Lizz's "to Inslimity and beyond" diary

[Laura Croft]

Awww Lizz. You don't have to be 'doing well' to post here. That's not part of the rules. If you need some time out, then please take it because sometimes it helps to get the perspective back but promise me if you still struggling in say two weeks time, you'll come back and talk to us. You've not got anything contagious

 

[Katycakes]

Agree with Laura, please don't stay away... posting really helps me when I am wobbling and the support I get here is a lifeline. Sharing your thoughts can hep you to get them straight. Come back, Lizz!

xxx

 

[Wales]

Sharing definitely helps, I know this from very recent experience. It is amazing how many of us go through exactly the same experience and feelings and ups and downs. Sending you hugs x

 

[MissPinky]

not doing too well at the moment!
Up's and far too many downs!
Not much use to anyone at the moment where food is concerned!
Staying away

Love to you all

xxx

Hey Lizz - sometimes distance helps, especially when there's rollercoaster-like ups and downs. Don't be a stranger for too long, but do what feels right for you, and remember to ride the waves, not let them roll over you xxx

 

[LizzMB]

i eat becuase i am sad/depressed, then i worry about getting fat again so i eat a bit more declaring its the last time etc, but then i go shopping and happily fit into size 10's so i think what the heck and so the cycle continues and its proving impossible to break!

I'm miserable at the moment!
Food isnt solving the problem, but its taking the edge of the pain i feel mentally.

being slim hasnt made life better, i just have new insecurities to deal with on top of the old ones!

Cant work out where and when it started going so wrong!

Keep getting tempted to go back to SS for a week, but then battle with myself becuase i know SS isnt the solution either!

Feel weak and pathetic!

Said i would never go back to old habits

I'm such an unhappy size 10 failure!

Ironic huh!

x

 

[herewego]

Oh Lizz - Big hugs!!

You are none of the things you mentioned in your post!! Stop talking yourself down, sweetie - it won't help you!

Every action you do starts with a thought. If you have a negative thought it will lead to a negative feeling which will result in negative behaviour.

If you keep labelling yourself as unworthy, then you will feel unworthy and you will act as if you don't deserve to be slim / happy etc.

Try to counter every negative statement wiht a positive one! Even if you don't believe it, it will make you feel better. I have been practising this for the past few years now and I rarely put myself down these days and as a result I'm a lot happier. Did I initially believe all the praise I gave myself, did I heck, but over time I started to feel better and now I actually think I'm pretty brilliant most of the time

You have been an inspiration to so many of us here on Mini - and I'm sure you're an inspiration to many of your friends and family too.

Keep posting - we missed you when you were gone!

 

[Katycakes]

Alli, I think you're pretty brilliant most of the time too - and very wise.

Lizz, I can't put it any better - Alli has it nailed, really, ditching those negative thoughts is the key. You are great hun, look at how far you've come... but no, CD, won't sort out the issues that made/are making you unhappy. It can only make you slim, the rest is up to you.

For me, binge eating is something I need to leave behind me as it makes me feel so, so lousy and shameful and low. I suspect it may be the same for you. It's NOT about being slim... it's about being healthy, and eating that way is not good for my body or my mind. Does that make sense? That's my task right now & why I need minis more than ever, and after some very low times I do think I am getting there.

Keep posting hun and have a look at CBT or counselling to help you unravel the unhappiness... you can do this. But you need to stop beating yourself up till you're black & blue - that really doesn't help, it makes things a million times worse. Big hugs Lizz.

xxx

 

[Laura Croft]

Lizz - I think we've all been there and Alli's response was beautiful. It is a viscious circle isn't it and I can literally run rings around myself trying to find where the start/finish is. There'll always be 100001 reasons for me to think I want to eat something, and I don't try and deny the thoughts anymore. I'm learning, and learning being operative word to detach from those thoughts and choose the thought that is the best option for me that is going to help me achieve what I want to do. x

 

[Katycakes]

Lizz, hope today finds you feeling a little stronger & brighter. Sending a hug.

xxx

 

[LizzMB]

thanks all for your kind words...they really are appreciated!

