Minerva; Confessions of a Food Addict.

[Jezebella]

Hey Min

Menu today sounds fab again, especialy the risotto. Love the pics you posted, perhaps one day I will feel brave enough to do the same. My arse has also dropped!! My tummy doesnt bear thinking about. I am trying to learn acceptance about it and realise I am not 20 and a model in a magazine!! Could do with some airbrushing I reckon!!! Still I am very proud of how far I have come, and I guess it is a reminder to never go there again! Still if my lotto numbers came up I would head off to a sunny country for a bit of the old nip and tuck!

Big hugs hun, glad things are going well for you

Jez
xx

 

[Blonde Logic]

My bum all but dissappeared at the very end of foudnation - when my friends back home saw me by mest friend said, "Oh my god - i love your "boys" arse!" lol

But, it was about 7 months after refeeding and it has filled back out again. My initial thought was "Sh*t!!! My Arse is getting BIG!" BUt then I realised, no - it jst filled back out. So that too can change - but be prepared for a wee mental flip-flop when (if) it happens!!! LOL

I did relax pretty quickly as it was painful to sit in th eearly days, and my motorcycle was really uncomfortable to ride....so the little bit of padding thats come back is a good thing!!

Our bodies - forever changin, ay? lol

Good job on the calorie front Min!!! Very welll done.

x

 

[daisydoll]

you are doing great min!
have a good day today
daisy x

 

[Minerva]

Thanks Daisy. Today was a good day.

I find if I remain calm, and not get worked up about small things, life becomes easier. Such a basic thing to say, but I almost force myself not to get stressed... and I guess it helps... unless I have mild bi-polar, because it's all very cyclical, my lows are very low, and my highs can be overwhelming... right now I guess I'm on a rise up to a high. Meh. I try not to let my emotions dictate food though, my downfall is always social situations; I overeat when there's a gathering - guess I have to work on that one more. ...

And BL - I can't wait to grow some bum back! It hurts to sit everywhere, lol! Even on my bed my 'tail-bone' gets all worked up. But it's interesting that you mention that even in the constraints of a few lbs the body will keep on changing and rearranging. I'd never considered that it could do that!

--
22nd September. Tuesday.

Breakfast: French Toast; Sprinkled with Crispy Bacon Slithers and Sesame Seeds. ~195
W/wheat Bread (55), Egg (75), Milk (10), Salad (20), Bacon Medallion (30), Sesame (5)

Lunch: Toasted Ham and Branston Pickle Sandwich; served with a sliced tomato. ~130
Tomato (15), Salad (15), Bread (55), 10g Branston (10), 30g Ham (35)

Dinner: Roasted Vegetable and Bean Couscous. ~450
50g Couscous (180), Sweet pepper (25), Bean Mix (120), 50g Babycorn (15), 60g Spring Greens (10) = 350
Greens: Salad (30), 100g carrot (40), 50g Broccoli (20), Gherkin (10) = 100

Dessert: Muller Light with Frozen Summer Berries over S/f Lime Jelly. ~140
Jelly (20), Muller (100), 80g Berries (20)

Snacks/Extras: Milk in Coffee, Vitamins (50) ~ 50

Totals: 965

 

[thin_inside]

Min - great to see you gradally upping the cals. You seem to choose very tasty combinations - I love the sound of the roasted veg and bean couscous. xx

 

[Porgeous]

So good to see you increasing those cals hun and sounding like you are enjoying it and experimenting with your food choices... it's all good

On the bony painful bum thing, best decision I ever made was to get a memory foam mattress topper as I found sleeping with all the bony bits seriously uncomfortable!

x

 

[Jezebella]

Min the french toast, yummmmmmmmmmmmmm, I adore french toast. Glad to see that you are managing with upping the cals.

Porgeous good call on the mattrass idea, my bum was sooooooo sore from sitting in the car driving for hours!! Felt I needed a cushion, had been planning on heading to ikea to get a big fat mattrass protector to go onto my current mattrass to make it a bit softer.

Min, do you plan your meals daily or plan a week ahead?

Jez
xx

 

[Morticia]

Well done Min, your menu's always sound so tasty. I'm now thinking of trying french toast when I can have bread...mmm.

 

[Minerva]

The mattress idea is great in theory; because I have such trouble sleeping now... but impractical because I share a standard double with my partner - so there isn't much space to begin with, then the economy issue comes into hand, I don't have money for an expensive purchase like that! ... I guess I'll have to just put up with the pain and all my limbs going numb. Meh.

