kaz`s diary

[MadamDotty]

Aww Kaz that's tough, but they are the morons and you are the lovely, warm, funny caring lady that IS doing something about her weight and is succeeding and is staying strong when faced with a zillion temptations. Feel proud of what you'r doing Kaz and what you're doing well.

2 stone isn't nothing, it's a fantastic achievement and even though you may still have a way to go, each and every day you are getting smaller and getting closer to your goal. As Jane rightly said you will stop looking overweight long before you get to goal and you'll be amazed at how soon people will say to you - oh you don't need to carry on dieting, you look great. Honestly, it will happen sooner than you think

Keep your chin up, keep smiling and don't let remarks from stupid little boys get you down, they're not worth it and you're better than that.

If you ever fancy a chat, glass of water or go for a walk or something, I'm only up the road and it'd be great to get together.

Take care of yourself and all the best for your weigh-in.

xxxxx

 

[RachelA]

Hiya Kaz,

Ditto what everyone else said, they are morons :whoopass:who will have a much harder time changing their attitude (not that they probably see anything wrong with it) then you will in changing your body!
Look at how well you have done so far and I'm sure you are feeling much better, I know I do even after a couple of days.
I know our self esteem/self image is a fragile thing and it only takes one horrible comment to crush us albeit not for long, but this will get better with time (and all the help on here)!!
Keep up the fantastic work!arty0011:

 

[kazbro]

Well yip fuffing heeee
yep as i guessed 1lb back on :ashamed0005:

wouldn`t mind so much if i had of stuffed me face all week

hey ho

onwards and downwards as they say

my cdc julie god bless her she looked a stressed as i did
if you read this julie here`s a hug just for you. you know what i`m on about mate

well new day tomorrow so hopefully these pounds will shift again
no good weeping over today just a glitch that will be behind me come day break

right off to make me shake and stay positive

kaz

 

[kazbro]

week 8
day 1

well new day today new positive me
seem to have done nothing but winge this week so shutting up now and getting on with the diet
finished aamw so back to ss and i do feel very good about this

got lots of jobs to do today so buisy buisy me
i`m in a very happy mood

long may it stay aswell

last night was spent wrapping presents for no:2 son
he`s 14 today

happy birthday antony
xxxxxxxx

we are going to burger king for his tea, his choice,
of course i will be having a black coffee while they eat.
doesn`t bother me places like mcdonalds or bk

the only thing i still fancy is marmite on toast :giggle:
when i get half way (15stone) i have promised myself 2slices as treat

cant qiute get my head round the gain this week but its now yesterdays news and must carry on forward

well 1st shake of the day here i come
think i`ll start with chocolate today

kaz

 

[RachelA]

well new day today new positive me
seem to have done nothing but winge this week so shutting up now and getting on with the diet
finished aamw so back to ss and i do feel very good about this

the only thing i still fancy is marmite on toast :giggle:
when i get half way (15stone) i have promised myself 2slices as treat

kaz

Good on you for getting on with it, I know how down you can feel after a gain however small but it was aam week after all!! SS'ing is such a relief isnt it?!

Marmite, oh ny god, I drool at the smell!! Thank god we have none left in the house!!

Have you joined the June challenge by the way? It seems to be keeping me motivated thank god!

 

[natayou]

HEY KAZZ
just trying to do the rounds and catch up with you all, its taking ages to do all the threads

sorry about the wonkers at the cake shelf, pathetic losers with small willies, i know the feeling so well, lump in throat tears in eyes, its so unfair.......anyway enuf negativity
good on ya for taking the aam on the chin, its not too bad really, bet the weight will woosh of this week mate!
your little girl is so flippin cute, that little outfit, love the matching bracelet awww i miss all that stuff, my little girl is nearly 8 and way too 'cool' for all that stuff now, its all converse and dkny nowadays:sigh:

she used to love dressing up in disney princess dresses and clippy cloppy heels

have a great day
nat xx

 

[minilady]

Hiya Kaz

What a shitty time you've had my friend!

As for the lads at the cake counter, you will lose this weight and change, they will always be rude, inconsiderate and probably downright pig ugly!!!

Sorry to hear that AAM hasn't gone well either, it always felt to me that having no choice was so much easier than having some choice! Your a strong woman and determined, I know you'll be fine and back on track.

