Minerva's corner...
- Thread starter Minerva
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Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
The dress looked great on Saturday, I felt really confident wearing it, even if the high heels gave me a blister by the end of the day! Eek. I'm not used to wearing those!
Food wise at the party, I stuck to protein and didn't have any carbs/pudding, I didn't really want them. I did have 4 single shots of whisky with diet coke over the course of the day as my social awkwardness is too much to handle sometimes. I probably did have too many calories, but they came from the right places, so I don't mind too much. Eating early really threw me off though, so I was ravenous by 8pm again, so my OH and I bought a roasted chicken from Tesco and pretty much devoured it when we got home.
Sunday was SUCH a beautiful day, I sat in my living room with the garden doors open reading a book all day, it was so blissful. The cats (they're indoor cats as they're partially blind) had a good explore and enjoyed the sunshine too. The OH was feeling restless (as he does when he has no plan for an off day), so we set about making the best of the weather and had a BBQ. I stuck to protein (with 1 fajita wrap), but in hindsight, it all probably did contain too many carbs - they were Weight Watchers sausages, two burgers (with cheese inside for some reason?) and chicken kebabs we made. So the weight went up 2lbs by Monday WI.
I took today's WI as my 'official' one and all in all -3lbs last week! Puts me at 12st exactly
I'll continue being good until Friday - and as it's my birthday I will have a day off with some good company, pizza and some cider. I'm not too worried as my glycogen stores are pretty empty and that's where it will all mostly go! The WI next week will be crap, but I'm ok with that! It will be back on track until end of May and my trip to Edinburgh - I'm not sure how I'll cope with that. I guess only time will tell. I probably won't worry too much about eating as I do now, because my routine will be somewhat broken and with exams on the 1st and 2nd June I'm sure I'll be stressing out too. I'll aim to look after myself if anything and make the best choices I can given the situation.
Hope everyone is having a good week! x
Food wise at the party, I stuck to protein and didn't have any carbs/pudding, I didn't really want them. I did have 4 single shots of whisky with diet coke over the course of the day as my social awkwardness is too much to handle sometimes. I probably did have too many calories, but they came from the right places, so I don't mind too much. Eating early really threw me off though, so I was ravenous by 8pm again, so my OH and I bought a roasted chicken from Tesco and pretty much devoured it when we got home.
Sunday was SUCH a beautiful day, I sat in my living room with the garden doors open reading a book all day, it was so blissful. The cats (they're indoor cats as they're partially blind) had a good explore and enjoyed the sunshine too. The OH was feeling restless (as he does when he has no plan for an off day), so we set about making the best of the weather and had a BBQ. I stuck to protein (with 1 fajita wrap), but in hindsight, it all probably did contain too many carbs - they were Weight Watchers sausages, two burgers (with cheese inside for some reason?) and chicken kebabs we made. So the weight went up 2lbs by Monday WI.
I took today's WI as my 'official' one and all in all -3lbs last week! Puts me at 12st exactly
I'll continue being good until Friday - and as it's my birthday I will have a day off with some good company, pizza and some cider. I'm not too worried as my glycogen stores are pretty empty and that's where it will all mostly go! The WI next week will be crap, but I'm ok with that! It will be back on track until end of May and my trip to Edinburgh - I'm not sure how I'll cope with that. I guess only time will tell. I probably won't worry too much about eating as I do now, because my routine will be somewhat broken and with exams on the 1st and 2nd June I'm sure I'll be stressing out too. I'll aim to look after myself if anything and make the best choices I can given the situation. Hope everyone is having a good week! x
tickettyboo
Next year Rodders I'll be a size 12.....
