cornishkez
Gold Member
Ahhh, thanks Olive! I think as much as wanting to lose the weight quickly, I don't want CD to become yet another failed diet to the long list.
Kez's struggles and troubles! 17th June Restart!
- Thread starter cornishkez
- Start date
cornishkez
Gold Member
I think I should to! I have slowly been gee-ing myself up all day to make the decision. I have still got my appointment with my CDC tomoz, so am going to go along, but I am not going to weigh as I know I will have put on with the gluttenous couple of days I've had and it won't do anything for my motivation. Better to just pick up my supplies and go back the following week!
hi kez. it seems to me like you are just not in the right head space to do any diet right now. you have to stop changing 'diets' not cos of people getting fed up of you, but for YOU. its not good for you physically or mentally to stop and start. also, dont do it for anyone but yourself and dont lose yourself. from my own experience i can say hand on heart that cd is the hardest diet i hae ever done, but i was lost until i did it and i have finally found myself.
i hated being fat and cd has given me my life back. i am me again. if you can stick to it it is the best. but do whats right for you and maybe take some time out to think things through.
i hated being fat and cd has given me my life back. i am me again. if you can stick to it it is the best. but do whats right for you and maybe take some time out to think things through.
cornishkez
Gold Member
Cheers guys, its not that I get hungry. In fact I had to force myself to have the shakes, I was lucky on that front. I didn't even enjoy food when I cheated, the urge to binge really is unbearable tho...lol! Think thats the issue I have to deal with.
I understand - I have been a binge eater for several years now and finally sorting it. Hypnotherapy hasn't fixed it in one session but it is slowly making a difference each time I go. The desire to binge is too much sometimes... however, if you are like me... the feelings of guilt and beating myself up mentally after feel much worse - I then punish myself with further bingeing - catch 22....try and break the cycle. You could maybe imagine how you will look with another stone gone and then another... imagine how you'll feel if you can do the things that you struggle with now. For me, I can't wait to sit cross-legged comfortably again! How about you.... what feeling are you looking forward to?
cornishkez
Gold Member
I remember when I lost 3 stone a couple of years ago, how amazed I was when I could feel my collar bone! And when my armpit dipped in when I raised my arm.
cornishkez
Gold Member
Thanks x
cornishkez
Gold Member
Well everyone, I am back in the game! I'm going to give it another shot.
Decided mainly because everyone I spoke to told me not to worry, it was a hard diet and I'd done well so far. Maybe I should try something a bit easier. Which made me soo mad! I want to prove to everyone I can do this and that I am not weak!
Also, my partner really upset me. He couldn't understand how, but he's never had and never will have a weight issue, so he probably won't ever understand. He just made some comment like 'Have you given up your diet then?'. But the way he said it was accussing. So in my head I am saying to myself 'See even he thinks your a failure'. He then said 'Well just as well cause it'll save money'. So I flared up then! I didn't spend 9 hours scrubbing crappy, mouldy little chalets for minimum wages for the hell of it! It was to pay for this diet, so I reminded him of that fact. His response was, that I could use the money to clear some debt.
Well, that decided it for me. I am not slaving away just to put it on my debts, I already don't have any hobbies or perks as everything goes on bills. So if I am going to do slave labour, I am going to chose how I spend it!
So here goes Day 1 (again!). This will be the 3rd time I have tackled going into ketosis. Luckily the first 2 times I was into it at the end of day 2. Day 2 being the worse headache and cold wise.
1 x Cappuchino shake down (I actually quite like them).
1 x pint of water down.
Have a good day everyone. Will drop in later x
Decided mainly because everyone I spoke to told me not to worry, it was a hard diet and I'd done well so far. Maybe I should try something a bit easier. Which made me soo mad! I want to prove to everyone I can do this and that I am not weak!
Also, my partner really upset me. He couldn't understand how, but he's never had and never will have a weight issue, so he probably won't ever understand. He just made some comment like 'Have you given up your diet then?'. But the way he said it was accussing. So in my head I am saying to myself 'See even he thinks your a failure'. He then said 'Well just as well cause it'll save money'. So I flared up then! I didn't spend 9 hours scrubbing crappy, mouldy little chalets for minimum wages for the hell of it! It was to pay for this diet, so I reminded him of that fact. His response was, that I could use the money to clear some debt.
Well, that decided it for me. I am not slaving away just to put it on my debts, I already don't have any hobbies or perks as everything goes on bills. So if I am going to do slave labour, I am going to chose how I spend it!
So here goes Day 1 (again!). This will be the 3rd time I have tackled going into ketosis. Luckily the first 2 times I was into it at the end of day 2. Day 2 being the worse headache and cold wise.
1 x Cappuchino shake down (I actually quite like them).
1 x pint of water down.
