alone believe that hun!!
if you need me i am here or add me to your msn
[email protected]

that goes to anyone else who needs an ear!!!

sod all the idiots that have caused you pain , forget them , you are making a new life for yourself , one where no one will have the ammunition to shoot you in the heart !!
you cannot possibly sit in your flat anymore, i will not allow it
stay strong dont even think about the fact that your are sole sourcing just do it
dont dwell on the things you have missed, think of the things you stand to gain, you and Aaron but most importantly YOU!!!!!
COME ON GIRL LETS MAKE THIS WORK!!!
lotsa love[and not ALL tough love lol ]
natalie xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Nat u r a real sweetie and u r so caring and i really appreciate all the support u have shown me.
I am trying very hard to forget about things that have happened in my past and move on but sometimes when its blatantly in ur face its hard but step by step, day by day i hope to be stronger to cope and carry on trying to change and improve my life.
Take care and have a nice day xx

 

[Roch]

roch u wonderful gorgeous woman!!

I know how **** it is to feel depressed and alone. have been there more times than i care to remember im afraid. im always around for shared miserable cow moments [email protected]

i also know all about the people who cling on to drain u of any psitivity and who vanish when u need it back. u need to be more selfish hun. put urself first and once u expect it, you'll star getitng it. its tough to say it but people can only use u if u let them. "no one can make u feel inadequate without ur permission". its ruddy true and u r a great person who deserves much more than that. i really hope u can see that.

u have loads of people here who think the world of you and thats cos despite how u feel, ur lovliness just shines on thru every darn time! u may not see it but the rest of us do.

well done on getting back to SSing. its lovely to see u determined and fighting back. u have so much good in u and its good to see the spark that u have.

this is all jumbled cos i am shattered but couldnt let this post go by without opening my gob lol

lotsa love to you.

xxxxxx

Thanks hun and i am so pleased that u stopped by and posted.
I know what younare saying is true that nobody can make me feel inadequate without my permission but the problem is that most of my life i gave them permission and i dont think i know how to not give them permission !!
So gorl how r u doing, hope u r having a good weekend, thanks and take care x

 

[GreenDayJen]

hi roch. well done on the ss-ing. any time you feel like you're gonna fall off the wagon (which you're not!!) log on and read all these posts and remember how many people think you are fabulous and have faith in you finally doing this. do it for your son as well as yourself. sounds like you have a great boy there and that's because you have brought him up so well x

 

[Roch]

morning hun, start of day 4 :wow:
i'm not as eloquent as the others, but would just like to say,
don't waste any more time being down
don't waste any more time on wishing
get on & do it
i'm here if you need to talk - email / MSN [email protected]
use the energy on possitive thought not negative thought
:hug99: & +ve :vibes:
xx

Hi Cheryl, how r u doing hun !!
You are as eloquent as every one else and so suportive and i really appreciate it big time, thanks for your email addy will add u to my msn.
Take care and i hope u r having a good weekend, take care xx

 

[Roch]

Recently i have had many incidents where rude ignorant people have made me feel embarassed and ashamed of myself becuase of my size and this has eventually made me even more depressed and inturn i allowed myself to fall off the wagon and turn to food to numb the pain.

One of my kind and caring friends here on MM said to me yesterday "Roch dont give them permission to make u feel inadequate" and that honestly made me sit up and think very carefully about that remark and i can honestly say i have never thought b4 that i am allowing the people who r rude and ignorant towards me or who have used me to do this to me.
When peeps stare at me or make comments then they r looking for my reaction and i can honestly say that i am going to try my very best to just pretend i did not hear their stupid remarks or did not see them staring at me and just carry on by and totally ignore them.
Also when it comes to the people that i thought used to be my friends i think i need to be more fussy in the future when i allow people into my life and not allow my poor self confidence and self worth to cloud my judgement or when they pay me compliments and shower me with attention is it becuase they want something and although it makes me feel nice when a man showns u attention and pays u compliments whats the point when they are nor heart felt but instead just because they now how to make u feel good in order to get something they want whether it is financial or emotional.
From now on i am going to try and be strong and not hide away from the world, i am who i am, yes i may be severley overweight and the biggest person where ever i go but i am still a human being and i deserve respect and the chance to live my life the same as any other person !!!!!

 

[mustdoit]

doesn't matter whats wrong with us peeps are awful sometimes ......i can't afford a haircut at the moment and my mate says .............make sure you get a haircut this week ........makes you feel great !! i try to be honest and nice all the time ...............hugs to you for ignoring these people ..............how is your sciatica today and when is your next weigh in ? xx

 

[Roch]

Hi Susan,my Sciatica is manageable at the moment i have my good days and my bad days.
I am not weighing in for a month and the reasons behind this are because in the past i have lost 17lbs on my first week then 4 on my second and stupidly i was disapointed and in my case disapointment usually leads to me numbing the pain with food so i am niot weighing for a month then hope to be amazed.
So hun how r u doing, have u had a nice weekend, take care and thanks xx

 

[xxluckyxx]

Hi Roch , hows ur day going today ?
Mine has been ok had wiegh in and was very surprised . Nieghbours are being bloody loud today thou ...flipping mini moto's !!
Anyhows hope you are ok and im thinking about you .
P.S yous signature and your days ie 4 twirling like that are soooo pretty !!! you have a definate eye for detail !!!! nice one xxx

 

[MadamDotty]

From now on i am going to try and be strong and not hide away from the world, i am who i am, yes i may be severley overweight and the biggest person where ever i go but i am still a human being and i deserve respect and the chance to live my life the same as any other person !!!!!

Hear, hear Roch, so lovely to see you writing that down and wonderful to see your strength and postivity coming out. Good on you, carry on with it, and you'll start seeing the results.

All the best Roch, have a good day
xx

 

[IreneH]

Hi Roch
Hope your day has been a good one

Irene xx