So Down Down Down !!!

Thanks Geri

Girlfriend has not been able to face me since the burglary. Very suspicious!. Her Mother just believes everything she says. Everyone says she over indulges her daughter. What DD says she believes. At the moment we are the bad people. I wonder if she will feel the same if the police find what they are hoping for.

Before this she (GF) said that she felt I was her second Mum and she got on better with me than her mother.

Will try to ring you tomorrow

Thanks Geri

love Pam xx
 
Oh Pam ! my heart goes out to you sweetheart glad to hear things are getting better with DH and i hope the police get to the bottom of the burgulary xxxxxx
 
Redpam, I just read your initial post and I am sending you a big hug. I am so thrilled that you have decided not to be apart from your husband and I hope your move to Portugal works out. I am so, so sorry to hear about your burglary and your son's behaviour with his new girlfriend. You don't deserve any of that. I really hope things work out for you all and most importantly of all you and your husband start a new life in Portugal.
 
Thanks Kityykat and Janey for you kind words.

Dh has been wonderful over all these problems. The idea was to retire abroad when DH is 60 (next year) but at the moment I feel that if we sell our house this year and downsize over here we could let the house here and go there sooner. I keep looking at the photos of the new house and making plans of want I want to do there lol
 
Hi Redpam, sorry things are still up in the air.

My heart really goes out to you, prehaps DD can stay ay GF home to give you a bit of space.

Take on day at a time, just keep dreaming the dream in Portugal.

HUGS
x
 
Hi Redpam

Just wanted to send you a big hug and let you know i'm still thinking of you - hope all is ok with you today.

Take care

xxxx
 
OMG PAM! I've only just seen this and I'm so sorry I haven't replied earlier!!

I can't believe what total and utter hell you must be going through now - it's just so shocking! To quote King Lear - How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is To have a thankless child!

I truly hope that this misfortune can bring you and DH closer together and you can build a new life in Portugal.

Sending you all my love and best wishes for the next 9 months, darling!

xxxxxxxxxxx
 
Thank you Jan, June and Isobel.

Today has been a bit calmer and luckily he has been out most of the day. Last night he rang at about 11pm when we were in bed demanding to be let in becuase he wanted his old phone and would not wait till the morning.

Dh has been marvellous with him this evening and very calm although he feels anything but inside.

His GF's mother will only allow him to stay at weekends and this is why he wants to move to the caravan at the travellers site so they can be together all the time. They were taking in turns in staying at each others house but since the robbery the GF wont come near.

I am still feeling very shaken and nervy with all his bad behaviour and threats so DH says I must go to see the Doctor tomorrow. But what can he do because I dont want to be put on antidepressants?

I am not looking forward to tomorrow as he has no college so he will be at home all day and his GF will be at college. Hopefully he will sleep until late in the morning which may put him in a better mood. Heres hoping.
 
I can understand that you don't want to go on the old happy pills, honey - although they've seen me through some very bleak times - but maybe your GP might know of a support group that you could contact? That might help a bit with tips on how to handle your son???

I think you have the patience of a saint! My girls get rollocked for such minor misdemeanours - mind you they are still very young and are still smaller than me!

I really hope you have a quiet day tomorrow, darling!

xxxxx
 
Hi RedPam...just popped by to see how you are...:) hope GP appt went OK....and things are quiet for you and DH...

lotsa love

Debz
xx
 
Have just found this thread and want to say how sorry I am that you are having such an awful time. Perhaps now is the time to put yourself first and concentrate on your relationship and as the others have said your son is nearly an adult and needs to take responsibility for his actions and behaviour. Have the police said anything else? The break in sounds very suspicious to me too. I could not have coped without the happy pills and have recently had to go back on them but would hate to think what I would have been like without them.
The place in Portugal sounds wonderful and I hope it brings you much happiness
Sending you all my love
Irene xx
 
Hi Am feeling a bit brighter today. I did not go to Drs which did not go down too well with DH. Especially as I felt in need of a lie down at 5pm before I could cook their dinner. This is just not like me. Perhaps I should go to see the Dr and if tablets could lift this black cloud it would help.

DS got up first thing and went off. I think GF must have woken him and took him with her when she went to college. He said something about going to the job centre but I dont expect anything came of that.

The Police have not been in touch today as promised but still they have more important things happening.

Better news is that I sent off the first deposit on the house in Portugal which really made us (DH, Mum and me) feel better.:) :)

You are right I must start withdrawing and put myself and DH first.

Bless you all for your kind words
 
Oh Pam, only just seen your post :hug99:

I'm so sorry you're going through a tough time, especially when it should be the start of a new life for you.

Sending you many :hug99: and hope you get to the bottom of the burglary

Mandana x
 
glad you had a better day yesterday Pam, but do go and see your Dr if you're still struggling, don't battle on alone when he/she could really help.

Great news on the deposit though, makes it all seem more real I would think and will give you all something positive to focus on.

Take care
xx
 
Hi Mandana

Coping is the best way to describe things at the moment.
Cant say too much at the moment but burglary wise it looks as if it will all come to a head in the next few days.

DS is still misbehaving and and it is all being directed at me. The disgusting names he is calling me are really knocking me for six. I am trying to follow my DH's attitude and not react to what he is saying but is very hard. I did not think a son could say such vile things to his mother. But I was wrong.

Still we hope that by the end of the week we will knw more.

The problem is he is not taking his medication so a lot of the time he is not rational. Also he has been in contact with members of his family who will make matters worse.

It has made us decide to put the house on the market and downsize here so that we can move to Portugal full time next year. The property here will then be let.

Hope your move is going well. No long now. Lucky you

love Pamx
 
Oh Pam,

I am so sorry for all you are going through at the moment :hug99:.

If your GP offers you some 'happy pills' hunny, you take them - they really will help you to cope with it all.

I'm sorry but I really wouldn't be taking the nonsense from your son. I think I'd refuse to give him lifts until he was at least civil to me. I can understand that you are wary and possibly scared of him though. He shouldn't be doing this to you and deep down I'll bet he knows it.

Is there any chance they could move into that caravan sooner rather than later? I know he's only 17 but I work with kids of that age and believe me, most of them are more than capable of looking after themselves ;)

Pam, my heart goes out to you & I really do hope that things settle down and soon. Just keep thinking ahead to your new home & life in the sun. Really hope the police come up with something positive and soon too :hug99: xxx
 
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