Danni86
Gold Member
Absolutely agree! My baby has been on formula and expressed milk so far and no one should be made to feel guilty about it, happy mum = happy baby!
Pregnancy and Baby Advice Thread: From Conception to Birth, and Beyond!
- Thread starter PrincessPeach
- Start date
Absolutely agree! My baby has been on formula and expressed milk so far and no one should be made to feel guilty about it, happy mum = happy baby!
Susiew2001
Gold Member
I completely agree - happy mummy = happy baby. I've always said you need to enjoy your time as a mummy and if that means you choose not to bf for WHATEVER reason that is fine.
Breast is best is a completely crappy saying and only serves to make those who can't or choose not feel more guilty than they probably already do.
Missy, Sarah, penny (and all the rest of you) I think you're all doing a fabulous job. Don't let anyone tell you any different. The fact you all have healthy happy babies is testament to that.
Unfortunately there are people out there in the world who feel it's their way or the wrong way and that will never change.
Jess in response to your original post, I have breastfed Abbie since she was born. However, during that time she has also had many bottles both of formula and expressed milk. Mostly because I was out or away or just wanted a break. I also feel that it is important to get babies used to other methods of feeding. Imagine for a second (and this is where I always wonder what exclusively bf and co-sleeping parents would do) that you are rushed into hospital with a dangerously high heart rate. It needs immediate treatment with drugs that are incompatible with bf. To the point of it being dangerous for the baby. You're kept in hospital for 5 days. Your 4month old baby can obviously visit but seeing as it's an adult hospital full of really sick and poorly people you decide it's not a good idea. You go home on medication that means you can't bf.
Now luckily you have kids already and your husband knows how to make and sterilise bottles. So has managed while you have been away. And you have given your baby a few bottles since she was born so she knows how to take them and is happy with the taste of formula milk. Which is just as well really!
This happened to my friend not me obviously. She, like me was bf, but was rushed in one day and it all followed on as above. If she had only exclusively bf (no bottles at all etc) what would she have done? Would her baby have ended up in Hosp with dehydration etc?
So, My suggestion is to give bf a go, see how you get on, you can do a bit of both if you want, I found expressing was easy to do (but not everyone is the same) but I would suggest after a few weeks giving the odd bottle so you get baby used to it. Not necessarily every day if you don't want to, but now and again. You can give expressed milk if you want or formula obviously!
Try not to stress about it. You will do what's right for you and your family. And that's all that matters. Screw everyone else!
Lots of love to you all. Xxxxxxxxxx
Breast is best is a completely crappy saying and only serves to make those who can't or choose not feel more guilty than they probably already do.
Missy, Sarah, penny (and all the rest of you) I think you're all doing a fabulous job. Don't let anyone tell you any different. The fact you all have healthy happy babies is testament to that.
Unfortunately there are people out there in the world who feel it's their way or the wrong way and that will never change.
Jess in response to your original post, I have breastfed Abbie since she was born. However, during that time she has also had many bottles both of formula and expressed milk. Mostly because I was out or away or just wanted a break. I also feel that it is important to get babies used to other methods of feeding. Imagine for a second (and this is where I always wonder what exclusively bf and co-sleeping parents would do) that you are rushed into hospital with a dangerously high heart rate. It needs immediate treatment with drugs that are incompatible with bf. To the point of it being dangerous for the baby. You're kept in hospital for 5 days. Your 4month old baby can obviously visit but seeing as it's an adult hospital full of really sick and poorly people you decide it's not a good idea. You go home on medication that means you can't bf.
Now luckily you have kids already and your husband knows how to make and sterilise bottles. So has managed while you have been away. And you have given your baby a few bottles since she was born so she knows how to take them and is happy with the taste of formula milk. Which is just as well really!
This happened to my friend not me obviously. She, like me was bf, but was rushed in one day and it all followed on as above. If she had only exclusively bf (no bottles at all etc) what would she have done? Would her baby have ended up in Hosp with dehydration etc?
So, My suggestion is to give bf a go, see how you get on, you can do a bit of both if you want, I found expressing was easy to do (but not everyone is the same) but I would suggest after a few weeks giving the odd bottle so you get baby used to it. Not necessarily every day if you don't want to, but now and again. You can give expressed milk if you want or formula obviously!
