New year, same me; just less wobbly + Project 52!

The bereavement has made me more determined to shift the weight Steve. The Uncle who died was 54 and as fit as a fiddle. Had never smoked, had a few beers of a weekend but that's all and was in the army until he was 38. If he can go suddenly even though he's been pretty well behaved over the years, what is in store for me?? :eek:

I was doing pretty well this week, most of my syn have gone on alcohol but I was within limit. Between the death and the birthday I did darned well, until last night when (slightly tipsy) I gorged myself on an entire garlic bread. Bloody disgusted with myself, this is another reason to give up drinking entirely!! So I get weighed in tomorrow, hopefully it won't be the end of the world. I've tried to make up for it today and will do tomorrow too. Then I'll carry on with the proper diary, so I stop making ridiculous food choices at 4am!! :break_diet:
 
I have no idea why but I have avoided this diary like the plague. I've come to the forum with every intention of writing something and then just couldn't bring myself too- I have no idea what is up with me :cry:

I haven't been naughty in the slightest. At WI on thurs I lost 1lb, which I was pleased about given that it's * week and I've had all sorts of problems with poo.

I've been reasonably well behaved since WI. Had a few G&T's on friday and some Jamaican rice and peas with coconut milk in tonight- all quite naughty syn wise but nothing too drastic.

I've got this funeral on tuesday so I wonder if that is wha is knocking me? I am detirmined to behave myself. I was contemplating taking food with me, as weird as that might be, but buffet sandwhiches are always laden with butter, plus the hot food will be max fat and not so tasty. :confused:

And P52 has gone out the window! Week 3 and I've gone off soup :cry: so I will make a batch sporadically for work purposes but couldn't cope with it day in, day out.

So...I'm writing crap for the sake of it. Here is to the day when I re-ignite my passion for my food diary :gen157:
 
Hey, you've had a tough time recently and i think under the circumstances you are doing extremely well, don't give yourself a hardtime, we are here to help or just listen if you need us xx
 
Well this is going to be a bit of a mardy post; apologies in advance.

It's been a hard week to say the least. * week, the whole poo saga and a close family death. I've been a bit mardy all weekend- couldnt bring myself to go out yesterday and burst into tears every time OH looked at me. Was supposed to go to a party last night, instead let my friends down and didn't go. In a complete turnaround, took the dog for a really long walk today in the freezing cold, just because I didn't want to go home! Can't explain what is going through my brain, can't even explain what specifically has set me off, I'm just not myself.

I've pondered death all day- that's hardly cheered me up, then felt guilty when I've wandered into thoughts such as "would it be weird to take food to a funeral?". After a foray into the forum about conception last night I've thought a lot about that too- a subject that I haven't pondered much in the past few months.

I'e spent a lot of time thinking about where I am, as a person. I've always been confident and I've always worked at my appearance- it's necessary in my line of work. Even though I've always been overweight, I always dressed in a kind of vintage rockabilly style and since getting to a size 18 I haven't; most of my clothes are now from Asda or New Look and lack any kind of personality. I used to always find the money to get my hair and nails done, to have a tan, a wax...I do none of that anymore and it's kinda depressing. Is this all down to putting on weight? Not only am I now fat, I'm also pale and hairy with crap hair and nails :eek: Have I lost confidence? Am I dreading this funeral because I was always the good-looking, succesful one and now I'm not? (sorry to blow my own trumpet there, but I really was!)

I've never attributed losing 2 babies to putting on weight, but in many ways it must have. I was the same size for most of my adult life, then that happened and now I'm a heifer. I saw a counsellor for a while and honestly thought I was over this- apparently not.

So maybe what I need to do is not just lose weight but to totally overhaul my life. I love my OH, he is the loveliest person, but in being so nice he tells me it's ok to put a few pounds on, not make an effort: "I like you with no makeup on!" he tells me. Well I don't!! Not because I think I need it, I accept that I'm quite good looking, but it's my job and I'm great at it- there is nothing more rewarding than having someone stop me on the street or in asda or the pub toilet and tell me how fab I look, how brilliant my makeup is. I'm a walking advertisement, goddammit!

