Oh bugger!!!!!!!!
I have had a HELL of a weekend.:cry:
I knew it would be difficult as I had many things planned but i didn't expect to completely give up!!
Well I have come here to admit my syns and hopefully put an end to this self distruction!
Friday evening i went to a presentation do in morecombe and we stopped over the night. I knew i was going to be heavily drinking so i saved some syns up and even had turkey stir fry for my tea before we set off knowing the bf was stopping off at maccie D's! There was burger bar in the function room and a friend brought chips to share between us on our table. So i hapily tucked in- not knowing what was to come later on!
At the end of the night I was starving! So we went to the takeaway shop and I ordered chicken burger and chips with mayo. I wolfed it down and didn't even enjoy it- it was bland, tasetless and whilst eating it I was thinking I would have rather have tucked in to a plate of pasta n sauce or bacon on toast!
The next day I wasn't too well. I won't go into details but i was on the loo for half an hour in morning.
Didn't stop me from eating the full english in the b n b though!
Then i had a show saturday night (something to raise money for a local church so they could fix the roof) i was there from 12pm- 12am. I basically ate what was given to me. Cheese on toast for lunch. PACKETS of crisps, then in the evening I had soup, beef barm, and a very fattening homemade sweet thing. (This was the menu which was served at the show during the interval).
Yesterday was no better. I started off well with fruit for breakfast but then went food shopping with the boyfriend and he picked up 2 feasters. We were due out in 3 hours and were so hungry and i had tonnes of housework to do so i caved in and ate the feasters WITH a choc cup cake!!!! In the evening we went to a 21st meal.
Starters- chicken liver pate
Main- Ham penne carbonara
Desert- birthday cake :cry::cry::cry::cry:
Oh and 2 glasses of wine.
When i got home last night i was violently sick. Surely this was my body telling me to stop!!
Today i woke with all motivation to get back on track. I had weetabix for breakfast, sw cottage pie for lunch and then it all went wrong. I have just stuffed myself with a freddo and hula hoops. I am going to zumba tonight and plan to work my backside off but why is it when we know we've been naughty we think it's okay to continue on this horrible rocky road to being fat again! IT HAS TO STOP AND STOP IT WILL...RIGHT NOW!
I don't even enjoy eating crap. I just did it because it was convienent. It tastes nice but then the guilt soon takes over and all of a sudden you regret everything you put in your mouth.
Sorry for the ong rant ut i feel so much better- this is like therapy. Thanks for reading and if you made it this far down the page you deserve a medal! xx