Jess's Diary - Weighed in a day early..

[jennikay]

Woo, enjoy the sandwich I don't think I could physically eat a footlong lol.

 

[omnomnom]

Wow

well done you !!

Payrise & recognition is always good xx

Thank you I do love a bit of praise!

Well done there Jess, very well deserved.

Glad Adam's back

M

Me too, except he's already getting on my nerves. Ready to send him back to Germany! Can't win.

Good luck with "operation love handle" - you'll do it I'm sure, when is the wedding?

I like the term operation love handles.. though there's plently more than love handles I need to rid myself of 3rd October! Eek!

Woo, enjoy the sandwich I don't think I could physically eat a footlong lol.

Pfft, you're just not trying hard enough! It's funny how you can eat a lot of one thing but not another, isn't it? Adam can eat a whole tub of haagan daas in about 10 minutes but can't finish a whole curry with rice.. whereas I barely finish an icecream cone but can finish my curry and some of his too The amount I can eat is getting larger all the time, it's scary!

 

[Karenlou]

A little praise and recognition is a wonderful thing. Well done x

 

[Jax123]

Wow, well done you! Fab news and a pay rise as well

Love the sound of your sub and it's quite low in points for one so big - might have to try out subway soon.

Hope "operation love handles" is going well - it sounds so cool xxx

 

[fitz]

Evening

Just stopping by to say hello.

Hope you are well & have a nice evening xx

 

[lydia150970]

How lovely, an Autumn wedding, can't wait to see the photos.

 

[omnomnom]

How lovely, an Autumn wedding, can't wait to see the photos.

Ooooh, no it's not my wedding! It's Adam's boss's I just have a dress I want to wear.. it fits but is a bit tight. I wish it was my wedding! I'd get married in a flash if I had the money though.

 

[blackwidow]

hey Jess any more news on learning to ride a motorbike then? i've been looking into doing my CBT myself..

 

[omnomnom]

hey Jess any more news on learning to ride a motorbike then? i've been looking into doing my CBT myself..

Good luck with it I can't afford to anymore. Boo. I will probably get around to it some time.

I need to do a proper update, I will get round to that this evening

 

[blackwidow]

aww thats such a shame.. and yes, update please!

 

[omnomnom]

Ok, here it is!

I'm not doing weight watchers anymore. I'm not doing any diet. I don't think I'm cut out for diets. It's been over a year since I joined this site and I weigh more than I did when I started! I've been dieting on and off since I was 14 and it created a binge problem. I have sessions where I just stuff my face until I feel sick and sometimes I carry on even after I feel sick. I don't even want the food after a little while. I don't think I ever gained weight from my general day to day diet, just that the binging was so bad during my college years it took me up to this weight. When I moved to Surrey just over 2 years ago I was 12 stone. For about 6 months I didn't diet and stayed that weight, though I did probably eat a bit too much crap I wasn't binging. When I start to diet it flips a switch and I crave takeaways and junk food.. it's all psychological but it feels like I can't have it, so want it. Even with diets like WW where you CAN have what you want the counting and planning feels too constrictive for me. I think Weight Watchers is a great diet, it's the way you should eat and I'm going to apply the principles to my eating without the counting. I just have too many food issues for it to work for me long term, I think. I had a moment a week ago where I couldn't stop eating crisps, chocolate and shortbread that I had in the house. I felt stuffed and sick but couldn't stop. I went up to 12 stone 12 recently which is the heaviest I've even been. I got really upset and it made me re-evaluate what I'm doing.

I have a new plan and I've only being doing it for a few days but I feel so much better. I can have whatever I want, whenever I want but only if I really want it. I'm trying to start listening to my body again because I've been eating what I think I want for so long. It's hard to explain, but anything that is yummy and naughty I just think I want all the time. I'm also working on my portion sizes and how quickly I eat. I shovel food down! I'm going to slow down, chew more and enjoy my food again. I'm not going to put so much on my plate either.. if I want more after I can have more after 20 minutes. Tonight I'm having sausage and mash with braised cabbage and onion gravy. I'd usually have 3 or 4 sausages but 2 is enough! As well as all that I'm going to continue picking low fat options where ever I can. I had roast chicken and roast potatoes yesterday and I still made them with a tablespooon of oil olive and 1 cal spray. I've lost about 1.5lb of that nasty gain already even though it's been a testing weekend! I had 4 of my friends over to stay from the shire. We ate out 3 times and had cocktails. I feel I made much better choices though! So even though I'm eating what I want I'm still aware that I want to lose weight. I instantly feel like I'm not controlled by food anymore.

I went to the family planning clinic today to get a pill that would help my skin too but I couldn't have a combined pill as my BMI was 30 It's not when I weigh naked but I had all my clothes and shoes on. Still, I clearly need to shift some weight and I'm happy to do it 0.5lb a week this way. I'm not sure if this is a way of losing weight though, maybe just maintaining. Therefore I've decided I really to need to get some exercise in. I say it often, but I need to focus on it now. Recently Adam and I tried running but it's a bit too soon for that; we are so unfit! I'm going to download a couple of fitness DVDs (any recommendations?) but also just get out there with Adam in the evenings and walk. I don't find walking a chore; I love to walk and chat, especially in autumn. Swimming would be great but money is so tight at the moment. For this to work I need to pick things I can stick to. Hopefully the exercise combined with me working on my eating will be enough to lose weight.. even if it's 0.5lb a week I'll be healthy in a year.

