Jezebella's Journey Forward
- Thread starter Jezebella
- Start date
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
25 April 2010
It has been a month since I last wrote here, and it is high time I got off my arse and did something about it!!! I have all the usual reasons, work etc... Summer is fast approaching and things are absolutely getting busier at work. I have however had a glorious weekend off - the last for a while, quite possibly until the latter part of May - so yes they are excuses but I have just really enjoyed a whole lot of nothing the past 2 days. Another reason I have not been as active on the boards or posting as regularly - is that I became "bored" of permanent diet thoughts, diet head processes etc. I found it so frustrating that even though I have been maintaining for 6 months now I still constantly seemed to think about food, and all my decisions revolved around food and what to or not eat. It felt like it was taking over my life. So I have tried to carry on and put food thoughts slightly further back for a while. I have realised that they will never go away completely, it is always going to be a focus for me and I still get guilt feelings even when I eat normally and not in some sort of restrictive way. I have had days where I have just eaten certain things I "shouldnt" such as a piece of choccie etc, but still find I feel better about me when I am a bit more in control so I allow myself the chocolate but then wont have carb or similar. Some days however I have just eaten like a complete "normal" person. Scary but it did not bring on the huge weight gains I expected. I am still about 3 or 4lbs from my perfect weight but still fit into my size 8's so it cant be all bad. I have also realised I have some form of weird body dysmorphia, whereby I feel that I look a lot bigger and fatter now than when I was fat!! Not quite sure how this can be but I look at my legs and all I see is large lardy thighs!! Finally have the Wii Fit and got that set up so hopefully I can see some small changes both in fitness and in tone. Sadly had to miss this lot of level 2 classes of Burlesque as they are on Monday nights and I cannot get out of work. I seem to enjoy excercise more if it is not "excercise" in the traditional sense. Still the busy summer should also help get me fitter. I do still feel angry when work is so busy that I cant sit down and eat correctly and have had days when I have just picked, but I try to pick on protein more than anything to stop the rot in its tracks. I am not really sure how I am doing at all of this maintenance, just taking it day by day really. I am looking forward to an opportunity to go to class this week - although I have been to pop ins to weigh, work has once again got in the damn way!! Lol I seem somewhat resentful. I also know that loosing weight has not automatically changed everything in my life. I have not found that elusive boyfriend.. problems still exist etc, but I do have happy days where I see myself and think wow I can't believe that is me!! I saw a photo someone had snapped of me and was quite shocked at the pretty, nicely dressed slim person staring back, I looked quite relaxed and happy.
I am also trying not to weigh every single day, and on the days I do weigh not to weigh 3 or 4 times a day - if my weight is slightly up in the morning it has a huge affect on my mood.
On a brighter and happier note, Mokatika finally had her babies at the end of March and I have a gorgeous little fawn tortie point siamese girly picked out to join our family. She will come home at the end of July. It could be sooner but as I have to be away for 10 days doing the airshow I do not want to bring her home then have to leave her after 4 days so will leave her with the breeder until the end of the Airshow, then take some leave to spend quality time with her, Lily and Chai. Another shocking realisation came upon me recently. It is nearly a year ago that I started my weight loss journey. At this point last year I had already made the decision to start LL and had seen a doctor, got the forms signed, was low carbing and wondering how bloody hard it was going to be. For the first time though, in all my various dieting stages I knew that this was going to work, and I was never going to be fat again!!!!!!! I cannot quite believe how fast the time has gone. I cannot believe I actually did it!!! So to anyone who is new to this and starting LL, give it your best, you will never ever reget it and the lessons you learn will last you a lifetime.
