Hey guys, I'm on my netbook now so can type easier.
(Teenage life history)
I developed panic attacks and agoraphobia when I turned 18, I didn't know what it was, and it sort of started with a 2 month illness (food poisoning we think, doctor couldn't say for certain), I had however started seperating myself from a boyfriend I had who was very physically and mentally damaging towards me. I spent 2 years failing at things because of this illness, no one knew what it was, I didn't even know what anxiety was... I hate this, I hate the fact no one tried to help me and I ruined my college education for it. I still can't go in a classroom for too long.
I got better and then relapsed in October 2010, I was 22 I think, or 21 turning 22... It was on the way to see Frankie Boyle at Wolverhampton, I had a 'text' book panic attack in the car and then for 6 months kept having heart palpitations and text book panic attacks (the ones they talk about in psychology books. I had treatment, and had a hard time, I developed life changing phobias, however I'm a strong person and I broke those phobias eventually.
I was complete well from August 2011 when I started work, I worked until December, had 2 months unemployment and then got my current job. It all went well, then a boss who isn't there now started messing with me, my hours, he got other people to make offical complaints about me and in July 2012 I had a huge panic attack whilst on holiday. I heaved violently in front of a big crowd of people I was apart of for an experienced at a zoo. I tried hard to carry on but couldn't keep control of my throat the entire time so eventually we left. The next day I went to work and had a panic attack which lasted 5 hours... I threw up or heaved every 10-15 minutes so obviously doing my job wasn't a option, however I stuck it out until my boss could deal with covering me.
I had counselling for this but it didn't help me at all. I never really got better until I moved here. Then I had the very occational panic attack, usually at home before or after I'd had a busy day. We've been here since 19th of May. Last Monday, I started panicing again and it was worse Saturday and a little yesterday but I still feel the psychologic lump that my mind creates to make me heave in my throat now :/
My panic attacks have evolved. They started with being sick or heaving, then i had the normal, heart palpitations and restriction in breathing, which then developed into a phobia of being murdered/abducted, after curing myself of that, it has restarted as the heaving/being sick one again. I'm worse in the mornings, when i'm tired, hungry, if I exercise (dry mouth=dry throat) :/
Anyway, I hope you see a bit into what I've been dealing with, I don't know it' triggers, this time I'm still ale to go on the bus on my own which I've not been able to do in the past but I'm fine with it. I do prefer consistent patterns to my life.