My Loss = My gain and His loss -new hair photo added

[Aaleigha]

It's good to hear that the doc is pleased with your progress, in fact you are ahead of shedule !! all good stuff.
As for the diet, well I know you are eager but dont try to run before you can walk-and yes that pun was fully intended LOL

thanks for reminding me

it is good to hear and I deliberately took Dh with me so he could hear what the surgeon said - as I know I will get frustrated and try to push too hard again - ( I am looking forward to buying a nice journal to put days out in so I can see the progress over time - I will get something from everywhere we go so I can stick it in to prove I did it - a photo a ticket post card something - just so I have something lovely to look back on and then I can also remind myself if I need the other one done

Do what your doc says, you getting better and healing up is the most important thing And brilliant to hear how well you are doing!

I have to say as well - the comment about the sleepy puppy noises made me melt a bit hehe. Soooo cute! <3

Kaydan now has a tendency to sleep more deeply and it is then he makes cute puppy noises - I think he is dreaming pleasant thoughts as they are not frantic scared noises = perhaps he has been here long enough to do that now

so in the afternoon we took Kaydan to the vets and he has his once over - got the ok and his first injection ALL the frontline staff were brilliant and all wanted to cuddle - one of the young boys who had brought his cat in with his mum - said he was the cutest puppy ever and wanted one - BUT such a sensible boy - Mum if I prove to you I can look after kitikat properly please can we have a puppy like that - Mum just looked at him - and I said perhaps mum will THINK about it when you are older and have looked after your puss cat for a while - the lad was preening himself telling his mother his plan of action for looking after the cat -- I have to say I feel a little sorry for the cat


today I have to say I feel much better than the last couple of days
I think seeing the surgeon was going to be quite stressful for me due to my feelings of not healing - even though I am and that was stressing me out and causing the low feelings - something I can look out for in the future - I will get the rescue remedy out before such events

so positives

my mood has lifted
I am motivated to deep clean a room or two of the house (cant do it all in a day)
the sun is shining - that of course is also helping the mood


ps deep clean will be done with my new steam cleaner - as each room is done it will also be sprayed with flea stuff

 

[HPSaucy]

Sorry to hear you've been feeling down, that's great news from the consultant though and I like the idea of the journal. As for dieting does he mean he doesn't want you to lose weight or mentally he doesn't think you're up to it? Because we all know that SW isn't really a diet just a healthy eating plan so you might still be able to get away with doing that, obviously if it was that easy I'd be a svelte size 8!

Hope you have a good day today, take care x

 

[Aaleigha]

Yes I am off to town today and I will buy the journal

I think he doesnt understand sw - but also I am wondering myself if at the moment it will put too much stress on me
afterall bursting into tears - even if my hair is carp - is perhaps not the sign of someone who is completely stable- I have to admit to being a bit wobbly

also its the coming off heavy duty meds takes it out of your body and especially the liver - so ANY weight loss will also put stress on the liver due to what is released along with the fat - I did mention milk thistle and lots of water - but he just shook his head - so now my DH has put his foot down and told me to do what I am told - he NEVER does that I ALWAYS get my own way (yes I know that means I am spoilt) so when on the very very rare occasion we want different things I will let D have his own way :0

doesnt mean I cant plan meals and keep them as low cal sw friendly as possible just not cut down on portion sizes as well - so we will see - if I can keep my weight stable for a while that would be good

consultant says after a major op NO one should try to reduce calories - unless it is barbaric surgery - I even argue the point that the knee would appreciate it - he is also of the opinion that as I can do more the weight will start to drop if I can keep it stable now then the extra activity will mean a calorie reduction


so for at least the end of this week I will do as I am told


so for today I am off to get my hair done I have 6 pictures and our existing one - that I would have had come xmas but now wont be for a minimum of a year and to be honest I am unsure if I can be dealing with that

so I long consult with N over coffee is in order but I have to get rid of what I have now

and I have to give her crochet lessons too so will be taking down a hook two books and some really scrumptious yarn

 

[missy1978]

