Lily's Lyrical Lollop. Destination: Land's End...

[Lily]

Evening campers!

Still lurking about round here, even though it's looking more and more likely I won't be returning to Cambridge any time soon.

I'm going to have to take my own advice about scales and stop weighing in every day, cos they seem to be bouncing around all over the place. I guess that's because, although I've cut out wheat and I'm not currently eating potatoes or rice, some of the veggies I'm eating are higher in carbs so my glycogen and water stores are fluctuating a bit. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. Going by the calories, I can't possibly be eating enough to be gaining fat, so it must be water.

However, in checking out the calories, I've realised I was in danger of developing a bit of a nut addiction (ha - no wonder I'm nuts! ), so I'm now restricting myself to almonds and measuring them out in little pots so I can't kid myself how many I'm eating LOL.

But I'm still loving this way of eating - and nobody could be more surprised than me!

 

[Sarah Lou]

Well done Lily I am so glad you are enjoying your plan. I have to be very careful around nuts :8855:that made me chuckle!!! I'm like once you pop I can't stop. Keep posting here Lily so we know how you are getting on. Enjoy

 

[coralprincess]

Fantastic Lily, you sound *happy* and that's the most important thing <3

 

[Cerulean]

Oooh, I love an almond, me - when I was vegan last year they became my very special friend...Er - hmmm.

 

[Lily]

Feeling a bit cr*p this evening.

I've mentioned before that I find my job a bit tricky at times (when I'm done with my 21 days of listening to the hypnosis bit of You Can Be Thin I'm going to read Marisa's other book on Confidence ). Well today was one of those days that really knocked my self-esteem. I've been working on a project for the last 10 months or so - I was thrown in at the deep end into something that had been in progress for 2 years, so I've had to build relationships, get to grips with what had happened so far and what needed to happen next, not to mention get my head around some pretty technical IT stuff. Anyway, it's been going really well and I'm really proud of the good working relationships I've built.

But my boss's boss wants to stir the pot and ask all kinds of questions about the outcome of the project - questions that in my opinion don't need asking in this context because the project was never designed to address the questions he wants answering. So I've been trying to put across to him my point of view - but unfortunately, he's one of those people that once he's made up his mind, he won't change it, no matter how reasonable you think your argument is. He even implied that I'd got too close to the project and that the reason I couldn't see it his way was because I didn't want to rock the boat, which if I'm honest is the thing that irks me most about the whole thing, because that's not the reason at all. I'm not scared of raising an issue when there actually is one. How the hell does he think I've managed to glean so much knowledge already without asking difficult questions?

Anyway, long story short, he's now escalating his perception of the 'problem' - and I'll have to deal with the fallout and hope to hell that he doesn't destroy what I've been working so hard to achieve over the last few months in one fell swoop.

It's just a bit demoralising and I've come home feeling like I failed a test that I didn't know I was sitting, if that makes any sense. I failed to get my point of view over to him and he thinks I'm soft. Great.

Oh well. I have no desire to eat my way out of the pit I feel like I've fallen into, so I guess that's something - and noteworthy in itself - but I still feel really low.

 

[Cerulean]

Ugh - What is with bosses like that? I swear it's because they feel powerless so they feel duty bound to make everyone run around pointlessly. I should say constructive things, but you're a smart lass and I'm sure you'll handle this with diplomacy and come out the better for it. I feel your pain. I've been firefighting today too!

 

[Lily]

Thanks Cerulean

Mine has to be 'seen' to be doing stuff, if you know what I mean. There's nothing he enjoys more than point scoring and lording it about.

Never mind about getting the job done and 'we're all in this together'... :sigh:

Who'd be a civil servant, eh? What was I thinking?

 

[Cerulean]

Ha! I usually hold off from saying negative things about the civil service because so many capable, practical, competent, passionate people are part of it...but bloomin' 'eck, the management need a kick up the bum sometimes. If they were capable of organising a kick up the bum

 

[Sarah Lou]

There really is something about people I don't quite get what starts out as one thing turns in something totally different. It seems to me there are hidden agenda's and they use other people to do their dirty work. I had a manager Lily who no matter what would not budge once she had an idea even if it caused the boat not to rock but flipping sink.

