Julz journey to a thinner me! :)

[Julz]

I had a bad day work wise yesterday as well, it is bullying but soo subtle you do wonder "hell is it me ?" It really knocks your confidence. I have my appraisal this morning with said manager. Needless to say not looking forward to it. Last year the most positive thing she said was that I survived the year ! Ah well ... I'm not the one that dropped 5 pay grades in job evaluation ! SO THERE ! Petty I know.

Onwards and downwards.

ps Jules I always thought you lost a little more in route to management ? and that it was after that there was a little gain of glycogen ?

That's crap, hope your appraisal was better than you thought it would be. Last one I had was 5 years ago, I have no idea what I should be doing or if it's ok, I hear when there is a problem and it needs fixing!! Another reason for leaving ......

I understood the same about the glycogen but apparently not according to LLC, I don't think she is very good at all, sometimes we just chat and don't do the workbooks, which I need! Greeters
Hope you have a good evening and had a better day today
Jx

 

[Julz]

Well, great day today, I have a Client meeting tomorrow and for 3 lunchtimes I have been looking for new work trousers, the ones I am wearing are far too big and look odd with the belt I need to wear when I wear them.
Tried on 10 pairs today in various shops, also bought a dress from Bon marche , bearing in mind I never wear dresses, it is lovely. I tried it on at work and was very pleased with the comments, my confidence grew and grew and grew. I still can't see a smaller me, had to get an extra small waterproof jacket in primary yesterday, the small was too big!

So I am braving it and going to wear it tomorrow, to work! The comments surprised me and they are so supportive ( the floor I work on), it was lovely, so I went to telco tonight on the way home and bought some tights, I'm going to wear my knee length boots as well, so far outside my comfort zone, have never worn a dress to work in 14 years, only worn trousers for the last 10 years! Omg!! Even bought a new lippy, do you know what? I'm turning into a girlie rather than Tom boy, I'm loving it, confidence still low about how good I look, according to others, we will see.
Big client meeting followed by lunch , not sure what I am going to say, but will enjoy it all the same.

Ketosis fairy finally kicked in overnight, so no hunger today, bless her


Jx

 

[mini me]

Well, great day today, I have a Client meeting tomorrow and for 3 lunchtimes I have been looking for new work trousers, the ones I am wearing are far too big and look odd with the belt I need to wear when I wear them.
Tried on 10 pairs today in various shops, also bought a dress from Bon marche , bearing in mind I never wear dresses, it is lovely. I tried it on at work and was very pleased with the comments, my confidence grew and grew and grew. I still can't see a smaller me, had to get an extra small waterproof jacket in primary yesterday, the small was too big!

So I am braving it and going to wear it tomorrow, to work! The comments surprised me and they are so supportive ( the floor I work on), it was lovely, so I went to telco tonight on the way home and bought some tights, I'm going to wear my knee length boots as well, so far outside my comfort zone, have never worn a dress to work in 14 years, only worn trousers for the last 10 years! Omg!! Even bought a new lippy, do you know what? I'm turning into a girlie rather than Tom boy, I'm loving it, confidence still low about how good I look, according to others, we will see.
Big client meeting followed by lunch , not sure what I am going to say, but will enjoy it all the same.

Ketosis fairy finally kicked in overnight, so no hunger today, bless her

Jx

Hi julz it's niki from the Sunday group, I decided not to carry on with LLC as didn't agree with mixed group LLT and LLL and lack of guidance and support. Good to see you are doing so well
Take care x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[slendablenda]

Hello Julz
Fantastic post -well done you. Look forward to hearing the reaction to the dress. I was the same, didn't wear dresses for years.xx

 

[Clarabow]

Great post Julz. Enjoy the classes and hope you rocked the dress. You know you will x

Appraisal better than last year, but not by much! We shall see what the final comments were when it comes to her putting pen down on paper

Rocked work today, did some epic handling of things cooking with gas and in the zone! Made me happy if no one else rofl
Tomorrow is Friday then a whoooooooooole week off.

Lost a 1 1/2 this week which I am thrilled with as expected to gain with the glycogen thing. May hit me next week though who knows.

