RD's life diary: I'm back (sort of)
- Thread starter Russiandoll
- Start date
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
It all went fine. We arrived at the cemetary and the little hole was already dug with astro turf around it and some white tape for lowering the casket down.
There were only a few of us there - he'd already had a big service when he was cremated so this was just a final closure. The funeral car arrived and the director got out carrying a burgundy velvet cushion with James' ashes in a walnut casket placed on it. On top was a gold engraved plate.
The casket was placed on the tape and my sister and her two remaining children took one end each, the funeral director took the fourth. James was lowered down and finally laid to rest.
My mum asked if I'd read my poem out (I hadn't intended to) as there was no minister and she felt that something should be said over the grave. I read it out and was ok until halfway through when my voice quavered and I broke down a bit.
Anyway, he's there just a few feet from his two cousins (my son and niece) who are also buried there.
A chapter closes.
When I left for the interment, DD3's boyfriend was packing to go back to college. When I got back, he'd gone. The shock was that DD3 then broke down and said they'd split up and he wouldn't be coming back.
He's lived with us for over two years so we'll miss him: he was a nice lad.
I did the mum thing and gave DD3 all the usual cuddles and comfort. I said that relationships often have a 'shelf-life' and sometimes even run beyond that because the relationship starts to become less about love and more about habit <remembering marriage #1 here!>
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when things come to an end though.
Anyway, she's getting a bit of emotional TLC from me and DH at the moment - there will be time to gee her up another day.
What with the CAB, the interment, shopping and a heart-broken DD, I'm quite shattered. And the cherry on the cup-cake is that I ate a chunk of cheese!
I don't think it was emotional eating, I just don't have any bars and so miss chewing!
Oh well - we'll have to see if it's made any difference on Monday!
There were only a few of us there - he'd already had a big service when he was cremated so this was just a final closure. The funeral car arrived and the director got out carrying a burgundy velvet cushion with James' ashes in a walnut casket placed on it. On top was a gold engraved plate.
The casket was placed on the tape and my sister and her two remaining children took one end each, the funeral director took the fourth. James was lowered down and finally laid to rest.
My mum asked if I'd read my poem out (I hadn't intended to) as there was no minister and she felt that something should be said over the grave. I read it out and was ok until halfway through when my voice quavered and I broke down a bit.
Anyway, he's there just a few feet from his two cousins (my son and niece) who are also buried there.
A chapter closes.
When I left for the interment, DD3's boyfriend was packing to go back to college. When I got back, he'd gone. The shock was that DD3 then broke down and said they'd split up and he wouldn't be coming back.
He's lived with us for over two years so we'll miss him: he was a nice lad.
I did the mum thing and gave DD3 all the usual cuddles and comfort. I said that relationships often have a 'shelf-life' and sometimes even run beyond that because the relationship starts to become less about love and more about habit <remembering marriage #1 here!>
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt when things come to an end though.
Anyway, she's getting a bit of emotional TLC from me and DH at the moment - there will be time to gee her up another day.
What with the CAB, the interment, shopping and a heart-broken DD, I'm quite shattered. And the cherry on the cup-cake is that I ate a chunk of cheese!
I don't think it was emotional eating, I just don't have any bars and so miss chewing!
Oh well - we'll have to see if it's made any difference on Monday!
Karen
Serial Foodie!
what a day u have had. dont worry about the cheese, u r doing wonderfully. u r a strong, talented and very special lady Debbie. Im not a poet but i mean that sincerely. i hope ur daughter has half ur strength in order to to move on from her break-up.
I dont really know what to say about james, other than he must be very touched by ur poem. god bless him. xxxxx
I dont really know what to say about james, other than he must be very touched by ur poem. god bless him. xxxxx
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Thanks Cheryl - and everyone else who posted support and kind comments.
Today has been a crap, crap day. I went to the interview this morning feeling awful because I felt like a lump - only one decent top fitted but hubby said I looked 'the biz' (bless him!).
I got there and wasn't the only 'big' person so panic number 1 over. We had a tour of the school (not a revelation to me as I went there 30 years ago!) then we had a talk by the head of Learning Support.
It was then she said that ALL Learning Support Assistants MUST work all day Mondays as that's when they do their in-house training and have meetings. My heart sank: I'm at Uni all day Mondays and Thursdays.
I told her and said I'd leave if she wanted rather than waste the interviewer's time - she went and had a word with them but they said they'd see me anyway as I was there. But it was a pointless exercise really as I CAN'T do Mondays and they can't move their criteria on working hours. I just wish they'd stated that in the initial ad.