Only you feel that your ugly etc. We all think your beautiful, inside and out

Tracey
x

 

[kazbro]

what a great bunch of friends you are
i`m really touched by all the nice comments

i`ve done so well today
been drinking me water and had 2 shakes now

we`re all going to burger king tonight for antony`s b day so i am taking a tetra with me and might try it in one of there coffees
told all the boys i`m back on ss again and if they see me cheat (haven`t done yet) to yell at me :giggle:

i`ve got my confidence back and my fighting spirit
i will succeed :queen:
i will get slimmer
i will stick to ss :superwoman:
i will let negative comments go over my head
i will not cheat:innocent0002:
i will not get down and fed uparty0011:
i will not give in till i`m at goal:character00115:

 

[kazbro]

week 8
day 2

51 days
that`s how long i`ve been on cd
seems to have flown by
pretty chuffed with myself, any obstacles i`ve hit i have dealt with them by other methods, instead of racing to the fridge

might rename myself mother teresa :innocent0002: :giggle:

going strictly back to ss after aamw has been a breeze and i much prefer no food to little plate fulls.. it`s just easier than seeing food in front of me

think i got a problem later on where food is concerned but i`ll tackle that when the time comes. thats what the plans are for to introduce a healthier eating regime.

going to cosford air show on sunday, have my tetras to take with me, i`m prepared now so no side tracking to the burger vans

step son has just turned up from tt races
he was there for 2 weeks he did some marshalling
glad he`s home safe

well shake no:1 here i come

kaz

 

[MadamDotty]

Hey Mother Theresa

Glad to hear you so upbeat and back with a fighting spirit - you go girl

 

[kazbro]

Bless you my child


dotty i am feeling bloody fantastic
just done all my garden
even done some digging
am now showerd and feeling great
off to get the boys from school in a minute so a nice walk for me and gemma

love it on ss now
i may sound nuts but i definetly feel better and so looking forward to the next 4 weeks before food

kaz

 

[jane]

loved your last post.well done.
I spent a bit of time this am writing stuff inreplyto your posts of lastcouple of days,but then instead pressing send I pressedto turn off the computer& lost it all.

wiltry again tonight eventhough it looks as if you're out of your low mood & whizzing again!
I really find these modern computey things hard work. It's only a few weeks ago that I accidently potsed my diary entry on Starlights thread. She was v polite about it,posted it back to me then because she's a moderator deleted it from her own thread.

 

[kazbro]

week 8
day 3

lovely and warm here already
got on the scales this morning and they have definetly shifted downwards but i am not going to attempt fate i will see what cd`s scales say wednesday

have some friends visiting today so will be entertaining for the afternoon

nothing much else planned today, just going to chill and take a slow paced day

got the air show tomorrow so that`ll be fun, must remember to find the sun lotion as i do go very red in the sun

still feeling on top of the world and very very happy

have a great day all

kaz

 

[jane]

thanks jane
to be honest i`m angry and ashamed at myself
as we say why did we ever get to this size
i cant really answer that, years of heartaches and comfort eating is all i can come up with
i will succeed and i will be healthier just sad that society knocks us back so often while on this journey
Ok Caz,lecture coming up.this is the short (hopefully) firey version of my 'lost post'.

To me the most important thing in life are your chidren. I am & was prepared to make all manner of sacrifices inorder to get where I am today. My guess is that You were too.

Some people (though actually fairly few in my exprience) have children like shelling peas. For the rest of us it's B****y had work. Infertility, miscarriage, difficult pregnancies, dangerous labours ,stillbirth, infant death, marital breakdown, postnatal depression.. etc. & that's before you even set about the work of nursing them & all that entails.
Your history of repeated miscarriage is distressing to read, we couldn't imagine trying to live through it. As a consequence your battle scars are borne as fat.
Desireable?..no, but utterly understandable.

You now have 4 (um ?5..sorry brain slip) healthy kids & a lovely H.

