Lipotrim 01.08.11-14.11.11 Diary Challenge

[CaliSweden]

Great job on sticking to your diet even with temptation right in front of you That's the hardest time to say no.

You've done really great so far on your diet, and lost a lot of weight. You've lost 3 lbs this week so far so that's really good. Like I always say you know your body best and should decide on that what is best for you as a diet. Some diets aren't for everyone and that's okay. It doesn't make us a failure for not sticking to a diet. Many of us have tried many diets before we find the one that best fits our body's needs.

I wonder if it's because you're exercising and having so low calorie that your body is not letting the fat go. It can happen to those who exercise and not take enough calories, the body goes into starvation mode and doesn't want to let go of the weight. So that's something to take into consideration too. Usually when you workout you'll need a lot more calories than 400-500 calories a day.

 

[Miami Brown]

Day 20 of week 3 18:53: The day I cheated on my diet.

Rather than shy away in shame, I have decided to come on here and explain myself and to let everybody whose reading this know exactly what went through my mind before, during and after I cheated.

Since my last diary entry, I was feeling pretty confident about sticking to my diet. That was until I began watching a movie called, It's Complicated. Although it was about a divorced couple having an affair? I couldn't help but feel enticed by all the food that was in nearly every scene. Yes, I should have turned it off, but I was too into the storyline to want to.
It was around 16:45 when my stomach began to send signals to my brain to eat something. And as you know, for weeks I have had pizza in the back of my mind.
I tried to concentrate on something else, but there it was. Niggling away at me. I quickly went to the kitchen and made my second lipotrim shake and drank it whilst convincing myself that this is what I really needed. But it wasn't. I drank water but the taste did nothing for me. I paced up and down. I rubbed my fist into my other hand. Very soon I began to cry in frustration. I tried telling myself, No! No! No! It was seriously like I was a crack addict or a alcoholic wanting that one drink.
I looked at my body, my legs were definitely smaller and so was my neck, but with my stomach? I saw very little evidence of improvement.
I became so frustrated. Frustrated that the lipotrim wasn't the quick fix I was looking for. Frustrated that I couldn't control my thoughts. I was frustrated right up until I made that order. And not only did I buy a medium sized pizza? I bought a B&J ice cream too.
As I waited anxiously for the delivery I sat on my bed thinking about the days when I used to diet and exercise and did treat myself a lil but then went back to eating healthy and still managing to lose weight. I thought of the programme biggest loser and how the contestants still ate food and lost more in each weigh than I have in the last couple weeks. And I've been exercising. Just a whole bunch of things went through my mind like, I can binge today and start again tomorrow and maybe this time I will lose more pounds by the end of the week. And then I thought. Maybe I should just eat healthy, have my chicken and vegetables and let that be that. I was confused and I tried to justify my actions.
Soon as I heard the bike pull up outside my window I was by the door faster than Flash Gordon. I even gave the guy the exact change. No time was wasted. I sat down, opened the box and drew in a deep breath. It smelt good but I hesistated. I thought back on what other people's experience was. How they didn't enjoy it. So this was me trying to get in the mood to eat it. I took my first bite and it was good. After 3 slices, I was full, but I kept on going til the whole thing was gone. At one point I felt like I was going to be sick but still I continued on eating because I didn't want there to be any left for later. I could taste the salt, the sugar and the oil. The salt bothered me the most but it was still nice to eat a green pepper.
I did feel happy. I didn't feel anxious anymore. I felt instant relief. But again, soon as I finished it? There came the guilt. There came the wtf did I just do? And lastly, how am I going to get rid of it? My worst nightmare. Purging.
Before I did, I weighed myself again. It read 214.6 from where I was 212.2lbs this morning. After my purge? it was 213.8.
Right now? I don't feel any guilt, just immense frustration. A part of me is trying to get better and the other part of me is resisting it. How can I achieve when I am my greatest enemy?
Today showed me how strong an addiction to food can be. I was literally crying because I couldn't find the feeling. When you're in pain the first thing you do is look for relief and aparantly, junk food is my relief. What I really wanted was baked skinless, boneless chicken strips and veg. That's what I really wanted. But I couldn't wait I didn't want to go outside to buy the ingredients for it. Having the lipotrim shake didn't make any difference to my body whatsoever. When your mind says it wants something? you've gotta be a god to resist it. My stomach is still quite full. I never really get rid of everything when I purge. And I strongly do not recommend it to anyone. It's very unpleasant. It's painful and you may think it's a clever way to cheat your body into beating the calories but you'd be wrong. It wears away your teeth and stains them, it wears away your larynx, it messes with your nutrients, your hair starts to fall out, nails get brittle, skin dries up.
I have a lot demons because of my attachment to food that I am working on to be rid of. If you want to lose weight successfully? Do not look up to me for inspiration because I am not perfect. Take with you only the fact that it is your body, and you will look after as best you can.

