One day at a time!!

Why is not wanting to be fat anymore not enough for me to do anything about it???

I seem to be in a self destruct mode as in I don't care (but I do deep down) about how I look!
Going to a wedding tomorrow & left it to today to get something to wear as I was dreading going to the shops... I got an outfit that I like BUT I'm still a size 24, I know my shoes will be hurting just while sitting in the church, I know I'll be hot in synthetic clothes in a marquee BUT was that enough to motivate me to do anything? NO!!
I've been full of excuses... no point in starting before the wedding as I'll be eating & drinking what I want, I've been working again & getting to sleep about 2am then getting up at 7am with the kids so filling up on carbs just to keep me going.
I know all these things are wrong... I know how much better I feel when I'm low carbing so why isn't that enough??

I want to believe that on Monday I will stop the rot & I will get my lardy backside into gear... but to be honest I'm fed up with saying it & failing. How many times on this diary have I said that & here I am weeks down the road still failing!!!

I want to be the happy size 14 that I was 2 years ago... so why isn't it enough??

Thats pretty much why I've been hiding my head away in shame!
Sorry girls. xxx
 
hi linz. don't get yourself down hon. maybe after the wedding you will be able to grit your teeth and get into it. take it one day at a time. and when you do get into low carbing you do really seem to be happy with what you can eat. why not read the charles clarke book? it might give you a different outlook on low carbing. the rules are slightly different to atkins and the carb amounts are a little bit higher but i lost shedloads on it. of course because my head wasn't in the right place i gained it again. but that's my underlying problem, not a fault of the diet. read your slogan. what doesn't break you makes you stronger. you know you want this. you know you can do it. the beginning is the difficult part. if you are happy within yourself then all is well. if you aren't however then you will do something about it. don't fret :) enjoy yourself at the wedding and look at it as your final 'treat'. the last time you are the size you are and the beginning of a brand new journey :)

good luck honey. no shame allowed :)

abz xx
 
I second what Linz said, and just want to say dont be so hard on yourself. we are all in the same place, want to lose the weight so much we would do just about anything, but its so hard. we are strong enough, and we will do this with the support of each other.
We are here for you, and Abz is right, go to the wedding, enjoy it and then thats it. You are back to low carbing, feeling positive and setting a goal for Christmas.
Big hugs, and positive vibes being sent your way
xxxx
 
i didn't mean to make you cry linzi!! sorry :S

it is yeah. the charles clarke high protein diet. i had so much energy when i did that it was untrue. unfortunately for me i'm not very good at sticking to a regime with so much yummy food. hence cambridge. am i daft or what? ha. if you like low carbing then you'll love it :) there's some really good recipes too. have you read up on it before?

abz xx
 
Hugs to you Linz (( ))
Try not to think too deeply about things, you are not a failure, just drifted from your path thats all....but remember you can always find your way back and get to your destination!
Learn to be kind to yourself, if you are too self critical your self belief will be destroyed and you wont feel "worthy" of taking care of yourself.
Enjoy the wedding, and make plans to acheive your goals in time for xmas. You CAN do this babe, chin up, we can all do it together.

MORE HUGS (( )) xxxxxxxx
 
Thanks ladies!

Abz you made me cry b'coz of your kind words! Nothing to be sorry about!

Weighed myself this morning as I'm starting afresh again now... think I'm just gonna low carb with out following 'a particular diet' as I know thats what suits me & I think if mentally I don't feel like I'm not allowed anything I may fair better!!

Was really suprised to see I had dropped another 4lbs (don't deserve to have lost that!) but onwards & downwards again!
 
you are doing fabulously well honey. are you going to set yourself a carb limit? when i was low carbing that's basically what i idid and just tried to get as many veggies into that carb allowance as i could. (that's vegetables, not vegetarians :D)

you know what you are doing with low carbing. and like i said before, you seem to be so much happier when that's what you do, so go for it :) you know you can achieve so much and you're on your way now :D

good luck :D

abz xx
 
Linz, I love onwards and downwards! are you going to change your weigh in day or keep it Thursday morning??

Me, well I've also started something new. I just cannot manage to do Cohen's, it's just not for me at the moment. Read my diary for more info.

Lets get on with it now hey!

Congrats on the loss also and how was the wedding?

Bren
X
 
Hey Abz, it might be time for some photos of you and have you got a diary anywhere??
X
 
ha. i keep meaning to start one bren but i never quite manage it. at the mo i'm keeping track of what i'm doing on various threads... maybe i should get one going... ha.

i do have some before pics but as of yet i don't have the 'ongoing' pics other than those in that bridesmaid dress in my photo gallery. i'll get some more done when i've lost 2 stone :) not far to go....


abz xx
 
Darl you are doing wonderful! How much have you lost so far and what dress size are you in now?

I'm still in 14 and really want to get back into 12's easily and the occasional 10!

X
 
i have just 1.5lbs shy of 2 stone, ha. so very nearly there. was hoping to get there with this weigh in tonight but am not sure i will!! i am currently in a size 18 and they are getting a wee bit baggy. still nowhere near a 16 though. bit of a shame as that's what i wanted to be when i went to denmark but i've got a pair of small 18s, so a 17, ha, that i would like to get into by then :) i might even buy myself a nice dress, since i've been wearing the same things for years and year... it'll have to be a cheapy one though :)

abz xx
 
Sounds like a plan. Lots of water today and stop about 2 hours before your weigh in so you can pee it all out. Best of luck.

Bren
X
 
how is the bodyshop stuff going linzi? i meant to ask you about that ages ago, ha. is it turning out to be as lucrative and enjoyable as you hoped?

i am just settling down to a brekkie of a cambridge bar. i'm not at work until 1 again today. the 1-11 shift did drag a little last night it has to be said but it wasn't too traumatic... somebody else was there until 7 so it was only the last four hours that were a bit dull... but saying that tonight is probably going to be manic. so...

abz xx
 
Oh Abz can you get on the internet at work that late?

Linz... girl are working your arse off at the moment! How's the low carbing working out?

Bren
X
 
Body Shop is fab!! I absolutely love it! It would be more lucrative if I didn't keep buying stuff for myself :eek:.

I'm breaking myself back into low carbing gently... am using similar foods to Cohens but having a protein bar in the morning as its less carbs than yoghurt!

Gonna read the Charles Clarke book (thanks Abz) & keep a track of my carbs etc on a website.
Am tempted to try the cambridge diet as I think perhaps abstaining might be the way to kick start myself again...

Just seen some photos from the wedding I went to on Saturday OMG I look the size of a house!!! If thats not motivation to keep going... gonna print one off & put it next to a picture of me size 12 before falling pregnant! I know which one I'd rather look like!
 
i have a pic of me eight years ago going to my sixth form prom in a gorgeous dress on my mantlepiece where not just me but everybody can see what i could look like. every now and again i have a peek :)

oh, and i got said dress out of the wardrobe today and my mate said "i reckon you could fit into that now..." ha. i probably could... don't think it would look too pretty though. still. i could have kissed her :D

abz xx
 
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