Muffy's battle with her self! 16 weeks 100% ....

I knw hw u feel muffy :) i start off so motivated gt in2 ketosis & then fall off.
I had a bad day yes2dy but im back on again nw.
Just habe to remember y were doin it. Im 11.10 & want to get to the 10s by sept. We have lost it b4 so we knw we can do it again hun! :)
We r so worth it!
 
That's my goal too but I just can't do it :( I can't keep saying I'll do it tomorrow. I just have to wait until I wake up 'ready' x let me know how you get on xxx
 
nomoremuffintop said:
That's my goal too but I just can't do it :( I can't keep saying I'll do it tomorrow. I just have to wait until I wake up 'ready' x let me know how you get on xxx

If your head isn't in the right place then you are probably doing the right thing hun x hopefully you'll get that drive back soon :) keep us updated anyway or we'll miss you x
 
Morning muffetts :)

I had a bar for breakfast yesterday. Was going to get my exante head on but i totally screwed up! Was planning on calorie counting which would have been good but lost count of the calories after breakfast.
Wine, cakes, nuts, cookies and crisps went down a treat last night. I also had a salad sandwich for lunch and pork, mash and peas for dinner :( I have a 'carb-over' rather than a hang over...

Want to get back to it today. But the truly irresistible seeded wholemeal batch loaf wants me to eat it!

Hubby got up for work so quietly and put the baby's tv on in his room so I wouldn't get woken up. My 5 and 8 yr old boys are staying at my parents and my 10 yr old is always quiet in the morning down stairs watching tv. So i should be relaxing. Iv got up with a belly ache then came back to bed feeling sick. Atleast I'm taking time to pop in to my diary and clear my head a bit.

My plan for today if I can manage it is to have 3 shakes and nothing else, but water. maybe mint tea...

If I can't manage that I will be as careful as possible. Id like some of my yummy bread with spicy baked beans on but I'll try to have a ws day. I might have a parcel or 2 (spoon of seasoned mince meat and mushrooms wrapped in lettuce leaves) for dinner. I'm cooking spag bol for the family so I'm not too fussed because I'm not a huge fan of that.

Just one thing I want at this moment though. To know why i have no will power?? And where the hell it has gone?? :(
 
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nomoremuffintop said:
Morning muffetts :)

I had a bar for breakfast yesterday. Was going to get my exante head on but i totally screwed up! Was planning on calorie counting which would have been good but lost count of the calories after breakfast.
Wine, cakes, nuts, cookies and crisps went down a treat last night. I also had a salad sandwich for lunch and pork, mash and peas for dinner :( I have a 'carb-over' rather than a hang over...

Want to get back to it today. But the truly irresistible seeded wholemeal batch loaf wants me to eat it!

Hubby got up for work so quietly and put the baby's tv on in his room so I wouldn't get woken up. My 5 and 8 yr old boys are staying at my parents and my 10 yr old is always quiet in the morning down stairs watching tv. So i should be relaxing. Iv got up with a belly ache then came back to bed feeling sick. Atleast I'm taking time to pop in to my diary and clear my head a bit.

My plan for today if I can manage it is to have 3 shakes and nothing else, but water. maybe mint tea...

If I can't manage that I will be as careful as possible. Id like some of my yummy bread with spicy baked beans on but I'll try to have a ws day. I might have a parcel or 2 (spoon of seasoned mince meat and mushrooms wrapped in lettuce leaves) for dinner. I'm cooking spag bol for the family so I'm not too fussed because I'm not a huge fan of that.

Just one thing I want at this moment though. To know why i have no will power?? And where the hell it has gone?? :(

Oh Hun :( hope today goes well for you x
My weight went up again today, damn crisps and wine :( did you enjoy yours?
I think someone stole our willpower :(
 
Hiya Muffy

Sounds like your having a bit of a hard time of it at the mo Hun :( but the fact that you keep trying makes you a winner in my books. Just keep at it hun, you'll get there xx
 
Thanks babe I'm definitely trying but failing every day at the moment. I Haven't posted in this diary for a week! The NEW diary was meant to be a fresh start but it's not working out that well... Day 1 AGAIN. Looks like I'm still going to be fat at 30! X
 
Thanks for the hug cg. I just ate a slice of pizza.... Not going to keep binging though. A slice if pizza has to be it, I have to learn to stop even if I mess up I have to just put it behind me and not use it as an excuse to eat more for the rest of the day. Xx
 
nomoremuffintop said:
Thanks for the hug cg. I just ate a slice of pizza.... Not going to keep binging though. A slice if pizza has to be it, I have to learn to stop even if I mess up I have to just put it behind me and not use it as an excuse to eat more for the rest of the day. Xx

I didn't keep on 'binging' but I did eat something else. I had a slice of bread with a scraping of jam on it before bed to take tablets because I had a migrain and I was feeling sick and dizzy (took migraleave) ended up throwing up because the migrain got so bad I was really nauseous and couldn't sleep. I'm feeling a bit better today but very tired and dull pounding in my head and aching neck. Fingers crossed I don't get bad again today. I ended up crying myself to sleep at 2am!

Banana shake had so far today. Wish I'd waited a bit longer because I really fancy a bar now :( hope everyone else is having a good Sunday.
 