I think you do need to do what you are told this time hehe! I know what you mean though, I'm the same and I know I'd be impatient to get things moving too. It sounds like you are doing brilliantly though, don't forget how far you have come already, even since the start of this diary. The journey is the destination and all that! xxx

 

[Aaleigha]

thank you darling
do I need to feel ganged up upon

I know I should do what I am told but its very frustrating to be sitting on the sofa with my feet up

anyway I am off to town later - that is about as far as I can drive
I will be going to the bank and wilkinsons and that is about it - then off for the walk to the hairdressers - depending on where I can park I will decide if to walk to the hairdressers or to repark the car

its such a lovely day today I am quite looking forward to going to town I will be taking a walking stick - even if I dont use it I am not confident enough to leave it at home yet - thank goodness it folds up and goes in my bag for when I dont need it - it would look odd to carry it

 

[JackieN]

This may be your diary but you do have to do as told for the time being :bighug: :bighug: So behave :bighug: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Aaleigha]

Hey Jackie can I call you 'MUM'

I will do as I am told with trying to do a little more each day- or even alternate days that way I get adequate rest
I have not slept for 4 nights - most unusual I was doing so well with sleep - I know the lack of sleep wont help my mental state
when Kaydan can do pavement walking that will be time enough for me to work harder - for me now rest and healing is the order of the day - when I go on holiday friday 21st onwards Kaydan will be able to do short walks and then carrying so that is the plan I will not even contemplate cutting down on food until after my holiday that will be time to think about it all again

 

[mommyB]

Afternoon H, just dropping by with a big squishie hug for yourself and Kayden !!

 

[HPSaucy]

Morning H, you definitely need to be doing what you've been told then, glad hubby's on the case, you need to look after yourself and get fighting fit. Hope you have a lovely day today x

 

[JackieN]

you still not sleeping well lovely :bighug: so know what thats like not nice :bighug:


Have you tried melatonin?? Its fab and well worth getting some. I take it after 2 or 3 nights of iffy sleep and works everytime for me

How are you feeling today? Hows pupster? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Aaleigha]

thank you ladies

so where am I at

I must say the appointment with the surgeon was a bit of a hit - I honestly thought he would be on my side and tell me to keep going - not on the side of dh who keeps telling me I am expecting too much

and my hair is so ***** - it is really causing me problems - I am not leaving the house unless it is covered - N did a good job and most people would be more than happy- me NOT it is nothing like me at all it is BORING I dont do boring hair and never have done - its really not good to be feeling so uncomfortable in your own hair and to have people who know you comment like - wtf is going on who the hell cut it this time - did you really ask for it to be like that - weight is an issue but people who know you accept that - hair is another issue and those that know me KNOW how I feel about my hair

as for puppy
in the two weeks he has been with us
he has mastered laminate
he uses his paper
he has mastered running
and he has found out how much nicer cat food is

more to come later
I will take a couple of photos so you can all see if you think he has changed much

 

[missy1978]

Can't wait to see more puppy pics! He's sooo cute <3 And this comes from a cat person! x

 

[Redpam]

Evening, H.

I am sorry things have not been going too well for you lately.

In June I asked our doctor to review Mums medication as she was so sleepy all the time and yet still complaining of being in so much pain with her arthritis. One of the things his changed was her pain medication and prescribed Zaldiar which is 37.5mg of Tramadol and 325mg of paracetamol. She can have up to three per day if neccessary but she usually only needs one per day which is a great improvement on the previous meds. Plus she is no longer complaining of being in pain. Plus I now have a much more lively Mum. Perhaps you could ask your Doctor if he could prescribe something like that that has no withdrawal symptoms.

As for healing, you may not be aware that Mum had a very bad fall the day before Christmas which resulted in a deep gash in her leg. For a while we all thought she would lose her leg but it has healed beautiful allbeit that it took 6 months. The specialist wounds nurse said that protein is very important for healing and should be increased when the body is healing itself. I am not very up on vegetarian diets but perhaps it would help if you increased the vegetarian protein in your diet. And I believe you know that fresh pineapple is also very very good to help the body heal.

