nikki's diary - closed...... moved over to maintenance to test the water!

[cornishkez]

I know your mum has been poorly, but your parents manage just fine between 2pm and 11.30am, so don't worry about them. Don't let them emotionally blackmail you into feeling guilty. If you go round there every day and then suddenly it becomes just once a week, they are going to know they've really pissed you off. And be honest with them of the reasons!

If they want to spend time with their grandkids, let them come to you. You can shut the dog in another room if it's really an issue?

I know they are your parents and they have a hold over you, but you are a parent as well. Enjoy your time with your kids and some time to yourself without having to run around after everyone else.

 

[great things]

thanks

i think they find dude hard work. ems was the same but i suppose they were 3 years younger and she was their first grandchild so very special and they'd do anything for her, even now. i think matthew's a bit of a pain to them.... that's how i feel even though they'd strongly deny it.

wish my hip would behave.

well shopping done. put away. hoovered up downstairs. sitting with a coffee and my computer watching waybuloo. it's on for matthew but he's wandered off somewhere after getting bored 7 mins in to it.

anyway i'll need to finish my coffee as i'll need to set off for ems any min. when i get back i'll need to bring my washing in as it's looking very dark out there and it's supposed to rain. bet it's 90% dry.

 

[great things]

had a 'naughty' coffee at costa today. i say naughty. it was an iced latte thing. skim milk, coffee and ice blended. loved it. have made a similar one at home. 2 tsp of strong coffee, bit of ice, some skim milk bit of hot water, some splenda sweetner. fabulous! yum!!!!! i will be making these more often. not sure what to have for lunch as i just don't feel like anything so i had my iced drink and a bar.

 

[cornishkez]

I'm the opposite, feeling really hungry today. Not that I'm tempted to give in, but am having to ignore the crazy rumblings and gurglings going on. Cause of WI tonight, I'm really conscious of my water intake today, cause I'm not weighing till half 7pm. Only had 2 coffees and a pint of water. Don't expect I will have much more before weigh in, but then will be glugging and peeing all night to make up for it! lol

 

[great things]

i used to do this. i do this on the morning of my weight in. i get up at 6am and don't drink or eat til after weigh in at 10am. i drink throughout the night though.

i'm so struggling of a night. just need food.

today i've had....

porridge 150 cals
cd bar 173 cals
4 apples 200 cals (523 cals)
bit of the kids cheese from lunch as i was dishing it out. (? say 50 cals as it was small ish)
cottage cheese and salad and a bread bun 450 cals (1023 cals so far)
just now.... slice of bread and hot choc 150 cals (1173 cals)
had more milk than i should have had too. 200cals (1373 cals)

went to the gym but didn't bur much as my hip was sore i took it easy. so probably 100cals down.
cut grass when i got home.

 

[Surfhunny]

Whats wrong with us all, there's only Kerry who's totally in the zone, and I'm so jealous lol. I'm wishing the next two days away so I can get back on track. I feel great when I'm 100% and it isn't really a struggle, the struggle for me comes when I have to decide between having a social life or being on it 100%. I think it's time my friends discovered some other way to socialise other than eating, greedy pigs lol. The pub is perfectly fine for me, I can drink my fizzy water to my hearts content, I'm not a big drinker anyway.

As for parents, I've the opposite problem, I never see mine at the moment, they're permanently on holiday. They got back from a 3 week holiday last Saturday, so I dashed round to see them and I guess that was when the rot set in, they had indian and I picked a bit of chicken off mums plate. The tomorrow they're going away again for the weekend.... can't be bad huh? Dad isn't even old enough to retire yet but they have the life of riley at the moment, so I can't imagine I'll ever see them when he does retire, thank god that a good 10 years away yet lol. I miss my parents!! When I was away at uni I talked to them every day, now I live 2 minutes walk away and I haven't spoken to them since Sunday.... thats bad right???