I will hopefully be a better blogger and write agian soonre rather than later
Jez
xx
It has been a month since I last wrote here, and it is high time I got off my arse and did something about it!!! I have all the usual reasons, work etc... Summer is fast approaching and things are absolutely getting busier at work. I have however had a glorious weekend off - the last for a while, quite possibly until the latter part of May - so yes they are excuses but I have just really enjoyed a whole lot of nothing the past 2 days. Another reason I have not been as active on the boards or posting as regularly - is that I became "bored" of permanent diet thoughts, diet head processes etc. I found it so frustrating that even though I have been maintaining for 6 months now I still constantly seemed to think about food, and all my decisions revolved around food and what to or not eat. It felt like it was taking over my life. So I have tried to carry on and put food thoughts slightly further back for a while. I have realised that they will never go away completely, it is always going to be a focus for me and I still get guilt feelings even when I eat normally and not in some sort of restrictive way. I have had days where I have just eaten certain things I "shouldnt" such as a piece of choccie etc, but still find I feel better about me when I am a bit more in control so I allow myself the chocolate but then wont have carb or similar. Some days however I have just eaten like a complete "normal" person. Scary but it did not bring on the huge weight gains I expected. I am still about 3 or 4lbs from my perfect weight but still fit into my size 8's so it cant be all bad. I have also realised I have some form of weird body dysmorphia, whereby I feel that I look a lot bigger and fatter now than when I was fat!! Not quite sure how this can be but I look at my legs and all I see is large lardy thighs!! Finally have the Wii Fit and got that set up so hopefully I can see some small changes both in fitness and in tone. Sadly had to miss this lot of level 2 classes of Burlesque as they are on Monday nights and I cannot get out of work. I seem to enjoy excercise more if it is not "excercise" in the traditional sense. Still the busy summer should also help get me fitter. I do still feel angry when work is so busy that I cant sit down and eat correctly and have had days when I have just picked, but I try to pick on protein more than anything to stop the rot in its tracks. I am not really sure how I am doing at all of this maintenance, just taking it day by day really. I am looking forward to an opportunity to go to class this week - although I have been to pop ins to weigh, work has once again got in the damn way!! Lol I seem somewhat resentful. I also know that loosing weight has not automatically changed everything in my life. I have not found that elusive boyfriend.. problems still exist etc, but I do have happy days where I see myself and think wow I can't believe that is me!! I saw a photo someone had snapped of me and was quite shocked at the pretty, nicely dressed slim person staring back, I looked quite relaxed and happy.
I am also trying not to weigh every single day, and on the days I do weigh not to weigh 3 or 4 times a day - if my weight is slightly up in the morning it has a huge affect on my mood.
On a brighter and happier note, Mokatika finally had her babies at the end of March and I have a gorgeous little fawn tortie point siamese girly picked out to join our family. She will come home at the end of July. It could be sooner but as I have to be away for 10 days doing the airshow I do not want to bring her home then have to leave her after 4 days so will leave her with the breeder until the end of the Airshow, then take some leave to spend quality time with her, Lily and Chai. Another shocking realisation came upon me recently. It is nearly a year ago that I started my weight loss journey. At this point last year I had already made the decision to start LL and had seen a doctor, got the forms signed, was low carbing and wondering how bloody hard it was going to be. For the first time though, in all my various dieting stages I knew that this was going to work, and I was never going to be fat again!!!!!!! I cannot quite believe how fast the time has gone. I cannot believe I actually did it!!! So to anyone who is new to this and starting LL, give it your best, you will never ever reget it and the lessons you learn will last you a lifetime.
I will hopefully be a better blogger and write agian soonre rather than later
Jez
xx
slendablenda
Gold Member
Hi Jez
Good to see your post and get an update. I know what you mean about needing to get away from the food focus. It's a difficult one because it's terrifying to think that if you take your eye off the ball - all the weight will rush back on!
I can so relate to what you say about having "fat days". Sometimes I look down atmy legs and see tree trunks. They seem to be just the same size as when I was at my biggest, yet I'll be wearing a size 10 dress - how can that be? Isn't the mind a peculiar organ?
Lovely news about your new kitten. I hope you will post some pics.
Your work seems to be so pressurised. I hope it's worth it for you. A girl needs a private life too. Not surprising you haven't met Mr. Right - you are always working!
I still go to the LL class almost every week and that's the only time I get weighed. It keeps me on track.
Try and post sometimes. We miss you when you're away too long.
Good to see your post and get an update. I know what you mean about needing to get away from the food focus. It's a difficult one because it's terrifying to think that if you take your eye off the ball - all the weight will rush back on!
I can so relate to what you say about having "fat days". Sometimes I look down atmy legs and see tree trunks. They seem to be just the same size as when I was at my biggest, yet I'll be wearing a size 10 dress - how can that be? Isn't the mind a peculiar organ?
Lovely news about your new kitten. I hope you will post some pics.
Your work seems to be so pressurised. I hope it's worth it for you. A girl needs a private life too. Not surprising you haven't met Mr. Right - you are always working!
I still go to the LL class almost every week and that's the only time I get weighed. It keeps me on track.
Try and post sometimes. We miss you when you're away too long.
