Julz journey to a thinner me! :)

[Julz]

Change of tack for me, I need to refocus my goals, and exercise, so I am going to try and update this diary everyday, to see if I can then identify why I am feeling down and fed up, despite almost 4 stone loss, for the last few days I have completely gone off the focus I had. The diet is not at fault, just fed up, and exhausted, don't feel like doing anything! :raincloud: probably just feeling sorry for myself, but struggling to shake it off.:needhug:, and I have been hungry all week, I ended up eating a piece of the next days bar, 2 days running!

I know I have done really well so far and only have 25lbs or so to go, which should be achievable in the next 6 or so weeks, depending how my 2 week holiday goes at the beginning of September.

I might re evaluate my goal when I come back from hols, not sure if 10 st 5lbs is too low, I am comfortably getting into most size 12/10.

Just back from group and WI, we had a new starter today, and there were only 3 of us in total, so really struggling not getting much out of the group :sigh:

I need to focus on my exercise now, I am doing bits of lots of programs, after reading brilliant and inspirational Hannah's diary again last night I have been totally re motivated, and feel it would be useful to record it here as an ongoing reminder of what's going on.


:character00115:
Exercise:
So far Sunday:
Swam 50 lengths at hydro pool
Did 10 widths of exercise
Shake weight 6 minutes
Swiss ball 5 minutes
25 x 60 second abs

Hope everyone has had a good weekend and great losses!
Jx

 

[Debbi8489]

Did you manage to get a peanut bar Julz?

Thanks for the info about exercise. I'm scared of loose skin, so have been excercising, but taking it easy. Will step it up in a couple of weeks xx

 

[Julz]

Yes, got one today, they were on the shelf all along and I didn't see them!
Saving it for later in the week.
Loose skin bothers me, my LLC says not to exercise, as it will sort itself out but I don't think so. My stomach is definitely better for the exercise, I am using some oils as well hope it all works together!
Jx

 

[Debbi8489]

Yes, got one today, they were on the shelf all along and I didn't see them!
Saving it for later in the week.
Loose skin bothers me, my LLC says not to exercise, as it will sort itself out but I don't think so. My stomach is definitely better for the exercise, I am using some oils as well hope it all works together!
Jx

Eh? Thats a new one on me! I also moisurise loads, hoping that will help. I'm using a Sanctuary Body Oil at the moment. Thats a lovely one.

 

[Julz]

Julz journey to a thinner me

Day 124
Had a better day today, energy levels seem better, black mood that was with me since Friday seems to have lifted, which is much better. Def think its linked with TOTM/menopause, deep joy.

Had a chilli yesterday for the first time in a couple of weeks and I have an upset tummy not sure if its the chilli or not.

Got the 30 day shred out again today and managed the first level, well nearly! Jumping jacks are wicked killers! Bought 2 sports bras, which helped with the wobbly bits, thanks Hannah!. Gotta keep at it to get rid of the muffin top, quite enthusiastic about exercising, really not like me at all, hope the effort pays off before my holiday, looming closer....... Couldn't do the press ups, I have a cyst on my left knee just where it would go on the floor, and the other knee is my replacement one which I can't properly kneel on, but I gave it a good effort, surely it will get easier as it goes on

At yesterday's WI I have now lost 3st 13lbs, so close to the 4st mark, never mind next time, it was good for a 4lb loss so I am happy anyway.

Still very cold hands and feet every evening straight into my winter dressing gown, and its supposed to be summer!! Sleep pattern disrupted again, not really sure why as it had settled down, so really tired in the mornings.

Exercise today
AM
Lateral Thigh Trainer
60 second abs, x 25
PM
Day 1 shred Yah!!:8855:
60 second abs x 25
Swiss ball 5 mins
Shake weight
11913 steps

 

[slendablenda]

Deep joy Julz, but I feel exhausted! Perhaps God's put that cyst there to slow you down a bit!

