No, not tmi at all. I understand completely and I have been there in the past. We had my Dad living with us for 10 years and my sister was no help. But we just got on with it. He needed somewhere to live and was very ill. It wasnt easy sometimes, but I dont regret that time and he loved living with us and all the coming and going company. Since he's died, I have hardly had contact with my sister because I resent the freedom she gave herself while we got on with it.
But years ago I had such a cruel shock, I lost my head for two years. What it taught me is that I survived, I am stronger for it. I dont appreciate being put through what I was put through 20 years ago, but I am still here and learned something about myself. I know what you mean about never being THAT low again. Frankly I dont think I could survive that sort of suffering again.
The situation I am now in is nothing like that at all, it's about other people and my worry for them because I am being drawn in and am worried about the consequences to them if I leave them to it. It is a worry, but not all-consuming like what happened 20 years ago. I just need to learn how to deal with it.