Have a good day everyone. Will drop in later x
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minirog
Silver Member
Awesome. You sound so determined today. I'm really proud of you (not in a patronising way) just because I know how hard this diet can be and you are brave and strong for just trying it.
Re: your partner's comment. If you don't have a problem with food (which I definitely do!) then it is impossible to understand how it feels to NEED something. It isn't about hunger or even taste - it's just about getting that food in. It;'s a form of self punishment - even though I guess we never look at it that way. I hope it's okay for me to say this, I just wanted you to understand that I do understand how you feel (which is how I ended up so massive!). People don't mean to be unsympathetic, they just don't understand. I am now seeing a psychologist through my doctors surgery and she is really helping me learn to get to grips with how I feel about myself and we are just starting to unpick loads of things which is really helping. Please don't take offence, I just wanted to say that maybe you could ask your doctor? Everyone is entitled to six weeks with a counsellor minimum and maybe it would help you whilst you go through these first few weeks?
Gosh, I hope I haven't offended you, I just wanted to say you are awesome and strong and a beautiful person and that if someone can help you believe that then this whole process will be easier.
Hugs x
Re: your partner's comment. If you don't have a problem with food (which I definitely do!) then it is impossible to understand how it feels to NEED something. It isn't about hunger or even taste - it's just about getting that food in. It;'s a form of self punishment - even though I guess we never look at it that way. I hope it's okay for me to say this, I just wanted you to understand that I do understand how you feel (which is how I ended up so massive!). People don't mean to be unsympathetic, they just don't understand. I am now seeing a psychologist through my doctors surgery and she is really helping me learn to get to grips with how I feel about myself and we are just starting to unpick loads of things which is really helping. Please don't take offence, I just wanted to say that maybe you could ask your doctor? Everyone is entitled to six weeks with a counsellor minimum and maybe it would help you whilst you go through these first few weeks?
Gosh, I hope I haven't offended you, I just wanted to say you are awesome and strong and a beautiful person and that if someone can help you believe that then this whole process will be easier.
Hugs x
cornishkez
Gold Member
Hehe, don't worry you haven't offended me. What you say makes perfect sense!
I think I took such insult at what he said, because it was like he was saying it was easy?! Sadly for him it probably would have been. He just does not understand how hard it is? He has an issue with drink, once he starts he can't stop. So he is now tee-total. Me, well I can give or take drink. I really don't miss it. When I try to tell him that our relationship with food is the exact opposite of our relationship between drink....but he won't have it! lol
Makes me so mad! But I have to bite my tongue as I don't want to hurt him making snide comments about his drinking problem. Because really he has done amazingly well!
Anyway, I feel nice and positive about it all today. Have even made a list of what shakes etc I want to get tonight. I am going to get some bars to try as well.
x
I think I took such insult at what he said, because it was like he was saying it was easy?! Sadly for him it probably would have been. He just does not understand how hard it is? He has an issue with drink, once he starts he can't stop. So he is now tee-total. Me, well I can give or take drink. I really don't miss it. When I try to tell him that our relationship with food is the exact opposite of our relationship between drink....but he won't have it! lol
Makes me so mad! But I have to bite my tongue as I don't want to hurt him making snide comments about his drinking problem. Because really he has done amazingly well!
Anyway, I feel nice and positive about it all today. Have even made a list of what shakes etc I want to get tonight. I am going to get some bars to try as well.
x
franbella21
minimims stalker
kez, im back and nearly in tears after reading your posts.you say you feel a failure reading other peoples weight loss but i want to tell you that i just failed myself miserably. if you read my diary youl see why but have basically kicked myself out of ketosis by eating crap and got wi today.i feel so unhappy and such a let down 
reading that your starting again hasd made me smile as we will be on day one together!! heres to haleketosis breathe !!! love love x
reading that your starting again hasd made me smile as we will be on day one together!! heres to haleketosis breathe !!! love love x
cornishkez
Gold Member
Wow, minirog when was your weigh in? I've just noticed your week 2 on your signature. 7lbs! Well done! Does that make up for the dissapointing (but actually fantastic) 5lbs the first week? x
minirog
Silver Member
I weigh in at 9-ish! Lucky really I guess, saves me being nervous all day.
It does make up for it and I ma totally gob smacked and thrilled. I know that it won't happen every week so I'm just aiming for 3lbs next week so I hope I get there! It is a motivator to stick with it.
Thanks for the support. It's been great to know other people are struggling with thie ups and downs of this diet, but I know we'll all get there.
Franbella - good luck with the weigh-in.
Me x
It does make up for it and I ma totally gob smacked and thrilled. I know that it won't happen every week so I'm just aiming for 3lbs next week so I hope I get there! It is a motivator to stick with it.
Thanks for the support. It's been great to know other people are struggling with thie ups and downs of this diet, but I know we'll all get there.
Franbella - good luck with the weigh-in.
Me x
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