So that's that.
When I got home, DD3 was very upset. Seems that her ex-boyfriend who she finished with yesterday (he's lived with us for 2 and a half years) wasn't quite the 'nice lad' I thought he was.
Not only has he cheated on her but now that they've split, he's posted all over facebook how 'unreasonable' and 'paranoid' she'd been.
Hardly paranoid - she was right in her suspicions!
She's in pieces and doesn't want to do her college work. I've persuaded her to go into college and said I'll help where I can. I hate to see my lovely girl with a broken heart.
But I'm also angry and hurt that a young man who we took in and treated like a son could be so bloody cruel to such a sweet thing as my daughter.
He's coming back to pick up some stuff apparently ... I told DD that we'd stash it in the shed until he does and she doesn't even have to see him. Hubby will certainly want to see him though!!
Perhaps we can afford to buy a couple of tins of cheapo paint and give her bedroom a face-lift. It might help to change the environment she spends 'thinking' time in.
I feel so tearful - when my kids hurt: I hurt. :cry:
Today has been a crap, crap day. I went to the interview this morning feeling awful because I felt like a lump - only one decent top fitted but hubby said I looked 'the biz' (bless him!
).I got there and wasn't the only 'big' person so panic number 1 over. We had a tour of the school (not a revelation to me as I went there 30 years ago!) then we had a talk by the head of Learning Support.
It was then she said that ALL Learning Support Assistants MUST work all day Mondays as that's when they do their in-house training and have meetings. My heart sank: I'm at Uni all day Mondays and Thursdays.
I told her and said I'd leave if she wanted rather than waste the interviewer's time - she went and had a word with them but they said they'd see me anyway as I was there. But it was a pointless exercise really as I CAN'T do Mondays and they can't move their criteria on working hours. I just wish they'd stated that in the initial ad.
So that's that.
When I got home, DD3 was very upset. Seems that her ex-boyfriend who she finished with yesterday (he's lived with us for 2 and a half years) wasn't quite the 'nice lad' I thought he was.
Not only has he cheated on her but now that they've split, he's posted all over facebook how 'unreasonable' and 'paranoid' she'd been.
Hardly paranoid - she was right in her suspicions!
She's in pieces and doesn't want to do her college work. I've persuaded her to go into college and said I'll help where I can. I hate to see my lovely girl with a broken heart.
But I'm also angry and hurt that a young man who we took in and treated like a son could be so bloody cruel to such a sweet thing as my daughter.
He's coming back to pick up some stuff apparently ... I told DD that we'd stash it in the shed until he does and she doesn't even have to see him. Hubby will certainly want to see him though!!
Perhaps we can afford to buy a couple of tins of cheapo paint and give her bedroom a face-lift. It might help to change the environment she spends 'thinking' time in.
I feel so tearful - when my kids hurt: I hurt. :cry:
Barb
Gold Member
Oh Debs, I do know how you feel. We've just been through a break-up with DD1; the 'saint' she'd been with for nearly 2 years decided that God had a different purpose for him and that he couldn't marry her after all, unless she agreed to be saved and attend his church. In fact he dumped her 2 days after her birthday. She has been heartbroken, 2 weeks of tears, tears and more tears. She does seem to be picking up now though and I must say has come up with a most original set of insults to describe him! The really annoying thing is that he keeps contacting her to tell her that he still loves and misses her. Talk about mess with someone's mind!
Sorry to hear about the job too - that was a wind up you could have done without. Still, it's the weekend now, you have Mondays weigh in to look forward to, which is going to be great and at least your DD found out in time what a rat that bloke was; could be worse she could be married to him with a couple of kids!!
I am sure your DD is going to be in need of her Mum very much for these next few weeks but gradually she will come to terms with it. Can you encourage her to get out there and meet up with friends and try to enjoy herself? Thats what we've pushed with our DD and it does seem to have helped.
Hope you can have a happier evening.
Love
Sorry to hear about the job too - that was a wind up you could have done without. Still, it's the weekend now, you have Mondays weigh in to look forward to, which is going to be great and at least your DD found out in time what a rat that bloke was; could be worse she could be married to him with a couple of kids!!
I am sure your DD is going to be in need of her Mum very much for these next few weeks but gradually she will come to terms with it. Can you encourage her to get out there and meet up with friends and try to enjoy herself? Thats what we've pushed with our DD and it does seem to have helped.
Hope you can have a happier evening.
