Kez's struggles and troubles! 17th June Restart!

hiya kez

back on CD :D day 2 almost over, you must be relieved.

i'm trying to be totally focused which isn't easy when the weight is being stubborn. anyway writing it down and calorie counting is great. i find that whenever i eat bread it lays really heavy on my tummy and i hate it. it's like having a brick there. life is so much easier when you do a shake, eat a bar etc. food just makes you think and agonise. my skin is just a complete greasy spoon at the moment as is my hair. i hate it. i think part of the reason is my exercise and sweating. partly i think my hormones are playing me up. thinking of stopping the depo injection and trying something else but not sure what as i'm useless at taking tablets and will end up forgetting and i DO NOT want a 3rd child.

i'm hosting a dinner party tomorrow night and i'm papping myself. hoping that it goes well and that i have enough time to prep with the kids about. i won't get home til after 4pm and then have to feed the kids, put them to bed etc. the party starts at 7.30pm. been out tonight to get the stuff so that i can go running with my new baby jogger performance (aka the beast) tomorrow.

cd should make you sleep better anyway. i always slept brilliantly when on ss or ss+ nowadays i wake at daft times like 5.30am and can't get back off. sometimes if this happens i lay there and come 6am i get up and go for a run.
 
Hey hun, thanks for this morning!! I messed up again today but I've given myself a stern talking to and I'm going to start again tomorrow. I'm going to take it an hour at a time and I am going to do it this time!! I don't blame you for holding off on CD til after your finals, it's one less thing to have to think about.

Good luck with your exams chick, you'll do fine!!! Sending you some positive exam vibes xxxxxxx
 
Hope you`re having a good week! x
 
r u having a tough time and staying away???? you know if you come on here we can help you over your hurdles. we've all been through it.

i'm going to try the 810 tomorrow. just 3.5lbs to go. want it off next week. then i think i'll die a death..... well not sure what to do when i get to goal as life will never be the same, always hungry, always craving. going to go and see the nurse at the docs and see if i can change my contraceptive thing as i think it's really affecting me badly. i wasn't this bad last time - bad in feeling hungry.
 
Kez is revising for her finals for the next couple of days, so she's probably not going to be around much until afterwards xxx
 
Hey girlies, I'm still about, have locked myself away to do nothing but revise till the exam Thursday morning. Have spent all day revising, got another solid day of it tomorrow.

I was crap at the weekend, binged big time. Ate everything and everything in sight and then went to the shop and got some more. Just don't know what to do to get over the whole binging habit! Even wanted to make myself chuck up because I felt so digusted with myself. But it's ok, I didn't and wouldn't. That's rediculous, but I do feel like a failed bulemic..lol! I've mastered the first part.

I wasn't prepared to battle ketosis till after the final, so I may not be about until Thursday evening.

Hope everyone else is doing well, I'll catch up soon. xxx
 
Good luck for your exam and getting back on track x
 
Thanks all, I should be upstairs revising not down here watching the soaps and on the laptop, but I think my brain has overloaded. Just hopefully it is all still fresh in the morning!

I had a snooze this afternoon, so think I might get a shower in a bit to wake me up and go do a few more hours then go to bed! The dogs usually wake me up at about half 5 when my neighbour takes them for a walk with his dog. Usually I go back to sleep but tomorrow I imagine I'll be wide awake. I've been feeling so positive, but now starting to doubt whether I've done enough...oh well can only go in and hope that the stuff I know comes up in the questions!

Need to get this out of the way so that I can start focusing on what I really want to do! This exam will make me a qualified accountant, which is the career path I took because I'm good at it and I figured it was as good as any.

I always wanted to work with horses, but there are very few jobs in the horsey world that pay well and the ones that are there, are incredibly sought after. I always planned to do something like horse nutrition for a big feed manufacturer or something like blood testing on a raceyard or alternative therapys. Anyway, due to me being a pretty messed up teenager, I ended up mucking up my a-levels that would get me my degree and ended up working in a finance office and that's how I ended up where I am today!

About a year ago I signed up to an equine science degree distance learning, with the plans to complete that and then do a masters in Mctimoney animal manipulation, which would basically make me an animal chiropractor, specialising in horses.

Well down in the South West of england there are only 3 qualified Mctimoney practitioners and I pay the one who treats my horses £45 an hour and she is always booked up for months in advance.

Don't get me wrong, I'm looking at another 8 years at least of study, another £25k in fees and even then once I'm qualified it'll take a good couple of years of case studies and evening/weekend work to build up enough clients to be able to give up my current day job!

So basically my bigger plan at the moment is to get this final exam passed, lose 3 stone by November when I am going to Malta for a weeks business conference (read that as jolly), then lose another 3 stone before my wedding in July, then either maintain that or lose some more by the end of 2011 so I can back my beautiful horse myself and master my skills with horses from horseback as well as on the ground.