Onwards and downwards x

 

[Julz]

Hey niki, great to hear from you. I'm struggling with the mixed group, but now there is only 2/3 of us and it's really not working, the dynamics are wrong, and we hardly do any cbt. Spoke to LLC last week about management, but not convinced I will stat there to do it. I do want to do it, did you go to the other LLC?

How are you doing? I'm on my iPad so can't see your stats? You must be finished now?
Jx

 

[Julz]

Hello Julz
Fantastic post -well done you. Look forward to hearing the reaction to the dress. I was the same, didn't wear dresses for years.xx

Thanks SB, well all I had all day was"you look amazing!!" which by the end of the day I began to accept, it's really so strange, brain struggles to accept it, but I did enjoy. Went on client visit today, haven't seen them for a few months, and they said the same! So really I am delighted. Think I'm going to enjoy wearing dresses!
Jx

 

[Julz]

Great post Julz. Enjoy the classes and hope you rocked the dress. You know you will x

Appraisal better than last year, but not by much! We shall see what the final comments were when it comes to her putting pen down on paper

Rocked work today, did some epic handling of things cooking with gas and in the zone! Made me happy if no one else rofl
Tomorrow is Friday then a whoooooooooole week off.

Lost a 1 1/2 this week which I am thrilled with as expected to gain with the glycogen thing. May hit me next week though who knows.

Onwards and downwards x

Thanks Clara, well done you losing, there is the risk of glycogen weight gain, but if you are careful and follow the beck plan, could be it will be working for you!
Thankfully it's Friday tomorrow, it's been quite a week! Lovely for you having a whole week off, you doing anything?
The dress, black woollen tights and knee length boots, apparently I looked a sexy mama! In a nice way!
Odd very odd, it seems to have taken forever to get to this stage at times, but then other times it seems like I just started a few weeks ago.
Glad you rocked today at work, I feel like I did too! Have a great week off
Jx

 

[Clarabow]

Proud of you, you are doing sooo well x

 

[Julz]

.

 

[slendablenda]

Sexy Mama - in a nice way

 

[Catthin]

Must have felt really good getting all those lovely compliments.You have worked hard to achieve you new slim figure so you should be feeling really proud and loving all the compliment.Well done
Cathy

 

[Julz]

Thanks ladies, it was lovely to get the comments, they are just so alien to my brain. I also strangely struggling today, no real reason except I'm out of my routine. Hope to shake it by tomorrow, am in bed already absolutely shattered, I have done nearly no exercise since coming back from holiday, and I'm a bit mad with myself over it. I really need to catch it before it gets out of hand. I went through these feelings a few weeks ago, and it took a few weeks to shake it, I really felt rock bottom and I'm not going there again.

I feel wiped out, I know ketosis kicked in during the week, and was expecting full energy to follow, but seems to be daring at the moment.

On a brighter note I have decided this is probably my last week or so on total, going to talk to LLC tomorrow at WI and let her know intention of switching to maintenance from next week, I really don't have the money to continue much longer. Spoke to GP Friday, he has agreed to fight my corner for me to have a Breast reduction on nhs, if I can maintain my weight as it is for six months. He doesn't support LL but was very supportive of my weight losses to date, I said I am nearing the end and the real battle begins now, which will continue for the rest of my life, I think that is what swayed him. Anyway I need to go back in march, I did say I planned to lose more weight which he was happy with. I also asked him for guidance on my 'ideal' weight, as there is such a variation, we agreed I should aim for the size I feel happiest with. My bmi is 28 on his scales and he said if I have the op it would be 25!
It's been a long time churning in my mind about having this op, and previous GP said she would not even consider putting me forward until bmi was below 25, at that time 2 years ago my bmi was 38, so pretty impossible pre LL. So I am chuffed to say the least, I need to not gain weight ( that's my plan anyway), and put a good case to the pct which GP would do, can't be for cosmetic reasons, I told him it's not, psychologically it's not good, when I was overweight by so much, my boobs blended in more with my tummy, so not so obvious, not any more!
Confidence is growing each day thanks to LL, and I am so glad to be happy to be able to say I could not have managed this without all of your wonderful support and advice, so thank you all as well, group has helped a bit but not very much.