Menu today was a bit boring, though I did enjoy my tuna cabbage wraps at Lunch time! Didn't really have time to think about it as spent most of the day at my boyfriend's parent's house. Tomorrow is going to be very hectic, doctor's appointment in the morning, then property viewing and then enrolment at Uni! So it's likely I'll have to buy some lunch somewhere! Argh. Stressy.

Feel a bit .. dunno. Calorie intake is on the low-side today, almost wasn't gonna post it... my dinner was bigger, and with the bits that I threw away it ended up this way. I was full and wasn't hungry, so I wasn't gonna make myself eat it. After all, I do still need to respectfully listen to my body - isn't that the main aim of the game sometimes? I mean, pre-LL I couldn't hear my body at all - I just kept shovelling food inside. I honestly don't want to go back to being that way. Ugh.

23rd September. Wednesday.

Breakfast: Lettuce cradles with beans and finely sliced bacon. ~155
Lettuce (20), 140g Beans (105), Bacon (30)

Lunch: Tuna Cabbage Wraps. ~130
Tuna (65), 70g Cabbage (20), Lettuce (20), Crunchy Salad Mix (10), 50g Babycorn (15)

Dinner: Caribbean Chicken Stir-Fry ~285
½ : 350g Stir-Fry Mix (175), 20g Reggae sauce (25) = 200/2 = 100 + Reggae Chicken (80)
½ : 100g carrot (40), 200g Cauliflower (70) = 60ish
Salad (20), Tomato (10), 50g cabbage (15) = 45

Dessert: Yoghurt with Frozen Berries and Jelly. ~140

Snacks/Extras: Milk in Coffee, Vitamins (50), 10g Kinder Milk Slice (40) ~ 90

Actual Totals: 800

 

[Minerva]

Been a really long and busy day today... Went to the doctors in the morning, who's referring me to an ear specialist; we'll see what they come up with. Meh. I seem to be slowly going deaf in one ear, or something, I don't know. Something seems a bit damaged and the whole world seems to be more muted sometimes. Maybe all those metal concerts sitting near the speakers finally caught up with me! Oh well.

Then went to look at a whole bunch of property; while house hunting is fun - it's impossible to ever make a choice! Especially when the investor is my father, and I have no idea what he is really looking for. His mind changes all the time!

Then had my Postgrad University Induction - scared the hell out of me! So much work ahead, I'm almost tempted to turn around and run away! But then again, nothing worth getting is supposed to be easy. One must keep going forward until they reach that desired destination... Day by day, I'll do my best... hm...

So after the long day my food schedule ended up fairly hectic. Had a nice jacket potato with baked beans at a cafe at around 3pm, then a Quorn chicken stir-fry at 10pm; and a lovely jelly dessert at 12. Came out at about 900 calories for the whole day, so not too low, but not high enough I suppose. Tomorrow will hopefully be a better day for food, as it will be less hectic... maybe.

 

[Sean(JSF)]

Hey Min, sounds like you're slowly getting to grips with food again which is really excellent news. Still look a little light on calories and although you said you'll have a few nuts/dried fruit/seeds as snacks you haven't actually eaten any as far as I can see.

You're right about times to eat & spreading the calories out better throughout the day, that certainly seems to be one of the keys of getting & keeping a healthy range.

Keep going you know you'll settle into a healthy routine and we're all 100% behind you

 

[Minerva]

Thanks Sean.
And yeah, I said I'll introduce the fruit and nuts when I'm ready! I'm slowly, slowly working my way towards it.

It actually is getting there; I'm slowly gaining energy back and my brain is much less 'fuzzy'. I mean, there is the fact that I can run empty, but I do feel like yes - I am awake and *somewhat* working, but I'm not working fully; being fuzzy and disorientated on no food isn't very pleasant... so while I may not be hungry, I guess I'm seeing how much it's affecting me if I don't have it. And yes; I need food. I now am starting to recognise WHEN I need it as well and that's important too.

On another note, I was freaking out a bit that I was staying stable 'weight' on only 900 calories - but no... I went from 8st 8lbs to 8st 6lbs this morning and I was like What? It's funny how weight can fluctuate by as much as 2lbs after a good bowel movement! ... TMI?

