Squeezes diary week 1

[jenhen72]

Thanks so much for the support and friendly kick up the butt Squeeze!! I sure need it.

I'm sorry I didn't do a very good job of supporting you last night in your hour of need, I just moaned about me

Everything you said is spot on, I really do need to ignore those voices, eveytime I cheat I don't even really enjoy the food Im eating, its crazy, I don't like the feeling of food in my stomach either I just want it out! I quite like the empyy/full feeling of the shakes and water feeling LT gives, and the energy I get from it, nothing worse than pigging out then not being able to move for like 4 hours...

Oooh what you said about the voices bullying too that's just it isn't it?
I remember those Tom and Jerry cartoons with an angel and the devil wrestling in his head, I need to let the angel get the upperhand he he!

Well today is a new day, and Im now feeling postive thanks to you girls, thanks!!

Hope you all have a lovely weekend!!

 

[jenhen72]

Hi Katie,

I have eaten so much I have felt like this too, why do we do this? Its crazy isnt it to eat till it hurts?

I would like to understand why I have done this myself for soo long? Actually I would say ive been at my worst this past year, I used to drink a fair bit of alcohol{wine] and smoke but gave up smoking 2 years ago, and cut down massivley on my wine too, so I think I have used food to replace those vices...

In the past my weight has remained consistent and I used to follow Atkins to lose weight and got along with that quite well as I never felt that hungry {being in ketosis and all} and enjoyed the proteins and salads, I got used to having no carbs and never craved them.

This last year has been in stark contrast!! A continual carb fest I think!! CARBS ARE EVIL!!!

I know if Im ever to maintain my weight after LT I need to make healthy choices, I really don't want to yo yo diet for the rest of my life.

I love this forum and intend to come on here more when im feeling low, it really helps having all your support. xx

 

[Leluna]

squeeze i laughed out loud at the picture of you and your mum sharin an egg????????!!!!!!!!! sorry chick! but when did you ever think you would be satisfied with half an egg??!! if you're like me at the moment half of KFC would be better?! so glad you're back on form... was worried about ya.. thought you might break but was hoping you would break with protein... Jen has made me feel a whole lot better coz like she and Cham says even if you do break it, you really dont feel any better and like you i know if i did break it... half an egg would not even tip the sides.... i would be roamin thru my fridge like a whirlwind... thats why you and i are still 100% kid coz we know if we have a taste it will lead to a skipload! have a good day xxxxx

 

[Cham Pers]

I wish that id been a 100% i feel gutted that i didnt have it in me to do it :-( i mean ive stopped feeling guilty about it so it doesnt bother me but what does bother me is if i cant do this 100% then how am i going to keep it off afterwards??? Im going to follow harcombe diet after so hopefully like she says ur cravings will stop. I hope so really i do i dont mind picking on chicken if i want to pick or cheese so hopefully i can break the picking thing. Fingers X

 

[Leluna]

hey Cham... cmon... why are you worried about breakin it... sure the weight's flyin off you.... as long as the weight comes off and you're in a happier frame of mind well is that not why we're all on here?? This site is full of diet forums... slimming world, weightwatchers, exante, lighterlife etc... doesnt matter what you follow as long as the weight comes off..... if i had to lick the paint off the walls i would to be skinny again!!!! what matters is once the weight is off we just have to train ourselves with snackin and pickin etc.... im tryin to use the time whilst im on this to reflect and sort out some sort of plan goin forward.... and you should too... don't worry about what's behind you... your weight is flyin off and you're not that heavy, so chin up and look forward to all your friends reactions when they see the new you!! xx

 

[squeeze86]

Hey girlies well I didnt cave... that was the hardest struggle so far though. But i feel great today and feel like iv conquered another hurdle. As silly as sharing an egg seems, thats how desperate I felt. But it would have been such a stupid thing to do.
On the subject of eating til ya chunder.. thats such a common thing for me to do. especially as I used to smoke a lot of greenery that sent my appetite through the roof. I remember one time, me and a mate ordered an epic takeaway... we ordered 2 large kebabs, 6 pieces of chicken, 2 cheesey chips, an 18" pizza, an 18" garlic bread and 2 pieces of chocolate fudge cake. and we ate ALL of it cuz we were baked. And i was so ill for about 3 days from stretching my stomach.. It was enough to feed about 6 people and I do not know how we did it. And i too cannot bear to see food go to waste so i force food in until im in a lot of pain. I NEVER want to think of myself being like that again. Its disgusting. Have any of you seen the manga cartoon spirited away?? theres a bit in that where the kids parents turn into pigs and are sat there guzzling food.. i feel like them far too often.

Im glad you feel better today jen... dont worry i didnt think you were moaning at all and it was nice to offer some of my own positivity to you... it reminded me that I have the positivity in me and I should listen to my own advice lol. I think 'ignoring' the voices in the long run is a lot less effective than confronting them, challenging them and beating them. Dont just try to ignore them.. argue with them and overpower them with your own thoughts. I truly believe those voices are not your own.. they are an entity of their own and they DO bully you. Be strong against them sweetie cuz they will try very hard to weaken you, telling you that you will never succeed, that you are not worth it, that you may as well give up. But its BOLOX hun. you do deserve it, you CAN do it and the more you fight against them, the stronger a person you will be. man I hate those nasty voices!

