LeaE's Jelly Wobble

[therealbbe]

Afternoon chick how's your Saturday doing well I managed shopping with my mom and daughter and told her I was doing Cambridge she was really supportive and said please follow maintenance or you will be backto square one I know what she means lol so whilst they had subway (which is my fav) I had my choc mint bar and bottle water xxxx

 

[WillpowerWoman]

That's a good idea being realistic about it x I would like to get to 10 stone but its so much to lose so I also will be happy at 14 c last time I did this before I had my daughter I was 13 st 13 a size 14 and very happy with my body like that I was a size I liked and I could maintain without making myself miserable but just not sure if I stopped there because I have always been so fat that weight was a vast improvement so felt great but should I have really stopped there still over weight ! I'm not sure ! So I'm just taking it as it comes now ! I'm not putting myself through the agony of over analysing it just going to stick with this till I have lost a decent amount and see how I feel about myself and this diet ! It's so hard to think about where I should be when I have never really been anything other than fat ! I love the new clothes in smaller sizes but being fat has always been me its almost part of me and I know that sounds so stupid as aspects of that truely do get me down more than I would ever admit to anyone around me but part of me has accepted that as its what I have been all my life ! Even as a kid a young kid I was chubby always always !
I say to ppl I will never be slim as my body shape is big boobs bum an legs ! But is that really true ! No not really because science says if I lose that weight it would have to go eventually wouldn't it ! It's all part of the defence mechanism we all have built up as a means to protect ourselves ! Example being ! I don't want to get married ! Well actually I regard marriage very highly v highly indeed and would love that with someone but due to bad relationships and not feeling good enough and not wanting to be a fat bride that pll say looks lovely with in actual fact I look like an harpooned whale I have convinced myself and everyone around me that it's not what I want to a point I have been proposed to 3 times turned down a 3 and half grand ring and boy it was a nice ring ! Obviously them relationships weren't right hense not being with them now and I'm glad I politely said no (should have kept the ring though lol) but truth is I said no because I didn't feel like I could get married !
Wow that was a blurt of emotion wasn't it sorry for that but being honest about my demons is the only way I'm going to do this ! I most def have come to see I have a very low self esteem and a bad body image but it's odd as I'm so confident in my other qualities and aspects of my life and no one knows this about me as I never let it effect any aspect of my life ! I find it so hard to write all this stuff and it makes me want to cry but isn't this all part of this journey x

Hi

Yes that's what is so good about the diaries and the forum as we get to rant and analyse and support each other. WE WILL DO THIS

 

[LeaE]

Yes we will willpower woman yes we will x

 

[LeaE]

Yes I'm going to order it online

Omg yes yes yes that's amazing news post us a picture of yr new dress missy I want to see x

 

[Vjdisme]

Omg yes yes yes that's amazing news post us a picture of yr new dress missy I want to see x

I will xxxxxx

 

[LeaE]

Afternoon chick how's your Saturday doing well I managed shopping with my mom and daughter and told her I was doing Cambridge she was really supportive and said please follow maintenance or you will be backto square one I know what she means lol so whilst they had subway (which is my fav) I had my choc mint bar and bottle water xxxx

Well done Sharon good on u I'm really proud of u xxxxxx I'm proud of the subway thing and I'm even more proud u told them x it takes real guts to tell ppl but honestly it's for the best bet u feel quite good when u told them x I'm a firm believer that honesty is the best policy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone well done love what a real turn point today has been for u x

 

[LeaE]

Well been to meadowhall had my hair trimmed not looking any different but I feel better now it's done ! I put off hairdressers as they always make such a screw up so I have developed abit of a phobia but today I laid the law down about not cutting off too much not thinning it out with stupidly short layers and to shape it to my face abit but not hundreds of layers ! Don't know why but most hairdressers always want to cut my hair off they always want to take it shoulder length or bob and they always want to over thin my hair so I have hardly any left ! I could kill some hairdressers after they do mine so that's y I avoid them at all cost but this one was fine after I have her the ultimatum of not getting paid if she did anything more than I asked lol god I sound such a cow but with the christening tomoz I can't risk it and I tipped her £5 for doing as I asked so I'm not that bad am I ! Lol ok ok I am but god yr hair is important !
Well I have just put the kids to bed and done my fake tan just got to chill out watching the voice and drink water x oh and my last shake nearly forgot that !
Well as a qualified beauty therapist I will give u a quick tab tip time just to lighten my diary a little as I think the over emotional post was v deep lol always wear gloves when applying ! Exfoliate well before hand ! Wear lose clothes after no undies !! And don't apply a full amount to the knees elbows hands or feet just flick blend down from wrist to knuckles over the elbows and knees and from ankle to toe never on the toes x when u have done if yr leaving it on over night wear full armed and legged pjs and wear some cotton gloves over night to avoid orange hands in the morning lol if u do get orange hands scrub in toothpaste and it removes most of it xxx
Oh god it's weigh day tomoz and this week is a pants week for me and yes I weighed at home !!! And I know u shouldn't but I did but now they are hidden away ! But anyway like I said I'm either sts or might pull a pound which in the grand scheme of things is ok as I'm losing so that's all that matters but this week I could have really done with a 3 or 4 pounder seen as I have the christening to get through all that alcohol and buffet and desserts to avoid its just bloody unfair but tomorrow I'm preparing for a taking it on the chin week I'm afraid ! It's funny because I come out with the a pounds two blocks of lard and but add that back to all u have lost so fat blah blah blah and I'm about to eat my words here (no pun intended) as its my turn to suck it up and dam that's gunna be hard spesh like I said with a social event on that exact day following wi !
But ..... Tough poo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep calm and carry cding on !!!!!!!

