Thanks for the comments, and especially hopes comment that called me a
girl :girlpower: hehe made me laugh (I'm a
guy)
but ty for your kind words!!
PARTY NIGHTS....
arty0023:
I missed a week of updating, it's been an up and down journey so far but I'm getting there. Went out when I got paid with people from work - drank way too much, but had a very good night. Since then I've been trying to stick to healthy eating but not as devout as I was
, for example I'll have a healthy lunch and dinner but snack on junk, or just drink full fat coke as it's in the fridge, stupid things like that. So in the back of my mind I've been trying to be good, but I'm aware that I've been slipping a fare bit.
SERIOUS NIGHTS...
:character00115:
Done a lot of thinking about life in general also lately - both, Buddhism emptiness and Eckharte Tolle's (power of now) - kind of philosophies, are really making sense to me at the moment - but it does leave me feeling kind of strange. Eckharte suggests 'no mind' or 'no thinking' that we should just be present - i've been trying it, it's funny how often when you try it, you realise pretty random unhelpful thoughts coming into your mind about some kind of anxiety or past failure. Don't get me wrong, i'm not feeling 'low' - i'm fairly optimistic in general, just kind of feeling 'different' noticing this as I try to spend more time not thinking full stop - and being 'present'... ok enough, crazy rambling - just wanted to give you a quick update on where I'm at with my worldview
TODAY AT LUNCHTIME...
:wow:
One thing I did want to share which is kind of connected with the above is that today I bought two sushi lunch boxes from tesco for lunch (1.30 each good value if you ask me!) and 230ish calories each. So 460 calorie lunch sounds good. I had just one of them yesterday and felt a bit hungry after, so thought i'd get two today. I was walking down the road eating one of them (running late as usual!) trying to get back to work, when a homeless person asked me if I had any change, I instantly said - "no sorry" and walked on, it's a kind of conditioned response as I often think alot of homeless people aren't as bad off as they make out (why? i'm not completely sure, I think i heard a story once about someone begging and then getting into a mercedes, he made a living from it or something) - but also I feel if you give money it might not be spent on food but for some addiction... anyway as I was walking on, being *present* - I suddenly got away from my conditioned thinking and thought, how unfair it was that I was walking down the road eating a sushi lunch box with another one ready, when this guy was ragged on the streets begging for money. I turned around and said "if this is any good to you, you can have this?" and offered the second sushi box, he looked genuinely happy and said thanks and I gave it to him. So unplanned I had a slimmer lunch than I had anticpated! But it felt like so much the right thing to do even if I was a little hungry again on the way home.
On the way home today I remembered it, and it made me feel good, good that the homeless person might have genuinely needed some food and now he had some. It made me feel good as well, I felt more connected with humanity, yeah it does sound dramatic, but it amazed me how that small act of compassion had an effect on my sense of happiness on the way home, I'm going to continue to try to be more alive to the world around me, more *present* as I continue on this weight loss journey. It's funny how we can just live so far removed from reality sometimes. How peverse that it shouldn't be a knee jerk reaction to give what you can spare without going hungry yourself to someone in need. These thoughts are occuring to me since I've been practicing 'presence', which I've learnt mostly from Echkarte Tolle's writing and dvd's. OK so it's all sounding great but...
EVER FELT BORED WITH THINGS?
:beam:
One side effect of not thinking so much is that I'm feeling a bit restless... dissatisfied with things - a kind of enui in my life. I have so much I want to change, one small step at a time I guess.
These dissatisfied feelings tell me i'm not half as 'present' as I want to be, because when you're really present - you're completey satisfied with every present moment no matter what it is. But I'm going to keep working on it and hopefully I'll get more and more present with time. :cross:
I'm striving for a state of complete acceptance with every circumstance in my life, and with every person I meet. Contentedness with everything that's what complete presence is meant to bring you so it's a goal worth pursuing - even if it does make me start to feel a bit dissatisfied at the start....
WAIT? WHAT!?
:gen147:
If you've read this far you must be wondering what the hell i'm talking about! Sorry about that! Just wanted to share with you wonderful people the strange phase I'm going through at the moment
BACK TO THE DIET PLEASE!
The diet... yes sorry almost forgot haha... things are going ok
In the last two weeks I've lost another 2ibs. I'm actually really pleased with that because I've had spates of being really good and really bad, so I am very happy. I've now lost a stone exactly. Fitting that it should be a stone exactly on this weigh in, as it motivates me to continue after the sluggish last couple of weeks.
I want to do more than just lose weight over the coming months though I want to really achieve great things with my life to get to where I want to be.... one step at a time I guess!
*Since I found this site, and started my blog, I'm a stone lighter.:happy096:
I remember how happy I was with my first loss and it makes the fact I've now reached a stone all the more enjoyable. When I started this if I could have waved a wand and been a stone lighter I'd have been ecstatic, so I'm not going to lose sight of that just because I now know with perseverance and healthy eating the weight will come off, I need to ensure the fact I know it will come off, doesn't trivialise the feeling when it does, however small (i.e. 2ibs in 2 weeks) - like I said I can't complain! I've been half good half bad the last 2 weeks - so I really am happy.
Good luck everyone keep enjoying life, and may the weight come off with every good eating choice you make
Now I've hit one stone goal, my next goal is to hit
19stone 13ibs.
That's a big next milestone for me as I would have dropped below 20stone, and also lost 2 stone exactly. So here's to a decent loss to kick start that, this week