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Awwwwwww SB I miss you too, and am praying so hard for darling BL. I wanted to give myself a bit of space to see how I could cope. I can manage but the writing makes it easier. I wish wish wish I had more time for a private life, but unless I get a miracle it wont happen while I am in this job, and i need to remain in this job because of my work permit, so I am screwed any which way I look. Lol unless I meet some lovely man that wants to marry me hahahaa and yes as discussed its not happening whilst I am working!! The cat family are fine and Chai is getting huge!! He is nearly the same size as Lily now so goodness knows how big he will be when he is full grown. I am so excited about little Nimue. Sad I cannot get her at the right time but feel it is fairer on her to leave her with her brothers and sisters until I can be home for a few days with her. The mind is a funny thing, I look at my legs and tummy and omg I hate them, still would love surgery so have been looking into it, but it will just give me another debt I don't need. I saw a glimpse of a programme think it was on GMTV This Morning last week, about something called FATOREXIA, which sounds a lot like what a lot of us went through, how when we are big we see ourselves as smaller than we are. When we are smaller we fail to see it. I saw a clip of a video on a colleagues phone from last year pre diet and could not believe how big I actually was, I know I look so different now but some days I just cant "see" it. I still have not learnt to love my new body, but I suppose it will come in time. There is a happy note though, I was visiting Oxford to see Nimue 3 weeks ago -she was only 1 week old and cuteness in itself!! and The subject of weight came up, one of the other ladies was over weight and saying she needed to diet etc, so I said well I lost my weight with LL. They were all shocked as according to them, I never ever looked like I could be fat or had been fat, they said I looked like "one of those people who can eat what they want" It really gave me a massive thrill!!
Have a fab week, will pop some pix of Lily, Chai and new baby Nimue up shortly, just need to give Mom a call.
Much Love
Jez
xx
Have a fab week, will pop some pix of Lily, Chai and new baby Nimue up shortly, just need to give Mom a call.
Much Love
Jez
xx
daisydoll
Gold Member
Hi Jez
Nice to hear from you again.
the fatorexia is interesting.
i am 'lucky' in the fact that most photos of me are quite nice - however, when I was 13 stone this meant i never really saw myself as fat, as my photos were good.
i also didn't mind looking at myself in the mirror and thought I looked quite nice
i knew i was overweight/obese when i looked on the scales but I thought i was ok really and saw what i wanted to see in the mirror
in fact the only really awful photo i have of myself is the LL one taken at the first meeting - ironic really! I was horrified when I saw it after 14 weeks as i realised that is how everyone else saw me.
however, now i can see on the scales I am 10 stone rather than 13 and my clothes say size 10 instead of 18/20 I look in the mirror and see a huge blob (i did this at size 6/8 8 .5 stone too)
what is that all about????
as SB says the mind is a very strange thing!
can't wait to see pics of the new family member whan they arrive!
daisy x
Nice to hear from you again.
the fatorexia is interesting.
i am 'lucky' in the fact that most photos of me are quite nice - however, when I was 13 stone this meant i never really saw myself as fat, as my photos were good.
i also didn't mind looking at myself in the mirror and thought I looked quite nice
i knew i was overweight/obese when i looked on the scales but I thought i was ok really and saw what i wanted to see in the mirror
in fact the only really awful photo i have of myself is the LL one taken at the first meeting - ironic really! I was horrified when I saw it after 14 weeks as i realised that is how everyone else saw me.
however, now i can see on the scales I am 10 stone rather than 13 and my clothes say size 10 instead of 18/20 I look in the mirror and see a huge blob (i did this at size 6/8 8 .5 stone too)
what is that all about????
as SB says the mind is a very strange thing!
can't wait to see pics of the new family member whan they arrive!
daisy x
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Hey DD
So good to hear from you I had a look at that diet you posted about, interesting theory, I might try one protein day a week, as I like protein and find it much easier to digest than carb.
I also never saw myself as fat as I really was, in the mirror, and though I disliked photos of myself, I still didnt see myself as big in them as I really was.. now I look at them and I want to die because I was so big. The mind is a twisted place. How is your journey going?
Jez
xx
So good to hear from you
I had a look at that diet you posted about, interesting theory, I might try one protein day a week, as I like protein and find it much easier to digest than carb. I also never saw myself as fat as I really was, in the mirror, and though I disliked photos of myself, I still didnt see myself as big in them as I really was.. now I look at them and I want to die because I was so big. The mind is a twisted place. How is your journey going?