Hi Minerva, so glad you had a great weekend and felt confident in your dress, it's an amazing feeling isn't it! I think your whole approach to losing weight is really good, you are mindful of what you are eating but not obsessive about "cheating", you see the bigger picture and recognise it's a long term life choice, and that life and social events can get in the way of dieting. Life is exactly that-about living, making the most of every day, and part of that is the pleasure and enjoyment of food (and occasionally alcohol! ) I am trying to adopt the same approach, this weekend for me has been busy socially and I haven't been as mindful as I should, but have enjoyed it and try to see it in the context of a lifelong need to keep my weight under control.
Aww, you have cats too! We just have the one now, who is a complete nutter. I sadly lost my other cat earlier this year, a beautiful tortie who was almost 20 and I do miss her. x
) I am trying to adopt the same approach, this weekend for me has been busy socially and I haven't been as mindful as I should, but have enjoyed it and try to see it in the context of a lifelong need to keep my weight under control.Aww, you have cats too! We just have the one now, who is a complete nutter. I sadly lost my other cat earlier this year, a beautiful tortie who was almost 20 and I do miss her. x
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Yes, that makes sense, if you are not loading up on carbs then it will take less time to get into ketosis. I've just found this paper, which looks really interesting
http://www.pnas.org/content/111/47/16647.full
A little light reading for the weekend, or in hospital. Other women take hello magazine, I take academic papers to distract me!
Thank you
I will have a read of the article, I always like to know the scientific view on dieting as I like to know why something should or shouldn't work! I used to read a lot of academic papers and still do when I find them on a topic I enjoy, but it's just finding the time to read really! Too many distractions!You're right, it is strange to talk to people who grew up differently. I remember a lot of the stories my grandparents told about living under Soviet Rule and as a Russian it didn't sound too bad. My Latvian grandparents didn't like to talk about it and it took them a few years to come to terms with the fact that their daughter married a Russian. In the end both sides became very close, but I'm sure it was a rocky road to start with. Even my mother, from what I heard, seemed to dislike moving to Russia when she married my dad. She stayed in her room and since grandparents and parents live in the same flat there traditionally, it became quite a difficult situation. Even now, jokingly, my OH points out how different my childhood was to his. I was born before USSR fell apart so my experiences were vastly different, I still remember when Disney infiltrated our television, I remember that Coca-Cola was SUCH a novelty - only bought as a special treat on a birthday. I remember the shops being flooded with foreign items which were in stark contrast to how they were when I was 3 years old, they used to have counters only, where you would go up, say what you wanted, collected a ticket, went to the cash register, payed and then queued back up to get the item. "Self-service" shops as they have here came much later, they were such a novelty. I'm only 30, but even in my living memory experiences and life were so different.
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
I agree - life is for living! When I was doing LL, it was so strict, my OH and I were doing it together and we refused to go out and any social events we couldn't get out of were extremely awkward with us eating our packs and people eyeing us strangely. Since then, I've realised a diet shouldn't rule my life. A day off on occasion isn't the worst thing in the world, weight loss isn't a race. It will happen so long as the choices made 95% of the time are the right ones. No one who maintains in a healthy way (the naturally slim people...) has 100% days everyday. It's about the big picture, not the minute details
I love cats! I had dogs when I was little, but I've always been a cat person. Maybe the cat we had when I was 3 years old made a huge impression on me, even though I don't remember him. 20 is such an old age for a cat, she must have had such a full happy life! How old is the other one? I'm sorry for your loss, losing a pet that is truly your own is ... I found... actually sometimes harder than losing a human... because you're responsible for its wellbeing.
I lost my own little cat last year and I could not believe how painful it was. I almost said to myself that I'd never have another pet. He was the first one I truly owned myself and that makes a huge difference. I still can't really look at a picture of him without wanting to cry. But, I also find life without a creature around is empty... so we adopted two ginger boys from the RSPCA at the end of last year who are partially blind. They're wonderful.
I was lucky as I was growing up in the UK, my stepmother started volunteering for the RSPCA in 1998 or so (and now is the national RSPCA treasurer), so our house was always full of cats for rehoming passing through. We ended up keeping about 8 who we just fell in love with or were unsuitable for other people to take due to health conditions that were hard to manage. They're wonderful memories and they were all amazing creatures. They're like little people each with distinct personalities and habits.
