Hiya,
Trauma in our family. I'm going to be an auntie.
Don't congratulate me. My parents are very, very upset. My brother seems possibly to be happy despite loathing all children all his life, (hard to tell as we can't get him separately to talk to, a bit late now anyway!) He's been dating this girl 9 years & engaged since 2000 but they went through some times where my brother loathed her and I'm pretty sure was seeing someone else. Every time he tried to break up with her she would cry and drive home. She manipulated him & wore him down. They moved into a rented house last January and we've been waiting praying that this wouldn't happen. My mum is Christian and is very upset that they won't be married but since she doesn't particularly like the girl or think she's right for him so doesn't like the idea of that either so who knows? My brother only earns about 18 grand (he's 28) so with rent, commuting to London, food & bills I really don't see how he can possibly afford this. My dad can see a future of being asked to help with money and after they got off the phone last night it was like a wake. Desolation, foreboding, fear and despair. I think he's made a huge mistake.
She spent the first couple of years gradually sliding him further & further under the thumb until he resented her as he had no right to do anything, then he spent a long time angry, avoiding her, working late to not see her, congratulating himself on only having seen her once in a fortnight etc. and trying to stretch it out as long as possible before he had to see her again. His mobile stopped working, I lent him a spare of mine and when I got it back it had lots of messages of love & devotion from another girl on it. He was trying to dump her for months but she hung up or ran home crying and it never happened. Finally about 2 years ago it started to get better but was still quite tentative for a long time. She eased off because he refused to take being under the thumb. Finally about 9 years after their relationship started they moved into a rented house last January and then moved again a few weeks ago as their contract had finished. They have short memories where unfortunately we can't get past her terrible family and remember the bad days. I actually cried after they hung up because he's ruined his life. (her family throw things at each other in arguments, her younger sister was married, divorced & a mother by 16, her older brother had a kid, got married, borrowed an £8000 bankloan from her to pay for his wedding as he couldn't get credit then found his new wife was sleeping with the lodger and threw them both out & stopped paying her back. It's like a soap opera in their house & my parents want nothing to do with them. Her mother got breast cancer, FINALLY stopped smoking and then started again and my brother reeks every time he comes home from there you can smell him coming... What sort of a life is that for a kid?)
Anyway enough.
I SERIOUSLY considered eating a lot last night but I couldn't be bothered to go out and get anything fattening as it was too late at night so I didn't break it and this is today my sixth day in a row.
Anyway onwards and downwards.
Love Anja xxx