Try not to stress about it. You will do what's right for you and your family. And that's all that matters. Screw everyone else!
Lots of love to you all. Xxxxxxxxxx
CupcakeMummy
Full Member
You all need to go back and re-read my post - I at no point mentioned anything about FF mums being bad. So thanks for putting awful words in my mouth.
My mum FF me and my best friend FFs. Yes, I wouldn't have chosen it for my baby even though I was begged to by family for my own health and even health visitors and paediatricians said about it too - but I know if I had I'd have been wracked with guilt. And probably would've read posts from BFing mummies and reacted as some of you have.
It's unfair that you all assume I'm an arsehole for giving the OP my opinion and facts when she asked to hear from people who exclusively BF. Re-read my post. There was no malicious undertones at this end. Giving a bottle before 12 weeks CAN AND DOES jeopardise your milk supply and baby's latch in some women and babies.
And while we're on facts and people hate me anyway - human breast milk is the best food for human babies. Not a cows milk product - it's just obvious. I'm sorry if that hurts feelings - but it's fact. (Of course if you need to take medication or baby has sever allergies etc then it's a different matter - I had to give up dairy and soya for 4 months and it was tough on top of already feeling like poo)
For anyone who does want to know breastfeeding facts and doesn't misconstrue this as a dig these are the FACTS of breastfeeding benefits as written by the World Health Organisation - not me - so if you want to go and make them feel crappy for giving people honest education and advise then please do:
"Breastfeeding has an extraordinary range of benefits. It has profound impact on a child's survival, health, nutrition and development. Breast milk provides all of the nutrients, vitamins and minerals an infant needs for growth for the first six months, and no other liquids or food are needed. In addition, breast milk carries antibodies from the mother that help combat disease. The act of breastfeeding itself stimulates proper growth of the mouth and jaw, and secretion of hormones for digestion and satiety. Breastfeeding creates a special bond between mother and baby and the interaction between the mother and child during breastfeeding has positive repercussions for life, in terms of stimulation, behaviour, speech, sense of wellbeing and security and how the child relates to other people. Breastfeeding also lowers the risk of chronic conditions later in life, such as obesity, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, childhood asthma and childhood leukaemias. Studies have shown that breastfed infants do better on intelligence and behaviour tests into adulthood than formula-fed babies.
Virtually every mother can breastfeed, if given appropriate support, advice and encouragement, as well as practical assistance to resolve any problems. Studies have shown that early skin to skin contact between mothers and babies, frequent and unrestricted breast feeding to ensure continued production of milk and help with positioning and attaching the baby increase the chances of breast feeding being successful.
Breastfeeding also contributes to maternal health immediately after the delivery because it helps reduce the risk of post-partum haemorrhage. In the short term, breastfeeding delays the return to fertility and in the long term, it reduces type 2 diabetes and breast, uterine and ovarian cancer. Studies have also found an association between early cessation of breastfeeding and post natal depression in mothers."
My mum FF me and my best friend FFs. Yes, I wouldn't have chosen it for my baby even though I was begged to by family for my own health and even health visitors and paediatricians said about it too - but I know if I had I'd have been wracked with guilt. And probably would've read posts from BFing mummies and reacted as some of you have.
It's unfair that you all assume I'm an arsehole for giving the OP my opinion and facts when she asked to hear from people who exclusively BF. Re-read my post. There was no malicious undertones at this end. Giving a bottle before 12 weeks CAN AND DOES jeopardise your milk supply and baby's latch in some women and babies.