 

[Julz]

Deep joy Julz, but I feel exhausted! Perhaps God's put that cyst there to slow you down a bit!

Now why didn't I see that!! Thanks SB, hope you are not too tired and kicking ass!
Jx

 

[Clarabow]

Wotcha lovely girl.
Sorry to hear you have been feeling a bit down. Bloddy hormones eh ? Weight loss doesn't cure everything but it sure as hell helps Well done for fast approaching the 4stone, and the exercise you are doing is amazing, really impressed with that.

Keep posting though, it will help sort out what is behind that mood. I think we have hidden our feelings for so long under a blanket of food that it becomes difficult to sort out what those feelings are in the end.

Onwards and downwards lovely xx

 

[Julz]

Wotcha lovely girl.
Sorry to hear you have been feeling a bit down. Bloddy hormones eh ? Weight loss doesn't cure everything but it sure as hell helps Well done for fast approaching the 4stone, and the exercise you are doing is amazing, really impressed with that.

Keep posting though, it will help sort out what is behind that mood. I think we have hidden our feelings for so long under a blanket of food that it becomes difficult to sort out what those feelings are in the end.

Onwards and downwards lovely xx

Thanks Clara, just feel a little lost, strange feelings. I agree with the hidden feelings under a blanket of food, at the session on Sunday we were talking about time, and we had to write out about our achievements and what we are proud of ourselves about, bizarre, that damn onion, I ended up tears rolling down my face, not really sure why? (hormones) Right now I feel like climbing under my quilt and just staying there, but I know that's the wrong thing and will achieve nothing, but it would probably make me feel better, for a short while.

Hope you are doing ok and your lesser spotted egg is even lesser spotted!
Jx

 

[Julz]

Julz journey to a thinner me

Day 125
Thought I had more energy today, but feel exhausted tonight, think its down to not sleeping well, unsure reason for this except job, not enough money and generally feeling fed up, and tearful!
I should not feel like this, and I think that's the hard part for me. I really should be doing some housework, but just can't be bothered, its been like this for a couple of weeks and its closing in on me, but I can't seem to get it together to do it. I've tried making a short time to do some tidying to take it in bite size bits, but still not getting done.

Felt hungry again nearly all day, came home had my shake, then 1 hour later had a bar which I shouldn't have had, so 5 packs today. I tried really hard not to, walked away from the fridge, tried to distract myself, child like behaviour took over. So all the CBT I have had, has not stuck in my brain. That was my last spare pack so won't be having anymore over the 4 :cry:

I have booked a massage and nail to be done in 2 weeks which is the week before my holiday, you would think that would lift my spirits, but not having that affect.
We finished work early today due to concerns about safety with the rioting going on, the police alerted us we may not be safe and they expect some trouble tonight. Shops closed early, not a good sign. Boss booked and paid for a taxi to get me home safe so really happy about that.

Exercise today
No shred
25 x 60 second abs
5 mins swiss ball
8760 steps

Bed shortly, sorry for the grumpy blog
Jx

 

[Clarabow]

For me I know I sometimes need a duvet day especially when I need to process some heavy duty stuff. Sounds as if the exercise brought up a whole lot of stuff for you, I wont ask you to go into detail. PM me though if you want to talk further about it, promise you I am a good listener. Honest

If you were feelingless than satisfied with what the onion revealed, you need to look at it again. Often we under estimate the impact and value that we have, in our own lives and in the lives of others. When I am not feeling good in myself for whatever reason, I often think really poor thoughts about myself and undervalue who I am and what I have "achieved". Personally think achievement is over rated. Achievement for whom and of what ? Often it is stuff that we are told we should want or should be.

Sorry for taking over your thread with a bit of a personal rant. Hope it triggers something for you though. Onwards my lovely and remember to be kind to yourself xx

 

[Clarabow]

Just saw the last post. Some days are really hard, lots of emotion going on and nothing is feeling right. Food was the answer a lot of the time to provide that anaesthetic. Dont work in the long run, but hells teeth it is uncomfortable sitting with the feelings.

