Sick of carrying 2 hitch hikers about, so this is my diary

Hi Lovely Lily

Glad you had a good time. So sorry not looking good with Mark and Kirsty but as you say its better now than nearer or after the wedding. They will sort it all out one way or another :bighug:

I am going to make the carrot cake as need something instead of choccie and I also need to learn 'in moderation' :( My head doesn't seem to quite get that bit this week :(

I am still half asleep today but sending you a :bighug: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
ohh, i think carrot cake and i syn cup cakes will get made in this house tomorrow.:D
really wanted some cake the other day:eek:

i too love adapting recipes, tend to read several for the same thing and then combine them to what i like and have in :D
making hungarien bean and sausage casserole for tea tonight useing this principal

Think my daughters relationship might be on the Rocks at the mo also lily, she assures me its not but i am definetly seeing cracks:sigh:

not a lot i can do other than be there is there, he is a nice lad but i don't think he is right for her:eek:
not an opinion i have shared with her cos we all have to learn that our selves don't we:D

hope you have a nice day xx
 
Glad the party went well :) I'm spoilt for choice now for which recipe to make to take away with me lol Definitely going for a three night stay so I guess I can ring them beforehand and ask them which they fancy - will give you the family feedback ;)

Hope today goes okay for you and that the Kirsty and Mark news isn't too upsetting for you if it's not looking good xx
 
Hey everyone,
Sorry didn't get on here yesterday was a busy busy day...I really don't think Kirsty and Mark are going to make it, got them both coming over today and to be honest I am keeping out of it and keeping my mouth shut, seriously peed off. Got a phone call at 1am from Kirsty asking my advice, when I gave it she didn't like it and has been quite nasty since...All I said was that as she had agreed to Marry Mark, I felt she owed him the opportunity of trying to make a go of it, as far as I am concerned she agreed to marry him she should try every avenue before she gives up on it, I also have heard that someone else has been making advances to her...now as far as I am concerned what I said was advice, her choice whether she takes the advice or not...also she has told Mark on 2 occasions so far she wants to try again, and has after this tried to wriggle out of it...I told her she can't play with his emotions like that, she didn't like that either seems I'm not standing by her and am taking Mark's side at which point I said she needs to grow up and realise that I am just pointing out that she is being a spoilt brat, that didn't go down too well ooops...Mal of course has taken her side, I don't agree with him doing that, she needs to realise she can't treat people like that and he is making it worse in my opinion siding with her ...to be honest I am sick of it, never thought I'd say this but I really want her to move out , I don't think we will recover from this while she lives here and her dad will, as he always has done, take her side over me ...I believe she needs to get out in the real world and stand on her own 2 feet and not keep relying on us and specially her dad to run about after her mopping up her mistakes. Don't get me wrong under normal circumstances she is a lovely caring girl, but recently she seems to have changed and I don't like the change in her, she seems a lot more selfish and that has never been like her always thoughtful, caring and sensitive, so like I said I am going to sit back today and keep my mouth shut.
Sorry for ranting but I am really cheesed off right now....will try and get back later who knows what will happen.
Hope you're all having a lovely day xxxxxx
 
Lily42uk said:
Hey everyone,
Sorry didn't get on here yesterday was a busy busy day...I really don't think Kirsty and Mark are going to make it, got them both coming over today and to be honest I am keeping out of it and keeping my mouth shut, seriously peed off. Got a phone call at 1am from Kirsty asking my advice, when I gave it she didn't like it and has been quite nasty since...All I said was that as she had agreed to Marry Mark, I felt she owed him the opportunity of trying to make a go of it, as far as I am concerned she agreed to marry him she should try every avenue before she gives up on it, I also have heard that someone else has been making advances to her...now as far as I am concerned what I said was advice, her choice whether she takes the advice or not...also she has told Mark on 2 occasions so far she wants to try again, and has after this tried to wriggle out of it...I told her she can't play with his emotions like that, she didn't like that either seems I'm not standing by her and am taking Mark's side at which point I said she needs to grow up and realise that I am just pointing out that she is being a spoilt brat, that didn't go down too well ooops...Mal of course has taken her side, I don't agree with him doing that, she needs to realise she can't treat people like that and he is making it worse in my opinion siding with her ...to be honest I am sick of it, never thought I'd say this but I really want her to move out , I don't think we will recover from this while she lives here and her dad will, as he always has done, take her side over me ...I believe she needs to get out in the real world and stand on her own 2 feet and not keep relying on us and specially her dad to run about after her mopping up her mistakes. Don't get me wrong under normal circumstances she is a lovely caring girl, but recently she seems to have changed and I don't like the change in her, she seems a lot more selfish and that has never been like her always thoughtful, caring and sensitive, so like I said I am going to sit back today and keep my mouth shut.
Sorry for ranting but I am really cheesed off right now....will try and get back later who knows what will happen.
Hope you're all having a lovely day xxxxxx
Click to expand...