Jez
xx
daisydoll
Gold Member
hmmm, my journey can bset be described as going backwards, lol!
I'm not stressing tho as I'm doing the Yorkshire 3 Peaks at the weekend so need to be fully stocked up on glycogen to get me through it! - I will try and get a bit of a plan together after the weekend as I want to lose about 7-10lbs
I am feeling fit tho - doing aerobics, pilates, step as well as walking each week so even tho my clothes are a bit tight I actually feel the best I have done for ages.
I started taking spirulina supplements about 10 days ago and I reckon they might have something to do with it too
will have a quick look at the photos now
daisy x
I'm not stressing tho as I'm doing the Yorkshire 3 Peaks at the weekend so need to be fully stocked up on glycogen to get me through it! - I will try and get a bit of a plan together after the weekend as I want to lose about 7-10lbs
I am feeling fit tho - doing aerobics, pilates, step as well as walking each week so even tho my clothes are a bit tight I actually feel the best I have done for ages.
I started taking spirulina supplements about 10 days ago and I reckon they might have something to do with it too
will have a quick look at the photos now
daisy x
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
DD
I shall now have to tell you about Spriulina jokes are you taking the powder one and mixing with water or oj??? A lady I know was taking it a while back, I tasted some it was okish!! However chefs are vile creatures and christened it "spermalina" and thus it has remained ever since - lol!!! Sorry hope I havent put you off.
I wish I was as motivated and dedicated as you on the excercise front... I am making a bit of an effort now and again, but it really isnt enough. And I am just stuck at work for so much of my life. I seem to be really protective of any little bit of down time I get.. so tend to do not a lot because I am recovering from the last set of hours and trying to get in enough rest to cope with the next set of hours.
Finally managed to get to class tonight which was wonderful. Was absolutely dreading it as for some reason since saturday I am 3lbs up!! Can only put it down to bread over the weekend. However am going to do a week or 2 of rebalancing just to rid myself of them as I reallllllllllllllllly don't want to get into a vicious cycle. It is far too easy to get complacent.. and then the little bits of junk just sneak in.
So feeling positive that at least I am tackling things head on... Will be thinking of you doing the 3 peaks.
Jez
xx
I shall now have to tell you about Spriulina jokes
are you taking the powder one and mixing with water or oj??? A lady I know was taking it a while back, I tasted some it was okish!! However chefs are vile creatures and christened it "spermalina" and thus it has remained ever since - lol!!! Sorry hope I havent put you off.I wish I was as motivated and dedicated as you on the excercise front... I am making a bit of an effort now and again, but it really isnt enough. And I am just stuck at work for so much of my life. I seem to be really protective of any little bit of down time I get.. so tend to do not a lot because I am recovering from the last set of hours and trying to get in enough rest to cope with the next set of hours.
Finally managed to get to class tonight which was wonderful. Was absolutely dreading it as for some reason since saturday I am 3lbs up!! Can only put it down to bread over the weekend. However am going to do a week or 2 of rebalancing just to rid myself of them as I reallllllllllllllllly don't want to get into a vicious cycle. It is far too easy to get complacent.. and then the little bits of junk just sneak in.
So feeling positive that at least I am tackling things head on... Will be thinking of you doing the 3 peaks.
Jez
xx
slendablenda
Gold Member
Hey Jez,I love your new hair cut. You look great.
The pussy cat pictures- all utterly gorgeous. I had to show my OH. He can't believe how long Chai is and what a ctie your new little girl. Bet you can't wait to have her. It's good that Miss Lilly is so accepting.
It's good to have you back here hun. x
The pussy cat pictures- all utterly gorgeous. I had to show my OH. He can't believe how long Chai is and what a ctie your new little girl. Bet you can't wait to have her. It's good that Miss Lilly is so accepting.
It's good to have you back here hun. x
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
So good to be back, this keeping think malarky, you just cant do it on your own So you are stuck with me for the duration. Any news on BL and her Mom? I am going to have a week doing LLL as I have gained 3 lbs and ideally want to loose 6lbs in total. So tomorrow new start for a week or 2 which will be hard as I have a bday party coming up but hell if I could crack Paris and my BD in abstinence this should be a breeze
Wish me luck!!
