Monday 2nd October
Today my daughter was on the first of three occasions this week where she stays all day at infant school (she doesn’t actually go full time until the end of October) so today was going to be a bit of a test for me. On the way to Asda to get some more salad and veggies (this eating lark is proving more expensive than I thought) I went into town and bought another pair of combat trousers because my size 14’s fall down and I doubled in weight taking my daughter to school because they soaked up all the puddles. The 12’s I tried were too big round the waist but the 10’s gave me a muffin top and I hate it when I see girls in hipsters with big rolls of skin squeezed out the top as it looks disgusting, buying one size up is far more flattering. Having come home and worn my new ones for a while, I think I will go back and buy the size 10’s as well because my skin is definitely shrinking back and not only that but these trousers have relaxed now I have been in them for ½ an hour. Ay only 14 quid they were a bargain!
Having had an off the rails moment yesterday, the last thing I want to do is get into the mindset of ‘Oh well, I can always go back to ssing for a week or two to get back to my goal weight if I need to’. I am desperately striving towards having a healthy attitude towards food which means you don’t have to be good all of the time, just most of it. Ssing is great for losing weight in the first place but isn’t a lifestyle choice. I liken it a bit like using the morning after pill as a contraceptive measure, you might have to do so very occasionally but it shouldn’t be relied on to put right the wrongs. Mind you, I still have to test myself in the real world of food and I am just starting to find out how difficult that is and that is before I have even entered into the trigger food stages of the programme. BUM!
My goal each day is to tick all the right boxes on the list at the bottom of each post, I have added a few on for good measure. If I have to engage the controlling parent for a while then so be it, anything to get me back on track and in the habit.
A friend of mine was relating a conversation she and her neighbour had about me and her neighbour called me ‘tiny’. When I said I’d never been called ‘tiny’ before but that I was flattered anyway, my friend referred me back to my shopping trip this morning and pointed out that a size 10 trousers for someone my height made me tiny. I don’t believe it and pointed out that I was still 10st 10lbs with a 30.5 inch waist which could hardly be classed as tiny. All I can think of is that the sizes have changed since the last time I was slim and that I am the equivalent of a size 14 from then. I don’t think I’m tiny, I think I am relatively slim compared to others but I still have ‘issues’ with my muffin top and toning. The only way I am going to be able to deal with these issues is by actually taking the bull by the horns and doing something about it. No more self sabotaging close to my goal, I have to get comfortable with the new me although I am pretty close to feeling that now. I can’t help thinking about that programme where they line up 10 women and you have to point out where you would be in the line. I don’t think I’d be able to do that yet because I can’t do comparisons.
Breakfast: Mushroom soup with Psyllium husks a splash of soy sauce. Lunch: 225grms of red cabbage with lemon & salt dressing, cucumber and cauliflower. Snack: Lemon bar made into biscuits. Dinner: more red cabbage with Salmon mousse made from smoked salmon mixed with quark, milk, ginger, lemon juice and black pepper.
Morning weight: 10st 10.2lbs – could be worse!
Activity: Walked a fair bit down town and to and from school.
Water: Good. 4 consistent litres
Toning: None again. Must do better.
I ate whilst doing nothing else: No, not for any meal.
I completed the LL homework: Nope.
I stuck to the listed food and quantity: Yes but ate too much of it so I couldn’t get my last pack in.
Weight: Officially 10st 12lbs or 152lbs BMI 23.8 having drunk 1L
Day 9 of the route to management.