 

[therealbbe]

Well done Sharon good on u I'm really proud of u xxxxxx I'm proud of the subway thing and I'm even more proud u told them x it takes real guts to tell ppl but honestly it's for the best bet u feel quite good when u told them x I'm a firm believer that honesty is the best policy as long as it doesn't hurt anyone well done love what a real turn point today has been for u x

Awwww thank you huni was hard and felt a little embarrassed coz I feel I let myself get like this etc but feel really good about it now xxxx

 

[therealbbe]

Good luck tomorrow chick still gonna bathe you in fairy dust anyway whether you like it or not!!! Love ya tips about tanning I actually thinking of getting one when I get to two stone xxxxxx

 

[LeaE]

Oh Sharon go for it x I buy the tanning mouse from the pound shop it's ace not too dark and easy to apply and honestly follow my tips any u can have a salon tan for a pound x I stick to the theory of if u can't tone it tan it x well done again on today x good on ya and don't be embarrassed u should be proud x proud u have the motivation to do something about it missy x

 

[LeaE]

Good luck tomorrow chick still gonna bathe you in fairy dust anyway whether you like it or not!!! Love ya tips about tanning I actually thinking of getting one when I get to two stone xxxxxx

And yes please please please cover me in fairy dust right now and in the morning too and if yr not busy while on the scales too cos I need some form of miracle ! And is it too greedy to ask for u to sprinkle enough for 3 lbs please lol
And if u can't make that come true would u mind sprinkling that fairy dust around at the christening please to help me stay on track after such a crap weigh in because I'm not sure my will power will be quite enough x oh and maybe abit while my pictures been taken so I look half decent lol man that was a long post about fairy dust lol xxxxx thank u sweetheart u do cheer me up lol

 

[therealbbe]

Oh Sharon go for it x I buy the tanning mouse from the pound shop it's ace not too dark and easy to apply and honestly follow my tips any u can have a salon tan for a pound x I stick to the theory of if u can't tone it tan it x well done again on today x good on ya and don't be embarrassed u should be proud x proud u have the motivation to do something about it missy x

Ooooooo I gonna try that!!! Thanks for the tips xxx

 

[therealbbe]

And yes please please please cover me in fairy dust right now and in the morning too and if yr not busy while on the scales too cos I need some form of miracle ! And is it too greedy to ask for u to sprinkle enough for 3 lbs please lol
And if u can't make that come true would u mind sprinkling that fairy dust around at the christening please to help me stay on track after such a crap weigh in because I'm not sure my will power will be quite enough x oh and maybe abit while my pictures been taken so I look half decent lol man that was a long post about fairy dust lol xxxxx thank u sweetheart u do cheer me up lol

Hahahahahaha ok here goes "sprinkling you all over with fairy dust sweetie" you do deserve it you have done so well and just hope the wonderful CDC scales are good to you or I will get my hammer out and smash them up toooooo!!! Ps will sprinkle in morning as well hahahahaha just in case xxxxz

 

[LeaE]

Ha ha ha Sharon please don't give me ideas about hammers and scales as I'm probably considering right now how I can sneak that hammer in with me without anyone knowing or having it make me weigh anymore lol maybe a decent sized handbag ? Lol ok I'm relying on that fairy dust to be my saviour x

 

[therealbbe]

Ha ha ha Sharon please don't give me ideas about hammers and scales as I'm probably considering right now how I can sneak that hammer in with me without anyone knowing or having it make me weigh anymore lol maybe a decent sized handbag ? Lol ok I'm relying on that fairy dust to be my saviour x