And while we're on facts and people hate me anyway - human breast milk is the best food for human babies. Not a cows milk product - it's just obvious. I'm sorry if that hurts feelings - but it's fact. (Of course if you need to take medication or baby has sever allergies etc then it's a different matter - I had to give up dairy and soya for 4 months and it was tough on top of already feeling like poo)
For anyone who does want to know breastfeeding facts and doesn't misconstrue this as a dig these are the FACTS of breastfeeding benefits as written by the World Health Organisation - not me - so if you want to go and make them feel crappy for giving people honest education and advise then please do:
"Breastfeeding has an extraordinary range of benefits. It has profound impact on a child's survival, health, nutrition and development. Breast milk provides all of the nutrients, vitamins and minerals an infant needs for growth for the first six months, and no other liquids or food are needed. In addition, breast milk carries antibodies from the mother that help combat disease. The act of breastfeeding itself stimulates proper growth of the mouth and jaw, and secretion of hormones for digestion and satiety. Breastfeeding creates a special bond between mother and baby and the interaction between the mother and child during breastfeeding has positive repercussions for life, in terms of stimulation, behaviour, speech, sense of wellbeing and security and how the child relates to other people. Breastfeeding also lowers the risk of chronic conditions later in life, such as obesity, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, childhood asthma and childhood leukaemias. Studies have shown that breastfed infants do better on intelligence and behaviour tests into adulthood than formula-fed babies.
Virtually every mother can breastfeed, if given appropriate support, advice and encouragement, as well as practical assistance to resolve any problems. Studies have shown that early skin to skin contact between mothers and babies, frequent and unrestricted breast feeding to ensure continued production of milk and help with positioning and attaching the baby increase the chances of breast feeding being successful.
Breastfeeding also contributes to maternal health immediately after the delivery because it helps reduce the risk of post-partum haemorrhage. In the short term, breastfeeding delays the return to fertility and in the long term, it reduces type 2 diabetes and breast, uterine and ovarian cancer. Studies have also found an association between early cessation of breastfeeding and post natal depression in mothers."
missy1978
Big Bird
Just shut up, please. You've made your point and made me cry and quite frankly ruined my evening.
I don't need your education. If you can't see how sanctimonious you were being you need help quite frankly!
I went through hell to get pregnant, had a difficult birth that left me in a right state and mental health issues that plagued me throughout my pregnancy. I was put on antidepressants the second my son was born as they were convinced I was a dead cert for PND. So don't talk to me about PND, I'm fairly certain that I only escaped it because I moved to combi feeding. Crying constantly, not bonding well with baby, struggling to feed - you see where I'm going with this?
You have no idea what other peoples circumstances are. Yes bf is what nature intended but nature can also be bloody cruel.
I hope you're happy that you've made another mum feel like crap.
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CupcakeMummy
Full Member
Hun, if facts ruin your evening and make you cry then I think maybe you need to talk to someone.
shenzi
Gold Member
Cupcake please you aren't aware of Missy's situation so please refrain from commenting something like this!
sarah_lou1981
Back again!!
I didn't get skin to skin for six hours. I wasn't given the option of breast feeding as they stuck a bottle in my baby's mouth and I COULDNT feed him for 12 hours as the midwives did it. But either way I wouldn't have done it.
When you KNOW you've upset at least two people with comments (whether they read too much into it or not!) why then go on to post something like that above?? We all know the stuff that is preached about breast milk, you don't need to come on here and start pasting it onto a thread where we've already said we don't want to hear it. Personal choice. Fab, you breast feed your baby exclusively. That's amazing, and obviously the right thing for you. But your baby is no 'better' than mine because of it. Formula wouldn't be allowed to be on sale if it wasn't a good enough substitute and didn't contain everything babies need.
Everyone has an opinion and it's a very emotive subject so when people are upset I think it's best to not push it any further.
Sarah, I hope you're ok lovely xxx
When you KNOW you've upset at least two people with comments (whether they read too much into it or not!) why then go on to post something like that above?? We all know the stuff that is preached about breast milk, you don't need to come on here and start pasting it onto a thread where we've already said we don't want to hear it. Personal choice. Fab, you breast feed your baby exclusively. That's amazing, and obviously the right thing for you. But your baby is no 'better' than mine because of it. Formula wouldn't be allowed to be on sale if it wasn't a good enough substitute and didn't contain everything babies need.
Everyone has an opinion and it's a very emotive subject so when people are upset I think it's best to not push it any further.
Sarah, I hope you're ok lovely xxx
sarah_lou1981
Back again!!