Hugs Lily-sounds like an awkward one :( xxx

http://www.minimins.com/slimming-world-weight-loss-diary/187905-jos-journey-infinity-beyond.html
 
Your daughter is under a lot of pressure and seems like she just wants to hear what she wants to- and she does when she goes to dad for comfort. But you're right, she does need to grow up.

Continue to be there forward her lily, you're her mother and that's why we all need them and try not to get involved.. She has to understand that it's your house and she needs to respect that,
 
If you'd have just given your opinion I could understand there being tension but you were asked for it. She didn't like the answer because she knows you're right.

She doesn't understand that as her mum you will always be there for her even if you don't agree with her.

I suppose this is one of those time that we mums have to butt out. You've expressed how you feel and now you'll just have to sit back and let them get on with it - easier said than done.

Concentrate on you and Mal. Don't let this spoil your relationship. Read back to some of those gushing (otherwise known as sickly) posts you put in your diary a few weeks back. Have some fun together and forget the family for a while.

Have some fun now before you're senile :D
 
Hi Hun,
I am always there for her and always will be I love her and her sister with all my heart, I have only ever gotten involved when she has asked my advice and opinion, like when she rang me up at 1am, but I won't go against my principals or morals for anyone, not even my children, but she doesn't have to follow my morals just accept that when she asks me I will tell her what I believe and accept that I can't change my beliefs because it suits her, it is then her choice what she does from there, not go off and get the huff cos I didn't say what she wanted to hear. I tried telling her before she pushed me for more details that it was her life and she had to do what she felt was best for her, but that wasn't enough she wanted to know what I really thought, so I told her, I was tactful and honest and obviously she didn't like that either, she has to realise that we won't always agree with her decisions but we will always support her and as I just said to Mal, he needs to stop making excuses and mopping up after her and let her start living in the real world.
But you are right it is my home and she does need to respect that too. xxxxx
 
tillymax said:
If you'd have just given your opinion I could understand there being tension but you were asked for it. She didn't like the answer because she knows you're right.

She doesn't understand that as her mum you will always be there for her even if you don't agree with her.

I suppose this is one of those time that we mums have to butt out. You've expressed how you feel and now you'll just have to sit back and let them get on with it - easier said than done.

Concentrate on you and Mal. Don't let this spoil your relationship. Read back to some of those gushing (otherwise known as sickly) posts you put in your diary a few weeks back. Have some fun together and forget the family for a while.

Have some fun now before you're senile :D
Click to expand...

I did laugh at that, "before I'm senile", ooops too late mate :giggle:
I am doing just that, sitting back it's now up to her. xxxxxx
 
Mn tricky stuff :( I admire you for being honest and sticking to your own morals rather than just telling her whatever she wants to hear.

And as you say, probably is best to just leave them to get on with it now, up to them what happens next.

:bighug:
 
Hi Lily,

Hope your ok Hunny.

I have been in a similar position to your daughter, my first marriage broke down. (I married at 21.. Far to young!) Telling my mum & dad that I thought my marriage was over was the hardest thing I ever did.

I just wanted my Mum to understand, take my side and not challenge me on my decision.

Like you, my mum gave me her very honest opinion and view. Which didn't really match my opinion.

There are times when daughters don't want to hear what there Mums have to say... But it does change.

Looking back my Mum spoke so much sense and was right in everything she was saying. (just like you are) xxx

Your daughter will make her decisions & will realise your honesty means just the same as a Dad's support.

Hope my babbling makes sense. What I am trying to say is, your doing the right thing by being totally honest with your daughter. She will wake up and appreciate that!

***hugs***

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
 
Hiya sweetie

I guess its a case of us having to let them make their own mistakes. They ask advise and don't like it :( we can't win basically. Have a huge :bighug: I just don't know what else to say as the others have said all the things I'd have said and much better too. But here if you need me sweetie :bighug: xxxxxx
 
LoChan1984 said:
Mn tricky stuff :( I admire you for being honest and sticking to your own morals rather than just telling her whatever she wants to hear.

And as you say, probably is best to just leave them to get on with it now, up to them what happens next.

:bighug:
Click to expand...

