Day 7 @ 11:19 : I know it's real late but I was up all night watching the destruction of my neighbourhood by rioters on SkyNews. Which also meant that I couldn't go to my local park because they were trashing the place and burning cars. It's a nightmare in London right now. But anyway. Managed to fall asleep after my mum text me to say she got to work safely. Unfortunately for her, my flat doesn't have anything in the way of food. Just lipotrim, water and tea. She drank some herbal tea, poor thing. I've just had my first shake of the day (chocolate) and I'm feeling fine. I've really gotten used to this feeling of weakness and hunger I suppose, cos I do feel hungry. Just not craving anything fatty or too sweet.
I also had a dream of being in a JLO video where we were on that....jetski? with the bed attached to it that they use to rescue people? Yea. We were on that in a beautiful ocean. I kept getting nervous that maybe there were sharks lurking about, ready to bite our limbs! but she kept right on doing her thing for the camera, looking all glamourous and smiling.
Once the shoot was done we got onto the beach, much to my relief, to greet a couple of male stylists who were caucasion and skinny and one of em was holding up this beautiful white flowy coutour (can't spell!) dress with a black band over the empire line and it was tiny so you knew it was a designer dress for the beautiful and skinny. And as I admired it, this guy kept shooting me a face that said to me, "I don't know why you keep looking at this dress. It's not going to fit you....anywhere!" His eyes were cold and disconnected whenever he looked my way. I turned upset and walked away asking myself who the hell he thought he was? I'm gonna lose so much weight that dress won't even fit me!
Of course Miss Lopez fit in it perfectly.
I seriously think I'm developing an obsession with losing the pounds now. Cos if the numbers on my scale doesn't keep falling? I'll star jump until my heart races and then do it again. Drink some water. Go toilet. And then jump on the scales again. I definitely don't want to become aneorexic so my mind better just behave itself.
Gonna try and open bowels today. It's important to go so I won't feel bloated and sluggish