Lizz's "to Inslimity and beyond" diary

[LizzMB]

i'm back on track....kinda!
Weekend was a bit more balanced....byut monday i had the mother of all days at work and that ended in another mass of wrappers! (I had a meeting with the boss about how they are treating me which went badly)
Decided i cant do "normal" at the moment, so have kind of gone back to SS....with fruit as i think i would actually die without fruit now! lol.
I have 40 shakes to swap for porridges (its too cold for shakes now!) so that will keep me going for a couple of weeks, but then i'm on my own!
With Christmas coming up, its terrifying territory, but have got DH to put all the Xmas food in the loft so i cant get to it!
There is still temptation that is in reach, but i'm a lot more capable of walking away from it at the moment which is satisfying.
Just wish i could practice what i preach!
I was so sure i would just "get" it this time....but it seems i havent learned from my mistakes in the past....so trying to put a stop to the vicious cycle AGAIN!
I'm still in my size 10's so i'm greatful to that as my body could have really thrown a tantrum with all the crap that has been consumed, but i FEEL fatter which is positive as its for that reason that i have decided to do something about....rather than the alternitive of buying bigger clothes!!!!!
Feel very vulnerable at the moment though which worries me, but its my Birthday 3 weeks today, and i am damned if i'm going to ruin all my hard work now! So i'm back in the challenge mode!
I have weigh in on sat which i havent had for a couple of weeks becuase of circumstance, and i will probably have gained, but its my own fault so i will take it on the chin and stick with the programme!
I know the fruit wont see me in ketosis, but i'm not too fussed about that. I'm not hungry and drinking water like there is no tomorrow....and i'm also looking at how to track my calories when my packs run out...so i'm hoping things are a bit brighter now i have my control back!

Let's see how weigh in goes first though!

x

 

[Wales]

Hey Liz, glad to hear you are back on track(ish) but sorry things aren't going too good at work - are you getting any support from your HR department?

Hope you get on well with your plan and keep posting and let us know how you get on x

 

[Katycakes]

Happy to see you posting again hun... but sorry work is such a nightmare. Sounds really grim... is there anything else you can begin to look around for, something that could make you happy? This situation must really grind you down. SS & fruit may be tough, but I truly admire your determination to get things on track again and wish you all the best with it. The Xmas food in the lost made me smile... if that had been me, OH would have had to hide the ladder, too!

Hugs & wishing you focus for the SSF (SSFruit!).

xxx

 

[curlywurly1234]

hey hon..
Just wanted to say hi and hope things get better for you hon..
Hang in there your doing fab and sounds like your getting back on track..
I hope work gets better for you hon, could you look for something else otherwise you dont want to spend every day miserable there.
Chin up hon xx

 

[Bess]

Hi Lizz, glad you are feeling a bit more positive, I'm with Curly, can you find another job? Not easy I know, but they don't sound so good - is this the job you said you hated a few weeks ago?

 

[sleepybird]

Feel for you re the job thing.....it sucks x

 

[LellyCD]

Hey Lizz, sorry to hear you are having work probs but good on you for taking positive action with eating and being strong! Good luck with the weigh in tomorrow!

x

 

[sleepybird]

Oh yes, sorry! Good luck for your weigh in! x

 

[LizzMB]

well the good news is i have an interview on tuesday for a job back in the midlands....which is a step closer to moving back to Birmingham so i'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed!

Diet wise, still being good. I seem to manage a lot better when carb's arent involved as i dont seem to have so many problems with cravings....! Going out for dinner tomorrow night with DH as we have a babysitter at last....so that will be off plan, but i'm conformtable with that. Its not like i will add loads of glycogen weight for eating so i'll just take it on the chin.
I only have 40 products left so i know i will have to come to terms with food soon, so i'm going to get my butt on a calorie counting tracker so i can be seensible!
I still feel like a failure....which is me being hard on myself as always, but its a feeling that is helping me along at the moment!

Feel a bit fed up tonight! Feel very taken for granted by DH which doesnt make me happy at all and its quite hard not to turn to food....so its an early night to bed for me so i can be well out of the way of harm!

Odd really that my mood is so bad as i have had a half decent week at work for a change!

xxx

 

[Katycakes]

Hugs Lizz, hope that dinner out will help you to feel better & also a bit closer to DH... sometimes they just don't seem to have a clue how we are feeling. Sometimes just as well! You're doing great, and fab news about the interview!

xxx

 

[sleepybird]

Very good news about your interview...fingers crossed for you x

 

[Bess]

Fingers crossed for Tuesday Lizz, really hope you get the job, well done for getting an interview, that's not easy either.

 

[*butterfly*]

Good luck on Tue hun, really hope it goes well for you. I've recently changed the area i work in, i hated the previous one, but didn't realise till out how much it dragged me down sometimes. be keeping everything crossed xxxx Well done on feeling more in control of the food, shouldn't hurt to buy a bit more time by doing ss(f) for a bit till you're up to it again. xx

 

[herewego]

:wavey::wavey:Hi Lizz, Hope you're well!!

 

[MissPinky]

Hey Lizz - how did your interview go? Hope all is well with you xxx

 

[Bess]

Hey Lizz, what happened at the interview? How's things? xx

 

[Katycakes]

Hope all is well with your Lizz, come back soon and let us know how things are... we miss you!

xxx

 

[*butterfly*]

Hey Lizz, just saying hi and sending hugs....hope you are ok hun? xx

 

[LizzMB]

coming back with head in hands....oh the shame!

I know where it all went wrong, getting to 11 stone and thinking that made me 100% cured! i have eating everything and anything in sight since then and feel huge!
I'm a fool and a fat fool at that!
Back on SS+ as of today and so far, have resisted the chocolate cake the girls at work bought me for my birthday and just shared it with everyone else.
Hate the way i look all over again, but at least i'm not 17 stone again!
Back on it now and i will not fail!

Just feel so stupid! I really thought i had it sussed....and then the cravings took over!

I have all my birthday celebebrations and work do etc out the way, so now its 100% until Christmas! I know i know have 19 days but rather do it this way than carry on how i am with a view to getting back on track in the new year with even more damage done.

didnt get the job in the end which i'm not impressed about but such is life.

Thank you for thinking of me, i am back, but probably a stone heavier than i was but ready to tackle the world properly this time!

Silly silly me!

xx

 

[Katycakes]

Lizz, sorry you've been having a tough time... it takes a while to beat the binge demons but stay on here & keep posting, you can do it. SS+ will give you a kickstart and help shift any gain, and then you can work your way up the steps and do things by the book... it helps, a LOT. We all struggle on here, but mostly we are holding things together, and we help each other... you have been a great support in the past and I am so happy to see you back posting again.

This has been a blip, a big one maybe but still just a blip... you can come back from it, get back to goal and beyond into maintenance.

Big hugs and welcome back hun.

xxx