I've bought my meals this week. When I bought them it was cold and grey so I wanted autumny food.. so you can thank me for this spell of nice weather I want the cold back! This week, as well as my sausage and mash I've got cottage pie, spag bol, stew and jacket potatoes to look forward to. My online shop was much cheaper (until I added a bottle of vodka ) as I left off all the low fat snacks. I've bought some fruit instead. Might get some dark chocolate in though as I've aquired the taste for it and a little bit is good for you. I used to love milka when I was younger but I tried some recently and I can't stand it anymore. Dark chocolate is where it's at now.

 

[fitz]

Hi

Wishing you lots of luck for your new journey - I find dieting really hard too - feels like I pot sooo much effort in for not alot of rewards - good luck to you - do whatever makes you happy xx

 

[mrsm2007]

hey, also just want to wish you all the best on your new journey. it is hard to stick to a specific diet and disheartening when you wi and dont see the result you deserve.

hope you'll still come on and update us?

suz x

 

[IslandBreeze]

What you say makes a lot of sense. Have you ever read any of the "non-diet" books? A lot of people on here seem to rate Beck and I quite liked Beyond Chocolate.

 

[omnomnom]

Hi

Wishing you lots of luck for your new journey - I find dieting really hard too - feels like I pot sooo much effort in for not alot of rewards - good luck to you - do whatever makes you happy xx

Thank you You'll see the reward. You work hard and you'll get there!

hey, also just want to wish you all the best on your new journey. it is hard to stick to a specific diet and disheartening when you wi and dont see the result you deserve.

hope you'll still come on and update us?

suz x

Of course I will I'll still use this diary. When I do stick to diets I lose weight easily enough but I can't stick to them. I really feel for you if you have the problem of sticking to it and not losing; I wouldn't have the willpower to continue.

Just had lunch and it was yummy. I made myself some bruschetta. I've had 2 tomatoes, a glass of orange juice and an apple today.. plus have a banana sitting next to me for later. Getting my S&V in!

Also, I bought a new dress for the wedding! The other one looked good but it was so tight. I wouldn't have felt comfortable in it all day. I bought a lovely green Warehouse dress from Debenhams.. £75 down to £20! It's hand wash in silk detergent only but I don't care, I won't be wearing it very often. Until it smells or gets stained I probably won't wash it at all I'm sad I don't get to wear my pretty coral shoes though. I'll post a picture of me in the dress when I wear it.

Need a haircut badly. Desperately in need of some layers! A side fringe would be nice too. The hairdressers never do it how I want though so I took a photo of my friend's fringe and I'm going to show them. I want to go blonde or golden brownish again as well.. honey/caramels.

 

[omnomnom]

What you say makes a lot of sense. Have you ever read any of the "non-diet" books? A lot of people on here seem to rate Beck and I quite liked Beyond Chocolate.

What are non diet books? I'll see if I can get a copy of beyond chocolate thanks.

 

[jennikay]

I wholly understand exactly what you mean, I'm the same. What you're doing is pretty similar to PMcK, and I've found myself maintaining when I stick to it. I was actually thinking I might do CD again because it will get me back to 9 stone easy/fast enough and then maintain it with PMcK. But you can't drink alcohol on CD so I don't really know lol.

I do the binging thing too. I've just been to France and brought back loads of Milka and Kinder chocolate I'm now trying to give some of it away!

If you want a (questionably legal) copy of the PMcK CDs (there's some useful stuff on beating cravings and exercise which I really need to listen to!) then I'll be happy to oblige

Good luck!

xx

 

[omnomnom]

I wholly understand exactly what you mean, I'm the same. What you're doing is pretty similar to PMcK, and I've found myself maintaining when I stick to it. I was actually thinking I might do CD again because it will get me back to 9 stone easy/fast enough and then maintain it with PMcK. But you can't drink alcohol on CD so I don't really know lol.

I do the binging thing too. I've just been to France and brought back loads of Milka and Kinder chocolate I'm now trying to give some of it away!

If you want a (questionably legal) copy of the PMcK CDs (there's some useful stuff on beating cravings and exercise which I really need to listen to!) then I'll be happy to oblige

Good luck!

xx

Ah I just bought a copy of the book and CD off Amazon then read this! Hehe. It was a 2nd hand copy, very cheap Thanks for the offer!

You can't do CD if you can't drink. That's practically illegal during your first year of uni.

 

[jennikay]

Ah I just bought a copy of the book and CD off Amazon then read this! Hehe. It was a 2nd hand copy, very cheap Thanks for the offer!

You can't do CD if you can't drink. That's practically illegal during your first year of uni.

Hahaha, yeah I know what you mean. It IS imperial though so there's probably plenty of people who don't drink/don't go out/don't socialise!

However, there will be plenty of people who do so I'm not too worried : I'm hoping for 1-2 nights a week, haha.

 

[omnomnom]

I'm sure you'll manage that!

Just bought Beyond Chocolate off Amazon as it had really good reviews. Adam says he wants to read them too because he "feels tubby". I think it will be good for him to get on board with this or else he's going to feel even tubbier when I start throwing my extras his way We're going to have a walk after dinner.