Kats cambridge diary - first timer

Hiya!
You're doing so well, and good luck for today's weigh in, I'm sure you will see a great result :)
I know what you mean about sticking to it for a month, I'm on day 91 today - I still can't believe I've been 100% for 91 days. I remember looking at myself in the mirror on day 2, almost ready to give up.
I was like ... roll on Day 20, it seems forever away, but I just stayed positive and here I am 91 days later feeling amazing.
I still have a lot of weight to loose, but I'm almost half way there. STICK IN! We can do this "^_"^
 
thanks minus

I have just been weighed and lost 8lbs - so that takes my total to 33lbs now, I am so happy, its only been 4 weeks, 28 days.

i see we have a similar start weight. well done for getting under 19, i understand what a massive hurdle that is, my celebrating will start when i see the number 17 somewhere in my numbers. i got to 18 and a half last year and then gave up so it will mean the world to me to get to under 18.

I do occasionally have a slice of ham or a boiled egg, but on those days i dont have my 4th shake. I dont think its affecting my losses at all though.
 
thanks minus

I have just been weighed and lost 8lbs - so that takes my total to 33lbs now, I am so happy, its only been 4 weeks, 28 days.

i see we have a similar start weight. well done for getting under 19, i understand what a massive hurdle that is, my celebrating will start when i see the number 17 somewhere in my numbers. i got to 18 and a half last year and then gave up so it will mean the world to me to get to under 18.

I do occasionally have a slice of ham or a boiled egg, but on those days i dont have my 4th shake. I dont think its affecting my losses at all though.

I started at 22 stone 10 lbs eeeek :/
I can't really remember the last time I was in the 17's, so getting there will make me super happy! Fingers crossed in a few weeks hehee
I had my weigh in last night and down 5 which brings me to 4 stone 3 lbs loss, BUT .... I'm still wearing the same clothes, it's so weird. And really annoying and sometimes gets me down, but I just keep thinking to myself, "Remember why you're doing this"...
I got measured last week and i've lost many inches, but grrrrrrr bring me down a clothes size! My tops are not even lose on me, and my jacket is still tight around my arms, ugh, I shouldn't moan!
So I'm hoping when I get to the 17's, I will at least be down a size YESSS!

This week I've been just having the 3 shakes a day, but the previous 12 weeks i've been on Step 3 / 2, so been having lots of fresh grilled fish with green veg.
It's my birthday in a few weeks, so I will prob stick with the 3 a day until then, then go back to Step 2 as my weight losses on step 2 have been pretty good :)

Ham slices or boiled egg is ok to snack on, it could be a lot worse "^_^"
 
Tonight I can't stop eating pumpkin seeds. So I only had 2 shakes today. Well done on your 4 stone 3. Like me getting into 17s is a big deal. Can't wait til I get to a 4 stone loss. I also am shrinking but no change in dress size. My tummy is a nightmare and I have mentally prepared myself for the fact that there won't be a difference until I have lost at least 5 stone. It's depressing but at least I am heading in the right direction. I just hope I can keep my focus and motivation. I need to remember why I'm doing this lol.
 
feeling positive today, dont know why lol. i have already had my 2 litres of water and its not even midday. I am going to my inlaws this weekend and everyone is going out for a meal, so im not entirely looking forward to that, I have volunteered to babysit the wee babies instead of going to the restaurant, this is more important to me than my mother in laws birthday meal - so there. I am making a profiterole tower for my mother in laws birthday cake, i love baking so i usually offer to do it, i made 101 profiteroles for it, i will post a pic when its done.

trying to get on with my writing, my new found focus on my diet has actually helped me to get my focus back on my book, I am around 50k words into it and I just have another 30k to do, it sounds like a lot but once you get going its not really. so today i am trying to write my outline for it, its hard because ihave done the easy bits and now i need to do the complicated stuff. when i went for the meal with the people who read my first 3 chapters they said it was really good and tense and I just needed to tweak a few things and so thats what i am trying to do. writing is just something that comes to me, its something i have wanted to be for a long time, mainly because i live in my own head. I really hope i finish this, i will use the diet and the book to distract from each other and then i will always have a source of procrastination in one or the other.

anyway back to the grindstone, almost time for my first shake. laytaz!
 
Hi kat
I found your diary through Bev's page. You are doing incredibly well and write really well and honestly. It's no surprise to find you are writing a book.

I feel very sad when I read the story of your childhood and that you weren't really allowed to be a child. I have recently done a really lovely course on Compassion Focussed Therapy and a lot of us were able to remember times when our parenting, or lack of it, forced us to take too much responsibility. The course gave us ways to go back and comfort and soothe that child that is still in us all, while still being compassionate to our parents who were doing the best that they could. It was based very much on this approach although not exclusively about overeating. We had to write a letter telling our lifestory but with compassion towards ourselves. I noticed that you are able to do that in the way you told your story. Also currently reading a book designed for therapists but which talks again very compassionately about the issues and reasons we stay overweight. The body armour aspect I read about only this morning. As you say, there are many reasons to stay fat, even if that seems ridiculous to us and to others.

