It's now or never

[spangles]

ugh, mothers in law.

Mine is lovely, really - but she wants to have the same relationship with me that i have with my mum, in terms of advice and influence, but i didn't grow up with her - we don't understand each other like my mum and I do, and anyway, that family has weird ways of communicating.

ALSO (warming to my theme)... and this happens to loads of my mates too, *why* is it me she has all these conversations with? Why doesn't she have them with her son? It's not my fault he's grown up unwilling to communicate - it's hers! Our relationship (mine and hers) has never been the same since we planned our wedding, and the least said about the interrogation I got when we were a year into struggling to conceive, the better.

 

[egbert]

ugh, mothers in law.

Mine is lovely, really - but she wants to have the same relationship with me that i have with my mum, in terms of advice and influence, but i didn't grow up with her - we don't understand each other like my mum and I do, and anyway, that family has weird ways of communicating.

ALSO (warming to my theme)... and this happens to loads of my mates too, *why* is it me she has all these conversations with? Why doesn't she have them with her son? It's not my fault he's grown up unwilling to communicate - it's hers! Our relationship (mine and hers) has never been the same since we planned our wedding, and the least said about the interrogation I got when we were a year into struggling to conceive, the better.

OH - tell me about it. I got asked to sign a pre-nup! By her, not by my OH. And when I refused she could not understand why I was insulted. 12 years we have been together. She thinks I am 'a flight risk' and 'might see someone in Tesco and just run off, after all these things happen' and while I might be quite stable as my parents are stable, and statistics show its people from broken homes who are more likely to run off . . . And how is that not insulting. Whereas she feels she brought her kids up perfectly and they are the best example.

hmm - lets see - she has 2 kids, both of whom have had children outside of marriage (ok we are marrying now, but we never intended to originally) whereas I have 1 brother who married before kids, and it was always OH, not me, who was anti marriage. Her DD is always in debt, her DD had the gambling addiction. Me and my brothers have always been financially aware. And yet, the way she brought up her kids is apparently the best and my family are a bit rough . . .

And we have exactly the same conversations about her son - she will speak to him, then turn round to me and say 'Ill tell you as you are more likely to listen' - Hello - he is your son, if he doesn't want to communicate with you, its between you. And if he said no, then I will back him!

Oh - and getting a contact from his ex, telling him and then telling him to lie to me and not tell me about it - is that *really* the best advice to give your son just as we are about to marry. 'Just lie to your wife about other women, thats a good secure relationship'. GRRRRRRR


Sorry Spangles, as you can see, mention the MIL and it lights my fuse!

 

[spangles]

oh, i just remembered - when we'd been together for a few years, but before we got married and before he decided whether or not he wanted kids, she advised me to trick him into a pregnancy! Honest! She said i should plan to get pregnant without telling her son, because then the whole thing would be sorted without him having to decide whether or not he wanted kids. That's some great parenting right there! and a REALLY good way to end up a single parent and for her to have a grandchild she didn't get to see very often, i'd have thought.

 

[egbert]

Yep - MILs can say what they want - and then blame you later.

 

[spangles]

of course, i told him about it straight away. he didn't seem surprised - i'd have gone spare if it were my mum.

 

[mama22]

That made me laugh spangles my mil told me "don't you dare get pregnant I can't cope with anymore yet" she looked after my lazy BIL's DD 24/7 as he couldn't give 2 ##### my response was that if and when we had kids they were because WE wanted them and her "help" would not be needed. My eldest has just turned 3 and she has never been left with that woman lol

 

[spangles]

ahh - my MIL has one daughter who is a transsexual, so kids are unlikely there, and one other son who is a lovely but hopeless hippy type - highly unlikely to grow up and settle down for the forseeable. And they live over 200 miles away so wouldn't be in for much baby sitting. She's therefore very keen on us having kids.

 

[egbert]

Ha - my mum went on about becoming a grandmother for a while, and occasionally mentioned us getting married first, but her priority was definitely being a granny.

Then when we got pregnant, she told us off for not being married - lol.

Anyway, she went on about it so much that now when I do leave the kids with her I tell her that she asked for them, she can have them - lol. My mum loves having the kids, especially on her own without me there to tell her she is doing it wrong. She loves about 130 miles away so any time she has them she spoils them rotten. She is having them for 2 weeks while we are on honeymoon- I dread to think what they will be like when we get back, I reckon they won't want us home.

 

[mama22]

My mum and dad love having then as they are the first and only grandchildren so far, my sister has also had them. The only time my mil has had them is on a very occasional night out and they are always in bed before she arrives.

 

[egbert]

Well - sticking to SS didn't quite work, but I did have a SS+ approved meal tonight . . . drunk loads of water today too.

But, since I am up against that magic wall, I reckon I can guarantee I have gone up again today.

 

[egbert]

Crash, bang clatter and smash!


Yay - I breached the wall, I climbed that bu£ger and now I am looking at the view. 10.6.6 this morning.
Ok, only a little bit, I'm only just on the top, but from here I can see 10 stone. I am nearer to 10 than 11. And I am staying On this side!

 

[damsel_inadress]

Congratulations!!!! What an incentive fodder the rest of the week x

 

[egbert]

Well - been for my 1 hour dog walk, and in thermals as it was so cold yesterday, so boiled today. Which can only be good for exercise

So - aiming at getting more off today or at least maintaining this - I do not want to go back over that wall!

 

[egbert]

At my SILs house today and I early really have the munchies - but I don't want to go routing through her cupboards, and I did bring a bar with me!
More water!

I guess this is a good way not to cheat, just go out for the day to a place with no food!

 

[egbert]

Weigh in day tomorrow. Let's hope there is some good news!

 

[damsel_inadress]

Good luck x

 

[egbert]

Well according to my scales I am 10.6.3 this am, so at CdC I should be down 3 pounds, the 2 I put on and the 1 extra, to my new lowest. Even though her scales will be higher - but then I do wear clothes at her house -lol

Went for holiday jabs last night, one in each arm. Blimey they hurt this morning, both arms aching. I think the nurse hit a nerve.

 

[egbert]

Well - weigh in day.

Good news, thats 3.5 pounds off

However, realistically its only 1.5 pounds off because I put weight on last time. Or, it means all the xmas weight is gone plus an extra pound.


Anyway, in celebration I came home and finished a slice of fruity toast DS had left

Right - water and work today - concentration required!

 

[egbert]

So - I have stolen this idea from MinnieMel but I think its a good idea.

So - positives from yesterday - Wednesday.

1. I have a job interview on Friday, which has made me think about whether I want to go back to full time work and putting the kids in nursery 5 days a week or not, or appreciate the work I can do now part time and be with them.
2. I walked the dogs and got a good workout.
3. DP and I had our holiday jabs, which means we are all set for our honeymoon.

 

[egbert]

Oh blimey - job interview tomorrow. Just realised, I have lost weight since I last wore business clothes. What am I going to wear . . .