Jonsgirl's Atkins daily blah blah

[galathea]

Such a fabulous dress, you look amazing! Fantastic job!

I feel sorry for your family troubles. It's just amazing that such a silly issue like "where to spend Christmas" is such a big deal in so many families. Like we don't have enough problems. My husband and I always fight on this: our families live quite far from each other and each of us wants to go "home". And the problem is that every solution will leave at least someone unhappy....

 

[Jonsgirl80]

Thanks Galathea,

it's such a stupid row. We've all spent Xmas at our hubby's parents house ever since we got together because I'm not that close to my family. Last year his sister decided she didn't want to drive over on Christmas Day so she insisted that her parents go to her house for Xmas day which they agreed to, reluctantly, to keep the peace. We weren't invited so this meant that our son missed out on seeing his grandparents on Xmas day for the first time since he was born - he was really upset and didn't understand why but we weren't given any choice in the matter just told that this is what was going to happen.

This was all agreed on the understanding that they would come to our house for Xmas day this year to make it fair. Fast forward to this year and his sister now decides its not fair that her son will not see his grandparents on Xmas day and wants to move it back to the parents house, when hubby says no it's supposed to be at our house as agreed this year all hell breaks loose, major tantrums, accusing us of being selfish and only thinking of ourselves and not thinking about how it will affect her boy not to see his nana and grandad on Xmas day ( she's got a very short memory as that's exactly how our boy was made to feel last year) so to compromise and keep the peace I say that they are all welcome at our house so that both boys get to be with their grandparents. She point blank refuses to set foot in our house - says it's got to be at the parents or nothing.

His sister is really hard work at times and threw such a tantrum that to keep the peace with her and stop her kicking off they agreed to stay at their house so SIL can go over there and we can join them "if we want" so she's completely got her own way again (which to be honest she always does because she screams until she does) and hubby is fuming. The stupid thing is we were always happy to go to his parents and to continue doing so until she insisted on changing it last year but as I said she's got a really short memory about that. The fact that she called us selfish and shouted at my husband that she couldn't understand "why we want to change everything" was just the final straw.

i just don't think they are going to resolve this - a lot of things were said on both sides that can't be taken back and they are just both so stubborn that I just don't see a way back from this. It's times like this I'm glad I don't see my siblings at all xx

 

[kellmo]

Oh she sounds like an absolute TREAT!

My SIL has no chn of her own and so dotes on ours. Which is good and bad in different ways.

I feel your pain. I love the idea of Christmas but the actual day is so stressful. Family pisses me RIGHT off!

 

[Jonsgirl80]

Thanks Kellmo,

she's lovely as long as she gets her own way - everything always has to be a huge drama and I'm completely the opposite. I like a quiet life.

The thing is when all this crap gets flung at you, you actually do start to question yourself and thinking "am I being unreasonable here??" But I can't see that we are being.

I'm the same with families - I left home at 14 as I couldn't stick it any longer but hubby is very close to his parents ( who to be fair are absolutely lovely) so I guess it's something I just have to live with xx

 

[kellmo]

Families.

Can't live with them. Can't murder them all in an 'accidental' mafia style shoot up.

Damn

 

[Jonsgirl80]

Families.

Can't live with them. Can't murder them all in an 'accidental' mafia style shoot up.

Damn

Haaaaaaaaaa!

i do quite often fantasise about increasingly unusual, inventive and nasty ways to bump off family members who pee me off. I'm a scientist - I'm sure i could make it look like an accident.

hey, it's a small thing but it cheers me up and gets me through the days lol xx

 

[kellmo]

Oooh how interesting! What science do you scientist in!!??

 

[Kat1e]

Oh dear - sorry to hear about nightmare families. Always tricky!

You look fabulous in that dress - well done
X

 

[Jonsgirl80]

Oooh how interesting! What science do you scientist in!!??

lol I have a degree in applied physics but my interest has always been more in chemistry, pharmacology and toxicology. Totally fascinated by drugs and poisons. Unfortunately at the moment I can't get a job in any of those so I work for a charity instead but I'm still a science geek at heart lol xx

 

[kellmo]

Wow! That's so interesting! I'm specialising in science for my teaching degree (but this is because I couldn't do modern foreign languages!)