I understand how you feel! think back to my situation a few weeks ago, I was so mad that I just took the grief from that jumped up stupid man and spent the weekend in tears and worrying. He realised he had gone too far when he received the complaint but the damage was done. Since then you can see he's holding back on other stuff, so it will only be a matter of time before he goes off on one.

We all look back and wish we had reacted a different way, but you weren't prepared for what he had to say and to be honest when you've put alot of work into a project it's crap when someone else comes along and seems to stamp all over it.

I'm sorry Lilly you've had such a bad day. I'm sure you will reflect back and work out how to handle it.

I had a meeting today with a new manager. Half my age and has been in post for a year. I have fifteen years of service and manage my team. I sat back listening to what she see's as the way forward (more clap trap) when she finished I pointed out she could do this with her team but maybe getting all the team together first might be a good idea as they are part of the way forward? She then pointed out that if she got everyone together they may ask questions she couldn't answer. I said maybe the way forward is a bit too advanced?? how about meeting your team first informally and then arrange a planning meeting, oh and add a few cakes into the mix, that's a winner because you are only as good as your team!! she went off to consider that one !

Have a quite evening and I hope you have a better day tomorrow x

 

[MissyJo]

Evening campers!

Still lurking about round here, even though it's looking more and more likely I won't be returning to Cambridge any time soon.

I'm going to have to take my own advice about scales and stop weighing in every day, cos they seem to be bouncing around all over the place. I guess that's because, although I've cut out wheat and I'm not currently eating potatoes or rice, some of the veggies I'm eating are higher in carbs so my glycogen and water stores are fluctuating a bit. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. Going by the calories, I can't possibly be eating enough to be gaining fat, so it must be water.

However, in checking out the calories, I've realised I was in danger of developing a bit of a nut addiction (ha - no wonder I'm nuts! ), so I'm now restricting myself to almonds and measuring them out in little pots so I can't kid myself how many I'm eating LOL.

But I'm still loving this way of eating - and nobody could be more surprised than me!

Evening dear Lily,

It seems the storm is passing you by and you are settling....and you seem content too!! I agree that you need to abandon the scales...we both know it makes no logical sense Lady. But we understand the subconscious drivers that send our feet padding down the hall to plonk our bods on the blighters....

You seem to be more at ease with your current choice of fuel. Good on you :hug99:

 

[trisha]

Thanks Cerulean

Mine has to be 'seen' to be doing stuff, if you know what I mean. There's nothing he enjoys more than point scoring and lording it about.

Never mind about getting the job done and 'we're all in this together'... :sigh:




know just what you mean, only ours is a woman, she loves nothing better than making people look small, and making a show of them in front of others, she's never wrong, etc to use the kids at schools language "She really does my head in"]

 

[trisha]

[ There really is something about people I don't quite get what starts out as one thing turns in something totally different. It seems to me there are hidden agenda's and they use other people to do their dirty work. I had a manager Lily who no matter what would not budge once she had an idea even if it caused the boat not to rock but flipping sink




Have worked with some of those people too, won't admit when they've made a mistake they are right no matter what

 

[coralprincess]

Really chuffed for you Lily. Just goes to show that when you find the right diet for you you don't have to be miserable even though you're restricting yourself. Well done xxx

 

[Lily]

Well, my boss's boss got his comeuppance, LOL. He fired off an email to the SRO for the Project - who promptly replied and told him exactly what I'd told him. Ha - vindicated. So my boss's boss was forced to write a sheepish, "Thanks, that's very helpful" email in response and seems to have backed right off...

It leaves me feeling a little bit miffed that he wouldn't listen to me, but at least I know I was right.

Dietwise... hmm. Still doing fine, but the scales bounced back up to 14st 4lbs and are refusing to budge. I guess it's actually a good thing that they aren't moving, because they're aren't moving upwards, so I'm not doing anything wrong. I know from a quick tot up of the calories that I'm eating around 1200-1300 a day (with the occasional 1500 when I go nuts eating nuts ). I know from using my trusty calorie calculator that I need around 2,000 calories to maintain (and that's a conservative estimate). So even on a nutty week, I should drop a pound a week. Not very fast, I know - but I've tried fast and it just wasn't working for me. A pound a week is three and a half stone in a year. After all these years of being overweight, why should I be in such a tearing hurry to be slim anyway?