 

[cornishkez]

In the zone I may be, but I've got 4 months of pissing around to make for! You guys are pro's and so close to your goals that I think you should both give yourselves a break. As long as you aren't gaining then you are on the right tracks. Besides, I'm only in the zone because of the inspiration and motivation you give me!

 

[Surfhunny]

Aw hun, thanks, I keep forgetting how close I am, I still think I've got 6st to lose, not 1. I still think I'm way bigger than I am, I guess my brain will catch up eventually x

 

[great things]

it's so easy to think that you are bigger than you are. i', just sick of the way the scales just don't seem to agree with things. yesterday i spent most of the day on the loo one end or tother. today i've put on weight. must have eaten about 1500 cals. i've been religiously body brushing each night too. rings are tight this morning, can just about get 1 off at a time. they go up in size as they go down my finger lol. eternity ring's at the bottom then wedding ring both of which i can't alter their size due to their make, the my engagement ring on top which is the only one i can make smaller and it keeps the rest on IYSWIM.

another day, another day to be cocked up.

couldn't go for a run because hubby wanted to get up ubber early. his alarm went off at 5am. needless to say i find it hard to get back off again and this made worse by him not actually getting up til 5.38am so i'm aware of this and start prodding him. this then puts him in a mood of.... he was getting up any second. then i'm awake. i drift off again and he then bangs the front door. not much later emily wanders into my room.... is it time to get up yet she asks. no, go back to bed. i drift off again after threatening to shut her door too. then she's making so much noise she wakes dude. i give up and get up.

my hips still sore been taking volterol and paracets. at chiropractors thursday. i could do without running but hate not going. i was thinking of trying to go this lunchtime. hubby, in an attempt to get fit, has been cycling at lunchtime for an hour. so today he goes and i don't or i go and he doesn't. i can't go whilst ems is as school cause she's not there PD day. anyway a day without won'y hurt me. esp as sat i'll be exercising when i don't normally. 2 hours of classes. probably burn 800 cals. then sunday i need to run 6 miles now. 11 weeks til the great north run. my plan now needs to look at bit like this...

this sunday - 6 miles
11.7.10 - 6.5 miles
18.7.10 - 7 miles
25.7.10 - 7 miles
1.8.10 - 7.5 miles
8.8.10 - 8 miles
15.8.10 - 8.5 miles
22.8.10 - 8.5 miles
29.8.10 - 9 miles
5.9.10 - middlesbrough 10k tees pride
12.9.10 - 10 miles
19.9.10 - great north run. 13.1 mile half marathon.

you never run more than 10 miles in training. as you know that another 3 miles to the end is doable with the crowds help.

during the week my milage will go up too to match my long runs.

at the moment it's around 4 to 4.5 miles each time.

so this week it was:-
sunday 5 miles
monday 4.5 miles
wednesday 4 miles
(should have been 4 miles today)

then:-
sunday 6 miles
monday 4 miles
wednesday 5 miles
thursday/friday - 4 miles

next week:-
sunday 6.5 miles
monday 4 miles
wednesday 5 miles
thursday/friday 4.5 miles

following week:-
sunday 7 miles
monday 4 miles
wednesday 5.5 miles
thursday/friday 4.5 miles

week after that:-
sunday 7 miles
monday 4.5 miles
wednesday 5.5 miles
thursday/friday 5 miles

next week:-
sunday 7.5 miles
monday 5 miles
wednesday 6 miles
thursday/friday 5 miles

following week:-
sunday 8 miles
monday 5 miles
wednesday 6 miles
thursday/friday 6 miles

after that:-
sunday 8.5 miles
monday 5 miles
wednesday 6.5 miles
thursday/friday 6 miles

next week:-
sunday 8.5 miles
monday 5 miles
wednesday 6.5 miles
thursday/friday 6 miles

following week:-
sunday 9 miles
monday 5.5 miles
wednesday 7 miles
thursday/friday 5 miles

after that:-
sunday 6 miles for middlesbrough 10k
monday 6 miles
wednesday 8 miles
thursday/friday 5 miles

next week:-
sunday 10 miles
monday 3 miles (slow paced)
wednesday 3 miles (fast and slow)
thursday 3 miles (very very slow almost fast walking pace)
friday and sat rest days involving lots of stretching

after that....
GNR day 13.1 miles

 

[great things]

hates it when..... mods edit what you've said just because they think they can!

depressed today, want to stuff face.

hip is still a bit sore.

took it easy when doing my classes today. combat was pretty hard on the hips so didn't work as hard.

