Ramblings of a Bee on Exante

[Plymscuba]

Yes I agree totally Bee. I always imagine dying then looking down at myself thinking I would never say I wish I'd worked more, I wish I'd lost more weight etc, it would always be wanting to spend more time with my little one and family etc, and like you say doing good deeds now and again. So you have to enjoy life and live in the moment sometimes.

Enjoy tomorrow x

 

[lynneonextante]

Hey, good morning, thank you all for kind messages. I'm doing alright thank you, it's still a total blur, was over with friend's husband and kids yesterday and it's hard to see them trying to be brave and have meltdowns and all that. We talked about their mum/wife and had a good laugh and a cry, she was a fabulous person.
The sadness of it all means I don't really feel like food, even the packs aren't all that appealing, but have been sticking to them and I have actually tipped the scales now, into the 13s! What I have been waiting for for weeks has now happened and I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry about it, but I must say deep down I'm quite pleased, having really tried hard to get there. Now it's only 3lbs away from a 2 stone loss.

I'm actually having a day out with my sister tomorrow, what with life being so busy it rarely happens and we had been planning the day tomorrow for ages, going shopping and just having a nice day of lots of coffee and even more talking. And I really really crave it, just a day away. I'm not entirely sure if I'm gonna manage sticking to the diet, but if I do I do, if I don't I don't, will completely play it by ear and carry straight back on with Exante, whatever happens.

Life is so fragile, it would be great to look back on each day and think that I have done something worthwhile with it, that I had some joy, that I have given something to someone, a kind gesture perhaps, that made a difference to them. And I guess it's that frame of mind right now that makes me want to enjoy the day tomorrow

Hi Bee. You are clearly having a difficult time. I hate even thinking about dying and leaving my sons even though they are now 22 and 24. What happened to your friend is tragic and it is awful to think of what her husband and children are going through. It is good that they have your support although you are grieving too. I hope you had a nice time with your sister and that you used it to bring some relief into your situation.

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Thank you Lynne, very nice comment. I had a lovely day with my sister and a productive weekend of housework and catching up with friends. Unfortunately, the diet took a total nose dive and I've been off plan since Friday now. Trouble is I don't even feel like I have the energy to get back on it. I'm going to try and eat very sensibly until I go away as it's going to be a break from the routine anyway.
Terrible how it's made me feel bad about myself though, it's difficult being nice to yourself sometimes, much easier to be reasonable and reassuring for other people. Why is that I wonder :sigh:

 

[lynneonextante]

I often think that too. At work I'm pretty good at helping others deal with problems, yet when it comes to my own I'm not very good at all. I'm pretty much off the diet and not eating sensibly either at the moment. Basically I'm trying to do too much at work and getting stressed. Just going to take one day at a time until I go away.

 

[BeeBeeSee]

One day at a time is the most manageable approach anyway, I think. Will work ease off a bit for you in the near future? I often think it's almost impossible to be balanced in how much time and energy I give to others vs. the time and energy I invest in myself. There's more of the others than me I'm only one. So it's easy to neglect yourself and then overcompensate in other ways, e.g. food.

 

[notsoskinnymarge]

Aye, just take one day at a time Lynne, and plod on with it. We will get there

 

[lynneonextante]

One day at a time is the most manageable approach anyway, I think. Will work ease off a bit for you in the near future? I often think it's almost impossible to be balanced in how much time and energy I give to others vs. the time and energy I invest in myself. There's more of the others than me I'm only one. So it's easy to neglect yourself and then overcompensate in other ways, e.g. food.

It will be like this until I go to Turkey and will then hopefully get better after I've caught up. One of the deputy managers in my team has been off sick since April and I've been covering for her. Also, I am project managing a 3 week full time Summer Arts College and Music Project. I shouldn't really be involved with hands on work but Summer Arts College is my 'baby.' I did delegate some of the preparation work for it while I was away but this wasn't done well and I'm getting stressed about the consequences of this and trying to put it right. At the same time I'm having to still carry out my role of operations manager and my manager is piling the work on. I'm stressed just thinking about it!

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Hey everyone, look who's back How's everyone been? I'll try and catch up on diaries although I'm not terribly hopeful that I'll manage to to read three weeks' worth but I will try.
Well, I've had a great time away on my training course but I must say, I ditched Exante completely in that time! All meals were provided and they were good so it was carbs galore I'm afraid. And it's amazing (amazingly bad) how much I can feel the difference midriff wise. Carbs go straight to my waist and belly. So I'll be back on Exante and got my next goal ahead of me. Can't wait to feel slimmer again, it does so much to your emotional world to be back on the straight and narrow.
Haven't weighed in yet, will do probably tomorrow to see what the damage is, and I do expect damage *sniff*. But no point wallowing coz I fully expected this, so on with the show!