Jez
xx
So you are stuck with me for the duration. Any news on BL and her Mom? I am going to have a week doing LLL as I have gained 3 lbs and ideally want to loose 6lbs in total. So tomorrow new start for a week or 2 which will be hard as I have a bday party coming up but hell if I could crack Paris and my BD in abstinence this should be a breeze Wish me luck!!
Jez
xx
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
28 April 2010
So Day 1 of LLL.... suprisingly easy and felt so good to be back on packs it takes a whole load of worry and time out of the day. My water intake is back up and I think mentally I just feel better addressing these few lbs. It is amazing how all the abstinence tricks come rushing back. I was contemplating doing full abstinence today as it was just soooo easy and quick to do this again.
Obviously people at work kept offering food etc, and I said no I was doing a week back on packs - with which a hundred comments, no you don't need it, there is nothing of you yadda yadda... but I am putting me first and I can feel my clothes are a little snugger, so so sorry Feeders.. not going there. It actually feels mentally very naughty to have the meal in the evening as it feels like cheating. I suppose being on the packs put me in a specific mind set.
I can feel I am starting to into carb withdrawal as by late this afternoon I was light headed, but I had that amazing hollow feeling. A very long day tomorrow so not sure if I will plan my meal for Lunch or Dinner. See how it goes I guess. Not sure how long it takes to get into Ketosis on LLL but I hope it's soon as I hate the tired feeling the first few days bring on. Could actually go to bed right now in fact.
Well thats the ramble of the day, will keep you all updated on progress.
Jez
xx
So Day 1 of LLL.... suprisingly easy and felt so good to be back on packs it takes a whole load of worry and time out of the day. My water intake is back up and I think mentally I just feel better addressing these few lbs. It is amazing how all the abstinence tricks come rushing back. I was contemplating doing full abstinence today as it was just soooo easy and quick to do this again.
Obviously people at work kept offering food etc, and I said no I was doing a week back on packs - with which a hundred comments, no you don't need it, there is nothing of you yadda yadda... but I am putting me first and I can feel my clothes are a little snugger, so so sorry Feeders.. not going there. It actually feels mentally very naughty to have the meal in the evening as it feels like cheating. I suppose being on the packs put me in a specific mind set.
I can feel I am starting to into carb withdrawal as by late this afternoon I was light headed, but I had that amazing hollow feeling. A very long day tomorrow so not sure if I will plan my meal for Lunch or Dinner. See how it goes I guess. Not sure how long it takes to get into Ketosis on LLL but I hope it's soon as I hate the tired feeling the first few days bring on. Could actually go to bed right now in fact.
Well thats the ramble of the day, will keep you all updated on progress.
Jez
xx
daisydoll
Gold Member
eeeewwww - you have put me right of my lovely spirulina now!
I'm taking the tablets, couldn't face hassle of mixing powder.
I'm thinking of doing LLL starting next Tuesday - just for a few weeks but I do want to keep the excercise up so not sure if I will do it or not.
good luck with yours - hope you get into ketosis quickly
Daisy x
I'm taking the tablets, couldn't face hassle of mixing powder.
I'm thinking of doing LLL starting next Tuesday - just for a few weeks but I do want to keep the excercise up so not sure if I will do it or not.
good luck with yours - hope you get into ketosis quickly
Daisy x
kenshin112
Gotta Make A Change
good to see you back jez
xx
xx
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
29 April 2010
So day 2 down.. still not in ketosis, but weirdly am really not hungry today. Had loads of water, and the usual bucketfuls of coffee. A busy morning doing a tasting - lol The Royals will be there so a bit of pressure on Had my first pack at 2:30pm which was my old fave Thai Chili soup. A small break between the end of the tasting and the other chefs arriving for tonights event (luckily we were in the same venue as the tasting) All was fine until we were plating the starter and there was some salmon mousse with croutes as part of the starter. It is not that I was hungry per se, but really wanted the bloody salmon mousse!!! To stem temptation I decided to have my peanut bar just to help me avoid putting anything else into my mouth. It is so much easier to just distract yourself. Weirdly, this little re focus week is setting out to be a bit more of a learning curve than I had imagined. I realised that because you "can" eat, it is much easier for me to have the odd tastes of food whilst prepping. A habit I obvoiously didn't indulge in during abstinence. An whilst I have never gone back to troughing away tasting bits, and I do always consciously try and compensate by cutting back on food when I have tasted. Little bits can soon add up. This little foray into LLL is certainly reminding me of all the lessons I have learnt on my journey, and probably it is worthwhile for me to do a week like this every few months. I was undecided as to whether I should eat the required meal tonight or not, the thought of just having a pack and having a complete day of abstinence was very strong. However we had a half hour break between mains and dessert service, so I did sit down with the other chefs and lucky me tonights menu was entirely eatable for me, so had a portion of some sirloin, spinach, broccoli puree and mushrooms. Lovely, but I realised also that I have recently on the odd occasion eaten more than I should have in terms of portion size. I have also probably been eating too fast so not listened to my body as much as I should have. Because as soon as I was conscious of it again I realised I was fuller much quicker. Sadly afterwards the food just felt heavy and I did feel somewhat guilty (perhaps the vast divide between abstinence and the lite version???) I have decided not to have the 3rd pack today because there is no way I will fit it in at this time of night and just before bed. I did "pee on a stick" tonight and I am not in ketosis yet, but hopefully soon. I did get shivers this afternoon so maybe it is on it's way. I certainly had no light headedness. I have 2 tastings on again tomorrow and another long day so will take it on a day by day basis to see if I will fully abstain on the day of have the 1 meal. I am not sure how fast the 3lbs will go and the further 3lbs I want to loose there after, but I am very comfortable with this nice bit of control I have over things at the moment.
