Muffin top / bingo wings / back boobs no more!

Hope all is well with you. Just popping in to subscribe :) loving your diary, read it all & I've got to say you've made my day lol!

Well done on taking the first steps in your weight loss... My son is 3 and that's me finally started to lose weight, lost over a stone doing a shake diet but ended up going back to food :( 2nd day back on the shakes and already 2lbs loss. :)

How much weight would you like to lose? I've got 3 stone to lose.... Bring it on

Xx
 
Hello Melissa!

Welcome and good luck on your journey. I have never done a shake diet, but have done every other type lol.

I would like to loose 1.5 stones, possibly 2. But I'm hopeless....trying to exercise as much as poss as I love my treats.

Well I have come back home and cannot smell poo! I'm hopeful that hubby thinks the same and it is just residue poo smell from too many nappies.

Mother in law was on form today. Mainly slagging off Kate Middleton got still looking pregnant. Apparently my mother in law looked do skinny after birth people thought her children were adopted......yeah right.

She has also appointed herself as a fashion guru because apparently I looked "ok" today. Said with a sneer as she looked me up and down.

I really cannot abide her some times but also realise she is a bit off her tits as well.

Went looking at new push chairs.

Ate three jaffa cakes due to the stress of the event.
 
Hehe ! You do make me laugh!

I wasn't that big after pregnancy , but then I got the implant and BOOM 4/5 stone went on....

Want to get back down to ten stone. I'm 12 stone 12 just now, haven't thrown many of my old clothes out cause I'm adamant to get back into them!
I lost a stone & a half in 3/4 weeks so I'm determined this time lol!

:) xx
 
I had the injection years ago and ballooned after. It was easy to loose after though as I was fairly young.

Well I found a second hand buggy for going off road.they are like 300 minimum the decent ones. And even though I have give up posh yoghurts I don't want to pay loads when its a secondary pram to just go off road.

Today I saw a girl from work who said I looked "happy".

That simply means fat

And to top it off she has a tash. So therefore I think she should be be nicer to people as if I had a tash I would over compensate

So that must mean I'm really fat

My only problem is I have NO WILLPOWER.

I made thai green cod curry for tea. Blooming lovely but I should have just ate lard to save time.

But "happy"


B I t c h
 
Ps on a positive note the front room smells poo free.

We have a crazy neighbour. Fabulous, warm, friendly, generous and absolutely off her head. She's about 70 I think.although she may he 50 or 120 can't really tell.

Any way I rang her up and conversation went

"hello G its me from next door. Are you well? "

"yes thank you, are you? Your hedge is massive though, its needs a cut " (our hedge is massive and really annoys our neighbours but its like a afro bush, it has soul and character and anyway its too expensive to get cut more than twice a year)

"oh yeah is massive. But on another note, can you come and smell my front room and tell me if it smells of poo?"

"be right over. I will bring some jam, made it today"

She came over, sniffed about and said

"no smells fine. But what did you have for tea? That really smells bad".

Love it.
 
I have problems with will power too. My new method is anytime I put something in my mouth that is not Sw friendly or I haven't got the syns my husband will punch me! Not hard and not from the chest up :) seems to quite effective.
 
I have been on a monster storming walk.

I jogged on and off and lunged between trees. The only thing is I now have a bad head, don't know if its too much sun but its really starting to bang.

I wonder if I am allergic to exercise?
 
Archer my husband would not DARE come between me and food, I scare him too much.


I also don't share food. Just get your own is my opinion.
 
new_mum31 said:
Thanks helen :) that has cheered me up.

I ate two of my home made yoghurts today. Both tasted of off milk. They actually tasted how I imagine elfs vomit would taste.

So I mixed in some chopped banana and it was palatable.

Legs sore after my walk. Decided to buy a off road buggy. Currently looking on Ebay and gum tree. But people seem to sell second hand ones at about a tenner less than full price.

I have a rather large problem.

Front room smells of poo.

No poo to be found.

Is it me ?I mean not me that smells of poo, but is my nose just ruined by the constant presence of Elfs deposits ...or

Is there a Hidden poo or naked bum smear somewhere?!

I have looked for ages.

Can't find anything. But hubby came in from footy and said "**** it smells of poo in here"

What to do?!!
Click to expand...

Lol - just wanted to say, I'm loving your blog. You have an amazing writing style, naturally humorous! Have to watch where I read it though as just read above 'poo' post on crowded train and started to get funny looks due to my cackling out loud. Well that's one way to create space around you on a busy train, start laughing like a crazy woman! Keep it up, and hope you found the offending poop!
 
Hi new mum, just to let you know I inhaled a lot of naughty things yesterday, I mean a lot! I feel like a rite little bloated today! It's my own fault for talking about will power methods!!! Lets just say I didn't get punched!
 
yesterday

Works night out

Minor sunstroke after THAT walk.

Kfc boxed meal

2 bags of Crisps.

Ben and jerrys

Husbands chips
 
This morning.

Woke up guilty, feeling like death. So so guilty.

Husband brings elf in, I changed her about 5am. She smells ok so we have mummy cuddles.

Elf senses guilt and reveals hidden surprise.

Nasty poo leaks all over moment she is in my bed.

Runny versus solid ratio

10:1

I deserve it.

The duvet didn't.

Currently eating formulating todays eating.


I'm off to buy a hat so I can still walk. I don't care if I look like strange Johnny who lives next door to my parents and is 40 and still lives with his mum. You know the type, plays in games work shop and always wears Chinos and trainers

and a hat in the sun

I will look like him for the sake of my waist.
 
Hello New Mum..... Loving your blog it's made me chuckle!
Re Mother-in-law, (I call mine mother-out-law) When she walks in wearing one white glove, checking for dust, you know you have problems!!
Re Hugo and his mummy, wait til elf starts school and lunch box wars begin!! Who has time to make carrot batons in the morning?
I have four children, the youngest is 8 and I'm still trying to lose my baby weight! There's no rush is there????
Can't wait to read more.... Have a good day


Sent from my eye phone using MiniMins.com mobile app
 
Hey Meridith and hazie

Welcome!

Today I have done jobs.the type that need doing around the house such as put elfs old toys in the loft ect.

And cleaned.

Boring.

Went all over looking for a nice hat. Ended up buying a cap. Well borrowing one from my dad. Its a simple gray one that still makes me look rather strange but I couldn't even find a nice straw one. Apart from a cowboy straw one. And no one wears them in my village!
 
Back to the mother in law.

I have diagnosed mental health issues, because her behaviour is soooo bat s hit crazy it must be.

However almost worse than mother in law is her son, my hubby, who is soooo scared of challenging her or saying anything its pathetic.

Example.

She told me recently that "I love my family far too much to go on holiday". The day my parents went away.

Hubby said it was not a digg at my parents.

On wednesday she said "when my children were little I loved them far too much to go to work"

I'm back at work soon.


But todays comment was my absolute favourite of the month. Hubby said he was tired as the elf is waking up a fair bit in night crying.she's hot and simply has a drink and goes back to sleep.

Mother in law actually said

"well why don't you move back home for a while so I can look after you, and so you can rest darling?"

To her 35 year old son.

Mr-no-spine didn't answer but could not meet my eye.

I said "I think you love your son a little TOO much sometimes.....(to husband)...will you be having bitty for tea or do you want me to cook?"


What a stupid bloody thing to say. MOVE BACK IN? WHAT ABOUT HIS DAUGHTER? OR WIFE?!"

bah. Ben and Jerrys is calling.
 
Pps mother in law didn't know what bitty was so I made hubby explain.

Immense
 
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