Appalled!!!
missy1978
Big Bird
I know I edited late but read the rest of my post please. I have mental health issues. I take anti depressants. You are a very insensitive person. I talk to someone (a therapist) once a week thank you very much.
I do not deny your facts. I do however state that there are other issues involved in a decision on how to feed other than facts.
And don't call me hun, I don't need your sanctimony.
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Susiew2001
Gold Member
I don't think anyone denies what you have quoted from WHO. It needs to be taken into account with everything else that a mother/family goes through when she/they chooses to have a baby and nurture him/her.
however. I think it was the last comment about jeopardising the protection for your baby that has upset people. And if you stop to think for a moment you may see why. Just imagine, for a moment, that you are unable to breastfeed your next baby. Let's say that you don't produce any milk. Unusual yes but not unheard of. I have a friend who bf her first child for 6 months, then with her second, nothing. Big fat zero. No change in breast size during pregnancy, no engorgement on day 3, no leakage, NOTHING. Imagine coming onto a forum like this, having had to ff your baby, and it being suggested to you that something that you have done, has caused your baby to be deprived of that special 'protection'. How would that make you feel? I realise that Internet writing can make things come across in a manner that was unintended, but seeing as so many people have been upset by what you have put, however well-intentioned, I would suggest you maybe think about it from all angles before you press send in future.
however. I think it was the last comment about jeopardising the protection for your baby that has upset people. And if you stop to think for a moment you may see why. Just imagine, for a moment, that you are unable to breastfeed your next baby. Let's say that you don't produce any milk. Unusual yes but not unheard of. I have a friend who bf her first child for 6 months, then with her second, nothing. Big fat zero. No change in breast size during pregnancy, no engorgement on day 3, no leakage, NOTHING. Imagine coming onto a forum like this, having had to ff your baby, and it being suggested to you that something that you have done, has caused your baby to be deprived of that special 'protection'. How would that make you feel? I realise that Internet writing can make things come across in a manner that was unintended, but seeing as so many people have been upset by what you have put, however well-intentioned, I would suggest you maybe think about it from all angles before you press send in future.
shenzi
Gold Member
Shall we move onto something else, I can't stand people being upset for making a best interests decision xxx
So Ladies, my husband reckons he's not going cry when babies born because he's not 'emotional', those with babies already, how did hubby/partner react??
I reckon mine will although he's says he's not emotional will have at least a tear in his eye, I'm sure I clocked one on our wedding day although I'm sure that was more what the hell am I doing marrying into this mad family
lol
So Ladies, my husband reckons he's not going cry when babies born because he's not 'emotional', those with babies already, how did hubby/partner react??
I reckon mine will although he's says he's not emotional will have at least a tear in his eye, I'm sure I clocked one on our wedding day although I'm sure that was more what the hell am I doing marrying into this mad family
lol
shenzi
Gold Member
Well said Susie xxx
missy1978
Big Bird
Shall we move onto something else, I can't stand people being upset for making a best interests decision xxx So Ladies, my husband reckons he's not going cry when babies born because he's not 'emotional', those with babies already, how did hubby/partner react?? I reckon mine will although he's says he's not emotional will have at least a tear in his eye, I'm sure I clocked one on our wedding day although I'm sure that was more what the hell am I doing marrying into this mad family
Thanks Emma and all of you xxx Colin cried his eyes out from the second he saw Seth. Literally sobbed! Which is funny because I didn't cry at all, I think I was too drugged up tbh, I barely knew where I was! So Colin did the crying for us both bless him
shenzi
Gold Member
Thanks Emma and all of you xxx Colin cried his eyes out from the second he saw Seth. Literally sobbed! Which is funny because I didn't cry at all, I think I was too drugged up tbh, I barely knew where I was! So Colin did the crying for us both bless him
I think I'm all cried out every time I feel her move I get a tear, but Pete will sit there and go errr gross it's like something out of aliens, I think he thinks she about to pop out of my chest lol!
Susiew2001
Gold Member
Haha yes Benn was the same. He didn't like feeling her move. Thought it was weird. I don't know if he was teary at the moment of birth, I can't remember! I tested up a bit when they have her to me to hold after she had been to the paeds but by then I was bleeding and I can remember turning to Benn and saying isn't she gorgeous and he was like hmm yeah, what are they saying about you? Shh I can't hear, and wasn't look in my direction!