More tomorrow
Jez
xx
So day 2 down.. still not in ketosis, but weirdly am really not hungry today. Had loads of water, and the usual bucketfuls of coffee. A busy morning doing a tasting - lol The Royals will be there so a bit of pressure on
Had my first pack at 2:30pm which was my old fave Thai Chili soup. A small break between the end of the tasting and the other chefs arriving for tonights event (luckily we were in the same venue as the tasting) All was fine until we were plating the starter and there was some salmon mousse with croutes as part of the starter. It is not that I was hungry per se, but really wanted the bloody salmon mousse!!! To stem temptation I decided to have my peanut bar just to help me avoid putting anything else into my mouth. It is so much easier to just distract yourself. Weirdly, this little re focus week is setting out to be a bit more of a learning curve than I had imagined. I realised that because you "can" eat, it is much easier for me to have the odd tastes of food whilst prepping. A habit I obvoiously didn't indulge in during abstinence. An whilst I have never gone back to troughing away tasting bits, and I do always consciously try and compensate by cutting back on food when I have tasted. Little bits can soon add up. This little foray into LLL is certainly reminding me of all the lessons I have learnt on my journey, and probably it is worthwhile for me to do a week like this every few months. I was undecided as to whether I should eat the required meal tonight or not, the thought of just having a pack and having a complete day of abstinence was very strong. However we had a half hour break between mains and dessert service, so I did sit down with the other chefs and lucky me tonights menu was entirely eatable for me, so had a portion of some sirloin, spinach, broccoli puree and mushrooms. Lovely, but I realised also that I have recently on the odd occasion eaten more than I should have in terms of portion size. I have also probably been eating too fast so not listened to my body as much as I should have. Because as soon as I was conscious of it again I realised I was fuller much quicker. Sadly afterwards the food just felt heavy and I did feel somewhat guilty (perhaps the vast divide between abstinence and the lite version???) I have decided not to have the 3rd pack today because there is no way I will fit it in at this time of night and just before bed. I did "pee on a stick" tonight and I am not in ketosis yet, but hopefully soon. I did get shivers this afternoon so maybe it is on it's way. I certainly had no light headedness. I have 2 tastings on again tomorrow and another long day so will take it on a day by day basis to see if I will fully abstain on the day of have the 1 meal. I am not sure how fast the 3lbs will go and the further 3lbs I want to loose there after, but I am very comfortable with this nice bit of control I have over things at the moment.More tomorrow
Jez
xx
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
1 May 2010
So happy happy joy joy - I think i am in ketosis.. well I must be, have the shivers, and not really hungry. The other very exciting news is that I have lost 3lbs since Tuesday night!! By this time next week if it carries on coming off at this rate, it will be over skidovers and back to the real world of food again. It is just quite nice to have this little break. Picked up a porridge pack and a chili pack today from LLC and also a couple more soups as my stash seemed to be only bars and shakes - the 2 soups I had ive now used. So weird to be buying packs again but lovely too I did also get my hands on 2 very indulgent fudge nut bars!! I tried one in the early days of RTM when they first came out and they were gorgeous. I hated the porridge when I tried it initially, but since I am such a lover of real porridge these days, I thought I would give it a go. The chili con carne came out after I did RTM so looking forward to giving that a try too, although it will probably need a whole whack of tabasco if reports are to be believed.
