January 2009 - Starters
- Thread starter louale
- Start date
slendablenda
Gold Member
So sorry TI
on the loss of your friend. You must feel so sad. I have a friend who is battling with breast cancer at the moment and I
can't bear the thought of losing her. Friends are very precious. This kind of situation does make us value family and friends while we can.
on the loss of your friend. You must feel so sad. I have a friend who is battling with breast cancer at the moment and I
can't bear the thought of losing her. Friends are very precious. This kind of situation does make us value family and friends while we can.
thin_inside
I Can Do This!
Thanks BL, Sean and SB.
It was the suddeness of it all - a healthy, fit 45 year old just collapsed and died. She was both a close friend and my swimming buddy. She motivated me to get myself down to the pool, provided the training sessions and pushed me on to be faster and fitter.
I am desperately sad about it all and there's a big hole in my life. But she was so full of life and energy and enthusiasm, and so supportive to so many folk that she would not want to be an excuse for anyone to mope about. So I won't. But I will keep my memories of her in life and use the lessons she taught me.
xx
It was the suddeness of it all - a healthy, fit 45 year old just collapsed and died. She was both a close friend and my swimming buddy. She motivated me to get myself down to the pool, provided the training sessions and pushed me on to be faster and fitter.
I am desperately sad about it all and there's a big hole in my life. But she was so full of life and energy and enthusiasm, and so supportive to so many folk that she would not want to be an excuse for anyone to mope about. So I won't. But I will keep my memories of her in life and use the lessons she taught me.
xx
slendablenda
Gold Member
Good for you
That's the only way to deal with it and she would be proud of you.
Great that you haven't resorted to food for comfort. Your friend would want you to continue with your LL journey.
That's the only way to deal with it and she would be proud of you.
Great that you haven't resorted to food for comfort. Your friend would want you to continue with your LL journey.
daisydoll
Gold Member
hi there
just back from meeting and am so happy i have STS!!!!
so in a fortnight of festivals,meals out, weekends away - being 'normal' i have stayed the same....perhaps too soon to think i'm normal yet, but am very happy!
it was week 12 - the last time i have to buy packs!
daisy x
just back from meeting and am so happy i have STS!!!!
so in a fortnight of festivals,meals out, weekends away - being 'normal' i have stayed the same....perhaps too soon to think i'm normal yet, but am very happy!
it was week 12 - the last time i have to buy packs!
daisy x
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
WELL DONE DAISY!!! Great job!!! And many congrats on going the distance thru the final 12 weeks, you little sparkler you! 
xx
xx
thin_inside
I Can Do This!
Thanks for all the support guys. I must admit, I have found it tough coming to terms with the death of my friend. Increasing its getting difficult to convince myself I am doing the right thing staying in abstinence. Life seems too short to miss out on full participation and enjoyment of events.
This week I gained 0.5 lb. I was 100% abstinent - honest. But even I question how that can be - maybe I am sleep eating? My confidence has been really knocked. Other side effects:
My periods seem to have stopped - two weeks late and I am definitely not pregnant.
I seem to be bloated and retaining water, but I have not been taking in as much as I should (partly as I have been diving for the last few days and don't want to have a full bladder when I have half an hour of decompression stops to complete before I can get out of my drysuit!).
My hair continues to fall out in daily handfulls.
On a more positive note - In the last two months I have lost 16lbs, a further 7 inches from waist, hips and chest and am now wearing size 12 clothes.
However, as my weight losses continue to slow and stall I wonder what the value of continuing is. Do I really want to get to goal - 28.5lbs away. What if I don't?
I have already accepted I will be in abstinence for my holiday in October, but I feel like things are drifting on forever and now it looks like I could still be in abstinence for Christmas unless I set some target dates. And if I'm going to be eating at that point - I want to be at least week 5 of RTM to feel like I am involved in a large part of the fayre. That means moving into RTM w/b 23 November latest. Twelve weeks from now.
While it may be possible to reach goal within this time - what if I don't get there? What if there are more weeks like this one? Will I feel like a failure? My head is buzzing.
This week I gained 0.5 lb. I was 100% abstinent - honest. But even I question how that can be - maybe I am sleep eating? My confidence has been really knocked. Other side effects:
My periods seem to have stopped - two weeks late and I am definitely not pregnant.
I seem to be bloated and retaining water, but I have not been taking in as much as I should (partly as I have been diving for the last few days and don't want to have a full bladder when I have half an hour of decompression stops to complete before I can get out of my drysuit!).