Yesterday until about 2pm was just awful.....wrappers all over the place! but then in the evening i kicked myself up the arse and had chicken, potatoes and brocolli for dinner and i really enjoyed it.
Today i am trying to cut the cals down a bit so i have my shakes but then its water, peppermint tea and then my dinner.
I have 60 products left and i will be damned if i am buying anymore to rectify my stupidity so i'm plodding away and trying to get back to being "normal" and "healthy" rather than the stupid person i have become.
I am so terrified of putting on weight.....i love being slim and its difficult knowing i am still fitting into the clothes i love whilst i eat like this. However, i know i can be slimmer so its back to being focused and disciplined....i even threw all the bad food out last night which took a lot!
I had set myself a November challenge to be 100% for 30 days but its just too daunting, so now its 1 day at a time! considering how bad i have been recently, getting through today will be worthy of a celebration!
Thank you ladies for being so supportive.
Still not ready to come back here "full time" lol, but just wanted you to know i'm no longer sat in a corner with chocolate round my mouth and surrounded by wrappers!

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Glad things are a little better Lizz. I know from my own experience that repeated binges WILL put the weight back on, so don't risk it - stop the rot now before too much damage is done. One day at a time sounds like a great plan.

xxx

 

[Wales]

Agree with one day at a time, that is sometime what it takes. Hugs to you xxx

 

[Bess]

Lizz, only just caught up and so sorry that a bad patch hit you. The advice and understanding you've received on here is echoed by me, try along with me - just one good day will be a start! Hope today is better for you.

 

[LizzMB]

a lot better with food at the moment than i have been previously!
I'm loving fruit again with a vengance....trouble is i am having a lot more than the 1000 cal allows, but i dont mind going over board on fruit!
Had CD porridge and stewed fruit for breakfast and then the same for lunch! YUM! Having chicken, pasta salad for dinner followed by more FRUIT! !
I am happy to be getting my 5 a day again and feeling a lot more in control than i did last week!

Just found out we're all getting a 7% pay cut which is pants! Cant afford to live as it is at the moment and my folks help out a LOT since simon lost his job and the savings ran out....but that is going to make things unbareable!
Wishing we hadnt booked Disneyland for March now, but they say its only for 3 months so we'll see how we get on......Thankfully, Simon has a few extra hours coming in as people get closer to Christmas......Sainsburys seems to be benefitting a lot right now....the down side is that we barely see each other anymore, but needs must!

Hope evryone is having a happy Friday!

xx

 

[Katycakes]

Great to hear you sounding more upbeat Lizz, sending a hug.

xxx

 

[Bess]

So glad things feel better for you Lizz.

 

[curlywurly1234]

Lizz,
Just wanted to say Im sorry I have missed a few of your posts but I am glad that things are getting better for you.. The advice that the girls gave you was fab, hang in there hon you are doing great and dont put yourself down as you are a star and have done amazingly well...... we all go through different stages but its good to nip it in the bud quickly which you have done!

You are great and dont let anyone tell you otherwise..............
xxxxx

 

[Wales]

Agree with the above, great to hear you sounding positive - it is important to remember that the darker difficult days do pass, but not that easy when those days are in full force!

Sorry to hear about your paycut - is that in a private company? and is that at all levels in the company? I feel for you as we are going through (another) reorganisation which is unsettling so close to the end of the year.

Hope you have a great weekend x

 

[Bess]

Hey Lizz, you ok? Just checking up on you.

 

[*butterfly*]

Hi Lizz,
Glad to hear you're feeling more in control of your food now, and sorry that life is otherwise throwing you some difficult times. Theres little i could possibly add to the wonderful advice on here, but i've just come to maintenance boards and couldn't read and run without saying hi. You are one of the people on minis whose posts have always been so useful and supportive, and really helped keep me on track, or not feel so alone when i fell off! (you also inspired a mass cooking spree in the form of xmas hampers which i'd have never thought of- so thanks!) Take care xx