Best wishes.

 

[CaliSweden]

Hi Missy, we all slip up on our diets. None of us are perfect, we're humans, with each our own flaws.

I'm really thinking that this diet isn't for you. Food isn't the enemy, it's our choices that are the enemy. I learned that sugar and carbs aren't the enemy, I just didn't really know which were the right choices. Maybe it's better to relearn better foods to eat. That way you won't get the feeling of wanting to binge and purge.

Binging and purging is a very dangerous slipper slope. It's okay that you did it today. What's done is done, don't beat yourself up, it will make things worse. Now is the time to decide what you will do. Will you continue doing lipotrim, or maybe it's time to change to a different diet, that doesn't restrict you so much, so you're tempted even more.

With your working out, you will probably see better results in your weightloss if you up your calorie intake to more than just 400-500 calories a day. You seem to be a very active person

What I learned from GI/GL is that if you slip up, it's okay, it's not the end of the world. If you're doing good all the other meals that whole week, and afterwards continue to eat the good for you foods, then that one mistake isn't going to be the end. I still lost weight with being naughty a few times. It's not the fastest way to lose weight, but it's a very safe and natural way to lose weight, where you relearn to eat foods that are better for you. You'll be surprised at how the cravings for naughty things go away with eating better foods.

I hope that you're okay. We're here for you, and thank you for sharing us your joys and pains. It's what makes us respect you because you tell the truth no matter what. Please don't give up losing weight, just please take some time to really think which other diet might be better for your needs

HUGS!

 

[Miami Brown]

Day 21 of week 3 @ 09:59: Possibly my last day on Lipotrim.

I didn't fall asleep until 5 o'clock this morning. I was up all night trying to figure out what to do next.
I started by googling all the different kinds of diets I've seen posted on minimins and wondered how successful they all were at helping people to not only lose weight, but maintain it. My objective in the beginning was to fast track my was through weight loss, straight down to my ideal weight and then hopefully find a way to maintain it. But what I really should've been doing was discipline my regular eating habits and exercise as I've done before.
I don't know. I've been really anxious about going to this wedding and all I could think of was how much I did not want to look back on fat, ugly photos of me next to the bride and groom when all the while I was thinking I actually looked good. I just don't need any more ugly photos to add to my collection. I want to look at myself and say, Wow! I look really nice.
Weddings should be an exciting time but in my very sad, little world I feel far excitement. Just dread and embarrassment. I honestly can't wait until it's over.
I'm just scared. I'm really scared of gaining all the weight back. I don't want to keep doing this anymore it's driving me nuts. If I could, I would go for a private gastric band. I don't care if people say it's cheating. When you're trapped in a prison that you made for yourself, you don't have a clue what it's like not to be able to break free. I am a Bulimic binge eater and I still on the cbt waiting list 2 yrs later.
I've still got sachets of lipotrim left so I'm just gonna go ahead and use em up until they're gone and if I feel like the weight is dropping off again then I'll get another week's supply until I leave the country. I'm not going to think about the future now. I'm just gonna play it by ear. I'm not going to have any more junk food for today. I'm just gonna get back on the horse and ride it out.