My hair continues to fall out in daily handfulls.
On a more positive note - In the last two months I have lost 16lbs, a further 7 inches from waist, hips and chest and am now wearing size 12 clothes.
However, as my weight losses continue to slow and stall I wonder what the value of continuing is. Do I really want to get to goal - 28.5lbs away. What if I don't?
I have already accepted I will be in abstinence for my holiday in October, but I feel like things are drifting on forever and now it looks like I could still be in abstinence for Christmas unless I set some target dates. And if I'm going to be eating at that point - I want to be at least week 5 of RTM to feel like I am involved in a large part of the fayre. That means moving into RTM w/b 23 November latest. Twelve weeks from now.
While it may be possible to reach goal within this time - what if I don't get there? What if there are more weeks like this one? Will I feel like a failure? My head is buzzing.
Sean(JSF)
Making it all add up
Chill T_I.
I have nothing but the utmost respect for you having stuck with it this long, and a gain of any sort must be truly frustrating, but you KNOW there's no-way it's fat.
It's natural you question your motivation as you get nearer to goal, and doubly so with everything that's happened in your life recently.
Take time for yourself, look back on when you started and reappraise why you set your original goal. Was it 'just a number' or was there a bigger reason for setting that target? If I could have said to you in January that you could get to your current weight & size 12 clothes, how would you have felt? And if different, why do you feel differently now?
Tough questions, but you need to make decisions that are right for you, now. We do change (never more so than on LL).
Whatever you decide will be the right choice, and let's face it LL will still be here if you need to come back later.
Good luck whatever you decide to de
I have nothing but the utmost respect for you having stuck with it this long, and a gain of any sort must be truly frustrating, but you KNOW there's no-way it's fat.
It's natural you question your motivation as you get nearer to goal, and doubly so with everything that's happened in your life recently.
Take time for yourself, look back on when you started and reappraise why you set your original goal. Was it 'just a number' or was there a bigger reason for setting that target? If I could have said to you in January that you could get to your current weight & size 12 clothes, how would you have felt? And if different, why do you feel differently now?
Tough questions, but you need to make decisions that are right for you, now. We do change (never more so than on LL).
Whatever you decide will be the right choice, and let's face it LL will still be here if you need to come back later.
Good luck whatever you decide to de
slendablenda
Gold Member
Hey, emotion can do strange things to us, even affect our periods.Also the phases of the moon can affect our mood and it's a full moon tonight. The weather has changed which can make us fee low.
The weight loss slows down as you get nearer the end and we've all had weeks when we STS or even put on a little, but it all evens out in the end.
You've done so well TI.
Don't lose your focus now. It DOES matter, YOU do matter. Your friend was supporting you with your weight loss - do it for her.
And if you were still on abstinence at Christmas - it's not forever.
BL and I did it for almost ayear and survived.
It's worth it to change your life forever.
Go girl xxx
The weight loss slows down as you get nearer the end and we've all had weeks when we STS or even put on a little, but it all evens out in the end.
You've done so well TI.
Don't lose your focus now. It DOES matter, YOU do matter. Your friend was supporting you with your weight loss - do it for her.
And if you were still on abstinence at Christmas - it's not forever.
BL and I did it for almost ayear and survived.
It's worth it to change your life forever.
Go girl xxx
susianna
Full Member
Sending hugs TI, clearly this is a tough emotional time for you and I think perhaps not a time to be making big decisions .... give it time and then see how you feel when emotionally you are more of an even keel.
Nothing is set in stone hun, when you set your goal you probably didn't know how you would feel and even look at 160 lbs maybe it is worth re-evaluating things to try and find out what is the most important thing to you .. how you look and feel or being a healthy BMI.
Please try and be gentle with yourself you need a bit of TLC at the moment. x
Nothing is set in stone hun, when you set your goal you probably didn't know how you would feel and even look at 160 lbs maybe it is worth re-evaluating things to try and find out what is the most important thing to you .. how you look and feel or being a healthy BMI.
Please try and be gentle with yourself you need a bit of TLC at the moment. x
daisydoll
Gold Member
hi t_i
you are bound to be all over the place emotion wise at the moment - try not to let the LL stuff get to you.
a BMI of 22 is quite low and you may find when you are nearing it you want to change your goal. i know when i got to 22.8 i was starting to look really scrawny round my collar bone area and i actually think im looking a bit better with a couple of pounds on. You are very nearly 'normal' 25 now so its really then just a matter of finding the right weight for you, you don't have to work to a magic number on the scales!
