Sorry I haven't posted folks, I've just been ploughing on.
Last time I posted I was about to have a day off and go shopping. Terrible day ! I tried on a nice little skirt and jumper and it didn't look too bad. I figured that a few more weeks and it would look great.....then I looked up
Don't know if it was the bad lighting in the changing room but I suddenly saw a tired, haggard old face above a really cute outfit.....Aargh ! Mutton dressed as lamb !!!!! I nearly cried
Went straight out of the shop to Selfridges food hall. I bought a huge box of Baklava, a big tub of buffalo mozzarella and some soda bread and butter and ate myself into oblivion
I was so disgusted at myself but tried to put it behind me. I, quite literally clawed my way back into ketosis by studying the Atkins info on here, did CD when I could and when I had to eat I ate Atkins, gradually bringing it down in fat and salt content.
By last wed I was just showing ketosis but weight was up to 10.11 (with TOTM) so not happy but could have been worse.
I had a good chat with my London CDC who was wonderful and reminded me that at this time of the year our bodies are trying to lay down fat supplies for the winter so, on CD, not only are we fighting our bodies on a daily basis, we are fighting an evolutionary survival strategy.
I mentioned that when on CD I felt in control but now, wavering and failing I was feeling really out of control so she suggested I think about trying to regain control through other means and we decided that me sorting out my finances and my cottage would really help.
She also suggested I find a piece of clothing I was really aiming for and bring it back to London with me as inspiration.
Thursday I managed SS but with 5 packs, and frid was the start of my weekend home at my cottage. I was busy preparing and travelling so easily managed SS with 3 packs and, when I got home, instead of flopping down in a chair, I started tidying my front room (full of boxes from moving house), as part of me taking control of something in my life again. It felt, and looked good
After that I went upstairs, got every bag and box of clothing from the spare room dumping ground, tipped it out on my bed and tried everything on. I then threw them onto one of 3 piles, Way too small, Nearly there, and It Fits. Well you could have knocked me down with a feather when nearly 2/3rds of my clothes fitted !!!???
and the other 2 pile were fairly even
I was so chuffed I carried on and cleared/ sorted the spare room so things are at least accessible and went to bed feeling great.
After that it was easier to do SS and the lbs started dropping too. By the time I was back in London on sunday I was down 3lbs to 10.8 and weigh in today showed another 3 gone so am now 10st 5
It hasn't been easy but I've been sort of daring myself to do just 1 more day without cheating to see if I can lose just 1 more lb.
I gave myself a treat today of a rocket salad with balsamic and parmesan, with plenty of M&S roast chicken. I deliberately left the skin on so as to make it a proper treat, and still stay in ketosis, and it was lovely. Going to bed now, happy, full and pretty proud of myself. I am now 7lbs from goal and fully intend to get there somehow, even if it means clawing my way painfully through the mins, hrs and days, with 1 eye on ketosis and the other on the scales.
Hope you are all finding it easier than me but if not....DON'T GIVE UP !!!!! You are soooo worth the effort
