Am tucked up in bed at end of day 4... Did a personal training session today (1hour & outdoors in rubbish weather) I actually don't kno how I got through it lol. This for me isn't just about lbs...
It's about changing my shape and setting me up for when Cambridge ends in about 4 weeks (only have 1st 13lbs left to go!!!) and building my fitness levels and giving me a base to start healthy eating & exercise for life... I kno that when I stop Cambridge I will put on about 6lbs, I've done that twice before, but it does start coming off again the week after and I've got to accept it and continue working hard.
I was in the newspapers a couple of months ago- as apparently I looked like Natalie Cassidy (Sonia from eastenders) and 'apparentely' I spent 12k to not look like her (I didn't, story mostly rubbish lol but I got paid & needed the money lol) anyway my picture was published and the comments left on daily mail website r awful- so insulting n made me feel crap. Then this morning tv show offered me to have a make over from looking like Sonia from eastenders which was great fun, but backstage I really struggled to fit into a size 18.... Soooo humiliating!!!! I still have the dress I wore on there n it's getting bigger n bigger (I'm getting smaller & smaller)
Hunger Wise I've been fine today, but been stuck in & bored so actually today has dragged, and I prepared a really healthy dinner for kids -fresh chicken pieces with a BBQ glaze, roasted peppers, rice & peas and potato wedges... Ok not that healthy lol but it did make me think about the way I want my diet to b when Cambridge is finished. Would rather b busy, out & about & forgetting about food:-/
I got my man to take a pic of me in my undies- and it's totally unlike me, but I'm embarrassed:-( I really am, my stomach actually looks deformed
I kno that I've had 5 kids n it's gonna b- but it's shockingly disgusting. I feel absolutely gross and have no idea how my poor man can bare to look at me with my wobbly tummy, apron of fat :-( I'm disgusted- but ykno what I'm gonna post it in my diary
<img src="http://www.minimins.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=52034"/>
I posted it (and am DYING OF EMBARRASSMENT) but want to do it so u can all see it, and b on my journey with me & also so I have it on record and can happily show u the new me when I'm at goal.....any comments welcome- I can't feel any worse about my disgustingly fat body :-/