- you are doing so well, i think its great you are still sticking with it - just want to see a pic of you now so i can put a face to you properly!
daisy x
you are bound to be all over the place emotion wise at the moment - try not to let the LL stuff get to you.
a BMI of 22 is quite low and you may find when you are nearing it you want to change your goal. i know when i got to 22.8 i was starting to look really scrawny round my collar bone area and i actually think im looking a bit better with a couple of pounds on. You are very nearly 'normal' 25 now so its really then just a matter of finding the right weight for you, you don't have to work to a magic number on the scales!
- you are doing so well, i think its great you are still sticking with it - just want to see a pic of you now so i can put a face to you properly!
daisy x
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
<<<<hugs>>>>> Aw, TI. It must be such a sad time for you now. It only makes sense your emotions and thughts are all over the place. But these dark days will begin to fade in time, and you will still have your life to live. And you want to live it to the fullest - for you, your friend, your loved ones - for everyone.
Please try not to make any tough decisions right now while you are feeling so fragile.
You are doing SO well, and have exercised SUCH committment, remaiined 100% - so that there shows JUST how much this whole thing means to you - you really have proven you want to reach your goal by being so diligent - so I think somewhere under the sadness, that desire is probaly still there and just as strong - only clouded now by grief, and the resounding words "why" and/or "what for" which applies to so many things in life - but so much for what you are going through now.
You know, you can get to the end. And you know your friend would be so happy and proud of you. She would be cherring you along the way, and would feel so sad, if she felt her passing was responsible for keeping you from something that means so much to you.
It is OK to put yourself first. It is OK to do something that makes you feel happy and joyous - even now. It is OK.
You deserve only the best for yourself - and only you know what that is.
Just be sure you are clear headed, and making decisions for you, for the right reasons.
You will have our support no matter what - but just don't sell yourself short, when you are so very very close - unless it is what you WANT, more then anything else.
Lots of love and hugs coming your way, and very big shoulders and ears if you need them.
XXXXXXXXXXX
It must be such a sad time for you now. It only makes sense your emotions and thughts are all over the place. But these dark days will begin to fade in time, and you will still have your life to live. And you want to live it to the fullest - for you, your friend, your loved ones - for everyone.Please try not to make any tough decisions right now while you are feeling so fragile.
You are doing SO well, and have exercised SUCH committment, remaiined 100% - so that there shows JUST how much this whole thing means to you - you really have proven you want to reach your goal by being so diligent - so I think somewhere under the sadness, that desire is probaly still there and just as strong - only clouded now by grief, and the resounding words "why" and/or "what for" which applies to so many things in life - but so much for what you are going through now.
You know, you can get to the end. And you know your friend would be so happy and proud of you. She would be cherring you along the way, and would feel so sad, if she felt her passing was responsible for keeping you from something that means so much to you.
It is OK to put yourself first. It is OK to do something that makes you feel happy and joyous - even now. It is OK.
You deserve only the best for yourself - and only you know what that is.
Just be sure you are clear headed, and making decisions for you, for the right reasons.
You will have our support no matter what - but just don't sell yourself short, when you are so very very close - unless it is what you WANT, more then anything else.
Lots of love and hugs coming your way, and very big shoulders and ears if you need them.
XXXXXXXXXXX
thin_inside
I Can Do This!
Thanks everyone. I have read and reread all your wise words and have done some serious thinking.
I ate five packs again on Thursday - my second ever lapse away from the exact rules of LL. I acknowledged I was doing it for emotional reasons, but still went ahead. So I have decided to set myself a latest date to move onto RTM. With a defined time remaining I will focus on counting down the days, one at a time.
I am a goal oriented person and need to set myself targets and deadlines or I can feel like I am drifting without purpose. In turn, when I fail to achieve anything I feel like a failure. This is one aspect of my life I need to work on with the CBT.
As my weight loss seems to have slowed dramatically, I have adapted my thoughts to later and later completion of abstinence. However, it is now threatening to impinge on my Christmas and I am feeling very unhappy with this. I have family coming to stay at Christmas and I want to feel I am taking part in the whole proceedings.
Looking at the RTM weeks I see week 5 as being the target for the Christmas week. This allows me two meals a day plus snacks and cooked veges so I can have the most part of Christmas dinner. And I can have a glass of wine with it.
