Kandy gastric bypass diary before and after(ish) piccies!
- Thread starter kandy
- Start date
kandy
Silver Member
Hi DQ,
I have stayed away from food completely today just my christmas dinner to go !
Well today, i have paid the remainder of my op off . OMG 2 hours in the bank wanted to cry !!
All done, no backing out now.
Have bought a few things from my list of must buys lol . Windeze and liquid paracetamol very glam .
Must pull my finger out with the old shopping list , not like me at all i know once i start filling my suitcase its seriously close haha !
Lotsa love Julie xxx
I have stayed away from food completely today just my christmas dinner to go !
Well today, i have paid the remainder of my op off . OMG 2 hours in the bank wanted to cry !!
All done, no backing out now.
Have bought a few things from my list of must buys lol . Windeze and liquid paracetamol very glam .
Must pull my finger out with the old shopping list , not like me at all i know once i start filling my suitcase its seriously close haha !
Lotsa love Julie xxx
DQ
Queen of the Damned
kandy
Silver Member
Hi DQ,
Thanks m8 xxx
Dear Diary,
Well just thinking about the changes my body will be going through in the next 12-24 mths. I know it's normal to be nervous and scared. I am dreading travelling to belgium silly really , its ok to be hacked about but a few hours on a train makes me feel sick !
Everything booked and paid for still havent successfully started my protein diet its so hit and miss i have a list of a few foods that i cant have but no clear indication of what i can have i think i will actually do the dreaded slimfast because at least there are firmer boundaries food wise .
I am also frustrated feeling quite lonely in my decision, nobody will talk to me about it even my hubby is finding it hard to deal with. So i research and find out new things and i have no one to discuss it with. I feel quite low about this i know i am doing this for me but i feel sad i have no support . My mum is coming with me but she is very excited about the trip in general so i feel i cant discuss anything with her . I was advised on a WLS forum to write letters to loved ones in case anything bad happens during surgery and i am finding this hard to get on with . Even if i manage to write them who can i give them too , no-one wants to talk to me about it.
So hear i stay going quietly out of my mind!
Ramble over, and if the worst happens maybe one of my nearest and dearest will stumble on my diary . So just in case !!!! I love you all !!!!!
Kandy xxx
Thanks m8 xxx
Dear Diary,
Well just thinking about the changes my body will be going through in the next 12-24 mths. I know it's normal to be nervous and scared. I am dreading travelling to belgium silly really , its ok to be hacked about but a few hours on a train makes me feel sick !
Everything booked and paid for still havent successfully started my protein diet its so hit and miss i have a list of a few foods that i cant have but no clear indication of what i can have i think i will actually do the dreaded slimfast because at least there are firmer boundaries food wise .
I am also frustrated feeling quite lonely in my decision, nobody will talk to me about it even my hubby is finding it hard to deal with. So i research and find out new things and i have no one to discuss it with. I feel quite low about this i know i am doing this for me but i feel sad i have no support . My mum is coming with me but she is very excited about the trip in general so i feel i cant discuss anything with her . I was advised on a WLS forum to write letters to loved ones in case anything bad happens during surgery and i am finding this hard to get on with . Even if i manage to write them who can i give them too , no-one wants to talk to me about it.
So hear i stay going quietly out of my mind!
Ramble over, and if the worst happens maybe one of my nearest and dearest will stumble on my diary . So just in case !!!! I love you all !!!!!
Kandy xxx
bondgirl
Member
Kandy ((((((((HUGS))))))))
Listen coming from someone who has been where you are now and doesn't regret it for a minute, I know exactly how lonely and terrifying this time is....my family were the same and my two children drove me to distraction through their fear of losing me:cry: I stayed strong...I had too...and I'm so glad I did as I really do believe the op saved my life and not for one millisecond do I ever regret my decision.