 

[Plymscuba]

Bee I've had a few weeks off too on/off but the damage actually wasn't that bad strangely. I put on 5lbs but I've got rid of it in 2 days (started MOnday). Still been eating protein stuff and having milk so think I'll continue this. Back down to my low weight and have 10 days til mini hols in Barcelona so would be nice if I could lose a few pounds as a buffer for hol!

We can do it x

 

[Shrimp]

Bee good to have you back...I was on holiday for 2 weeks and put on 6lb

got straight back on and have shed 4lb....

 

[lynneonextante]

Hi Bee. How are you doing? I'm back next Friday and back on exante on Sunday. I'm dreading getting weighed?

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Hey, oh dear, I can't say I've fallen off the wagon again, I never got back on it!! So I've basically spent another week after coming back eating anything made out of carbs. So it has got to stop, not at all pleased with myself. So I just ordered some more stuff from Exante and will be back on plan as of tomorrow.

What I'm dreading most the next few weeks and months is how busy I'm going to be with a lot of days and weekends away from home and invites, but I'm really determined to get back on track. And I'm really dreading the scales... I know I've done a lot of damage. But there we are, no point in wallowing in self pity, it's my own doing, I've enjoyed it and now it's back to reality.

Shrimp, 6lb isn't really that bad, and 4 have already gone, now that is brilliant

@ Lynne - yep, I know how you feel but I think once I'm back in the zone and back posting lots on here, it'll help me enormously.

 

[LoveFoodHateFat]

Good luck for tomorrow. I have read your diary and you have done great, Today is day 1 for me I hope to do as well as you have

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Good luck for tomorrow. I have read your diary and you have done great, Today is day 1 for me I hope to do as well as you have

Aw thanks, very kind of you to say so. I've been bumbling around a bit too much, having days on and days off, it's got to stop. I'll be back on plan before you know it
My plan is now to get on track and do TS 100% and then from October on incorporate more exercise too. Good luck to you as well on your diet journey, keep posting plenty, it really helps.

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Right, re-start today!! So far, so good. I'm feeling quite positive about this. Will take one day at a time, anything that comes up like invitations or days out I will just deal with them as they come along. If I fret about them in advance, I tend to think I might as well blow it and instead of having one meal I end up eating for two days straight. So here I come, starting all over again.
Once Lynne is back, we must get a proper challenge started

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Two days completed so far, definitely finding the restart harder than the original start. But at the same time, I feel so much cleaner, if that makes any sense at all. Drinking so much more water than I did when I was off and that in itself must do me some good. Feeling so totally tired and lethargic today, just a few more days and I should be back to normal. Decided to make Saturday my weigh in day. And I think I'm going to leave the weighing until then anyway just coz it's bound to be a tad depressing so I'm working my way there

 

[Plymscuba]

I was 3lb up this morning and I've been like a trojan diet and exercise wise Bee!!! Thats the thanks you get ;-)

You'll feel better after tomorrow, I've didn't actually notice restarting after my blow out down the caravan last month, was just glad to get back into it and out of the crab bloat feeling again! x

 

[lynneonextante]

Hi Bee. I'm back and 12lb heavier in just 14 days!!!! Gross - but I still enjoyed putting it on. I've go a lot of catching up to do but also a lot of washing! Have posted a new challenge- I'm hoping to lose 28lb in the 110 days up to Christmas. Hope to see your name up there too! You seem to be going well so far - is this day 3 or 4? I'm not back on exante until Sunday as I've got a wedding to go to tomorrow but will probably lose some of that 12lb just by eating normally!

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Hey Lynne welcome back!!! Will post on your diary now too. Ok, here it goes: I need a MAJOR kick up the backside, everyone, please do not hold back!! Can you believe that after my restart last week I totally blew it again over the weekend!! Pulling out all the carb stops there were. And this morning I was just so full of annoyance with myself, I finally stepped on the scales and I've gained 8lbs in the last 3 weeks. OUCH! So this is it. I will definitely join the challenge Lynne.

Why do I keep doing that to myself? I know how disgusting I feel after pigging out and that it's just detrimental to what I'm trying to achieve. And yet...in the moment none if it matters. So I need some tough love, peeps!! Restart: Day 1. AGAIN!!

 

[BeeBeeSee]

Ok, so far no one's kicked me up the backside please feel free to do so hehe.

Anyway, I think my weekend blow out put things a bit into perspective for me, the insanity of bingeing and at the same time aiming for a target weight loss at a specific time. It just doesn't work.

And being back on here after a few weeks away is certainly giving me the motivation to do it. Last night I looked at the many sachets I still have that could quite happily see me through another 3-4 weeks before I have to reorder anything. And I thought hey, you don't have to spend any money for the next few weeks on food/packs, which totally soothed my skinflint nature hehe. So there's another upside