Sick of carrying 2 hitch hikers about, so this is my diary

[Mumma K]

Hello everybody, just got back from Windsor, great day, great company and lots of lovely sun, walked my bum off too, what more could I want lol, will be back laters, just off to have dinner...hope you all had a lovely day too :hug99: xxx

You were on my doorstep Lily
You shoulda knocked and had a cuppa

 

[Applekath]

Awww Windsor is lovely. I'm there in October for a hen weekend.

Glad you've had a nice day

 

[Lily42uk]

Awww Windsor is lovely. I'm there in October for a hen weekend.

Glad you've had a nice day

What date in October, that's when we are going there for the family meal it's my nieces 21st birthday xx

 

[Lily42uk]

You were on my doorstep Lily
You shoulda knocked and had a cuppa

I'll knock in October or maybe December when Mal and I go there for our anniversary xx

 

[Applekath]

27th lily.

 

[Purple Patsy]

Hope you're having a good day Lily.

 

[Dawnejoy]

Morning Lily, glad you had a good day yesterday and not suffering too much with all that walking xx

 

[Lily42uk]

Morning Lily, glad you had a good day yesterday and not suffering too much with all that walking xx

Hello lovelies, decided to make the most of the sun and spent today at the shops, bought some new clothes for my hols, going to a bodyshop party now and then off to Kelly's for cards as we can't play as usual tomorrow night, as they have to be in Milton Keynes early Saturday for Kia's first jujitsu competition, so most likely catch you all tomorrow at some point. Be good, cya soon :hug99: xxx

 

[EmmyR1984]

Hope you had fun at the bodyshop party and then at Kelly's

 

[Dawnejoy]

Afternoon Lily xx

 

[Mrs E-H]

Good Friday Lils
Xxx

 

[Purple Patsy]

Hope you're having a good day.

 

[Mumma K]

Happy Weekend Lily

 

[JackieN]

Hello everyone, for once in my life I don't really have a lot to say, I just popped in to let you know I am ok ...don't want you fretting over me like you all do :sign0168: ....I am not feeling too bright right now just when I was turning a corner my sister in law received a package from my sister, the one we haven't spoken to in about 15 years and inside was a note which was part of a calendar which just happened to be dated the 5th of September...that was my Mother's and my Brother Alan's birthday...which straight away upset me a little as I was already feeling emotional about them both, but worse was to come on the note was written, give these to your sisters...now that didn't upset me, Sue my sister that sent the package and I have never ever been close in fact I would go so far as to say we have probably always hated each other...what was upsetting was the contents of the package. She has apparently had a sort through of my Mother's photo albums and sent a big bundle of pictures that my Mother had of the kids and grandkids (those of us that she didn't have any contact with for the last 20 or so years of her life) ....there are pictures of Dave my eldest brother as a baby and toddler and a young man, his wife, his son as a baby and a teenager, My sister as a toddler and as a teenager her kids as babies and toddlers, My 2 daughters as babies and toddlers, even pictures of my niece that they fell out with just before my mother died, but not even 1 picture of me ...there must be 60 photos or maybe even more .....it's like a knife through my heart that she didn't for whatever reason have any pictures of me at all...it's almost like I don't exist and has just completely confirmed what she thought of me....I am not disillusioned or never have I been to believe that we were close we weren't, but it's hard to face the fact that my mother really didn't care enough to want to keep a photograph of me...so when I have finished crying about that and got that out of my system I will be back but right now I need to go and lick my wounds.

Have a good day and speak soon

Lily xxx

Hello everyone, I will start with my wi in tonight and I gained a hefty 7.5lbs this week and I am actually surprised ti wasn't more....I had given up and wasn't going to continue with my weight loss ...until last night....then I watched the channel 4 programme last night Ruby Wax's Mad Confession.....I honestly sat right through the programme with my mouth wide open, she was discussing me ...I thought....everything she and the others on there said, applied to me and she also pointed out a few things that I hadn't gotten my head around.....I think...No I know my problem has always been that I haven't allowed myself to have bad days ...I have always felt I had to be strong and let go of the past instead of embracing what I went through and accepting that I will have bad days and even allow myself to have them....I have just got off the phone to my sister yet again and she said to me that's exactly what I have been telling you but not in those words lol...I don't expect that I will suddenly turn everything around and be fine next time something comes along that upsets me, but I am feeling more confident that I will be able to cut myself some slack in the future.....Thank you all for your support,I have read each message as you have posted them on my Android phone, but until now didn't feel able to respond coherently.
I still feel a little tearful but Kelly and Kirsty both gave me big hugs and told me that my mother may not have cared for me but they knew I loved them and they love me back and in Kelly's words..and some :cry: that got me crying again but in a good way.

So now I need to knuckle down and get going with the weight loss again, thankfully I didn't gain as much as I thought I would as believe me if it wasn't nailed down this week I ate it ......I ate a large pack of Chocolate digestives in one sitting...crying my eyes out as I shoved biscuit by biscuit into my gob....I have gone back over 19.5st again but only just ....I want to lose another stone b efore we go away on 24th of August so I have 1 month exactly to get it off....