 

[Miami Brown]

Hi Missy, we all slip up on our diets. None of us are perfect, we're humans, with each our own flaws.

I'm really thinking that this diet isn't for you. Food isn't the enemy, it's our choices that are the enemy. I learned that sugar and carbs aren't the enemy, I just didn't really know which were the right choices. Maybe it's better to relearn better foods to eat. That way you won't get the feeling of wanting to binge and purge.

Binging and purging is a very dangerous slipper slope. It's okay that you did it today. What's done is done, don't beat yourself up, it will make things worse. Now is the time to decide what you will do. Will you continue doing lipotrim, or maybe it's time to change to a different diet, that doesn't restrict you so much, so you're tempted even more.

With your working out, you will probably see better results in your weightloss if you up your calorie intake to more than just 400-500 calories a day. You seem to be a very active person

What I learned from GI/GL is that if you slip up, it's okay, it's not the end of the world. If you're doing good all the other meals that whole week, and afterwards continue to eat the good for you foods, then that one mistake isn't going to be the end. I still lost weight with being naughty a few times. It's not the fastest way to lose weight, but it's a very safe and natural way to lose weight, where you relearn to eat foods that are better for you. You'll be surprised at how the cravings for naughty things go away with eating better foods.

I hope that you're okay. We're here for you, and thank you for sharing us your joys and pains. It's what makes us respect you because you tell the truth no matter what. Please don't give up losing weight, just please take some time to really think which other diet might be better for your needs

HUGS!

Thanks Cali

 

[mspiggy]

Hi MB,
CaliSweden has made a lot of really good points, I think you already know trying to maintain is really difficult after losing a lot of weight too quickly, i have to agree with Cali, perhaps the lipotrim isnt really for you what do you think? perhaps use it again to shift the last stone or two? once you've lost a lot on a healthy eating type of plan?
I hope you get your cbt appointment soon, perhaps its time for you to start pestering the doctor to escalate you to a quicker appointment, or request a cancelation appt', meanwhile maybe you could research it, find out how it works, you might find some really useful information.
Try to remember hun, the people who love you do so regardless of your weight, they wont love you anymore than they do now when you are at 9stone.
Good luck with whatever plan you choose, and we will support you through it

 

[CaliSweden]

Hi Missy let us know what you decide to do. It took me almost a week to figure out which diet best suited my needs.

I'm sure you'll find the diet that will match your needs better. Remember if you're workingout you're going to need calories to not starve yourself.

I know what you mean about going to a wedding not looking as you'd like to look. I did that back in June, and a few days after I saw my photos at the wedding I started dieting. I'm sure there's a huge improvement since you started dieting. We may not look as good as we want to during the weightloss process. But if you compare yourself on how you looked before you started losing weight to now, I'm sure you'll see a much better you I'm also certain that dress you bought fits you much better now too

For picking a diet that best suits your needs. You must think about which types of foods you like to eat or prefer to eat. I'm not talking donuts and cookies and things of that sort. I mean are you more of a veggie and fruit person, or a meat eater, or like eating fatty foods???
Do you like dieting alone or having a support group? Do you like exercising or not much? These are questions that will help you pick a diet best for your needs

For me, I love my carbs too much to get rid of them, if it's oats, wheat, sugar, fruits whatever it is I like it and just can't live without my carbs. So for me GL was better because I can substitute the bad carbs for good carbs, also watching the portion sizes and it's a lifestyle

 

[Miami Brown]

Hi Missy let us know what you decide to do. It took me almost a week to figure out which diet best suited my needs.

I'm sure you'll find the diet that will match your needs better. Remember if you're workingout you're going to need calories to not starve yourself.