Anyway, besides all this hormonal depression I've been quite good on the diet. Tried Mama Mia's Jamaican Jerk Chicken with Rice & Peas last night, had a wonderful roast today. Stuck to the superfree and managed not to snack. If there is one thing I'm completely in control of it's my diet- at least that is something to be glad of!
 
Oi Jez come on where is that positive plan gone on page 1?
These things are sent to try us and try us they bloody do.
Sorry but I had to laugh at this """Not only am I now fat, I'm also pale and hairy with crap hair and nails """ It sounds like my mood at the moment (also TOM)
Your other half sounds like my hubby (bless him)
You are having a naff time all round don't beat yourself up (((hugs)))
 
Come on now Jez don't beat yourself up, hold your head up high and know this time in a few weeks/months you will look completely different!

Why don't you treat yourself to a manicure and a hair appointment (money permitting of course) you deserve it xx
 
Apologies Ladies...

I nearly gave up on this diary, but I lost 2.5lbs at WI last night so feeling a bit better about things :D

I've had a load of "Have you been losing weight? You can tell!" comments this week which has spurred me on. It's only 8.5lbs total but it's obviously made a difference- plus I got a pair of jeans on that haven't fitted me (well, they fastened but gave me a camel toe :rolleyes:) since well before Xmas.

I have really enjoyed all of our meals this week- tried Mama Mia's No Fry KFC Chicken and had a couple of lovely microwave bag lunches as reccommended by other SW'ers. Went to a funeral (always a big drinking occasion in this family) and managed to keep syns under 30- that included a salad which unwittingly cost me 17 syns because of the bloody dressing!!

I truly felt **** last week- so I'm glad i've got through it. I realised that when I'm in control of my food I manage to keep my entire life under control too :)

High point of the week- had a busy couple of days last weekend, had to spend all day friday working in Manchester then get the train straight over to Sheffield to work at 6am the next day. I was so super prepared that I didn't consume a single syn during the whole fiasco and I can honestly say that I didn't feel hungry once :bliss:
 
Come on now Jez don't beat yourself up, hold your head up high and know this time in a few weeks/months you will look completely different!

Why don't you treat yourself to a manicure and a hair appointment (money permitting of course) you deserve it xx

I took your advice and did both!! Hair no longer looks like a mop and got my nails Shellac-ed, so that's a good few weeks where I don't have to worry about my nails looking shabby ;)

I'm still hairy though- Chewbacca eat your heart out!!
 
Just found your diary Jez!



Go you! This is exactly the kind of thing that throws most of us out but you didnt and thats a massive achievement - good work hun! x

Thankyou GTBSS :D
 
What the hell is going on?

It's friday night, OH has gone out. I usually invest in a bottle of wine, a box of chocs and a DVD. Instead I'm munching on pineapple and considering doing a bit of Zumba, to be followed by bath and bed.

:innocent0002:
 
Hiya, keep seeing you around here so thought I'd pop in and give you some support - congrats on your loss so far! Glad you're feeling more positive this week :) Hope it stays that way!
 
JezVonSavage said:
It's friday night, OH has gone out. I usually invest in a bottle of wine, a box of chocs and a DVD. Instead I'm munching on pineapple and considering doing a bit of Zumba, to be followed by bath and bed.

:innocent0002:

Nowt wrong with that!

The Zumba part might be a bit mental, but there's still hope for you yet! x
 
Glad you are back in the swing of things! :) Love your soup challenge, I need to get a bit more inventive with my soups - lentils and veg get a bit dull! x
 
Hello Chipmunk, Mrs S and IRC- apologies, I don't update this very often! Thankyou for your kind words and support :D

P52 has fell to the wayside for the moment- luckily I cooked enough soup in my first week to have kept me going til now. I was thinking about buying the Little Book of Soups from class but having flicked through it reckon I can get enough nice recipe's from here. I don't know why I keep buying SW recipe books, they are always crap (must quell Delia Smith urges).

How is everyone doing this week? I went to my FIL's on saturday and his OH practically forced a bottle of wine down my neck! Then I was that pissed that I had a ciggie! Oh dear. Have made up the excess syns by having a good few days and binned the leftover cigs the next morning- I'd been doing so well (must quell Shane McGowan urges).
 