I am shattered and haven't slept at all well the last couple of weeks, dozing off about 5-6am and being up again by 9-9.30am .....so I am going to do an hours exercise and then try to go to bed....I am off to Windsor with my sister and niece and sister in law tomorrow, my niece is the last of that generation to turn 21 this year and she is arranging for 45 of us her family and close friends to stay in a hotel in Windsor and we are also going to book a restaurant, can't remember what the restaurant is called but it's a Greek Restaurant close to the Castle and my sisters neighbours husband is one of the musicians there....because there are a lot of us we are getting a great deal with the hotel, 2 nights would normally be £170 for 2 of us, but because we are booking so many rooms they are charging us £120 for the rooms for 2 nights and throwing in bed and breakfast too.....so my sister wants me to go with her so that I can say if the rooms are ok with my back problem and if the stairs are manageable for me at the restaurant, as we are such a large party they have opened the upstairs dining room...so going to check that all out tomorrow,.....hopefully once I am back from that I will be able to come back and catch up...but thank you all again so much for your love and kindness :hug99: :sign0168: xxxx

hello lily good to see you back xxx

strength is all well and good, but staying that way 24/7 365 days a yr is what has got us in the mess we are in. it has taken me 9 mts of counselling to finely accept that showing weakness is not shameful .

your girls are so right you have risen above your childhood broken the cycle and shown your mother how it is done

i hope your not freting that gain cos it does not define you, its a mere blip on the journey you have come so far on.

hope the rooms are suitable cos it sounds like it would be a really nice weekend xxxx

What Mandy said my lovely twin. You have broken that cycle. We have broken that cycle. My Mum treats me as hers did her. I grew up knowing i'd never be like this with my kids. and I am not and you are not lovely Lily. We didn't bring ours up the way we grew up we changed all that, its what made us the strong women we are today my lovely. We didn't go with what we had been taught and bring them up the same we went out of our comfort zone and did things our way, the way we would have loved to have been loved and brought up. We gave our kids all that love and attention we craved at times and our kids will be so much better and happier for it Lily. Its hurts to look back I know and that parcel must have opened up a lot of old emotions. Its done now my lovely and time to pop it all back where it belongs, in our pasts , our now and our futures are ours for the taking Lily and we can rise above it all and be happy. We've learnt by our mothers' mistakes and made sure our kids have a loving family life, they are our everything. I don't know what else to say but love ya Lily :hug99: :hug99: xxxxxxxx

 

[Lily42uk]

27th lily.

We are there for the weekend of the 12th -14th October and are eating at Latino's and staying at the holiday Inn, shoul;d be a great weekend, I hope your's is too xxx:hug99:xxx

Hope you're having a good day Lily.

Thank you hunni good and busy too, holiday to shop and prepare for lol xxx:hug99:xxx

Morning Lily, glad you had a good day yesterday and not suffering too much with all that walking xx

Thank you hun, not only didn't I suffer too much with all the walking I have done a lot more since lol xxx:hug99:xxx

Hope you had fun at the bodyshop party and then at Kelly's

I did have a good time at body shop treated myself and spent a lot more than I intended but they had so many great deals so what the heck lol and always enjoy cards night xxx:hug99:xxx

Afternoon Lily xx

Hello hun :hug99:xxx

Good Friday Lils
Xxx

I did have a good Friday spent most of it with my lovely sister :hug99:xxx

Hope you're having a good day.

Having a great day, washing all my new clothes and chasing humungus spiders round the house xxx:hug99:xxx

Happy Weekend Lily[/QUOTE

Thank you sweetie, samer right back at ya xxx:hug99:xxx]

 

[Lily42uk]

What Mandy said my lovely twin. You have broken that cycle. We have broken that cycle. My Mum treats me as hers did her. I grew up knowing i'd never be like this with my kids. and I am not and you are not lovely Lily. We didn't bring ours up the way we grew up we changed all that, its what made us the strong women we are today my lovely. We didn't go with what we had been taught and bring them up the same we went out of our comfort zone and did things our way, the way we would have loved to have been loved and brought up. We gave our kids all that love and attention we craved at times and our kids will be so much better and happier for it Lily. Its hurts to look back I know and that parcel must have opened up a lot of old emotions. Its done now my lovely and time to pop it all back where it belongs, in our pasts , our now and our futures are ours for the taking Lily and we can rise above it all and be happy. We've learnt by our mothers' mistakes and made sure our kids have a loving family life, they are our everything. I don't know what else to say but love ya Lily :hug99: :hug99: xxxxxxxx

Awww Jackie, my lovely lovely twin you always say just the right thing, you are so right it has made us stronger women, and it was a huge shock but I have cried it all out now and hopefully put it to bed, my sister and I were saying yesterday how proud we both were that her and myself and our older brother have put and end to the abuse from this side of the family, obviously I can't say for the other side.....our children have had a much better life and will continue to do so along with their children and their children and so on.
You, Mandy and all the other lovely ladies on here have been a great support to me and I love you all very much for that :sign0168:

:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

 

[Lily42uk]

I am the proudest grandmother on earth right now, my middle granddaughter Kia went to Milton Keynes today to take part in the National Jujitsu competition.

It was her first competition fight and while she didn't win (a little too much to expect in her first comp and after only 6 months training). she did come in 3rd and got a Bronze medal and so we are off to Harvester tonight to celebrate her success ( we know we can eat a syn free meal at harvesters lol). Her opponent was 2 grades higher than her too, which I think is a little unfair but the girl done good lol xxx:hug99:xxx

Kia on her way into the arena

Kia with her bronze medal

My eldest Granddaughter Kelsi received her end of year report through the post this morning, and even with the long time she had off (some 3 months in total ) due to all the bullying, she still managed to maintain her standards and has achieved all A and B grades, dead proud of her too...couldn't ask for more and like I said so proud of them both xxxx :hug99:xxxxx

Kelsi my lovely little brainbox xxx

 

[Mrs E-H]

Brilliant well done Kia and Kelsi

xxxx

 

[Dawnejoy]

Younare justifiably proud of them Lily, they have both achieved so much.......enjoy your meal and have a lovely evening celebrating xx

 

[lsf666]

Well done Kia and Kelsi

:wavey: Lily. Congrats to you too - Ypu should feel proud x

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