 

[Surfhunny]

I can't believe the mods have edited your post!!! Why would they do that??? That's annoying, were you being controversial lol? I got an email from the gym about a new class that's starting....Jukari.... It looks good, but I bet it's really popular to begin with.

I hope you're feeling better about things, it's horrible when the scales won't play the game! X

 

[great things]

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

hubby asked tonight when i'm coming off my diet! told him that this was it for life. told him how frustrating i'm finding it doing loads of exercise and, although i am picking, i'm not loosing. i wouldn't say my picking is bad bad bad, it's just picking. i'm not having take outs i try to limit my alcohol as it's not good for running, i don't go through biscuits by the packet, i rarely touch them, i don't eat huge portions, i don't eat bags of crisps, i can't stand cake or pie, i love choc but don't eat it often and would never dream of eating a bar of something, i can't remember the last time i ate a bar of something, i don't touch pies or pasties etc, hate cream... . etc etc not loosing is upsetting and all i can think of is the depo injection and the bit of picking i'm doing right now.

went and looked online at the jukari class, sounds good but looks rubbish. i don't think you can beat combat and pump. at the end of september i'll start doing classes in the morning and book dude in to the new dl creche. just get the GNR out of the way. thinking of doing either the london marathon or the edinburgh marathon next year. just need to apply now.

will pm you surf.

 

[Surfhunny]

Oh its so frustrating isn't it? I've been blaming my pill for my smaller losses but then I think when I'm absolutely 100% I can pull off a big loss so I don't know. I'm sure it's making it harder to lose though I dunno...

I pm'd you back lol, I'm a bit ranty though... I wish I could run but I totally hate it!!! I can't get past 10 minutes without feeling like I'm going to die. My breathing is fine but I get the stitch from hell at about 10 mins and thats it, my friend is a runner and she told me to try and run through it but I can't I feel like I'm going to pass out with the pain. Every time....I can even tell without looking that it's been 10 minutes because of the pain. I guess I'll stick to swimming, thats something I could do forever.

Anyway I'm off to bed now, tomorrow is 100% day, make or break, if I cannot make it through tomorrow without inserting food into my face, then I'm going to have to have a serious think about what I'm going to do dietwise. Chin up hun xxx

 

[great things]

i often get a stitch too and i do run through it and it goes. it helps to breath out fast on your foot fall of the opposite side to the stitch.

i do not feel like running this morning. i have a nice headache from my wine last night. i do not drink much but had about 3 glasses last night and i think it was 2 glasses too much. one should and would have been fine as the others were too much. however i did say s*d it as i was pi$$ed off and wine does help.

i have an hour then i'll drag myself out for a 6 miler.

 

[great things]

my post went will have to re-type it.

back from my run and did just over 6 miles - 6.12 miles in 1 hour and 9 mins. my garmin sat nav watch says 783 calories gone. my polar watch (Heart Rate monitor watch) would probably say 2 cals as it's not been kind to me the past few times i've worn it since i got it back from it's new battery etc.

it always used to be around the same as my sat nav watch give or take around 50 cals. now there's a massive difference. so i'm not sure what's going on. i've changed the setting to high energy activity rather than just regular. checked my height and weight as it's in CM and KG which i just don't get on with.

anyway, my depression was caused by my polar watch yesterday and it could all have been totally different if i just stuck to my own idea and not put it on for my classes yesterday

what happened was this....