Stick with it, you are doing exceptionally well in a very trying situation. x

 

[slendablenda]

Challenging times for you Julz, sounds like you are dealing with some tough stuff at the moment. xx

 

[Catthin]

Sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment.i hope it lifts for you soon.
You are doing so well with your exercise and weight loss.
Be kind to yourself andtake care
Cathy

 

[Julz]

Just saw the last post. Some days are really hard, lots of emotion going on and nothing is feeling right. Food was the answer a lot of the time to provide that anaesthetic. Dont work in the long run, but hells teeth it is uncomfortable sitting with the feelings.

Stick with it, you are doing exceptionally well in a very trying situation. x

Thanks for the support Clara, really am struggling and dealing with strange thoughts in my head, crooked thoughts, not sure. Having internal conversations and not making any sense, I'm sure it will work it's way out, just taking a bit of time.
It seems to be bubbling just under the surface, at every turn, swinging from emotion to emotion. Obviously didn't deal properly with the issues in the first place, will address, the trigger seems to be around my parents divorce and subsequently my divorce, which was a very long time ago, so really really not sure why it suddenly is so raw and affecting my sanity! Well that's what we were discussing in group on Sunday.
Jx

 

[Julz]

Challenging times for you Julz, sounds like you are dealing with some tough stuff at the moment. xx

Thanks SB, think I am maybe pandering to myself, need a kick up the bottom! Trying to shake it, but seems to have a grip, deeper than I first thought. I'm sure it will shift soon
Jx

 

[Julz]

Sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment.i hope it lifts for you soon.
You are doing so well with your exercise and weight loss.
Be kind to yourself andtake care
Cathy

Thanks Cathy, I really just wish I could shake it off, its not like me at all, usually I feel quite up beat, its not LL, but seems to have stirred up some feelings I had not dealt with before.
I'm sure it will fade away soon.
Hope you are getting on well, I will have a peep around shortly at everyone's stats.
Jx

 

[Julz]

Julz journey to a thinner me

Day 126
Bit of an up and down day, feeling less tired today which is great, made an agreement with myself, bed by 10pm. Not hungry today, which is brilliant
Not much to mention really, went for an eye test and found I need to upgrade my glasses, and had hoped not too, so that's another £250 I could do without spending. :cry:

Legs a bit stiff today, feels like exercise is working.
Going away to see family this weekend which will be great, middle granddaughters birthday party, so lots of fun. Looking forward to seeing everyone.:family2:

Still cold hands and feet, sitting here with winter dressing gown, track bottoms, and a blanket, deep joy
Shred was better today, can nearly do all the jumping jacks

Night everyone, hope everyone has a good Thursday, yeah, nearly the weekend!

Jx
Exercise
AM
25 x 60 second abs
10 mins swiss ball
PM
25 x 60 second abs
Day 1 again 30 day shred, modified
Shake weight
13,432 steps

 

[Clarabow]

Ow now ( said in her best Nessa accent), nowt wrong with pandering to yourself once in a while. Sounds as if you dont do a great deal of that, and are a get on with it and keep a stiff upper lip person. Did you allow yourself or have time to deal with the emotional side of either divorce? Could it be that you forced it away, put it in a box and now it is comming back up and biting you? Take a bit of time to indulge yourself. As Julian Clary was fond of saying wrap yourself up in your cape of sorrow. Acknowledge it, mourn it, feel sorry for yourself then when you have sorrowed enough MOVE ON. Dont know if you can really jump to the moving on without going through the emotion bit first.

If however you turn into a bit of a Miss Haversham wailing recluse can we have the number of someone near you to call to come and rescue you? lol

It will pass, you will come through this and be better and stronger than you were before. xx

 

[Julz]

Brilliant Clara, thanks that made me laugh!
Have sent you a PM
Jx