Muffy's battle with her self! 16 weeks 100% ....

i will be back on monday....

just need to jott some stuff down.

iv not been feeling too good since new year. i have really let stuff get on top of me including bills and my weight. iv gained 35lb since september and im totally disgusted in myself. i lost 30lb in my 1st 26days on lipotrim and i felt such a huge benefit from the loss. i feel huge and slobby now. i dont have anything to wear and i cant even do up my size 16 coat. im freezing when i have to go out in just leggings a vest top and 3 cardigans because thats all that will stretch over my fat! i had a home visit from health services and they have referred me to mental health team again which is a relief as i dont feel myself and it affects everyone around me. bipolar is not my friend at the moment. i sometimes find she is the only friend i have?! i find myself refering to my illness as a 2nd person because shes been with me for years and never leaves. sometimes she makes me sad/cross/angry or even really happy (too happy lol) and then theres 'muffy' who i refer to as a 3rd person. i know that 'muffy' is the person i am when im dieting and on track. i just dont seem to be able to get a hold of her right now because bipolar is taking up so much of my time :rolleyes: trying to think positive and getting some help and new medication might be just what i need? i see my doctor monday too so starting new medication and getting back to the diet should be a good positive fresh start for me.

anyhooo, hoping to be back on track monday. i want to say ill be back tomorrow but sundays are hard days to restart because of cooking the family meal on sundays is too much temptation for me. im cooking jerk chicken instead of a roast and that is way too nice to not have any!

so monday it will have to be. im going to be able to afford some shakes on wednesday so that a relief. ill order my shakes and stock up on 'safe' flavoured water. setting huge goals for the 1st few weeks. i need to lose atleast 9lb in my 1st week back so that i can keep motivated.

so here goes. muffy will hopefully be moving back in with me on monday :p but the scales are going to be a big NO! NO!they are not going to win again. i will be ts so i will lose weight. i done it in january 11 and i can do it again.

xx

:ashamed0005:
 
nomoremuffintop said:
i dont have anything to wear and i cant even do up my size 16 coat. im freezing when i have to go out in just leggings a vest top and 3 cardigans because thats all that will stretch over my fat!
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Muffy i could have written that myself. People at uni keep asking why I've stopped wearing my coat and its gotten so cold i just keep hearing 'aren't you freezing?' and I'm too ashamed to say I've gotten too fat for my coat.

I dug out my old maternity coat from before I lost the weight when i was a couple sizes bigger, its nice that its a bit big but still annoying that i can actually get away with wearing it and it doesn't look huge.

My work trousers cut into me so it looks like I have a tummy under my tummy... and my jeans barely go up....

We can do this together, I have faith in you muffy - you have been an inspiration to me, you may not stick to the diet all the time but you always keep going, whereas I just bail.

We haven't failed until we stop trying xx
 
Awww hunny I feel your pain I'm never out of my leggings and vest tops and they are summer cropped leggings apart from one pair and I'm freezing!!!!
I had to go out and buy a pair of trousers so bought a 16 and they are cutting me in half :'(
 
Chazsucks said:
Muffy i could have written that myself. People at uni keep asking why I've stopped wearing my coat and its gotten so cold i just keep hearing 'aren't you freezing?' and I'm too ashamed to say I've gotten too fat for my coat.

I dug out my old maternity coat from before I lost the weight when i was a couple sizes bigger, its nice that its a bit big but still annoying that i can actually get away with wearing it and it doesn't look huge.

My work trousers cut into me so it looks like I have a tummy under my tummy... and my jeans barely go up....

We can do this together, I have faith in you muffy - you have been an inspiration to me, you may not stick to the diet all the time but you always keep going, whereas I just bail.

We haven't failed until we stop trying xx
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Atleast you trying to restart now, not just giving up till your back to where you started. This time I have totally messed up and I feel like ill never get my head back on track? I hope you have gotten back in the swing? Ill check your diary out later on xx
 
DustQueen said:
Awww hunny I feel your pain I'm never out of my leggings and vest tops and they are summer cropped leggings apart from one pair and I'm freezing!!!!
I had to go out and buy a pair of trousers so bought a 16 and they are cutting me in half :'(
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Hey babe. I know how you feel, I went out last night and I wore a size 14 dress boots and leggings but it was skin tight and I felt huge!
My boobs almost tore the seam and it pulled under my arms but I had nothing else and I refuse to buy bigger clothes. Fingers crossed tomorrow is my day to get back in the zone? X

I really needed to get out. It all went ok until nearly 1am and we left the pub. My friend fell in the snow on to her foot! She is a big lady and the weight of her body falling onto her ankle done some major damage :eek: she laughed and asked my hubby to pull the foot round which he did even though I told him not to! they had both had a good drink and thought it was hilarious! but after we heard the crack we ended up with this!

ForumRunner_20120205_103723.jpg
(that is her left leg facing the wrong direction by the way)
I called the ambulance and went with my friend to hospital. Doctors tried to put it in the correct position twice but it didn't work as its dislocated and fractured badly in 2places. At 6am I had to go home. I left my friend waiting for an operation. I feel terrible leaving her :(
 
Oh I'm so sorry muffs, I thought that was her right leg had to double take. Hope she is ok! xx
 
Oh my god that made me wince!!
 
Hubby and I are both feeling sick now :S hope they fix her x you stating wouldn't have helped hun you got her there she's in good hands x
Tomorrow it is the missy! You me and Clair! I'm 13.5 1/2 today NO MORE!!
 
Aww your poor friend they'll fix her though an don't feel bad about leaving there's nothing you could do I jumped off the wagon last night with huge amounts of jack Daniels :-( so I'm with ya all the way well till me hols xxxx
 
charlie's~mummy said:
Aww your poor friend they'll fix her though an don't feel bad about leaving there's nothing you could do I jumped off the wagon last night with huge amounts of jack Daniels :-( so I'm with ya all the way well till me hols xxxx
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We're all starting together tomorrow Kel x we'll do it xxx
 
New plan is to update in pictures! Something different and it stops me Wittering on.. :)

I have a party to go to on march 3rd in Kent so I have 27 days to get off as much as I can...

ForumRunner_20120206_092157.jpg


Weight today is 13.7 on the dot!! My heaviest since September :( inlaws are coming to stay either this weekend or next weekend so that will be a test for me not to eat :# then valentines and James birthday are in the same week! I can do this. I done it before, I stood watching everyone eat every single day for a whole 26 days straight when I started last year and I wasn't bothered at all. I lost over 30lb in those 26 days so lets see how I far I can get this time! Good luck 'cool kids' lets start a fresh.
Monday = lets get this Doneday!

X
 
DustQueen said:
We're all starting together tomorrow Kel x we'll do it xxx
Click to expand...

Todays the day chick xx gutted I left it so late that im a whole 2 and a half stone more than I was in September but the only way I can sort that out is to get back on track! Xx lets do it!! No moaning and lots of positive thoughts. Early nights, baths, nail painting and no pulling about what we can't have to eat! Im focussing on what I can have to wear once im done xx
 
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