I love cats! I had dogs when I was little, but I've always been a cat person. Maybe the cat we had when I was 3 years old made a huge impression on me, even though I don't remember him. 20 is such an old age for a cat, she must have had such a full happy life! How old is the other one? I'm sorry for your loss, losing a pet that is truly your own is ... I found... actually sometimes harder than losing a human... because you're responsible for its wellbeing. I lost my own little cat last year and I could not believe how painful it was. I almost said to myself that I'd never have another pet. He was the first one I truly owned myself and that makes a huge difference. I still can't really look at a picture of him without wanting to cry. But, I also find life without a creature around is empty... so we adopted two ginger boys from the RSPCA at the end of last year who are partially blind. They're wonderful.
I was lucky as I was growing up in the UK, my stepmother started volunteering for the RSPCA in 1998 or so (and now is the national RSPCA treasurer), so our house was always full of cats for rehoming passing through. We ended up keeping about 8 who we just fell in love with or were unsuitable for other people to take due to health conditions that were hard to manage. They're wonderful memories and they were all amazing creatures. They're like little people each with distinct personalities and habits.
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Today is day 44... I can't believe I've stuck to it this long! At the beginning I didn't think I'd make it through even 20 days! But my head seems to be in the right place and the fasting periods are becoming easier - though the occasional hunger pang does happen! I don't feel run down or foggy like I used to when not eating, but I think that is down to making better choices at dinner time - I eat healthily, without cutting any particular food group out like I used to. I think that helps a lot. Lesson learned! Can't live on minimal amounts of protein and vegetables forever!
Unofficially I've had another 2lb loss since WI on Tuesday. Yay. But that brings me to my next point really, as while I've nearly lost 1st and a half (including all the pesky water weight) I still don't see any difference in pictures, I look the same as I did when I was at 13st. I know my clothes are looser, but visually there's not much impact. The next stone will and should make a bigger difference as I have a lot of reference pictures from my weight loss journey before... and the smaller I get, the less 1lb has to stretch around... I just wish it was now! But don't we all. I've also noticed loose skin when I bend over around my stomach area which annoys me. While I know it's a sad side effect of being morbidly obese for large periods of my life and is inevitable, it does make me feel unattractive. But at the same time, I wouldn't want it to be full of fat. So, in a way I'm also glad it's there. It shows me that what I'm doing is working.
Onwards.
Unofficially I've had another 2lb loss since WI on Tuesday. Yay.
But that brings me to my next point really, as while I've nearly lost 1st and a half (including all the pesky water weight) I still don't see any difference in pictures, I look the same as I did when I was at 13st. I know my clothes are looser, but visually there's not much impact. The next stone will and should make a bigger difference as I have a lot of reference pictures from my weight loss journey before... and the smaller I get, the less 1lb has to stretch around... I just wish it was now! But don't we all. I've also noticed loose skin when I bend over around my stomach area which annoys me. While I know it's a sad side effect of being morbidly obese for large periods of my life and is inevitable, it does make me feel unattractive. But at the same time, I wouldn't want it to be full of fat. So, in a way I'm also glad it's there. It shows me that what I'm doing is working. Onwards.
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
I'm a daily weigher - and today I stepped on the scales and saw 11st 11.4! So that's down by 3lbs since Tuesday. Yay! Almost makes me not want to go out tonight for a meal On the one hand at this point I don't want to go out for it (not really craving junk food/drinks), but on the other hand I can't really let the diet rule my life. It's a funny place to be! Still, even if the scales on Monday show no movement from the official WI, I'll know that technically I have lost this week and the extra is water. Hopefully it'll stay in the 11's though, that would be really nice!
