hi there everyone, I've had a lot of reading to catch up on here but I can't even begin to say how proud I am of and for each and everyone of you, even if we never meet please know that each and every one of you are a comfort and inspiration and I love you all.
I apologise in advance for people whose eyes get bored easily but my NSV is a bit hard to explain, so please bear wih me.
Last time I was on here was December 2010 and I'd just lost one stone and two pounds. As a reward my boyfriend took me on a trip to Florida and we came back the day before new years eve. He following night we went out to watch the fireworks and after the tradition countdown kiss he got on his knees (in the mud) and proposed. I said yes and had never felt happier. We headed back home about 4am and were walking along the pavement when an immense pain occurred in my side and the last thing I remembered was my legs going above my head.
4 months later I wake up in hospital surrounded by friends and family. I was told I was hit by a
drunk driver (who passed away before reaching the hospital), my spine had been twisted slightly
and fractured in two places, bruised hip wih a broken leg and a cracked skull. Hey said that they had done most of the ops but thought I needed another one for my spine. But I didn't care
because someone I really wanted to hold me wasn't here. My fiancé Teddy wasn't there, my
family and the doctor said that he never bothered to visit me, stupidly I thought well maybe he
didn't want to see me in such a state and will visit now I'm awake.
Two months later I stop writing letters to him and stop asking my family to check up with him.
Put all my focus on recovering and repeating how to walk. Cast was off my leg but my back was
killing me. Couldn't stay standing for more than a few seconds. Also felt disheartened to know
that my weight was now at it's heaviest.
Made get friends with the hospital staff and I'm allowed to go home after another seven months
and can walk a few paces without collapsing. Went to find out why my husband to be couldn't be
bothered to see me.
Dad took me in a wheel chair to our apartment, he didn't realise I'd be there so his face was a
picture. I asked the obvious questions of why wasn't he there, why did I get visits from a woman
who found me on the street and called the ambulance, rather than him phoning cause he was two meters away from me when it happened. God I am almost ashamed of myself for still crying when
I think of what he said then. He told me "I'm not gonna waste my life looking after a beached
whale in a wheelchair, how could you not get the idea when I didn't come to the hospital. All I
thought of when it happened was thank god she was so fat that I have to walk further into the
sidewalk cause I might have been hit too if you were the same as normal prettier women."
Stupid, I'm crying again. It just hurts so much when I think about how much he meant to me. Well here's where I did something I don't regret, he didn't know I'd been practising walking so I stood up and shuffled towards him, knees buckling slightly as I hadn't been more than a few paces further beforehand. Got right up to him and punched him in the nose. Dad brought the wheelchair to me and we left. With tears in my eyes I yelled back to him I'm alright to pawn the ring then?
A couple of months later and he wheelchair is gone, I'm back at sw and my ex passed me in the street. His nose now crooked so women can see he's ugly inside and out. My NSV is this, without sw I wouldn't have survived that accident because of the pressure on my heart. Without sw I wouldn't have had the will to try walking again, 'cause weight has always been a challenge for me and losing made everything seem possible. Without sw I wouldn't be my own person with confidence in myself and would have begged him to take me back. Without the knowledge that there were others it there who were like me, and my friends and family I would feel alone, useless and I honestly don't know what I would have done. All of you have inspired me in the last few months when my family read out your nsv's in hospital. So thank you all for being yourselves and bringing me joy in some of my darkest hours.