I know what you mean about going to a wedding not looking as you'd like to look. I did that back in June, and a few days after I saw my photos at the wedding I started dieting. I'm sure there's a huge improvement since you started dieting. We may not look as good as we want to during the weightloss process. But if you compare yourself on how you looked before you started losing weight to now, I'm sure you'll see a much better you I'm also certain that dress you bought fits you much better now too

For picking a diet that best suits your needs. You must think about which types of foods you like to eat or prefer to eat. I'm not talking donuts and cookies and things of that sort. I mean are you more of a veggie and fruit person, or a meat eater, or like eating fatty foods???
Do you like dieting alone or having a support group? Do you like exercising or not much? These are questions that will help you pick a diet best for your needs

For me, I love my carbs too much to get rid of them, if it's oats, wheat, sugar, fruits whatever it is I like it and just can't live without my carbs. So for me GL was better because I can substitute the bad carbs for good carbs, also watching the portion sizes and it's a lifestyle

I've read evvvverything you're saying yea. But see. I don't have a problem with dieting, eating healthy or exercising...UNTIL! this evil switch in my brain goes off and I start binging and purging. After that? I'll go back to eating baked chicken with peppers and onions and cougettes and aubergines with plain mash potato or baked potato. And yes I love fruits. I grew up in the Caribbean practically living off mango, passion fruit, pineapple, oranges, guava, plums, coconut milk and apples. I'm not someone who lives off fried chips, fried chicken, kebabs, burgers, chinese, Indian or pizza every day of the week or just every week. I don't eat biscuits and cakes and pastries....evvveryday or twice a week. That's not me. I eat sandwiches where the bread isn't always whole grain. I eat white rice and pasta. I eat spaghetti. I eat eggs and I like to eat with a squirt of tomato ketchup. I love steamed broccli, cauliflower, baby carrots, baby corn and sugar snap peas. I love roasted butternut squash and soup. I love sweet potatoe. I love real home cooked meals and a bowl of fruits. That's me. And yes. A lot of my weight gain had a lot to do with uncontrollable portion size because I'd get bored and most of the time I'd be inactive. So when the cravings do set in? I do go all out on the junk food. And sometimes I try not to purge even though my gut is bursting, I try not to because I'm trying to get better for myself. I do know what cbt is about and the reason I haven't had an appointment yet, is because my psychologist didn't think, from her risk assessment of me, that I was mentally stable to deal with it. However I was offered an appointment, but I missed it. So now I'm waiting for another one shortly after I return from holiday.
I have deep rooted issues with food that not any kind of diet is going to make any difference. I could be on the GL diet and maybe two weeks into it, if I'm lucky? I'd still do the same thing. It's like an addiction. There's something about getting that sugar fix that makes me feel calm. But after I've done it? I need to get rid of it or I'll get anxious and upset.

My situation isn't a pleasant one. I wish it was that simple. I've decided to continue with the lipotrim now until I leave. When I come back? I'll try to figure out what my next move will be.

Hopefully I haven't gained too much that I won't fit into my lovely dress. If it all goes ping tong! at least I'll have my body shape underwear to suck it all in!

 

[CaliSweden]

So you'll get to speak to someone about your condition when you get home? I'm sure they'll be able to help you out, and take control of that addiction

The wedding is in two weeks time, I'm sure you'll lose some more weight before then if you continue on lipotrim for the rest of the time

We're here for you!

 

[Miami Brown]

So you'll get to speak to someone about your condition when you get home? I'm sure they'll be able to help you out, and take control of that addiction

The wedding is in two weeks time, I'm sure you'll lose some more weight before then if you continue on lipotrim for the rest of the time

We're here for you!

Yea. I'm sure. Thanks CS

 

[Miami Brown]

Day 21 of week 3 @ 20:27 : "It Aint Over 'Til The Fat Lady Sings!"