I did make my target of making it into the 11's by my birthday though, so I'm pleased with that
On the one hand at this point I don't want to go out for it (not really craving junk food/drinks), but on the other hand I can't really let the diet rule my life. It's a funny place to be! Still, even if the scales on Monday show no movement from the official WI, I'll know that technically I have lost this week and the extra is water. Hopefully it'll stay in the 11's though, that would be really nice!I did make my target of making it into the 11's by my birthday though, so I'm pleased with that
Loz1986
Full Member
Hi Minerva, just thought I'd pop over here and say hi. Happy birthday!
It's amazing that you're managing to succeed whilst at uni - I've completed two degrees and each time, I've put on quite substantial amounts of weight whilst at uni. But, you seem to be doing so well with your diet. It sounds as though you've had a long and difficult road but seem so focused on the last bit now - good luck!
It's amazing that you're managing to succeed whilst at uni - I've completed two degrees and each time, I've put on quite substantial amounts of weight whilst at uni. But, you seem to be doing so well with your diet. It sounds as though you've had a long and difficult road but seem so focused on the last bit now - good luck!
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Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Hi Loz Thank you! What degrees do you have? I do have to say, balancing uni stress together with dieting isn't easy It almost feels like it's either one or the other at the moment, but, just a few more weeks and then the stress will be over for a bit!
Sooo... Friday and Saturday - I had too much food! I still have some things to learn about stopping when I'm full But one step at a time, hey? And I'm not sure why I didn't get back on it yesterday, I guess I wasn't feeling it. But, today is a different story, I'm ok now. Ready to keep going as before Was +4lbs this morning since Friday morning's WI, which is a bit shocking, but some part of me expected more, so, I wasn't too disappointed. It'll come right off over the next week. All good! Enjoyed myself regardless even though I feel a bit bloated now - a feeling I did NOT miss. But - worth it!
Hope everyone will have a good week ahead!
Thank you! What degrees do you have? I do have to say, balancing uni stress together with dieting isn't easy It almost feels like it's either one or the other at the moment, but, just a few more weeks and then the stress will be over for a bit! Sooo... Friday and Saturday - I had too much food! I still have some things to learn about stopping when I'm full
But one step at a time, hey? And I'm not sure why I didn't get back on it yesterday, I guess I wasn't feeling it. But, today is a different story, I'm ok now. Ready to keep going as before Was +4lbs this morning since Friday morning's WI, which is a bit shocking, but some part of me expected more, so, I wasn't too disappointed. It'll come right off over the next week. All good! Enjoyed myself regardless even though I feel a bit bloated now - a feeling I did NOT miss. But - worth it!Hope everyone will have a good week ahead!
Loz1986
Full Member
I'm glad you had a good couple of days Minerva.
I have a degree in nursing and in midwifery. We had to be in class or on placement fro 37.5hrs each week with assignments etc on top of that. We all complained that our uniforms were a lot tighter by the end than they were at the beginning. I don't think any of us could do up the top of our trousers by the time we finished! It's so much easier to sit in the common room snacking on unhealthy vending machine snacks when you're studying than something healthy you had to remember to take in.
I have a degree in nursing and in midwifery. We had to be in class or on placement fro 37.5hrs each week with assignments etc on top of that. We all complained that our uniforms were a lot tighter by the end than they were at the beginning. I don't think any of us could do up the top of our trousers by the time we finished! It's so much easier to sit in the common room snacking on unhealthy vending machine snacks when you're studying than something healthy you had to remember to take in.
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Today I found an interesting article... It's an un-diet related study on childhood adversity and its effects on adulthood. An interesting read and explains A LOT about why I am the way I am. I didn't think early trauma could/did affect me as much as it did. Maybe it explains a fair bit about how I handle stress/situations and why I turn to food now as well to cope. So everything is linked in some way.