Its been nearly 6 months and my life has changed I hope forever, on occasion I know I will make it, but sometimes I feel it could be such an easy slope to go back down if I don't keep it all in check and I have to wonder if I am strong enough to make it, which sounds like I am waiting to fail, but I don't mean it like that ........ Not sure what I mean, sorry to go on wittering, well it's 8.45 Saturday night, I'm in bed, what a life !!
I'm sure this will pass, hope everyone has a fab weekend and fab week with great losses.
Jx

 

[Julz]

Hi nikki from Sunday group, I can't seem to find the thread you replied to me on? Can you get in touch again on this thread?
Thanx
Jx

 

[Clarabow]

Morning Julz,
Lot of emotion going on there for sure. Lighter life does shake up the brain and the emotions, not always in a good way initially but in the long run vital for progress to be made.

Great news about the breast reduction op, incredible incentive to maintain and keep on going. I think it is useful to be a bit wary of gaining. Complacency can lead to all the bad habits kicking back in and the weight going on.

Get your head in the right place lovely. Half the battle is catching the destructive thoughts then knobbling them before they get hold.

Onwards and downwards honey, rooting for you xx

 

[slendablenda]

Hi Julz
Firstly well done on what you ave achieved in the past 6 month. Congratulations.
Great tat you have a GP who recognises how hard you've worked to reduce your weight and BMI and will put a case forward for your op.
Dramatic changes have taken place for you emotionally and physically, but although LL can be absolutely life changing the mundane and boring aspects of life will still be there.
The rubbishy times will still occur, but hopefully the strength and self confidence you have gained will help you to deal with them.
It's a lovely sunny day here, hope it is with you. It does help lift the spirits.
Keep posting :character00238:

 

[eatlikeabird]

Hi Julz,
Glad for you that your current GP is much more supportive than your previous GP. The time will fly to March and great incentive to keep to your goals.

 

[mini me]

Hi nikki from Sunday group, I can't seem to find the thread you replied to me on? Can you get in touch again on this thread?
Thanx
Jx

Hi julz, hope your ok, you are doing soooo well x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[Catthin]

good luck with you RTM and your breast reduction.Great news that your GP is being supportive.
Cathy

 

[Julz]

Morning Julz,
Lot of emotion going on there for sure. Lighter life does shake up the brain and the emotions, not always in a good way initially but in the long run vital for progress to be made.

Great news about the breast reduction op, incredible incentive to maintain and keep on going. I think it is useful to be a bit wary of gaining. Complacency can lead to all the bad habits kicking back in and the weight going on.

Get your head in the right place lovely. Half the battle is catching the destructive thoughts then knobbling them before they get hold.

Onwards and downwards honey, rooting for you xx

Hi Clara
Yes I am glad about the breast op finally coming to a point that it might just happen.
I think my head is getting in the right place, I had a strange conversation today with LLC about moving to management.
After the conversation with my GP this week and agreeing it would be best if I stop LL when I am at the size I want to be, rather than a specific weight, and with the positive comments this week, backed up with LL suggesting that you stop Total when you reach your goal, the go an extra 7lbs below target is not recognised, on maintenance you now stay the same throughout, rather than gain a bit. I decided that the coming week would be my final week on Total and would switch to maintenance from next Sunday.

LLC suggested I need to be really sure as others had started maintenance and had regretted not losing a further half stone. She did not say I can't start next week, but seemed a mixed message. I had already set a mini goal to start 1 October, then reviewed that around my holiday, and thought it would take another few weeks on Total before I get to where I think I want to be.
LLC said she cant tell me when to start maintenance, but she inferred she was suggesting that it would be very difficult to move back to Total if I decide to lose more weight, so I need to be comfortable that I am at the weight I want to be. ........ Well I think I am
I am feeling a little confused, and to be honest not that comfortable about support from LLC, so I might switch groups for maintenance stage.
I am really positive and quite determined I will get to where I need to be, and stay there -/+ 7lbs.

Hope you are doing well, how's it going for you off LL? Did you buy the LL cook books? I have been reviewing them again and starting to get ideas for maintenance side.

Thanks for the support
Jx