This morning I finished off the rest of the Chinese pork noodles and veg and made myself sick again. I'm not proud. It is dangerous. But it is a mental illness and a curse that I do not wish upon any one (except for my enemies!). In fact my tongue feels swollen and I've just had a laxative.
After I was sick? I immediately put on my Natalie Cassidy workout DVD and was able to do at least 30mins before I was totally burned out.
I then did some more research into other diets, Slimming World....Weight Watchers...Celebrity "something or other", Dukan diet, Atkins diet, Exante...it was just nuuuuts! The only thing I didn't check out was tesco diets cos the site can be slow to load on my iPhone
Anyway, I looked at 7 day meal plans which all looked sooooooooo good. But I wondered how much all that stuff was gonna cost my shopping trolley ever week? With food costs on the increase, how was I going to afford all these exotic ingredients? Then there was one 7 day meal plan that had coffee with milk included in every breakfast. Forgot the name of the diet, but it didn't take me long to decide that diet was definitely not for me. I'm not much of a coffee fan unless it's hot, sweet, creamy and has whipped cream on it minus the dark chocolate shavings. I also do like mocha choca but these drink are fat-E!

Then I checked out GL diets and I thought, hmmm... maaaybe. I do like fruit, veg and nuts. And I love basmatic rice and pulses (especially tinned red kidney and butterbeans). But again. The costs are crazy. I mean, £4 for a bag of grapes that only lasts as long as 3 days? Gimmie a break. And don't get me started on cherries. I love cherries, but these people are having a laugh aren't they? And yes. I do shop in the Market place but some of there produce has more insects than fruit and that puts me off. Especially when the fruit looks near death. I can't buy that. And the cost of nuts and dry fruit. It's just a next madness to try and be healthy. So long as junk food is cheap? all drug companies and weight loss clubs will be in business. That's all I have to say. But really? I don't have a choice do I. Not if I'm aiming for a fitter figure. *sigh*

Aaaaanywhooo..

Before my nap I had a glass of lipotrim and that was it. Luckily, I haven't felt like I've been thrown out of ketosis today. My cravings for sugar and fat have gone completely cos like I said, it's like a fix for me and I just continue eating healthy til the next attack comes. Obviously I'm still upset over not keeping my weight to 212.2 I was only 2lbs away from saying goodbye to the "teens" for good and now I'm exactly 214lbs. Not....good for week 3.
For now, just going to continue on with the lipotrim. Just until I fly out. I'll come back, weigh myself again to see the damage then go back on the lipotrim, tryyyy to lose at least 3 stones in 12 weeks and then lose the rest via maintenance if that works out. I think that'll be the plan. But things like birthdays and Christmas, I am going to take part in the celebrations just to give me that balance. Being healthy cold turkey isn't realistic for me I've realised. Just gotta take the ying with the yang.

 

[CaliSweden]

Sorry to hear that you got sick I hope you get better soon.

It's good to see that you're checking into other diets GL isn't that expensive, you don't need to buy all the stuff they say. Like for example dried fruits, all the nuts and rice etc. In the beginning I bought all that but I don't use it as much now. Also since I don't buy all the junk foods like I used to, I save money that way, or should I say the food cost is still the same now.

I mostly use frozen berries, sunflower seeds, walnuts, oatmeal, quinoa, beans, and lentils. Luckly frozen berries, oatmeal, sunflower seeds, beans and lentils aren't expensive foods. Especially if you buy dry beans, and cook them yourself you get more bang for your money.

 

[Miami Brown]

Sorry to hear that you got sick I hope you get better soon.

It's good to see that you're checking into other diets GL isn't that expensive, you don't need to buy all the stuff they say. Like for example dried fruits, all the nuts and rice etc. In the beginning I bought all that but I don't use it as much now. Also since I don't buy all the junk foods like I used to, I save money that way, or should I say the food cost is still the same now.