Now you are in a position to tackle the weight , & readjust your relationship with food. Ths is precisely what you are doing.
Keep it up. Now is the time to look after you own health & wellbeing.

what the morons dont see is me sitting with my coffee when gemma has her mcdonalds or
me sitting with my iced water while alan sips his cider and munches pork scratchings in the pub.....& that is precisely why they are morons.
that to me is achievement
takes a hell of alot to say no to these temptations but i do it
really gives me a boost when i walk away knowing i didn`t cheat and give in to the voices....& every time you do it you establish more strongly who is the boss: You Vs the little voice.



as gloria gaynor would say
"I WILL SURVIVE" arty0049:arty0049:arty0049:arty0049:.I think you will do more than just survive.

kaz

Well yip fuffing heeee
yep as i guessed 1lb back on :ashamed0005:Kaz, 1lb is OK SSing it'll be gone as soon as write it down
kaz

week 8
day 1

well new day today new positive me
seem to have done nothing but winge this week so shutting up now and getting on with the diet
finished aamw so back to ss and i do feel very good about this

got lots of jobs to do today so buisy buisy me
i`m in a very happy mood

long may it stay aswell.
That's the ticket.Keep it up!
kaz

Only you feel that your ugly etc. We all think your beautiful, inside and out...I agree with minilady.

Tracey
x

week 8
day 2



think i got a problem later on where food is concerned but i`ll tackle that when the time comes. thats what the plans are for to introduce a healthier eating regime.
My advice is to practise with food again when you're 1) feeling confident & detemined & 2) when you've lost enough that an accidental 1lb regain won't be so distressing. Personally I went for an AAm night, then W/E etc.As I see it every AAM meal that is done by the rules is a little bit of re-learning & if you CDC & Gp are happy to forego the full Week-AAm for a bit it can't do any harm.(If what I've just said goes against true CD teaching then I'm happy to be spanked by the smiley & put right.)


step son has just turned up from tt races
he was there for 2 weeks he did some marshalling
glad he`s home safe that must be a relief. Motorbike racing gives me the willies,but better marshalling than competing

kaz

Bless you my child


dotty i am feeling bloody fantastic
just done all my garden
even done some digging
am now showerd and feeling great
off to get the boys from school in a minute so a nice walk for me and gemma

love it on ss now
i may sound nuts but i definetly feel better and so looking forward to the next 4 weeks before food

kaz

That's the ticket!!!!!!!!!

 

[kazbro]

week 8
day4

morning all
off to cosford in an hour
sandwiches are made
drinks are chilled
i have packed a choc tetra and 4 litres of water

found the sun cream so no coming back looking like a lobster
had a bit of a battle with the little vopices last night took me an hour but i won
had an episode of i feel hungry voices then it was no your not, yes you are but it past and the voices fell asleep leaving me to watch dr who in peace with my shake

i actually love it when they chat to me because after the battle i feel so good for not giving in so happy happy faces here again today

right best get gemma up she is still asleep, have a fun day all

kaz

 

[kazbro]

week 8
day 5

morning all
had a great day yesterday
walked loads and not once did i complain my legs ached or i was to hot
had my tetra and about 3litres of my water
have to admit i did needed the loo about 8 times and the loos were a good walk away
good exercise though
looking a bit tanned today, i`m normally pale with bright red cheeks but got a healthy glow today

off to town soon to buy antonys new mobile, a late birthday pressy for him

meeting no:1 son hes got his last exam today then thats him finished school.

lovley day here again so making the most of the weather as were are due heavy rain thursday

still feeling happy and positive

kaz xx

 

[minilady]

Hi Kaz

Glad you had a lovely day yesterday and that the chipper you is back in full swing

You are doing so well, I am so pleased for you. You deserve to feel happy and confident, your an inspiration for all the newbies on the site, I hope they all read your diary. It's honest and informative, and of course at times very funny

Your a star!!!!

Tracey
x

 

[kazbro]

awww

mini

i do struggle sometimes, it is hard on ss but you have to keep telling yourself why you are doing it

i spent the last 20mins reading all of my diary and am feeling chuffed with myself
i have come a long way and there have been times when i could of qiute easily of said sod it

to you aswell jane
you are right i have had a crap few years amnd food was my comfort but now we are all happy here i can focus and do this for me

i say this often but i will do this and i mean it i will get slimmer and fitter

thanks to all you ladies who give me encouragement

 

[Nessa]

Hi Kaz

Just read through your diary and you have come such a long way! I cant wait until i get back off holiday and start my plan, that's all that i can think of.

You are really doing great and i am behind you 100%

See you in your forum soon!

Nessa
x

 

[jane]

How nice it is to hear you all happy again.

Keep it up, next W/I will be much better than the last & that'll be a spur too.