Grr to the bad haircut but it will look better before you know it. Very bad manners for people to comment on it I think.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend and give Kaydan a lovely big hug from me.

((((hugs))))

Pam xxx

 

[JackieN]

bah humbug to the bad hair cut thats awful and its so hard when you know what you want and can't have it. Can you have a vibrant colour on it lovely. Would that help? I want the red back in mine as its too boring :giggle: what are we like.

Good news on the pupster

sending huggles lovely lady :bighug: xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Aaleigha]

I dont think a vibrant colour will help at this point it will only accentuate the awful cut it is - so need to live with it for some weeks to have enough to do something with
my problem is how to get through the next few weeks without any tears- as it is so bringing my mood down - you would think a more experienced stylist would be better wouldnt you but she is obviously carp and I know it now

 

[JackieN]

all been there darling. What about a really funky scarf used abit like a head band so not so noticeable? Have to show us a piccie so we can help :bighug: It will soon grow mate and won't go to that stylist again eh? I know how you feel as when my hairdresser had an accident someone else cut my hair and it was terrible I hated it and it was too short to do much with xxxxxx

 

[Aaleigha]

Pam that was so rude I missed your message totally - I am so sorry

I am sorry to hear about Mum but so glad she is on the road to recovery

I will definitely up the protein - I did know this but after the first couple of weeks I forgot so will have a scoop of protein shake a couple of times a day and maybe use rose elliots low carb high protein recipes for vegetarians for a meal or two a week

Jackie I did knit a lovely scarf and that has had very positive reviews with two strangers asking where I got it

I am on the third missed dose of the tamadol and I was on an exceedingly high dose for three years so I cut down to half over a couple of weeks and now I am on third missed dose

I am cold I have a headache I feel sick and it feels like things are crawling on me I am not sleeping - also my anxiety depression are rearing their very ugly heads - this too could be withdrawal - so too could be the trauma over my hair - perhaps I need to take a step back and realise that although I now look like a million other people on the high street ( and that is so not me) my hair is obviously acceptable to many so perhaps I should just think if its ok for others its ok for me till it grows

puppy will have a photo shoot today I didnt have time yesterday

today we are supposed to go to a car boot sale then shopping I am unsure I can do both = but if I make the effort to do both I will be so shattered later I will sleep

so decision to be made asap

 

[HPSaucy]

Morning, sorry to hear you're still not feeling great, silly question but could you buy a funky wig to wear out until your hair grows a bit? I know a decent one is expensive but if it makes you feel better it might be worth it.

Hope you have a lovely day whatever you decide to do, just don't do too much x

 

[Aaleigha]

Helen I have been thinking wigs - so although it might seem a bit of an odd suggestion its nice to know I am not the only one thinking along such lines

as I say what I have many would be pleased with but its just so boring and so not like me - when I was in the depths of depression I never left the house without my hair done and my makeup on they became my security blankets - it enabled me to function in both the work place and out and about as it was like an acting role - this is the person I am portraying - that person allowed me to be brave and leave the house - so my hair being like it is is rather like going out nude - I feel very vulnerable - really hard to try to explain this to others - so I have to live with it I have no choice - perhaps it was meant to be - it will teach me that the vulnerable me is stronger than I think she is - she did go out today and see people (car boot sale) with a puppy in a bag - so everyone wanted to stop and chat and I coped I spoke with them - total strangers who do not know what my hair was like before and they didnt look at me as if I had two heads so obviously they saw nothing wrong - knowing this means I have to learn to live with it for a bit longer - or find a really funky short style and start growing it down again - knowing I can cope will help

think I will do some inner child work later and watch a wonderful lecture by brene brown - the power of vulnerability

still no heavy duty meds have passed my lips - just got to see if I can do this if not back to docs for a lower dose - but if I can get through the next few days I should be fine

my hair has gone from NEARLY this (not as long but would be there by xmas)


to this

 

[HelenG]

:hug99:
Take care and don't do too much