Love
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Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Went round to my youngest sister's house (in the next road) for a coffee and a chat and left some chopped chicken breast cooking in water in a large pan on the hob. I asked DD3 to 'keep and eye on it' and turn it down to simmer when it started to bubble.
I thought that I'd just add some gravy and serve it with a jacket spud and some veg (not for me of course).
When I got back, I was greeted by the most god awful stink as I walked in the door. Yep - the chicken was practically welded to the pan in a black gloop. Just as well my daughter wants to be a history teacher and not a chef!! :sigh:
I thought that I'd just add some gravy and serve it with a jacket spud and some veg (not for me of course).
When I got back, I was greeted by the most god awful stink as I walked in the door. Yep - the chicken was practically welded to the pan in a black gloop. Just as well my daughter wants to be a history teacher and not a chef!! :sigh:
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Got a busy day ahead.
I need to take back a folding bed back to a friend I borrowed it from, pick up DD4's bike from outside the school where it's (hopefully) still chained to a fence, do some food shopping and drop some flowers and a card to an old friend from my teens, whose mum, I've just heard, only has a few days to live.
I knew her mum well (was always round her house when I was a teenager) and I really feel for my friend - it must be horrible to face the prospect of imminently losing your mum
Then I need to come home, catch up on housework and get cracking on with some Uni work - I've been neglecting that over the last few days but I looked on my schedule and my first assigment is due to be handed in on Sept 15th. YIKES!!
Anyway - hope everyone has a fab day. Catch you later.
I need to take back a folding bed back to a friend I borrowed it from, pick up DD4's bike from outside the school where it's (hopefully) still chained to a fence, do some food shopping and drop some flowers and a card to an old friend from my teens, whose mum, I've just heard, only has a few days to live.
I knew her mum well (was always round her house when I was a teenager) and I really feel for my friend - it must be horrible to face the prospect of imminently losing your mum
Then I need to come home, catch up on housework and get cracking on with some Uni work - I've been neglecting that over the last few days but I looked on my schedule and my first assigment is due to be handed in on Sept 15th. YIKES!!
Anyway - hope everyone has a fab day. Catch you later.
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Ooops! Yep - typo there Barb! It's not due in 'retrospectively'!!
Steve and me have been invited to my youngest sister's friend's 40th birthday party tonight. I've known her since she and my sister were both just annoying oiks!
We'll definitely go because it's a cheap night out and we haven't been out for months. It's a themed 'Come dressed as you would for the Oscars' party and at first I didn't think I'd be able to go because I don't have anything 'glam'.
But my sister begged me to go with her and her DH - she said she'd go 'smart casual' too so I didn't feel out of place. I've borrowed a sheeny burgundy blouse from my mum and will wear it with black trousers - that should be OK.
I've bought sister's friend a cheap (and I mean CHEAP ... £3.97 from Asda) bottle of fizz and will wrap it in cellophane and add a big bow to make it look fancy. I'll only be drinking water so I'll be a cheap date!
I managed to get all my 'must dos' done today ('cept the Uni work) so I'm quite shattered but I'M STILL GOING OUT GODDAMMIT!
Hope everyone has a great evening.
pandora
finding my way again !
hope you enjoy your night out, you really deserve some "Debbie & Steve" time after all you have been dealing with lately. It will do you good to unwind a little & just concentrate on you two.
Have fun & i'm sure your outfit will be fine, if this friend wants you there she won't be too bothered if you don't go dripping in tiaras & diamonds !!
xx
Have fun & i'm sure your outfit will be fine, if this friend wants you there she won't be too bothered if you don't go dripping in tiaras & diamonds !!
xx
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
We had a good night out last night. It was a 'Come dressed as you would to the Oscars' themed party so there were a lot of posh frocks and tuxedos wafting about.
I wore black bootleg trousers, a black vest top with my mum's shimmery see-thru burgundy blouse over the top. Oh, and my long black velvet coat with the (fake) fur collar. A bit of slap and a big hairdo later and I was ready. Steve said I looked gorgeous and 'Oscar material' - how my head fits through doors being married to him I'll never know!
The evening went well with lots of dancing & laughing. Istuck to water and didnt have a single morsel from the buffet - yayy me!
As the evening wore on, people were getting more intoxicated (bar me of course) and consequently more daring. The DJ put 'Sex Bomb' by Tom Jones on and three guys in Tuxedos began stripping on the dancefloor
The floor cleared rather quickly and these three carried on with their little impromptu show. When it got down to getting their trousers off, one left but the boldest of the three flung his across the floor and proceeded to grab his friend and try to remove HIS trousers too!!