We both had a bit of a cry a few days after though, just with the relief of it all and he was sooo upset with the whole sorry saga and I was upset he was upset, and we were both upset we were stuck in Hosp for a week and he wanted to take us home. After that though we were ok.
So maybe if we had had a normal scenario he would have??
xx
pjallen1982
Gold Member
Shall we move onto something else, I can't stand people being upset for making a best interests decision xxx So Ladies, my husband reckons he's not going cry when babies born because he's not 'emotional', those with babies already, how did hubby/partner react?? I reckon mine will although he's says he's not emotional will have at least a tear in his eye, I'm sure I clocked one on our wedding day although I'm sure that was more what the hell am I doing marrying into this mad family
He will. Paul was sobbing!
PrincessPeach
Pregnant with Baby No 2!
I cannot believe this is happening on minis?! I'd expect this on babycentre, or another forum, but definitely not here. This is of COURSE a place for advice, ideas, opinions etc and newbies! and it's great to have so many differing opinions because (as I have found) it can truly help people. BUT I am absolutely appalled at cupcake's "hun, you need to talk to someone" (or similar) comment - and not alot offends me to be honest. We are a family on here, and of course anyone is welcome with open arms but not with comments like that - ESPECIALLY when you don't know the person or what they may have gone through in the past / be going through now. We do not do judgement on here at all and what has happened tonight certainly wasn't the idea when I set up this advice thread - for anyone to end up in tears and hurt.
I really hope you are ok Sarah, and anyone else who is upset xxxxx
I obviously haven't had my baby yet (don't remind me lol) but I reckon my hubby will have tears too! He is NOT a cryer in the slightest. I've only ever seen him cry a couple of times - once when he proposed, and on our wedding day so I'm certain he'll cry at the birth of first baby.
xxx
I really hope you are ok Sarah, and anyone else who is upset xxxxx
So Ladies, my husband reckons he's not going cry when babies born because he's not 'emotional', those with babies already, how did hubby/partner react??
I reckon mine will although he's says he's not emotional will have at least a tear in his eye, I'm sure I clocked one on our wedding day although I'm sure that was more what the hell am I doing marrying into this mad family
I obviously haven't had my baby yet
(don't remind me lol) but I reckon my hubby will have tears too! He is NOT a cryer in the slightest. I've only ever seen him cry a couple of times - once when he proposed, and on our wedding day so I'm certain he'll cry at the birth of first baby. xxx
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Jess<3
Journey to 10 stone loss
as for the partner crying... Rob didnt but i think it was more shock of been rushed off for emerg c-section which ended up in forceps and Jacob rushed off to midwives/paediatrics as soon as he was out :/
I think it it was a better delivery he would of shed a tear
hoping this time is MILES easier!!! cx
I think it it was a better delivery he would of shed a tear
hoping this time is MILES easier!!! cx
Nellylou
Gold Member
Urghhhh how upsetting to come on and read this I wish I had made more of an effort to breast feed every day but the stress of being in hospital and having Bella taken away to special care after 30 mins of having her and her being tube feed formula for 3 days stopped that and to be honest by that time we were so overwhelmed and stressed that we didn't want to rock the boat and just carried on with ff.... It may sound selfish but that was the decision we made at a very scary time...
I hope all of you girls are ok xx
Shenzi, Charles cried his eyes out - couldn't stop him crying, he cried for about 3-4 days after as well especially when I was asleep and they listened to welsh lullabys together x
I wish I had made more of an effort to breast feed every day but the stress of being in hospital and having Bella taken away to special care after 30 mins of having her and her being tube feed formula for 3 days stopped that and to be honest by that time we were so overwhelmed and stressed that we didn't want to rock the boat and just carried on with ff.... It may sound selfish but that was the decision we made at a very scary time...I hope all of you girls are ok xx
Shenzi, Charles cried his eyes out - couldn't stop him crying, he cried for about 3-4 days after as well especially when I was asleep and they listened to welsh lullabys together
x