I've been thinking about my upper and lower limits weight loss wise and might aim to loose a little more than intended as it just gives me a little more room to manouvre. Will see how it goes.
Not much else to report tonight so more tomorrow.
Jez
xx
So happy happy joy joy - I think i am in ketosis.. well I must be, have the shivers, and not really hungry. The other very exciting news is that I have lost 3lbs since Tuesday night!! By this time next week if it carries on coming off at this rate, it will be over skidovers and back to the real world of food again. It is just quite nice to have this little break. Picked up a porridge pack and a chili pack today from LLC and also a couple more soups as my stash seemed to be only bars and shakes - the 2 soups I had ive now used. So weird to be buying packs again but lovely too
I did also get my hands on 2 very indulgent fudge nut bars!! I tried one in the early days of RTM when they first came out and they were gorgeous. I hated the porridge when I tried it initially, but since I am such a lover of real porridge these days, I thought I would give it a go. The chili con carne came out after I did RTM so looking forward to giving that a try too, although it will probably need a whole whack of tabasco if reports are to be believed.I've been thinking about my upper and lower limits weight loss wise and might aim to loose a little more than intended as it just gives me a little more room to manouvre. Will see how it goes.
Not much else to report tonight so more tomorrow.
Jez
xx
slendablenda
Gold Member
I LOVE that empty feeling of being in ketosis. Still find that feeling of digestion going on hard to stomach!
Well done you Jez. Don't over do it though. I've seen your recent photo and you look fab hun. xx
Well done you Jez. Don't over do it though. I've seen your recent photo and you look fab hun. xx
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
Thanks SB... Ketosis mmmm wonderful I know what you mean about that bloaty digestive feeling and it is wonderful not to have it. Checked this morning and I am - according to my scales at least another 1lb down, so almost there, I just want to go to the lower end of my weight box rather than the middle as I have a bit of a rough run at work which will require being in a field kitchen and staying at a hotel, so quite difficult to manage food correctly - I also doubt I will be able to eat at the proper times, so I need a little leeway for that. Thanks for saying I look fab Have been feeling rather unfab of late. Good news though, some what seem to be straight... good looking men have just moved in next door yesterday!! Woohoo might have to pop in with a bit of something to "welcome" them to the neighbourhood <G> Also sooo looking forward to going and seeing little Nimue tomorrow. Will take more pics. Have you heard from BL? Is there anything we can do?? Shall we all chip in to get an airfair together for her to go back to the USA to be with her Mom? I just worry so for her and so helpless because there is nothing we can do to halt this sadness for her. So yes another week on the LLL then back to normal food for me.
Have a happy day!!!
Jez
xx
I know what you mean about that bloaty digestive feeling and it is wonderful not to have it. Checked this morning and I am - according to my scales at least another 1lb down, so almost there, I just want to go to the lower end of my weight box rather than the middle as I have a bit of a rough run at work which will require being in a field kitchen and staying at a hotel, so quite difficult to manage food correctly - I also doubt I will be able to eat at the proper times, so I need a little leeway for that. Thanks for saying I look fab Have been feeling rather unfab of late. Good news though, some what seem to be straight... good looking men have just moved in next door yesterday!! Woohoo might have to pop in with a bit of something to "welcome" them to the neighbourhood <G> Also sooo looking forward to going and seeing little Nimue tomorrow. Will take more pics. Have you heard from BL? Is there anything we can do?? Shall we all chip in to get an airfair together for her to go back to the USA to be with her Mom? I just worry so for her and so helpless because there is nothing we can do to halt this sadness for her. So yes another week on the LLL then back to normal food for me. Have a happy day!!!
Jez
xx
kenshin112
Gotta Make A Change
Hey jez can't beat the ketosis feeling can you
i hope BL is staying strong miss the lady
have a great weekend hun
xx
i hope BL is staying strong miss the lady
have a great weekend hun
xx
Jezebella
Playing the Angel
2 May 2010
So another day done It has been soooo busy but productive. Early wake up call from the lovely fur kids, and some amazing bed snuggles then a lot of jumping up and down on me, so I gave up bed and got up. I had a long list of things to do, but needed to wait until 11 when the shops opened! I had a porridge pack, which whilst not amazingly wonderful, was more than nice enough, funny how in abstinence I could not stand them!!! Headed out in the pouring rain, and managed to get everything done by about 2pm. Raced home, changed and had a quick strawberry shake, slapped on some make up and headed off to town. I was meeting a friend who I hadnt seen for 2 years for coffee. We met in Victoria had some coffees then walked through London to Covent Garden where we had more coffee. The conversation and the company was fantastic, it was so nice to appreciate London and all the beautiful architecture without having to be rushing off to a job. You sometimes forget just how beautiful it is.