i've read a few articles about pump and combat and people wearing their watches and how many cals they've burnt against the average they say you burn for the classes. i've gone around the average but just under. they say body pump you can burn around 500 cals but i've always thought that mine is around 300-350 as my heart rate does go up and the sweat does drop off my wrists esp when doing squats. with combat they say the average is about 700 so i've always thought around 500 as i do push it and again i'm always out of breath and put lots of effort into it. anyway my watch majorly disagreed with me and it set my mood for the rest of the day, which was depressed and wanting to eat. since i got my watch back it doesn't really seem to show the calories. it always used to be around my sat nav range give or take 50 cals each way and there's quite a big difference. yesterday it said i burnt 100 for pump and not much more for combat. yes, it was the launch i wasn't sure of what i was doing, i was taking it easier due to my hip being dodgy and wanting to do my run today so i didn't want to be half dead but a total of 250 cals for 2 hours worth of exercise is rediculous!!!!! like the other day when i had my polar on and my sat nav and it was saying they said that for my 3 mile run my sat nav had me as 350 cals whereas my polar said 150! big difference.

i suppose the biggest thing is that if i'd not worn my watch then i would have assumed i burnt of my usual and would have eaten better and not eaten so much cr*p due to being rather depressed. i certainly wouldn't have had the wine.

 

[Surfhunny]

It's kind of the same thing with the scales isn't it ... If the scales show decent losses you feel great and are much more inclined ho continue, but if they don't budge it has the opposite effect. I don't see how you can have only burned such a low amount though because that's a lot lower than normal if you were taking it easier I'd still expect more, can the watch need recalibrating after the battery change? Don't know much about them to know if that's even possible.

I know it's easier said than done but try not to let the numbers get you down. Xxx

 

[leeds123]

hi nickki, just caught up on your diary, really impressed and envious of your running. used to do it a few years ago and loved it. it was totally addictive and i used to be up at 5am some days doing it. really miss it, and the time it gave me to think. wish i had a good gym near me, the only one near us is canons and that £60 a month!

i'm back on track today and feeling a bit low and moody. gained 14lbs in my 3 weeks off so hoping to lose a lot of that this fortnight. hope a lot of it is water retention but trying to not to put too much pressure on myself. cant believe the weight is not falling off you with the running you do!

 

[great things]

hiya. i hope you had a fab time though and i'm sure that at least 50-70% will be water retention as the fat cells fill up 3 times the amount of water. i recon you'll loose 8lbs in your first week

feel really really bad today. i lifted ems onto my back and she kept slipping down so i lowered her but her legs were still wrapped around me and she let go and hit her head on the concert floor. i heard it go bang. i'm devastated. my poor baby. she has a nice egg to show for it and was screaming really loudly. she didn't loose consciousness so i didn't take her to the A&E, she played out all afternoon and seems herself still. going to keep a really long close eye on her all night, i'm so worried about her, my baby.

i've been going through my sat nav watch and last week running alone i did 2 hours and 40 mins of running and something in the region of around 17 miles. then there was 4 hours of classes and 2 hours at the gym. so all in all i did almost 9 hours of exercise in the week, not including the gardening which was another 3 hours and the housework probably 3 hours again.

i'm off to get new trainers tomorrow as my hip is still bad and i've been reading about the stability and support and after 300-500 miles of use it's gone as the trainer, although still new looking, will have broken down inside. i've done around 800 miles in my trainers since i got them and although they don't look too bad when i look at the soles you can actually see wear on them and this is a very bad sign in that they are usually worn before signs of wear on the soles is present. so off to up and running and off to spend £70-£90 ouch!

off to the chiropractors on thursday and i think a bit of sports therapy massage is needed too. need to pop volterol and paracets tonight again, didn't take any last night due to have a few glasses of the old vino.

i'm hoping that my hip sorts itself out soon as i would love to do the edinburgh marathon next year, been scouting the website. i would do the london one but i just don't think that i'd get a place and if i did then i'd need to raise £1000 for charity.

 

[great things]

some new pictures of me.

1st fat arms

2nd it my gym tummy, but at least i'm in shorts, don't wear them as i have flabby loose skin on my legs which wobbles around.

 

[great things]

i think another stone is needed