Stay positive love
as I lay in my hospital bed the night before my op I wrote my sister a letter as she is the one person I'd like to raise my children should the worst have happened....this was a harrowing exercise and I knew if I started writing the kids letters I'd have got up and walked out...then I'd be here 6 months later, still really ill weighing 6 stone more and life being unbearable
Your family will be finding it difficult to talk to you about it as they will be scared right now just as you are....to them its elective surgery...to you its the last chance.....if you need to talk pm me we can swap emails/numbers etc
You are not alone
All my love
Listen coming from someone who has been where you are now and doesn't regret it for a minute, I know exactly how lonely and terrifying this time is....my family were the same and my two children drove me to distraction through their fear of losing me:cry: I stayed strong...I had too...and I'm so glad I did as I really do believe the op saved my life and not for one millisecond do I ever regret my decision.
Stay positive love
as I lay in my hospital bed the night before my op I wrote my sister a letter as she is the one person I'd like to raise my children should the worst have happened....this was a harrowing exercise and I knew if I started writing the kids letters I'd have got up and walked out...then I'd be here 6 months later, still really ill weighing 6 stone more and life being unbearableYour family will be finding it difficult to talk to you about it as they will be scared right now just as you are....to them its elective surgery...to you its the last chance.....if you need to talk pm me we can swap emails/numbers etc
You are not alone
All my love
kandy
Silver Member
Hi Zoe,
Thank you so much its really good of you, i know how busy you are right now.
Love julie xxx
Hi DQ,
It's no good showing this to hubby as i always have to be the strong one . So unfortunately i sit here at nigt unravelling in front of the computer its my release. I still aint coping to well but trying to keep it together.
Love Julie xxx
Thanks for caring xxx
Thank you so much its really good of you, i know how busy you are right now.
Love julie xxx
Hi DQ,
It's no good showing this to hubby as i always have to be the strong one . So unfortunately i sit here at nigt unravelling in front of the computer its my release. I still aint coping to well but trying to keep it together.
Love Julie xxx
Thanks for caring xxx
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
I can't really, truly appreciate what you're going through - I can only imagine.
Sending you hugs and all the positive vibes I can muster
xx
Sending you hugs and all the positive vibes I can muster
xx
kandy
Silver Member
Hi Debbie,
Thanks they are greatly recieved . xxx
Well today has been a bit more positive i have had my 1st successful day on the protein diet which is not to strict now i have got my head around it .
In fact i dont know why they call it the protein diet because i can have carbs . It's just butter oil alcohol crisps sweets cakes biscuits chips anything containing saturated fat or sugar that i cant eat. Which leaves alot to play with, now i have stopped panicking .
This is not to lose weight, just to make the liver more pliable so they can flip it out the way when they go in with there weapons of mass dissection lol !
Feeling positive at the moment, and appreciate you all for holding my hand when i need it!
Lotsa love Julie xxxx
Thanks they are greatly recieved . xxx
Well today has been a bit more positive i have had my 1st successful day on the protein diet which is not to strict now i have got my head around it .
In fact i dont know why they call it the protein diet because i can have carbs . It's just butter oil alcohol crisps sweets cakes biscuits chips anything containing saturated fat or sugar that i cant eat. Which leaves alot to play with, now i have stopped panicking .
This is not to lose weight, just to make the liver more pliable so they can flip it out the way when they go in with there weapons of mass dissection lol !
Feeling positive at the moment, and appreciate you all for holding my hand when i need it!
Lotsa love Julie xxxx
DQ
Queen of the Damned
kandy
Silver Member
Well obviously spoke to soon i am on a huge emotional binge (in my head) i havent succumbed as i could of but needless to say i have cheated i am so unhinged at the moment its untrue i know deep down i am doing the right thing .
It's like i am a baby and need constant reassurance that i am doing the right thing .
Note to ones self !!!!! JULIE GROW UP !!!!!!!!
Anyway self indulgent rant over tomorrow is a new day .
