Lurk no more, fat no more

[Micci]

Fingers crossed for a BIG number tonight, you deserve it for being so focussed despite everything. You can get shots to prevent rabies????? My oh my, the things you learn everywhere.

Could you do me a favour and look the syns value of something up for me? I can't get to a group atm and have bought some Asda Chosen By You Mexican Style Refried Beans. All they have is black beans and some spices but also a teeny bit of concentrated lime juice and modifed maize starch (oh dear, bleaugh, didn't notice that ;( ). I would like to think they are free. THANKS

 

[Mandlegrot]

Oh yes - you have 3 jabs and if I get bitten it meants it 95% won't kill me but you still have to go to hospital and get cleaned up and have immunoglobulin jabs for a few weeks. Worth doing but very costly course!!

Micci - I am certain they are free but I will double check for you tonight x

Am running quick to weigh at 5.30 then quickly to the doctors haha!! Busy busy. X

 

[madmuppet]

good luck for weigh in hun xx

 

[Mandlegrot]

Maintain which is good, but I've been good throughout the week. TMI but I'm really bunged up and ate a HUGE curry last night in the hope it would get to work overnight but no such luck. I'm going to cut back on snacks and chocolate this week as I have eaten choc a lot and even though I'm within syns I don't think it's good to eat it every night. Got a clear week ahead so hopefully have a big one next week am gonna get back on exercise this week too as I've been very immobile the past few weeks (no fault of my own really) but am now feeling lazy as a result

 

[Micci]

You're bound to lose it next week then. Have some prunes Just as nice as chocolate

 

[skinnylegs]

You're probably just bloated. Keep going though and like you say maybe less chocolate.

 

[Mandlegrot]

Just had a load of chocolate

Pissed off isn't the word! I was fine about weigh in, went to doctors, fine...got home and I won't bore you with it but OH doing his usual and just being slack about things...thinks money just grows on trees. I am fed up of it all! I wish he would just get a job and realize how hard it is paying your way in life. He really has no clue! Looks like the festival we were meant to be going to in India end of the month has been cancelled/postponed, which is fine, but he then started going on about staying in hotels etc and being snobby about backpackers places...I cannae afford else owt! Haven't even bought the plane tickets yet as still waiting for his passport to arrive (should have been here a week ago, had he actually bothered to check the doormat for a note) and plane tickets have gone up...same thing happened when he faffed around sorting his visa out. I just don't have the money to pay for his procrastination. He wreckons he has some money saved for India but he is on the dole and keeps saying he will give me money towards food...i don't see how the two go hand in hand?? I just don't get it really.

I won't go on, i feel recently that this has turned from a food diary into the ramblings of a sad woman...I have good days, many good days in fact, and feel like i am being negative on here so thank you all for listening
Heres my food for the day

Breakfast - 2x sweet ryvita, honey (3), melon, pear, cherries
Lunch - cherries, plum, alpen light, supernoodles with sweetcorn (thought i'd left some stir fry tofu and veg in the work fridge but it was on the side and smelt iffy so no superfree!!)
Dinner - Mash, 3x LM sausages, LOADS of veg, 2tbsp BBQ sauce (2), gravy (2)
Snacks - 2x chocolates (7)...regret this now BUT they are the last of those ones left, and I have promised to have chocolate only twice this week and thats my second time...will keep away from the rest of my stash!

So not really a great day, lunch was a bit of a cop out and the emotional eating chocolates were good while they lasted

 

[skinnylegs]

Youve only had 14 syns so I wouldn't beat yourself up.
Have you spoken to your oh? It might be worth explaining how you feel and how much it is getting to you? If you find it hard maybe write it down?
One small blip isnt enough to derail your positive attitude.

 

[Mandlegrot]

Nah not a blip at all eating wise, although i was trying to keep to under 10 syns a day but ho hum. Got a lot of work on before next weigh in so not much opportunity for exercise either...

No point talking to OH about such stuff as he gets defensive about it. So I've given up, to the point that it just makes me angry now. I wish things could go smoothly sometimes - everything i do recently has had some touch of drama or tension to it. Nothing is ever simple or easy

 

[madmuppet]

Atleast it wasnt a gain hun your doing great and i bet the scales will reflect it next week.