Hey Lo, thanks for that, I did think about just saying what she wanted me to say but I just couldn't go against everything I believed in. I was doubting myself and even my morals for a while there but thankfully just stuck with what I believed and fingers crossed they get it sorted out for both their sakes xx

*SugarPlum* said:
Hi Lily,

Hope your ok Hunny.

I have been in a similar position to your daughter, my first marriage broke down. (I married at 21.. Far to young!) Telling my mum & dad that I thought my marriage was over was the hardest thing I ever did.

I just wanted my Mum to understand, take my side and not challenge me on my decision.

Like you, my mum gave me her very honest opinion and view. Which didn't really match my opinion.

There are times when daughters don't want to hear what there Mums have to say... But it does change.

Looking back my Mum spoke so much sense and was right in everything she was saying. (just like you are) xxx

Your daughter will make her decisions & will realise your honesty means just the same as a Dad's support.

Hope my babbling makes sense. What I am trying to say is, your doing the right thing by being totally honest with your daughter. She will wake up and appreciate that!

***hugs***

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins
Click to expand...

Hi Sugar, you can't believe how much what you said means to me, it has really upset me that it seems to have put a wedge between us (having said that she has come home sick and guess who she wants), she is a very young sheltered 22 year old to some degree and hasn't really had to stand up and do anything for herself or make her own decisions really.
I guess having made this decision she now feels that we should back her no matter what, she has kept saying to me all week "All I wanted was for you to show me that you stand by me no matter what" and I have said if you can't see that I do stand by you, just because I don't necessarily agree with your decision, then there's nothing more I can do.
Mark has been here all day running round after her clearing up her mess (she has gastroenteritis) and doing just about anything and everything to make sure she is ok bless him
I just hope whatever she decides, that she doesn't go out of her way to hurt him (she seems to have been doing that lately, possibly trying to get him to dump her so she can feel less guilt), cos he really doesn't deserve that no matter what xxxxxxxxxx

JackieN said:
Hiya sweetie

I guess its a case of us having to let them make their own mistakes. They ask advise and don't like it :( we can't win basically. Have a huge :bighug: I just don't know what else to say as the others have said all the things I'd have said and much better too. But here if you need me sweetie :bighug: xxxxxx
Click to expand...

Hi sweetie, Thank you hunni I know you are always there for me and I can't thank you enough xx
I swear I never get involved unless they ask me too and Kirsty always seems to, sometimes I agree with her and sometimes I don't, I will not take her side if I believe she is wrong and she knows that.
But I think this time she was wanting me to go with her, we talked for ages and what has really made me unhappy is not that she wants to dump Mark sad as it is, it's her life, but that she has told him twice that she has decided to give it another go and then treated him like crap cos it seems it's not what she really wants...so like you've all said time for her to stand on her own 2 feet and make her own decisions.
I think the stress of it all has really gotten to me, my right foot is covered in pustules and is extremely sore, so much so that I am finding it hard to sleep with it and the last 2 days I have eaten like a horse, mostly good stuff, but did have a couple of mini rolls which I don't even like for god's sake.
I have hospital on Wednesday with my dermatologist so fingers crossed we can find another way of getting this sorted as the flare ups are getting more regular again, can put up with them anywhere other than my feet, I hate having to hop about I'm still way too heavy for that lol
Sweet dreams everyone, catch you on the morrow xxxxxxxxxx
 
:bighug:I worried that the stress would make you poorly again :(

Hope you managed to get some sleep and that wednesday comes round quickly for you xxx
 
Lily42uk said:
Hi Hun,
I am always there for her and always will be I love her and her sister with all my heart, I have only ever gotten involved when she has asked my advice and opinion, like when she rang me up at 1am, but I won't go against my principals or morals for anyone, not even my children, but she doesn't have to follow my morals just accept that when she asks me I will tell her what I believe and accept that I can't change my beliefs because it suits her, it is then her choice what she does from there, not go off and get the huff cos I didn't say what she wanted to hear. I tried telling her before she pushed me for more details that it was her life and she had to do what she felt was best for her, but that wasn't enough she wanted to know what I really thought, so I told her, I was tactful and honest and obviously she didn't like that either, she has to realise that we won't always agree with her decisions but we will always support her and as I just said to Mal, he needs to stop making excuses and mopping up after her and let her start living in the real world.
But you are right it is my home and she does need to respect that too. xxxxx
Click to expand...


Hi Lily. sorry to hear your daughter and her boyfriend are having more problems and you are in the middle, I had a disagreement with my mum 25yrs ago and still haven't spoken, don't let it get to you and make you ill, sending a big:bighug: wish you were my mum. xx
 
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