My bodyshape's changing though, even though the scales aren't. It's really weird. My legs are slimming down and my tummy's flat (well, flatter than usual beneath the layer of lard ). And weirdest thing of all, I'm not in the least bit hungry. I get so that I feel that I could eat, but gnawing hunger just doesn't seem to happen. And that's interesting, because I'm taking in something like 120g of carb each day according to Perfect Diet Tracker. I thought losing the hunger thing was linked to ketosis and eating less than 50-60g carb a day - but maybe it isn't. Maybe losing the hunger is about eating the right sort of carbs - the carbs in vegetables and fruit, not the carbs in bread and pasta.

I don't know. I'm not knocking it, because it's working.

So here I am, maintaining after Cambridge at 14st 4lbs... I know that really I should move this diary out of here to the main Diary section but I'm not sure that anyone would visit me there...:cry:

 

[Sarah Lou]

Hoorah for the workers! So he should of apologised!!! who the heck do these people think they are. I am glad you are feeling better and well done for staying on track that's an acheivement Lilly! you had an emotional set back but carried on!! you go girl and if you move your diary I will visit you, I need my chats hun and to see how you are doing! whatever you do you don't get rid of me that easy.

 

[Lily]

Thanks Sarah Lou x x

Yay, the scales are showing 14st 3lbs again today. :clap: Okay, so it isn't the 14st 2lbs I saw last week, but at least they're moving downwards again. I was beginning to wonder if they were stuck forever...

 

[*Shanny*]

Yay Lilly 14.3 is great you will drop by the weekend again I'm sure.

Happy Sunday and keep smiling x

 

[MissyJo]

Thanks Sarah Lou x x

Yay, the scales are showing 14st 3lbs again today. :clap: Okay, so it isn't the 14st 2lbs I saw last week, but at least they're moving downwards again. I was beginning to wonder if they were stuck forever...

Well, Lilly.....what can I say? I have loved reading both your up up date and everyone's responses.....they keep me going. Your diary belongs here, as does your journey, experience, expertise and insights.......if you ask me xxx

 

[Lily]

Thanks Jo and Shanny. :grouphugg:

Well... this no wheat no dairy thing has really surprised me. Sorry to keep going on about it. But I'm stunned...

(1) Because I'm finding it so easy - is that because of Cambridge, I wonder - because in doing Cambridge I learned that if I wanted it to work, I couldn't have anything other than what I was allowed? Or is it just the hypnotic power of Marisa Peer, LOL?

(2) That I really am not hungry. Ever. I get to a point of thinking yeah, I could eat something now. And I actually want to eat the food I'm allowed to have. I have no interest in bread, pasta, pizza - all the things I used to crave and love - particularly French stick. It was a joke in our house that I couldn't even pick up a French stick in a supermarket because if I so much as touched it, I had to eat it. But now... nothing. Marisa's made my brain look at it and go, "Cattle feed - you are not a cow, Lily!" - and that's it. Yikes. Who knew I was so susceptible to hypnosis? And yet even the idea of cheese makes me feel queasy.

(3) That I don't mind that I don't want bread anymore. I always thought I wouldn't want to be hypnotised not to want my favourite foods anymore - because where was the fun in that? And yet, I don't mind. I don't want it now and I don't care either. Pass me some ham or chicken and a can of sweetcorn and I'm happy. Now that's truly bizarre...

(4) That I'm eating fewer than 1500 calories every day (sometimes a lot less) and I don't want to eat more. It doesn't feel like dieting. According to my trusty BMR and activity calculator, if that state of play continues, I could at some point reach 9 stones and still have some calories to spare - which means, incredibly, I might get to that weight and even more incredibly, stay there. That seems too mind-boggling to believe. I've been thinking for a while now that to get to 11 stones would be great (I'd have a BMI of 25 at 10 stones 6lbs).

I can hardly get my head around the idea that this state of affairs is going to continue. But I'm starting to believe that it might...

 

[trisha]

Lily keep your diary on here, and it belongs here because you are post cambridge anyway, it will help those of us who are still CDing decide what route to take when we are reay to maintain.

I plan to follow a route similar to yours - low carb -as in no pasta/sugar etc but I will eat fruit.