Sorry about your OH, my Hubby's the same if i try and talk about things he gets all defensive and trys to turn things round to as if im in the wrong can all be just a big head ache at times. Big hugs hun and try not to let it get to you i know thats easier said then done at times but you can do this xxx

 

[Mandlegrot]

Oh yes. I think I would be in a fouler mood if it was a gain. I have felt very bloated for a few days, TMI but I haven't been regular this week, and ate a HUGE dinner last night - plenty of superfree and high fiber foods that usually help me go, but nothing yet. So I have that sat in me, no wonder I maintained! Must have been a good kilo of food LOL. I haven't been exercising much the last few weeks and I think that is having an effect too, (snow, then funny shift patterns, now I'm just being lazy). I need to get back into my routine and headspace where I was a few weeks back...my holiday to India was motivating me but now its stressing me out as its up in the air and OH is being really blase about the fact I've already spent £250 getting jabs (needed them anyway, although not urgently if not travelling!!) and a visa...plane tickets have gone up and are going up day by day at the minute, and now we might have to find somewhere to stay for 2 weeks and he won't stay 'somewhere grubby' and wants his own shower. I am happy to slum it for 50p a night but that won't be good enough, apparently.
eugh. Enough talk of it. I have wanted to go to India my whole life <3 I won't let it ruin it!!

Thanks to you all again for your support, I am really greatful, as where I live i have no one I can really talk things through with (I moved up here away from London to live with OH). I talk to some people at work, but i don't like to go on about such things at work as weirdly its my escape and sole source of fun and laughter sometimes (how many people could say working on a challanging behaviour unit could be fun haha, but it does present me with many amusing and uplifting things each day) I guess in work I have to take the rough with the smooth, and I need to start doing this in life also. It just seems like one big torrent of rough at the minute though. Am sure once the sun is out a bit more I will stop being so miserable, I get awful SAD too which complicates things this time of year

 

[Micci]

The sun has started to return in London. Do you celebrate the wheel of the year? Its Imbolc tomorrow, celebrate !!!!!! It is a bit of a hard one for vegans being all about the sheeps milk coming but I just look on it as the start of spring. The holiday will be fine, OH will just have to learn to rough it too. Don't forget to pack the imodium though Where are you going?

And remember, all things change, this too will pass.


A N D what about one of those special lights for S A D ?

 

[Micci]

Oh, and don't worry about bing not entirely about food on here ... it's usual. You have seen how I whitter on in mine haven't you

 

[Mandlegrot]

The sun has started to return in London. Do you celebrate the wheel of the year? Its Imbolc tomorrow, celebrate !!!!!! It is a bit of a hard one for vegans being all about the sheeps milk coming but I just look on it as the start of spring. The holiday will be fine, OH will just have to learn to rough it too. Don't forget to pack the imodium though Where are you going?

And remember, all things change, this too will pass.


A N D what about one of those special lights for S A D ?

I have a SAD alarm clock, and a 10,00LUX lightbulb in the spare room that is so bright I can grow plants under it, in fact that has reminded me to start my tomato seedlings off haha! I try and sit in there with it on for an hour or so a day but its quite bright and I tend to potter about as much I can as its hard to sit in haha. I used to be medicated on antidepressants for years until I had an amazing GP come along and notice a pattern- then a diagnosis of SAD at last...this is my first winter not on antidepressants and I'm doing well, although a little down and miserable at times, but i guess thats just life. A few years back I was having panic attacks, 6 week long bouts of insomnia, deepest darkest depression and crying over anything and nothing. So its an improvement

I celebrate solstice more than anything else in the year (winter especially!!) I'm going to read up on imbolc today, not heard of it before Anything that reminds me that better times are coming is always good

We're off to Goa in India, will be good fun. My stomach is pretty used to it really, I used to live out in Kuala Lumpur a good few months each year and drink tap water/curry x3 daily/all the things they tell you not to do, and was fine. So i am sure India won't phase me, but my OH has a delicate stomach at the best of times and I guarantee he will get dehli belly within a day of being there, so imodium will be stockpiles As will rehydration salts...my main concern is malaria as I had dengue fever once before so can't afford to get it again, am allergic to every mosquito repellant that works (DEET put me in hospital! horrible stuff) so I am trying malarone and some new herbal repellant this year...see if it works

I'm now off to supermarket to get some more superfree food in...i feel sooooo bloated its horrible I need prunes (what are the syns??) and lentils, all day.