Guess I'm still losing, so now it is much less scary to push the calories up a little more. I guess I have to gauge my body reaction to it, and for the next two - three weeks work my way up to about 1200 per day. Then do some more listening and probing. It's important not to rush it at this delicate stage. :flirt2:

But; anyhow, today was a good day. Had a nice filling breakfast, then went out to Kingston with my boyfriend to meet a friend! He bought me a Nero cookie and a caramel slice, sort of, I guess, because he's worried about me. I ate about half of each, they were tasty. Then we went to a lovely Sushi restaurant, it was gorgeous food! Ahhh!! I love sushi. All kinds. Mmmm. And I didn't over eat. LOL.

Here's what it sort of looked like

25th September. Friday.

Breakfast: Butter Beans with Bacon and Sweetcorn. ~175
30g Babycorn (10), Bacon (30), 100g Salad (15), Tin of Butterbeans (120)

Lunch: Half of a Nero Cookie (130) & Half a Nero Caramel Slice (130) ~260

Dinner: Sushi Restaurant ~700
Sushi (5 Tuna Maki 25cal each: 125 + Miso 35), = 160
Portion of Buckwheat Noodles (200) with Beansprouts and Chicken bits in Oyster Sauce (200) = 400
2 Gyoza (50 each) = 100 + Chicken Teriyake stick + 40

Dessert: Jelly, Fruit and Yoghurt. ~140

Snacks/Extras: Milk in Coffee, Vitamins (50) ~ 50

Totals: 1320

 

[Gemma79]

looks like you had a fab day min and did great! well done x

 

[Jo B]

I love sushi and can't wait till I can eat it again! Your dinner sounds lush

 

[Jezebella]

OOOH sushi, how I have missed you realistically I guess I could have some sashimi with soy, wasabi and pickled ginger today!!! Pity I am off to work

Jez
xx

 

[daisydoll]

ive never been to a sushi place - only stuff i have had is from tesco.
i must try it!
sounds like a good day
daisy x

 

[Minerva]

Tesco sushi ... Hmmmmm. In comparison to a proper restaurant or even Yo Sushi! it's not even worth mentioning. Needs to be fresh! Plus, sushi doesn't involve just the sashimi, or the rice rolls with smoked fish. My boyfriend hates that kind! He loves the hot varieties, the Japanese chicken curries, or glazed sauce varieties, or the tossed noodle salads, and soups! There is so much more to sushi than the stuff that is in the supermarkets!

Yesterday was fine calorie wise; here's what I had:
26th September. Saturday.
Breakfast: Grilled Crispy Ham with Heinz Beans. ~180
Lunch: Lemon and Dill Prawns; served with a warm Cabbage and Tomato salad. ~155
Dinner: Garlic Roast Chicken; served with Wild Mushroom Couscous Stuffed Peppers with a Peppery Radish, Crunchy Salad. ~ 400
Dessert: Fruity Jelly Yoghurt. ~150
Snacks/Extras: Milk in Coffee, Vitamins (50) ~ 50
Totals: 940
---

Andtoday is a little more like this:
27th September. Sunday.
Breakfast: Baked Beans on Toast with Cherry Tomatoes. ~180
Lunch: Tuna and Mushroom Stir-fry. ~130
Dinner: Turkey Mince Chilli. ~455
Dessert: Muller Light with a small Jelly Pot and Fruit ~140
Snacks/Extras: Milk in Coffee, Vitamins (50), Biscuit (20) ~ 70
Totals: 975




Blah blah blah... Tomorrow I'll be putting a new calorie 'cap' on the day which will be 1100. Since I always for some reason try to go under the daily total, I'll be more comfortable breaking the 1000 number... That's the theory anyway.

And before you say anything; yes, I have a lot of baked beans in the morning... But I find they fill me up nicely and give me plenty of energy until lunch time. Beans and pulses and stuff are pretty awesome! Cereals/Muesli/Porridge do not have anywhere near the same effect and I'm usually hungry after about an hour of having them... so meh.

Nothing really else to say today, was busy doing studying in preparation for my first lectures tomorrow... Wish me luck!

 

[Morticia]

Good luck for the lecture and new calorie total tomorrow Min...

 

[slendablenda]

Baked beans and me, we don't agree. We can't all like porridge, but I am addicted to it now and the fat free Yeo Valley yogurt.I use it in or on almost everything.
I'm also loving the tesco light choices natural cottege cheese on rice cakes with a squirt of Marmite.
Plain and simple - just like me!:flirt2:

 

[slendablenda]

OOOOPS

Sorry Min,
Forgot to say good luck for tomorrow.