I have had a hard couple of days, mentally I have been wanting to cave in, but luckily I have gone into some weird auto-pilot mode that means I haven't gone off plan! I have been so hungry since saturday, but I haven't been eating my super-free, been really lax since I have been doing mostly green days lately. I am gonna try get loads extra in over the next few days before WI and get back in the routine.
I feel like I just need to go sit in a field somewhere and clear my head. I know what to do, and I am doing it. I'm just finding it harder than usual at the moment. I haven't posted much on here other than my daily food intake lately, because I am feeling a bit fed up of how much time I spend reading/thinking/talking about weight loss. Well, usually I enjoy it, but with all these cravings it just gets frustrating. I used to binge eat multiple times per week for days at a time, and to be honest, I am finding it hard to accept that I can never return to that. I am not having cravings for say, a chocolate... I have a craving for a full on blowout. I am really disgusted that I am feeling sorry for myself that I don't do it anymore.
All I can do is stick to plan, and find a way to have a sensible treat sometime soon. I hope WI goes ok for me this week, but who knows, its so hard to look at my intake objectively at the moment. I will do the best I can for as long as I can, and keep a stricter record of what I am doing. Tomorrow's food is sorted, I will do some planning tomorrow night and make sure this is a good week. I just need to be firm with myself, get my exercising in, and remember the bigger picture.