 

[Mandlegrot]

OK! Operation Anti-Bloat begins - I have deployed apples, blueberries, 35g of high fiber muesli (HEXB) as well as loads of other fruit for brekkie...got lentil soup for a snack when i get to work later...stir fry for late lunch...pasta and salad for din dins all with minimal syns and 2 alpen light bars...looking good!

 

[Mandlegrot]

Been a good day for food today...plus got on to the allotment for a hour long digging session which has made me feel a whole lot better Had the sun beating down on my back, and the allotment is beginning to take shape, which also made me feel good as it was awful when I got it.

I've sacked off the pasta for dinner and am instead having two mini pizzas (made out of those warbuton thin's, one is 5 syns and is pre-cut which will make two pizzas) with wedges and a massive salad. I'll have pepper, mushroom, spinach, olive and onion on my pizzas. Am really looking forward to it!

Back to work tomorrow - got a LOT of shifts on over the next 5 days...but then it quietens down for a few, so all good Am going to try and squeeze in exercise each day when I'm not at work, my prime modes of exercise being swimming and allotment work at the min! I am feeling focused and want a good number for next week - I am watching my water intake and trying to get more soluble fiber in me to stop being bunged up,, i swear stress does it sometimes!

 

[Micci]

Exercise could help with the bunged-up-ness. I hope so anyway. How lovely to have an allotment. Does it flourish? I had one a while back but couldn't keep at it regularly enough. Digging up surprise carrots ie you never know what is under the leaves, was wonderful, and gazillions of courgettes, I really resent paying for courgettes now. But mainly I learned that to be a subsistance farmer is very very hard work abd that I'm grateful for western commercial food supplies.

 

[Mandlegrot]

WOOHOO bunged up no more. (TMI!!) Deployed lentils, prunes, exercise and tons of water...felt like i have given birth and my dress i am wearing has gone from tight to saggy. eughhhhhhh. i am determined not to let it happen again and will be watching my food very carefully from now on!

Just finished work, back at 12 tomorrow though, booo.

@micci - I <3 my allotment - its hard work at 200sqM, but has the potential for me to be self sufficient. I am still clearing it but have got about a third of it almost ready for planting and design stages can't wait to get going in spring, all of this waiting this time of year is painful!

 

[Micci]

Your allotment sounds exciting. So much easier to cope with if you've not got family responsibilities. Being self sufficient in veggies would be wonderful. Our allotments were really friendly too ... mostly. The day I went there and found the wind had taken the tent I had pitched on my plot for the children to play in while I worked and scraped over various other plots was not good. Fortunately it was the mdiddle of winter and no crops were damaged as far as I know.

I'm actually rather impressed that your 'bunged up ness' could cause such a difference when lost. Amazing. Next week should be good on the scales then. Life in that area can be a tad difficult for me atm, living off codeine as I do so I work on the roughage and try and have the odd codeine free day when I can - bit of a challenge that one.

Hope your week gets off to a good start tommorow and that OH gets himself into gear for the holiday.

 

[Mandlegrot]

I'd love to have weighed myself before and after! I'm still very overweight but my stomach is completely flat now...last week however its been like it used to be, really extended, but hard. It's like someone's popped a balloon under there; now I almost have 2 rolls of skin where there's nothing left in there. Mind you, I'm a big eater so there was a heck of a lot of food in there :/ I am on codeine too sometimes, I can't have any other painkillers cos of my kidney...barbiturates are my saving grace, although the unwanted side effects are not to be envied!!

I am now getting organized for work - I feel like recently all I do is pack bags for work, then work, then unpack, just to pack again. Got hospital at 9am, then going for a swim, then work at 12. Not leaving work until Wednesday morning, where i will go for another 'freedom swim' as I call them, before returning home for lunch, going to the doctors then back to work at 3pm. Haha!

There are some lovely, freindly people down on the allotment site, have had many a giggle (and gin/cider/ale) with the couple opposite who very much remind me of me, but in 20 years I generally only see the 20-40 age group as we all tend to go on to site during the afternoon/evenings...I think the old hands go at the crack of dawn, never to be seen past 10am!!! I keep wanting to meet such people and pick their brains for tips, but they are up far too early for me