I mostly use frozen berries, sunflower seeds, walnuts, oatmeal, quinoa, beans, and lentils. Luckly frozen berries, oatmeal, sunflower seeds, beans and lentils aren't expensive foods. Especially if you buy dry beans, and cook them yourself you get more bang for your money.

Cool

 

[Katierose]

Hi x
I can totally relate to how you feel, I have to stick to my diet 100% at the moment otherwise that would be it.. my downfall is alcohol.. Every diet is difficult and you have to be happy with what your doing, Your getting help for the purging problem and that s good. x
Just take things day by day hour by hour that s the only way I can do it at the moment.. You have our support on here It certainly helps me coming on here ..
Hope you have a good day today xx

 

[Miami Brown]

Hi x
I can totally relate to how you feel, I have to stick to my diet 100% at the moment otherwise that would be it.. my downfall is alcohol.. Every diet is difficult and you have to be happy with what your doing, Your getting help for the purging problem and that s good. x
Just take things day by day hour by hour that s the only way I can do it at the moment.. You have our support on here It certainly helps me coming on here ..
Hope you have a good day today xx

Thanks Katierose

 

[Katierose]

How are you doing today x

 

[Miami Brown]

Tues 23rd Aug 2011 @ 17:55 - I have well and truly screwed it up now. I've put the stop of my lipotrim drinking days to an absolute stand still. I tried. I gave it my best shot for as along as I could for someone of my mental capacity and I just couldn't take another day of drinking a glass of sweet gunk. No way. The only thing that still remains consistent is my daily exercise regime which I actually look forward to cos I like the feeling I get afterwards
Then I went and did some food shopping. I know I shouldn't have skipped breakfast cos breakfast is the most important meal of the day and it makes you eat more later...blah, blah, blaaah and all that jazz. I thought since I was gonna do a quick bit of shopping? I'd be back in time to at least have a glass of lipotrim. But soon as I stepped in? I stepped out again to run some errands. I didn't get home til around 4pm. So like from 9 to 4 I basically had nothing to run on. When I finally did what I had to do? I drank a litre of fresh orange juice (not all in one go) and 2 packets of walkers crisps (BAD GIRLL!!!) a juicy plum and then later I made dinner. Skinless, boneless chicken breasts with onion, leek and sweet pepper stew, steamed broccoli, cauliflower and carrots and half a oven cooked corn on the cob. My stomach is bursting! And I only dished it out on a small plate.
My plan of action is this. To eat very small portion sized meals regular. Like every 3 hours. And all it's gonna be is fruits, veg, chicken, fish and maybe a treat like cucumber with houmous, jelly or fruit yogurt Only carbs this gal is gonna eat is basmati rice and baby new potatoes. I don't wanna hear about brown bread or brown rice...or whatever white things they've turned brown. For breakfast it's all about the porridge, lunch time is soups and dinner is meat or fish with veg. I know if I stick to that I'll be losing weight like I have diarrehea.
I thought lipotrim was the way to go, and maybe it is for a lot of people. But for me? Food is all my brain knows how to process. I think now I better set up another diary in the healthy eating/exercise forum.

Good bye lipotrimmers!

 

[CaliSweden]

I think your new diet sounds superb! It sounds healthy and delicious! Basmati rice is good for you too I know you'll lose weight with your new eating style. Many small meals a day, go no more than 4 hours apart, with smaller portions.

Your dinner tonight is making me hungry Yum yum share! I know you'll do well with healthy eating, I'm so proud of you that you're not giving up.

 

[Miami Brown]

I think your new diet sounds superb! It sounds healthy and delicious! Basmati rice is good for you too I know you'll lose weight with your new eating style. Many small meals a day, go no more than 4 hours apart, with smaller portions.

Your dinner tonight is making me hungry Yum yum share! I know you'll do well with healthy eating, I'm so proud of you that you're not giving up.

I'm glad you approve Cali lol (H)

 

[CaliSweden]

How are you feeling today?