 

[Jonsgirl80]

Lol I only did physics because I couldn't afford to do chemistry.( I won a scholarship to do physics but it wasn't available to people doing chemistry) so physics seemed to be the next best thing. Sad how these things have to come down to money.

Aww thats a shame about the languages but Science teaching could be really cool - you can make it really interesting. I've looked into going into teaching more times that I care to think about (I even accepted a teacher training post in a school a few years ago) but something has always changed my mind - i just dont think i could pull it off, it takes a very special person to be a good teacher and I don't think that is me.

Wow bit of a difference between science and languages - how did that come about?? I definitely could not do modern languages - I speak Spanish as I lived there for two years and basic French too but I tried to do Italian at Alevel and had to give it up as I kept getting confused between all the different languages and ended up speaking a strange mix of all three lol x

 

[slaj]

Wow to you in the dress, look gorgeous and love the matching shoes.
Sorry to hear about the family arguments, Christmas is such a stressful time for many. If you end up spending Christmas Day on your own you will make it very special for Jacob, perhaps your in laws could come to you on Boxing Day ?
Hope it gets resolved amicably x

 

[Jonsgirl80]

Thanks Sandra,

i love my purple shoes - they are the ones I wore on my wedding day so always bring back lovely memories when wearing them. Plus they are five inch heels which always makes me feel good wearing them as I am so tiny.

Doubt the family thing will be resolved amicably unless we completely roll over and let her get her own way again. Hubby says he's done that for the past 30 years and enough is enough when it starts to impact on our child who will be devastated again if he doesn't see his grandparents on Xmas morning (last year he asked if they were cross with him because he didn't understand why they were with his cousin on Xmas morning and not him - it broke our hearts to see him so upset) I can see hubby's point but even he's been in tears over this and it's just all so stupid xx

 

[coffeelover]

What a nightmare she sounds, where do your inlaws stand, I guess they're in the middle. It's the kids that pay feel for you all. x

 

[Jonsgirl80]

Yes they are very much in the middle - my mother in law has been in tears over this too. The major problem is my father in law who can always somehow manage to see things from his daughter's side no matter how ridiculous she is being. he always makes excuses for her and generally takes her side over most things without even thinking about it. This time he has actually said that he thinks she is "possibly being a little unreasonable but that is just the way she is and we have to learn to live with it" however he wont say any of that to her. Mother in law has said to me privately that she feels her daughter is being completely out of order but is remaining neutral and not getting involved or her daughter will kick off so much it will make their life very difficult. Unfortunately because one parent is biased towards her and the other is neutral she always gets her own way.

 

[CornishTT]

It's such a shame that your son is suffering the most for it (and your poor hubby). Families can be difficult, hope you can find a solution soon x

 

[meg38]

Ah Hun family's and Christmas such a rubbish mix!! X
Reading your posts made me realise I won't have to suffer the in laws this year!!!!!! I don't have to worry about spreading myself so thin that I am exhausted the first week in January! Even though I am working, I am looking forward to the Most relaxing Christmas in years x

 

[Jonsgirl80]

Indeed meg. Fortunately I absolutely love my parents in law and we get on well 99% of the time and enjoy spending time together. The only fly in the ointment is the sister. It will be so nice for you this year to be able to please yourself and not think about having to split yourself in two and run around trying to please everyone xx

so today I have been out and about - had a bit of a disaster this morning when I realised hubby had not washed any of my work clothes ( I've been working from home Monday and Tuesday so just wearing my jeans but need to be smart when seeing clients) I was not happy as the washing and washing up are his responsibility and the only things I ask him to do - grrrrr!

Most of my clothes are packed away as I'm still decorating my bedroom so I was scrabbling through drawers and bags looking for stuff. The only pair of trousers I could find that we're wearable eg not dirty or heavily creased were an old grey pair I had not worn since I got pregnant with Jacob - in fact they still had an elastic band around the button from when I'd tried to extend them to accomodate my bump so I could keep wearing them (i had to try to hide my pregnancy at work for quite a while so couldn't buy maternity trousers)

Anyway I knew there was no way they were going to fit - because they are a very small size 14 but in desperation I tried them anyway - they only blooming fit didn't they? And they fit comfortably too. The funny thing is they didn't fit me when I got married even though I was a stone lighter than I am now. I had thought that I looked a lot slimmer than last time I did Atkins and my tummy is a lot flatter and that must be the case i must have lost more inches this time or they still wouldn't fit me - I find that really strange.