They both ended up grappling on the floor semi naked with guy #2's trousers round his ankles. When he stood up to make his escape, his *ahem* 'family jewels' were peeking out of the leg of his Calvin Kleins
I thought, 'OMG, if the police come in now, we'll all be arrested for being present at in illegal sex show!!'
Anyway, it all calmed down and the dance floor resumed its use as a dance floor!!
Phew!!!
I've had a quiet day so far today. DD1 and family came round to show us the pics of their holiday to Disney world Florida and a week cruising in the carribean on the Disney cruise ship. Lots of Disney!!
DH is feeling a bit worse for wear after last night (he hit the Magners cider HARD - unusual for him) so I'm popping out in a minute to get DD4's packed lunch stuff and will leave him to snooze if he wants to.
I wore black bootleg trousers, a black vest top with my mum's shimmery see-thru burgundy blouse over the top. Oh, and my long black velvet coat with the (fake) fur collar. A bit of slap and a big hairdo later and I was ready. Steve said I looked gorgeous and 'Oscar material' - how my head fits through doors being married to him I'll never know!
The evening went well with lots of dancing & laughing. Istuck to water and didnt have a single morsel from the buffet - yayy me!
As the evening wore on, people were getting more intoxicated (bar me of course) and consequently more daring. The DJ put 'Sex Bomb' by Tom Jones on and three guys in Tuxedos began stripping on the dancefloor
The floor cleared rather quickly and these three carried on with their little impromptu show. When it got down to getting their trousers off, one left but the boldest of the three flung his across the floor and proceeded to grab his friend and try to remove HIS trousers too!!
They both ended up grappling on the floor semi naked with guy #2's trousers round his ankles. When he stood up to make his escape, his *ahem* 'family jewels' were peeking out of the leg of his Calvin Kleins
I thought, 'OMG, if the police come in now, we'll all be arrested for being present at in illegal sex show!!'
Anyway, it all calmed down and the dance floor resumed its use as a dance floor!!
Phew!!!
I've had a quiet day so far today. DD1 and family came round to show us the pics of their holiday to Disney world Florida and a week cruising in the carribean on the Disney cruise ship. Lots of Disney!!
DH is feeling a bit worse for wear after last night (he hit the Magners cider HARD - unusual for him) so I'm popping out in a minute to get DD4's packed lunch stuff and will leave him to snooze if he wants to.
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Just trying something out here ...
DD3 put together a montage of pictures of James to the Spandau Ballet song 'Through the Barricades' (this was in the charts the day he was born). I'm putting a link on here to see if it can be viewed so I can then add it to other stuff.
You're welcome to watch it if you want - it's 5 mins long (the song is beautiful) and it shows James as the vibrant young man he was before the spontaneous act of inhaling butane took his life away. If, by telling other youngsters of what can happen, just ONE person is saved from this kind of tragedy then it will be worth it. The montage shows James as a real person and not just a 'statistic'.
You onviously don't have to watch it all but could you let me know if it 'loads'?
<div><embed src="http://www.onetruemedia.com/share_view_player?p=3caeb43b1ffba1938b4003" quality="high" scale="noscale" width="350" height="328" wmode="window" allowFullScreen="true" name="FLVPlayer" salign="LT" flashvars="&p=3caeb43b1ffba1938b4003&skin_id=0&host=http://www.onetruemedia.com" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="
DD3 put together a montage of pictures of James to the Spandau Ballet song 'Through the Barricades' (this was in the charts the day he was born). I'm putting a link on here to see if it can be viewed so I can then add it to other stuff.
You're welcome to watch it if you want - it's 5 mins long (the song is beautiful) and it shows James as the vibrant young man he was before the spontaneous act of inhaling butane took his life away. If, by telling other youngsters of what can happen, just ONE person is saved from this kind of tragedy then it will be worth it. The montage shows James as a real person and not just a 'statistic'.
You onviously don't have to watch it all but could you let me know if it 'loads'?
<div><embed src="http://www.onetruemedia.com/share_view_player?p=3caeb43b1ffba1938b4003" quality="high" scale="noscale" width="350" height="328" wmode="window" allowFullScreen="true" name="FLVPlayer" salign="LT" flashvars="&p=3caeb43b1ffba1938b4003&skin_id=0&host=http://www.onetruemedia.com" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="
Russiandoll
Carpe diem
Hmmm - thanks for trying Barb. Not sure why that's happening (I'll ask DD3 - I'm a techno ninny: she'll have a better idea!)