I do not know what is up with me this week- I haven't been able to sleep at all! I'm usually a great sleeper- could fall asleep standing up/in a bath/on the drive if necessary, nothing wakes me and I rise at a reasonable time in order to get ready and prepare food for the day.

This week- bleurgh, don't know what is going on. OH seems to be snoring more than usual, like a FOGHORN and the dog has taken to sleeping around my head on my pillow (she's hardly a little dog). Usually I'd snooze on through this kind of commotion but no, I'm up, down, up, down, need the loo, need a drink, think I can hear weird noises downstairs. Then come morning I sleep through my alarm and inevitably late for work. I've had a few weird side affects from this diet but I was not expecting this one- i wonder if it's because I'm not drinking as often or just because I used to sleep out of lethargy rather than anything else?

Diet wise, this has been another good working week so far. Everyone in the office has come round to the idea of me being on a diet and have finally stopped buying me Costa Coffee's and are using my designated milk allowance from the jug in the fridge. One of my girls bought me a load of herbal teas in that she found on offer when shopping and nobody has tempted me with crap.

I seem to have had a positive affect on the office- I haven't heard the rustle of a McDonalds brown bag this week and it was suggested today that everyone chip in for me to make a big batch meal for lunch each day (nice idea, but I work too much as it is! I'd end up letting them down and buying rubbish instead). OH has got into the swing of things now, he is enjoying our evening meals and seems to be eating the salads and fruit bowls I've got him in for lunch.

There has been some added desire to lose weight this week at the thought of booking two holidays- our honeymoon a month after the wedding and a holiday with friends the following May, meaning that I'll have to carry on losing (or maintain if I'm lucky!) until I've hit the beach.

Food wise- I've become preoccupied with stir fry's and could easily eat one every night for tea. I suppose that is not a bad thing! I've tried the Diet Coke chicken instead this week (well, used pork) and enjoyed it but didn't think it was "all that". I'm contemplating trying a stir-fry week and a fish week, just to boost my losses. I've been happy with my losses so far, but I've had a bet with my Mum that if I lose 2 stone in 12 weeks she'll pay for my next 12 week countdown (that would be a great help- £50 to spend on shoes :D) so think a couple of "boost" weeks might be good.

Other than that I want to try limiting my carbs. I don't do red days, so to speak, but I definitely feel a bit bloated hen I hammer the carbs. Speaking of which, I have NEVER done a green day throughout the entirety of my SW journey, I just don't know what I'd eat. Maybe I should give them a go :confused:

Anyway, as a bit of personal inspiration I'm going to post a few photos- all of me when I was thinner (still not particularly thin though). I still have all of my awesome clothes and I would love to get them back on, especially my VoH dress (bought when those babies only cost £40- oh how times have changed!!). Who knows...this might be the start of a photo diary too. I really wish I still looked like this!!

Old Jez with my Mum
ma.jpg


In one of my many VoH's
prom.jpg


And with my lovely OH, pulling a weird face and looking worse for wear after a week on the lash
1046213878_l-1.jpg


And NOW: On the left looking like a heifer and distinctly middle aged :( This is the photo that made me join SW!

018.jpg
 
AND I want my blonde hair back godammit!!
 
Love love love VoH dress! One day I will own one! It's always much easier to do when those around you are supportive :) there's always sweets in my work oh and I work in bakery so surrounded by mega synful things, it's actually easier doing it just now when I'm stuck at home. Nothing like a holiday to keep you motivated :-D so with 2 you will be amazing, it looks like I'll only be going to download festival this summer as can't afford it plus a holiday. Xx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
I actually stopped going to festivals because of the cost! The last time we went to Leeds I think it cost us about £1000 (including tickets, travel and then LOADS of ale and all the ***** we used to buy when we got there). CHRIST- we've maanaged a week in Mexico for that, so we just stopped going!

Have you checked out Queen of Holloway? Naughty rip off, but their stuff is pretty good as an interim til you get your Viv!
 
Ah cool will need to check them out :) I would totally get married in a VoH dress and some iron fist shoes haha I love them that much!!

Yeh the amount you spend at festivals is rediculous it is the same as a weeks holiday for a few days in a tent - was going to do a holiday instead this year but since Metallica are doing the entire black album my bf will possibly explode if he doesn't get to go see them he's been a massive fan since he was 5 lol! :rolleyes:

X
 
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