I just wanted to share that although I don't know you and share a very different childhood, I know those feelings and I also know that those of us who are curious about ourselves will find a way through it. Good luck.
 
Thank you so much first off for reading my post menstrual venting lol. Secondly thanks for "understanding" what I was trying to say in my ramblings. I do try to be compassionate towards myself because I know I wouldn't judge anyone else for being through what I have been through. I did however spend a long time "afraid" of moving forwards, now I'm ready to move on and try be who I was supposed to be all along.
 
Really struggling, have eaten some bits of ham but I'm at my in-laws, they have all gone out for Chinese dinner. So I'm stuck here and all I can think of is food. Going to drink a ton of water and see if it helps
 
Really struggling, have eaten some bits of ham but I'm at my in-laws, they have all gone out for Chinese dinner. So I'm stuck here and all I can think of is food. Going to drink a ton of water and see if it helps


Stay strong honey! The momentary pleasure you'll get will be way outweighed by the regret. The food will still be there when you're slim, you don't need it now, you need to look after yourself and keep going.

You've done so so well up until now, just think how proud you'll feel tomorrow when you've stayed on plan.
 
Really struggling, have eaten some bits of ham but I'm at my in-laws, they have all gone out for Chinese dinner. So I'm stuck here and all I can think of is food. Going to drink a ton of water and see if it helps

How you doing katsparkle? Hope you stayed strong!
 
Not really although I stayed carb free, but there was a huge chunk of roast lamb that I couldn't resist. Didn't eat anything with it just meat, so at least I am still in ketosis. Just be glad when easter holidays are over
 
As long as you were carb free it probably won't make too much difference, when is your next weigh in?
 
I've cheated too recently Kat. At least you've been sensible and picked protein. I picked cake and it was delicious and just what I needed however weigh in tomorrow and I doubt it will show a change and if it does I'm sure it will be up! Having a horrendous time just now and thinking about food more than ever but I'm trying to stay strong!
 
Hi Poko

Looking at your stats and you've done so so well, don't give up now! At your current rate you probably only have 4/5 more weeks til target and food just isn't worth it for those 4/5 weeks.

A bit of cake is only a failure if you give up now. Otherwise its just a bump in the road - you'll know better next time!
 
well i was really ill this morning, terrible tummy ache and even water sent me running to the loo. i feel really bloated and sensitive. I have been totally 100% today and it feels good. i kept picking at things last week and this week i wont do that. I lost 1 pound this week at my weigh in but to be honest i feel like i am carrying a ton of water due to this tummy upset, its a bug thats going around. anyway if anything it has made me more determined to have a 100% week. i dont regret eating the meat it was awesome, although this weekend we have been invited out again but i am not going to go
 
growing up i had this cousin and we were always kind of similar, but when she was about 22 she lost all her weight and has managed to keep it off forever. i just saw a pic of her on fb and it pissed me off lol. i wasnt annoyed with her but with myself. i have wasted so much time and now i am HHHHUGE and i have so much weight to lose it seems completely insurmountable i have already done well on this i just hope i can stick it out. i was so jealous, she wont have the hideous skin problems that i am looking at when i have lost weight. why did i let myself get like this? grrrr
 
water flavourings! who knew? I just had my first orange one, it was well nice, so glad i decided to buy them, i was drinking coke zero as a flavour but actually i like this just as much, yesterday was 100% literally nothing non cambridge passed my lips, and today i am going to go for the same, I am looking forward to my weigh in next week, i think its going to be a good one! i had a shocking one this week. so its even more motivation to get fully ON IT again, I am kind of glad i ate a load of lamb on sunday though lol, i mean, it was delicious, I am glad that i didnt waste it on chocolate or something i dont like, thats what scares me the most, cheating on this with stuff i am not even bothered with, because thats what got me to where i am, just eating crap because i knew it was bad for me, constant self sabatoge but disguised as rewards for myself, rewards for what? I dont know. anyway, water flavourings are nice
 
Just think positive katsparkle! You'll probably find you have an extra big loss next week from losing all your bloat and then you'll be extra motivated to keep going! At least you're learning about your food choices and recognising a binge on stuff you don't even like isnt worth it. I do exactly the same so you're not alone, but hopefully going forward neither of us will repeat the same patterns!
 
yeah jo exactly. i totally need to break the pattern. i am sat at a table with 7 easter eggs on it, mini eggs, maltesers, m&m, flake etc before i would just eat them, right now im not evebn noticing it. im not a massive fan of chocolate
 
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