Oh muffy, i knw hw ur feelin its not been easy 4me past few days even tho im fasting all day... But 2dy was a gud dy. I wnt to lose at least a stone by my birthday in sept aswell so im really tryin hard 2 do wat i cn 2 stay on this diet. Hun we cn do this we jus nid 2 reprogramme our brains again in2 hw we did whn we 1st started.
We cn do this & be hot sexy birthday babes :)

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so, i woke up and thought i was ready but after weighing myself i was so upset that im now 12 and a half stone again that i couldnt have felt any lower this morning. i thought id be ok and that i was going to focus so i made a 1200ml strawberry shake and then without thinking i ate last nights left over chinese for lunch :'(

i dont seem to be able to control myself and i dont know what to do. i have tried 'having a break' but that doesnt help because i just gained a whole stone over the last 8 weeks instead of making me feel any better.
ok, so im bipolar. i just admitted to everyone that i have a mental illness that sometimes stops me from making decisions. i had to or you would all think im just pathetic and i only want the attention. i dont and i really want to be like the lovely Clair and Carly! i want to be ts again. i want to feel my tummy grumbling at night in bed again. i want to be posting great posts and having a giggle with everyone and i want to be seeing my scales change every day just like they used to.

but most of all i want to feel part of minimins and be able to give some inspiration again. people saw me sail threw months and lose stones but now i cant even give encouragment because i feel too fed up and deflated that i cant be bothered to make an effort.
im trying to stay away because i feel im a bad example to others struggling or just making it look like its a bad idea to anyone here looking for advice. but if im not here i cant stick to exante because i feel alone on my journey. i cant win.

maybe i could just delete all my posts and start a fresh from today? like a newbie again starting tomorrow as day 1?

:'(

i just needed to type. but it hasnt made anything any clearer. x
 
nomoremuffintop said:
so, i woke up and thought i was ready but after weighing myself i was so upset that im now 12 and a half stone again that i couldnt have felt any lower this morning. i thought id be ok and that i was going to focus so i made a 1200ml strawberry shake and then without thinking i ate last nights left over chinese for lunch :'(

i dont seem to be able to control myself and i dont know what to do. i have tried 'having a break' but that doesnt help because i just gained a whole stone over the last 8 weeks instead of making me feel any better.
ok, so im bipolar. i just admitted to everyone that i have a mental illness that sometimes stops me from making decisions. i had to or you would all think im just pathetic and i only want the attention. i dont and i really want to be like the lovely Clair and Carly! i want to be ts again. i want to feel my tummy grumbling at night in bed again. i want to be posting great posts and having a giggle with everyone and i want to be seeing my scales change every day just like they used to.

but most of all i want to feel part of minimins and be able to give some inspiration again. people saw me sail threw months and lose stones but now i cant even give encouragment because i feel too fed up and deflated that i cant be bothered to make an effort.
im trying to stay away because i feel im a bad example to others struggling or just making it look like its a bad idea to anyone here looking for advice. but if im not here i cant stick to exante because i feel alone on my journey. i cant win.

maybe i could just delete all my posts and start a fresh from today? like a newbie again starting tomorrow as day 1?

:'(

i just needed to type. but it hasnt made anything any clearer. x

Oh sweetheart x
Nobody thinks you are pathetic I can guarantee that! And you say you'd like to be like me but although I have now done 3 days TS (yes that's all) I have been on this diet for 6 months and only lost 2 stone! Now that is pathetic!
So sorry you are upset hunny :( sending you all my love
Do what is right for yourself I don't worry about being a bad influence etc you need to do what is best for you x
You seem to struggle with things in the fridge can you either remove the tempting food or put a fat picture on the fridge to stop you opening it? Sorry if none of this is useful :( but not sure I could resist cold Chinese in the fridge right now :(
Xxx lots of love xxx
 
Aw Muffy, sorry your feeling so bad right now :( loads o hugs being sent your way.

What about if you done Lipotrim again? Only short term, Weren't you struggling before and went on lipotrim for a week? I remember something about lipotrim just can't remember exactly what lol

Right you wanna lose this last bit of weight and we're here to help you. No way do we think your pathetic remember we've all been here!!
What about if you break yourself in slowly? Maybe do a week of ss then a week of WS then onto TS? Maybe that way it's not going from one extreme to the other, if you see what im saying?
Oh I don't think I'm helping now :( whatever you decide we're here to help ya. We've got your back ;)
Loves ya Muffster xx
 
Oh muffy ... I swear I could have written all that myself that's EXACTLY how I feel right now... One thing for sure is your not pathetic Hun ... I guess sometimes these things just happen blips and all that ... I'm so sorry I don't have any thing more to add I feel totally useless right now... Ive been trying to restart for god knows how many days.. It's just not clicking ... So I'm attempting day 1 today we can only but keep trying.. Sorry I don't have much to say Hun but I know deep down u can do it.. We are all here for you chick this weightloss journey is a rollercoaster but it will be worth it soon.

Lots of love and hugs babe,

X x x
 
Aww hon :( your post really touched my heard, just like precious I have felt the same, just trying day 1 again today, it's so tough and I don't think I could say anything you haven't heard before so I won't. Just thinking of ya, do what makes you happy now and figure out the rest later. (((big hugs )))
 
Hey muffy, I too am struggling. Well I gave up really. I decided to take a break over the summer but I've put on 2 of the 2 1/2 stone I'd lost. I can't seem to get the willpower to start again. I just like food too much. All we can do is try hun. Everyone's here to support you -through the good days & the bad xo

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Hey. Thanks for the replies. Iv made it through A whole 24 hours :D not even been near anything naughty as of yet I'm finding it ok. On way home from food shopping in asda. I had a biggest loser bar while shopping and I didn't buy anything for myself. Scales are going to my mums again so no weighing until my birthday! I'm looking forward to the surprise. Have a good day everyone. I'll try to catch up on diarys tonight x
 
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