Hehrhehehe what time is weigh in lovely xxxxx

 

[LeaE]

Half 9 today xx

 

[demonp]

That's a good idea being realistic about it x I would like to get to 10 stone but its so much to lose so I also will be happy at 14 c last time I did this before I had my daughter I was 13 st 13 a size 14 and very happy with my body like that I was a size I liked and I could maintain without making myself miserable but just not sure if I stopped there because I have always been so fat that weight was a vast improvement so felt great but should I have really stopped there still over weight ! I'm not sure ! So I'm just taking it as it comes now ! I'm not putting myself through the agony of over analysing it just going to stick with this till I have lost a decent amount and see how I feel about myself and this diet ! It's so hard to think about where I should be when I have never really been anything other than fat ! I love the new clothes in smaller sizes but being fat has always been me its almost part of me and I know that sounds so stupid as aspects of that truely do get me down more than I would ever admit to anyone around me but part of me has accepted that as its what I have been all my life ! Even as a kid a young kid I was chubby always always !
I say to ppl I will never be slim as my body shape is big boobs bum an legs ! But is that really true ! No not really because science says if I lose that weight it would have to go eventually wouldn't it ! It's all part of the defence mechanism we all have built up as a means to protect ourselves ! Example being ! I don't want to get married ! Well actually I regard marriage very highly v highly indeed and would love that with someone but due to bad relationships and not feeling good enough and not wanting to be a fat bride that pll say looks lovely with in actual fact I look like an harpooned whale I have convinced myself and everyone around me that it's not what I want to a point I have been proposed to 3 times turned down a 3 and half grand ring and boy it was a nice ring ! Obviously them relationships weren't right hense not being with them now and I'm glad I politely said no (should have kept the ring though lol) but truth is I said no because I didn't feel like I could get married !
Wow that was a blurt of emotion wasn't it sorry for that but being honest about my demons is the only way I'm going to do this ! I most def have come to see I have a very low self esteem and a bad body image but it's odd as I'm so confident in my other qualities and aspects of my life and no one knows this about me as I never let it effect any aspect of my life ! I find it so hard to write all this stuff and it makes me want to cry but isn't this all part of this journey x

Omg-i go away for a few hours and come back to so much to comment on-lucky its my lie in day today so i have some peace and quiet. Ok,firstly, as someone who has also opened one of those emotional boxes on this forum, i salute you for your post above. I know how hard it is to finally admit out loud to some of your deepest secrets. Trust me, you will now be able to make better sense of it. Until i met my husband i had said i would never get married for similar reasons to you-plus i was convinced i would get hurt. Get this-even when we did get married, i told him i didn't think it would last more than 18 months. Nice huh! Defense mechanism-just like making fat jokes about myself before anyone else does. We are now approaching our 10 year anniversary but i still have wobbles-and that's not just my thighs! Big admission now-my low body image has also ruined our sex life and Im not really sure why he is still with me, but Im bloody glad he is as he is my world. When you meet the right one LeahE, your heart will take over your insecurity and you will say yes-and you will make the most beautiful bride! Next thing-smash up your bloody scales-seriously girl, how many times do we have to tell you! Stop putting yourself through it! Next thing,the christening is just one day of your life. Relax. You are stronger than you realise. Just keep offering to hold babies and then you won't have any free hands for food and drink. Next thing-good luck with wi. Whatever you get will be amazing because you are still in control! And just keep thinking about those jeans. Sometimes lost inches say more than scales. Last thing-off subject-has anyone else read,'fifty shades grey'? Someone at work recommended it to me-started reading it yesterday and boy does it make you blush. If you after some escapisim here it is-could only have been written by a woman! Anyway-good luck again hun-everything crossed for you. Try not to sneeze on all that fairy dust that Sharon is sprinkling around for you x

 

[therealbbe]

Half 9 today xx

Ooooooooo huni not long!!! "I sprinkle thee with all the fairy dust around" remember sweetie this isn't a race our bodies do what they do!!! You are doing amazing you are so in the zone. Success doesn't come to you - you go to it you are doing that!!!!!
Good luck Leanne xxxxxx

 

[Vjdisme]

Ooooooooo huni not long!!! "I sprinkle thee with all the fairy dust around" remember sweetie this isn't a race our bodies do what they do!!! You are doing amazing you are so in the zone. Success doesn't come to you - you go to it you are doing that!!!!!
Good luck Leanne xxxxxx

Good luck this morning what will be will be . Enjoy your day too xxxxx

 

[Zest for Life]

Good luck x

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