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-last-best-cure/201508/7-ways-childhood-adversity-can-change-your-brain
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-last-best-cure/201508/7-ways-childhood-adversity-can-change-your-brain
Loz1986
Full Member
Thank you Minerva. It's lovely to hear something so nice as that. I don't do the crazy hours now, but they are. Other people who do nights/shifts etc seem to have a regular pattern or a set number of days off between going from a night shift to a day shift etc. I used to often work four nights in a row, finish my nights on say the Saturday morning, and come in for two long days (13 hours each) on the Sunday and Monday. I used to be so tired sometimes (I remember working 5 days in a row, most long days with a late in the middle somewhere) and being so tired at the end of it that I felt I couldn't walk from my car in to the house (despite the fact I park right outside my front door - about 1m away!). I would eat junk a lot!
I haven't read that article yet, but I did psychology in college and the early years have a massive impact on a person's future.
I haven't read that article yet, but I did psychology in college and the early years have a massive impact on a person's future.
nattyclare78
Silver Member
Hi Minerva, I found you!
Just caught up on your diary, you are doing so well.
And your diary is a really interesting read! Love some of the links you have posted.
Look forward to lots more entries x
Just caught up on your diary, you are doing so well.
And your diary is a really interesting read! Love some of the links you have posted.
Look forward to lots more entries x
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Dedicating your life to care for others is really admirable. I can imagine the hours can be hectic at times and that can take a toll. I hope you get the rest you need now without the night shifts as those can be horrendously tiring. My Belgian friends do them, I honestly don't know how they cope!
I did psychology for a brief time during my first university degree, and while some of it can be a bit... speculative to say the least, there are certainly aspects which are valid. Early year development is quite detrimental, but I didn't think that certain things affected physical health as much as they do. There's lots to think about on that front and try to find ways to manage my stress levels better as anything can send me off. Severe social anxiety also doesn't help, but I guess reflecting on it, I can see why it's developed.
On the diet front - I'm again frustrated about how little I'm losing and my momentum/motivation is a bit low. I did have the weekend off so I know I shouldn't be too disheartened. But, I always find that when I start dipping into the 11's, I get my confidence back so that results in crooked thinking - thinking I've lost enough, that a day off won't hurt. But at the end of the day, I know I don't see what I want to see in the mirror yet. My parents say I look good now, that being larger (and curvier) suits me. But, does it? Are they just used to me being a bit bigger? Are they saying it to be nice? I'm not sure. I have to keep going, I know I felt the most amazing at 9st 3 mark (going lower made me feel pretty ill and unattractive...), I don't know if I'm going to be able to get there though. 10st is my target at the moment, so if I ever get there, I'll reassess then. All I know is that I need to lose some more weight for myself, to stop letting my weight from holding me back... and it still does. If there are no mirrors around, I feel fine! But the second I catch my reflection I'm back to square one. I just have to remind myself that losing the weight won't solve my problems, it won't make my life any better, it's just a factor to make life feel just that little bit less difficult. I also have to remember to do it in a healthy way, as last time I did this, I went into all sorts of negative spirals and I remember feeling miserable and trapped. It wasn't healthy at all and I lashed out at everyone and even the smallest things would send me off into panic attacks and stress. Eugh. So keeping an eye out for all that!
Today's fasting is going well, but I do feel hungry. Think it's the lack of coffee I discovered I've been putting too much milk in for a proper fast, but 100 calories over the course of the day isn't the worst thing in the world. Had to take my cat to the vet as well, poor thing, he's been throwing up so had to check that he's ok! They'll run some tests tomorrow and hopefully all will be well with him.
I can imagine the hours can be hectic at times and that can take a toll. I hope you get the rest you need now without the night shifts as those can be horrendously tiring. My Belgian friends do them, I honestly don't know how they cope!I did psychology for a brief time during my first university degree, and while some of it can be a bit... speculative to say the least, there are certainly aspects which are valid. Early year development is quite detrimental, but I didn't think that certain things affected physical health as much as they do. There's lots to think about on that front and try to find ways to manage my stress levels better as anything can send me off. Severe social anxiety also doesn't help, but I guess reflecting on it, I can see why it's developed.