With all that in mind, tomorrow is day 1 again, but I am also going to wipe my signature and tickers and start from scrathc with no goals! Just day by day.
 
Hi chick.. I really feel for you with all that studying, but the long term goals really do outweigh these hard days right now.. it'll be so worth it when you qualify hun..

My brother is an accountant, took him a while at college, and Uni and now works for Natwest.. My mum has loved horses and got her 1st one on her 40th birthday, it was her Baby, then another when Patrick had to be put to sleep as he was so poorly, she didn't want another horse as she was so upset.. but then came Astra and she was back on the saddle again and then had a fall.. so arthritus took hold.. but she now teaches RDA, and also teaches Instructors too and as she is still around horses, she's in her element. Things happen for a reason.. and she as meant to be in that job.

I think the same with you.. with your determination, you'll have those jobs and really enjoy them. So a few months, a cpl of years studying..nothing compared to years of working a job that you love :)

Like the idea of comp wiping slate clean and starting fresh too. Debating whether to go to bed early, OH is out getting drunk, lol.. his 30th anniversary at his work (Broker) and his company have put on a party for him, so won't see til midnight and then I'll be in the land of nodd then ;). xx
 
Hi nikki, thanks for popping in. I've been slack on posting up on others diaries, once tomorrow is over things will get back to normal.

Yep, I figure even with another 10 years of work towards my goal, I'll only be 35 and will still have 30 years of doing something or doing something I enjoy ahead of me and will be able to pick my hours, work it around having kids and maybe even one day be able to afford my own house! Miracles may happen! lol
 
Morning Hun hope your exam goes well. I think it's great that you've got those career dreams!! If you want something badly enough you'll achieve it. When I first started out in my career I never imagined I'd be doing what I'm doing now, only doctors used to do it back then but after years of hard work I'm doing it too!! Ha ha I sound like an old bag, I've only just turned 31 so whilemy body clock is ticking loudly at least my career is where I want it to be, so it can be done!! And all the studying you're doing now is the building blocks.

As for the diet just take it slowly, I'm definitely finding it easier to stick to SS than SS+ so that's the way forward for me, see how long I can last and how much I can lose!!
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Afternoon! Well I am feeling more positive about the examnow, I can't do anything to change it anyway, but have been on the exam forum boards and people seem to be quoting familiar figures! I am confident I got all my calculation correct, just not sure how I've done on the wordie parts? I tend to waffle for pages without ever getting to the point. Just hope I've done enough!

So, diet wise. All I've had today is 2 black coffee's so even though I haven't yet decided to go CD, I haven't done anything outside of CD either. I tried calling my CDC 3 times and not getting any answers, I wanted to go see her tonight to swap my shakes for tetras, if I don't get hold of her I might just go drop in anyway.

I don't think I want to be weighed. I might tell her I don't want to know until I am back to where I was when I finished CD before. Because it won't be new weight loss, I'll only be going over old ground!

Also, I am going to go and see her every Monday and Thursday and only pick up enough products to get me through to the next weigh in rather than a weeks worth. I know I always break on Day 3, so by visiting her twice a week, Day 3 will always be very close to a WI and will hopefully stop me from breaking! Also, I will HAVE to go to WI to get my products, so none of this, 'It's ok, I'll fix the damage I do by WI'.
 
Kez that's a genius plan!! Hopefully that'll help. I've been exactly the same, thinking I can pull it back in time for WI. I usually mess about after WI until Saturday, then panic and try to be good until Wed WI. But not anymore.

Day 4 is my danger day, so tomorrow I'm going to have to be extra careful!! I've been okay today, spent this afternoon sitting in the back garden in the sun, drinking water!

I hope you get sorted with your CDC and get your tetra's. I've got a fridge full of them from when I had my couple of weeks off. I've also got so many packets of shakes I could start my own CD business lol. I didn't get any last week because I had so many but I daren't admit to my CDC just how many spares I have actually got. I'll probably end up giving a couple of weeks worth to my mum when she gets back from her holidays.

Good luck with the start. xx
 
Thanks hun, not been very good. Ony had 2 black coffees and a banana tetra today. Not enough CD or any water at all! I couldn't get an answer from my CDC, tried calling all afternoon and evening so I'm guessing she must be on holiday or something? The next chance I have to see her is Monday. Got enough shakes to last till then, I just don't like the shakes!
 
how are you making the shakes? is that the reason you don't like them or is it the taste you don't like?

i've also got quite a bit left. i'm having 3 this week and skipping lunch and staying around 1000cals. i tried to do the 810 but i was just far too hungry!

hope your exams went/goes well.
 
Treat them as 'Skinny Medicine' for now. I did that when I had flavours that I didn't like and couldn't change. Tell yourself it's medicine that'll make you thin. It might work for a little bit. xx
 
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