Had jacob's parents evening last night and his teacher is very pleased with him, says he's very hardworking and a pleasure to teach and doing well I'm every subject so I'm very proud. We decided to get him a little treat - something not food based as we're trying to move away from that - we asked him what he wanted the only thing he wanted was a goldfish so I went out today and got him one. (To be fair he has been asking for one for a few weeks since we went to the fair and they were giving them away as prizes on the hook a duck.)

well I never knew it would be so hard to purchase a goldfish I had to answer so many questions to make sure "our environment was suitable for a fish" it took about 20 minutes and in the end they wouldn't let me buy a goldfish as the tank I have is not suitable - why do they sell those tanks then???? I had to buy a different species that don't grow as big and then I had to buy two because apparently they would get lonely!!??! Luckily the others were cheaper or I would have thought they were trying to fleece me. I am an animal lover but, seriously, that's a lot of hard work to buy a blooming goldfish! So we now have two new additions to the family named obi wan kenobi-fish and anakin-fish (jacob's choice as he's Star Wars mad lol)

Foodwise things haven't been great this week all the family stress has taken its toll on us and we've not been 100% on plan, Although i've not been eating much what i have been eating has not been the best to be honest. I've been a bit down and cooking is always the first thing to slide when I feel like that so a few takeaways have been consumed (mostly kebabs so not too bad but not as good as eating home cooked meat and green veggies like I usually would) We are away this weekend and next weekend for hubby's birthday then our wedding anniversary so I'm just going to be as good as I can and not be so hard on myself if I'm not 100% after that we have 5 weeks run up to Xmas with not much planned so I can have a good run at it before Christmas comes.

Hope you are all "winning" ladies xx

 

[kimmi1982]

I've Been away a week and it's all been happening!! You really do look amazing in that dress!! I love the halter neck style dress, very flattering! I have a few beautiful monsoon dresses in the cupboard in size 14 and no where near fitting them..... But I will!!

The whole family Christmas things sounds a nightmare!! Sounds like your sis in law is being a bit unfair!! I used to hate Christmas, I was single and felt lonely, parents are divorced with dad spending it with his new family and mum was never into Christmas. Anyway since being with Daniel I have really embraced Cristmas as he loves it and his family make a real big thing about it!! I love it but now get a guilt trip from my brothers family because they want to experience a big family Christmas!! I've made traditions with my boyfriends family now and we always spend Boxing Day with my family!! It's sooo hard to please everyone!!

Anyway sorry to bombard your page!! You have done so well!! We started at the same time and you've done so much better than me!! Do you know when your ivf will be starting yet? Exciting times for you xx x

 

[Jonsgirl80]

Thanks Kim,

No don't apologise - its nice to hear from you - did you have a lovely holiday??

i also have some monsoon dresses in my wardrobe - two gorgeous silk ones one a 14 and one a 12 I toyed with the idea of selling them on eBay but can't bring myself to do it. I will fit into them one day.

the Xmas thing is such a knightmare isnt it - my family has never really been close so we've not done the Christmas thing at all really but it's huge in hubby's family - I've spent every year with them since we got together and it's always been nice and felt natural to us - like you say you get used to it and make your own traditions with them. I think we would have been happy to continue on like that forever if all this hadn't come up last year - it's kind of spoilt it for me and taken the shine off Xmas when I was pretty excited before.

I think you are doing very well yourself, you should give yourself more credit, I know you said you've had the odd little slip here and there but that happens and you always get back on it quickly - unfortunately for me I can only be really good when my head is in the right place which luckily it has been lately but it's not always like that. i am strict with myself but that is because i need to be - because when I slip up it usually makes me come off plan big time (I'm talking several weeks!!) that's why I'm really strict about not letting it happen in the first place.

no news on the IVF yet. Hubby has to have an operation first which he is on the waiting list for - we were hoping it would be before Xmas but that is looking unlikely as we've heard nothing so will probably be January. Once that is done we can start the IVF process straight away. I can't wait to get started on it, I'm really excited xx