All in all this means I am aiming to start RTM by 23 November latest (meeting will be a Monday night). That's eleven weeks and two days away from now. As of yesterday it was 80 days so I have set myself a ticker to count down this time. Something to focus on.
In eleven weeks I should be able to lose the majority of the 28lbs I have to my goal weight. And if I don't quite make it, I will be happy with what I have achieved and with thought that I will be able to take a fuller part in Christmas festivities.
Does this make sense?
xx
I ate five packs again on Thursday - my second ever lapse away from the exact rules of LL. I acknowledged I was doing it for emotional reasons, but still went ahead. So I have decided to set myself a latest date to move onto RTM. With a defined time remaining I will focus on counting down the days, one at a time.
I am a goal oriented person and need to set myself targets and deadlines or I can feel like I am drifting without purpose. In turn, when I fail to achieve anything I feel like a failure. This is one aspect of my life I need to work on with the CBT.
As my weight loss seems to have slowed dramatically, I have adapted my thoughts to later and later completion of abstinence. However, it is now threatening to impinge on my Christmas and I am feeling very unhappy with this. I have family coming to stay at Christmas and I want to feel I am taking part in the whole proceedings.
Looking at the RTM weeks I see week 5 as being the target for the Christmas week. This allows me two meals a day plus snacks and cooked veges so I can have the most part of Christmas dinner. And I can have a glass of wine with it.
All in all this means I am aiming to start RTM by 23 November latest (meeting will be a Monday night). That's eleven weeks and two days away from now. As of yesterday it was 80 days so I have set myself a ticker to count down this time. Something to focus on.
In eleven weeks I should be able to lose the majority of the 28lbs I have to my goal weight. And if I don't quite make it, I will be happy with what I have achieved and with thought that I will be able to take a fuller part in Christmas festivities.
Does this make sense?
xx
Blonde Logic
Yes. You can.
GREAT plan TI. I am pleased for you - it is entirely realistic - and I can fully understand wanting to take part on Christmas after all these months of abstinance which you have done beautifully.
Good on ya girl. November time will be here before you know it and I reckon you will lose all of your 28 pounds by then.
Glad you are feeling focused. You should be proud.
xx
Good on ya girl. November time will be here before you know it and I reckon you will lose all of your 28 pounds by then.
Glad you are feeling focused. You should be proud.
xx
Sean(JSF)
Making it all add up
Great plan T_I, I know a lot of people who have focussed on a time to move to RTM rather than a weight - that's what I did and I found it was like having a weight lifted once I had set the date, good decision.
As BL says the time will fly past now & I'm confident that you'll reach goal by then as well
As BL says the time will fly past now & I'm confident that you'll reach goal by then as well
thin_inside
I Can Do This!
Thanks BL and Sean. I do feel refocused and seem to have found my motivation again. I can check off the days now and feel as though each one is an achievement that is moving me closer to a defined ending. I successfully fought off the urge for an extra pack yesterday and am pleased with that too.
I am really into food at the moment and love cooking and baking, so the family are benefitting. I am a bit nervous at the thought of how I will cope with the controlled reintroduction and have already started menu planning for the early weeks of RTM to try and ensure that, once the rigid boundaries of abstinence are lifted, I don't suddenly fill my face with all things I shouldn't. How sad am I? But I guess it's all helping me to stay abstinent and motivated for the time being.
Away in hotel all of this week so no weigh in. Maybe no bad thing.
Step by step, pack by pack, day by day, I am getting there. I can do this!
xx
I am really into food at the moment and love cooking and baking, so the family are benefitting. I am a bit nervous at the thought of how I will cope with the controlled reintroduction and have already started menu planning for the early weeks of RTM to try and ensure that, once the rigid boundaries of abstinence are lifted, I don't suddenly fill my face with all things I shouldn't. How sad am I? But I guess it's all helping me to stay abstinent and motivated for the time being.
Away in hotel all of this week so no weigh in. Maybe no bad thing.
Step by step, pack by pack, day by day, I am getting there. I can do this!
xx
PurpleButterfly
16lb to go!
TI I only just read this stuff. I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time. All I can say is my condolences are with you. I guess time is the greatest healer here, although that's not so much consolation right now.
WEll done for keeping focused. That 0.5 is probably because of the period stuff that's going on, so well done for keeping focused because it's bound to come off sooner or later.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
WEll done for keeping focused. That 0.5 is probably because of the period stuff that's going on, so well done for keeping focused because it's bound to come off sooner or later.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
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