Got home just after 8 and had my "still feels naughty" Lite meal, of veg with some sliced lean pork loin. Very yum, but still feel like I am cheating. Em and I then got on with decorating a friends Birthday Cake. We are heading to Oxford tomorrow for K's 40th birthday, taking along lunch and a whole bunch of pressies!! The added bonus is K is the breeder of Nimue, so I get a chance to play with my new baby and cuddle all her other wonderful fur kids. I have planned the meal around LLL, so lunch will be a nicoise with fresh tuna. I am taking along bread and other nibbles for the others and wine and champers. Naturally I wont be drinking but have got a couple of soda waters to mix with fizzies.
I have been giving this whole maintaining a lot of thought of late obviously. For a while I felt like a real failure for even picking up a pound or two, like I wasnt doing what I should etc. But today I realised that in fact what I am doing is actually "managing" my weight. I think, or rather have been told that people without body issues, realise when they have put on a bit and subconsciously cut back. So although on this occasion I am using packs to help me along. It is not cheating, it is not doing anything wrong. It is in fact managing a few pounds before they become a problem. This is what normal people do. I realise it is pretty nigh on impossible to remain exactly the same weight day in, day out, month in and month out. There will be months where I am very stable and months where I put on a little. It is how I deal with that putting on a little that is what counts. And I choose not to be fat ever again. I choose to be thin and healthy. I choose to manage my weight. Wow, a lovely adult thought process. So yes instead of feeling guilty I am celebrating almost 6 months of maintenance and it is almost a year since I started LL. It is amazing how much has changed.
Hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Jez
xx
So another day done
It has been soooo busy but productive. Early wake up call from the lovely fur kids, and some amazing bed snuggles then a lot of jumping up and down on me, so I gave up bed and got up. I had a long list of things to do, but needed to wait until 11 when the shops opened! I had a porridge pack, which whilst not amazingly wonderful, was more than nice enough, funny how in abstinence I could not stand them!!! Headed out in the pouring rain, and managed to get everything done by about 2pm. Raced home, changed and had a quick strawberry shake, slapped on some make up and headed off to town. I was meeting a friend who I hadnt seen for 2 years for coffee. We met in Victoria had some coffees then walked through London to Covent Garden where we had more coffee. The conversation and the company was fantastic, it was so nice to appreciate London and all the beautiful architecture without having to be rushing off to a job. You sometimes forget just how beautiful it is.Got home just after 8 and had my "still feels naughty" Lite meal, of veg with some sliced lean pork loin. Very yum, but still feel like I am cheating. Em and I then got on with decorating a friends Birthday Cake. We are heading to Oxford tomorrow for K's 40th birthday, taking along lunch and a whole bunch of pressies!! The added bonus is K is the breeder of Nimue, so I get a chance to play with my new baby and cuddle all her other wonderful fur kids. I have planned the meal around LLL, so lunch will be a nicoise with fresh tuna. I am taking along bread and other nibbles for the others and wine and champers. Naturally I wont be drinking but have got a couple of soda waters to mix with fizzies.
I have been giving this whole maintaining a lot of thought of late obviously. For a while I felt like a real failure for even picking up a pound or two, like I wasnt doing what I should etc. But today I realised that in fact what I am doing is actually "managing" my weight. I think, or rather have been told that people without body issues, realise when they have put on a bit and subconsciously cut back. So although on this occasion I am using packs to help me along. It is not cheating, it is not doing anything wrong. It is in fact managing a few pounds before they become a problem. This is what normal people do. I realise it is pretty nigh on impossible to remain exactly the same weight day in, day out, month in and month out. There will be months where I am very stable and months where I put on a little. It is how I deal with that putting on a little that is what counts. And I choose not to be fat ever again. I choose to be thin and healthy. I choose to manage my weight. Wow, a lovely adult thought process. So yes instead of feeling guilty I am celebrating almost 6 months of maintenance and it is almost a year since I started LL. It is amazing how much has changed.
Hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Jez
xx