Gotta get my head in the game ( oh dear all gone a little bit high school musical there)
I am 2 weeks pre-op tomorrow so i need to sort myself out deep breaths and sort out what i need to take.
Love Julie xxx
It's like i am a baby and need constant reassurance that i am doing the right thing .
Note to ones self !!!!! JULIE GROW UP !!!!!!!!
Anyway self indulgent rant over tomorrow is a new day .
Gotta get my head in the game ( oh dear all gone a little bit high school musical there)
I am 2 weeks pre-op tomorrow so i need to sort myself out deep breaths and sort out what i need to take.
Love Julie xxx
westiegirl
Gold Member
Found you!
Thank you for your lovely comments on my thread.
Darling, I am sending you bestest and biggest hugs in the world. I can't imagine what you must be feeling like and I am sorry that you feel like you are alone. It might not be much, but you know we are all here for you don't you.
:hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99:
Thank you for your lovely comments on my thread.
Darling, I am sending you bestest and biggest hugs in the world. I can't imagine what you must be feeling like and I am sorry that you feel like you are alone. It might not be much, but you know we are all here for you don't you.
:hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99::hug99:
kandy
Silver Member
Hi Sarah,
Thank you hunny, your a love.
Today i am full of mixed emotions again i feel ok but have eaten things i know i shouldnt which gives me that guilt feeling unfortunately.
I know it will be better for me to eat properly as 2 weeks today they will be carving me up but i also know that up until about 5 or 6 mths ago my surgeon never requested a patient to diet at all if there bmi was less than 50 ( mine is 44.6) so i feel its not desperate other people have had this surgery and binged for a solid month before and been fine.
Obviously everyone is different .
Working in a cafe is so not helping today we were stacked out all day so i waited and waited and waited until i felt like passing out then grabbed some choc (doh!)
Because i know that Dr D has operated on others without any diet i didnt panic as i have been, so 1 bar didnt turn into 4 !
I hope when i have the op i look back on this and think "man was i nuts" but hope i dont look back and think "man somethings never change"
Julie XXXX
Thank you hunny, your a love.
Today i am full of mixed emotions again i feel ok but have eaten things i know i shouldnt which gives me that guilt feeling unfortunately.
I know it will be better for me to eat properly as 2 weeks today they will be carving me up but i also know that up until about 5 or 6 mths ago my surgeon never requested a patient to diet at all if there bmi was less than 50 ( mine is 44.6) so i feel its not desperate other people have had this surgery and binged for a solid month before and been fine.
Obviously everyone is different .
Working in a cafe is so not helping today we were stacked out all day so i waited and waited and waited until i felt like passing out then grabbed some choc (doh!)
Because i know that Dr D has operated on others without any diet i didnt panic as i have been, so 1 bar didnt turn into 4 !
I hope when i have the op i look back on this and think "man was i nuts" but hope i dont look back and think "man somethings never change"
Julie XXXX
kandy
Silver Member
Hiya DQ,Thanks sweetie, good to know your there x
Well diet is terrible i have been on the mother of all sugar binges, bad julie !
Just got home from work to e-mails from my surgeon reminding me not long to go now and i should be scrubbing down with aquasept everyday and taking arnica hmmm...
Today i have been trying to stay positive, even though i know i am all over the place what has gotten in to me !
I started to eat a toffee crisp today and thought stop this could kill you when they operate ( resorting to scare tactics now
) and i actually thought to myself what the hell it tastes so fine no helping that kind of mentality is there !The problem is i know that a few months ago my surgeon didnt feel that patients with a bmi of less than 50 need diet preop (mines 44.6) so i think its ok then surely !
I think my mind doesn't understand what is happening its like the CD restart ( i will start tomorrow) and a bad bout of last mealitus the date for my surgery came through so quickly i havent had time to straighten it all out in my head.
I know its what i want more than anything but its become a distant goal and in reality its not as distant as i thought .
This is a ramble of gigantic proportions so time out i think
Mucho love to all kind enough to enter Julie XXXX
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