On the diet front - I'm again frustrated about how little I'm losing and my momentum/motivation is a bit low. I did have the weekend off so I know I shouldn't be too disheartened. But, I always find that when I start dipping into the 11's, I get my confidence back so that results in crooked thinking - thinking I've lost enough, that a day off won't hurt. But at the end of the day, I know I don't see what I want to see in the mirror yet. My parents say I look good now, that being larger (and curvier) suits me. But, does it? Are they just used to me being a bit bigger? Are they saying it to be nice? I'm not sure. I have to keep going, I know I felt the most amazing at 9st 3 mark (going lower made me feel pretty ill and unattractive...), I don't know if I'm going to be able to get there though. 10st is my target at the moment, so if I ever get there, I'll reassess then. All I know is that I need to lose some more weight for myself, to stop letting my weight from holding me back... and it still does. If there are no mirrors around, I feel fine! But the second I catch my reflection I'm back to square one. I just have to remind myself that losing the weight won't solve my problems, it won't make my life any better, it's just a factor to make life feel just that little bit less difficult. I also have to remember to do it in a healthy way, as last time I did this, I went into all sorts of negative spirals and I remember feeling miserable and trapped. It wasn't healthy at all and I lashed out at everyone and even the smallest things would send me off into panic attacks and stress. Eugh. So keeping an eye out for all that!
Today's fasting is going well, but I do feel hungry. Think it's the lack of coffee
I discovered I've been putting too much milk in for a proper fast, but 100 calories over the course of the day isn't the worst thing in the world. Had to take my cat to the vet as well, poor thing, he's been throwing up so had to check that he's ok! They'll run some tests tomorrow and hopefully all will be well with him.
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
Hi Minerva, I found you!
Just caught up on your diary, you are doing so well.
And your diary is a really interesting read! Love some of the links you have posted.
Look forward to lots more entries x
Hi Natalie
Thank you for popping in! <3
Minerva
...we're sinking deeper.
I don't know why, but I get quite irked by some of the advice given around the forum. Like, some diets - I just don't see the logic behind them sometimes. Especially SW. I tend to refrain from commenting there because I just don't understand. They advise on having as much as you like of 'free' foods? There is no such thing as free food. =| People tend to do well on SW only if they practice eating mindfully. While I actually do see the benefits of it - it can teach portion control and encourages eating fairly normally for a sustained loss (so no dramatic damage to metabolism), but - FREE food? I mean?!? You HAVE to have all your syns? Just seems backwards to me - but then again I'm coming from a VLCD and Calorie Counting camp, so of course my views are going to clash a bit. The other thing that boggles me slightly is that - those plans teach a normal way to eat, but to a food-a-holic it seems like it's reduced portions, a diet - when it's actually how one should be eating? So it's so easy to slip back into old eating habits as that is still seen as the norm.
It's just frustrating to see sometimes because at the end of the day encouraging people to eat, pretty much as much as they like - of options that are still pretty calorific just seems... odd to me. Just a small rant, it's not in any way meaning to criticise anyone or offend - I'm just a little confused. Maybe someone else can explain it to me.
It's just frustrating to see sometimes because at the end of the day encouraging people to eat, pretty much as much as they like - of options that are still pretty calorific just seems... odd to me. Just a small rant, it's not in any way meaning to criticise anyone or offend - I'm just a little confused. Maybe someone else can explain it to me.
Loz1986
Full Member
I agree with you on that Minerva. I don't get how something can be a free food, as it still has calories, fats etc in it, so I don't understand how it works, either. Though, if I'm honest, I've never looked in to it and it's only what people at work/uni etc say/have said in the past. But, I have seen people who have lost a lot of weight on it so it must work somehow.