Cham dont worry about the slip-ups... you have done amazingly well and you have learnt very valuable lessons from having little moments of weakness. You are shedding the pounds despite the accidents and the closer you get to your goal, the stronger you will be. And when you have lost all the weight, you will value yourself more and wont risk the hard work by giving in to eating loads of rubbish. everyone will have moments where they eat naughty things, but if we can be 100% most of the time on this which im sure u have, then you can be healthy most the time when ur eating again. Come on girl.. if you can ignore that buffet then you will be able to be strong on maintenance!! Just gotta believe in yourself I totally agree with everythin Loz said

The sun is shining here.. hope it is where you lot are It helps me to feel positive. Just think how gorgeous we are all going to look this summer! he he cant wait keep up the great work, really proud of us all xx

 

[Cham Pers]

Ahhh thanks my lovelies, yes you are right! I can and will keep it off after TFR. I am about half way thro now so even if i slip up now and then it aint gonna hurt as i still keep losing which is great so my slip ups cant be that bad i suppose x and im not perfect and will never be so if i pig out once in a while after this i will get straight back on it again! And follow the 90/10 rule, i dont want to give myself too much leeway Yay

Squeeze i was a right muncher/all day grazer and never got full! I would eat a whole family sized cake in one day as well as all my other meals and snacks. I would just keep on going until it was all gone. It makes me sick thinking about how bad my obsession got. So at least i know a bit of cheese and ham actually isnt that bad! X

 

[jenhen72]

Squeeze, thats good advice-argue with the voices, argue with them, kick ass!! tell off that bit of cheese or ham thats saying eat me, go on... my 4 year old daughter will think im going mad talking to food!!

The sun is shining here too, it makes me feel goood, I even tried some of my fave tops on today, boy were they tight, they have now been hung on the front of the wardrobe, one particular top is hanging on the kitchen door, {best place for me- near the fridge} to remind me, so everytime I want to pick, I can see it!


Interesting this whole pigging out thing, the 'amount' of food I mean that we used to be able to pack away. My worst food vice is Indian, we have a wonderful restaurant locally which do an 'eat as much as like' Sunday buffet, shamefully we have been nearly every Sunday since last May {after I got married} I would say this would account for the majority of my weight gain since then... 3 .5 stone I like to go out for lunch on Sunday, and I would eat a big starter, and fill my plate twice, till I was bursting.

Last year after doing LT 100% for 5 weeks I went there for lunch and had a few mouthfuls and was full, do you think I wanted to stop there? NOO of course not! My stomach had shrunk so much, and do you know I didn't like the fact that I couldn't eat loads!! THIS is what I need to relearn, that food should be savoured, eaten slowly, until your just comfotably full, having had a slice of ham or a tiny mouhful of cheese in the last couple of weeks, its really weird but after 10 mins I feel full like I have eaten a dinner, that is shocking... im talking a 'mouthful' here, it just goes to show we need very 'little' food in our stomach to signal to the brain that we are full, stuffing food is all greed and the mind playing tricks, saying we need enough for 4 people! I don't even know what's comforting about it, if I watch Supersize V Superskinny on tv I think how gross at what the bigger people can eat, but that's like me, I feel disgusted with myself.

If we really take time/choosing what we eat, actually question do we really want it? need it? thinking about why we are craving it? If you can walk away, think, I may have a little of that later... instead of just shovelling it in without even giving it any thought, I think that's half the battle won...eating less, and slowly, takes time to relearn, but must be a permanent change if we are to maintain our slinky new figures.

Another thing that bothering me is- like last year the more weight I lost my body just got saggier and saggier, I wasnt blessed with good elasticity in my skin, and have masses of stretch marks on my tummy and thighs from my 3 pregnancies, and looose slack skin that will never tone up in a million years, so fingers crossed I win the lottery so I can have a tummy tuck one day! For now the Bridget Jones knickers and push up bras will have to do....

Have a nice eve girls xx

 

[Leluna]

ahhh squeeze screamin with laughter at the family feast assisted by the greenery... can just see ya sittin there in the middle of the food mountain..... imagine you've come from that to craving half an egg??!! im the same tho... i cannot put food in the bin, it has to go down my hatch..... no matter what the kids leave it's mine! i never feel full and just keep eatin and eatin.... grazin all day every day.... christmas gone i bought a couple of tins of Roses for various people.. they were half price in November, so got them and chucked them up in the attic..... was sitting watchin tv one weekend and at about one in the moring was absolutely gaggin for chocolate... knew there was nothing in the house and was havin withdrawal symptoms.... kerrrchinnnggg i remembered i had the Roses in the attic..... hopped up and had to get past the crimbo decorations.... kids old nursery stuff... clothes.... lamps... all that crap and got the tin... EUREKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! would've actually made a great tv ad for Roses..... jen you should buy the book 'Geneen Roth' 'Women, food and god' sounds all holy but it really isn't ... teaches you to listen to your stomach and get in tune with your feelings... i found it brillo! some great tips and everything she said rang a bell with me..... cham keep the chin up lady... you're soooo nearly there and are doin a great job dealing with your kids and managing this..... stay strong girls!!! xxxx

 

[squeeze86]

evening ladies
Jen with regards to the saggyness.. im terrified. Like I said yesterday im already gutted at what the hell has happened to my boobs. And i had a hideous, stretchmark covered belly from pregnancy too. Im fingers crossed for an NHS tummy tuck and im tempted to go on 'myfreeimplants' to get my boobs sorted. Although I think you might need to be a bit of a sl@g to pull it off lol. I dont want to be skinny and be hideous though. Iv bought some bio oil and hoping that will help a bit. its scary though.
Defo tell the food off ha ha. It will probably work, things always have more power when they are said outloud. My 3 and a half year old already thinks im mad cuz I pick up bits of her dinner and have a big sniff to satisfy my urges.
Im really looking forward to eating small amounts and feeling full. Me and mum are gonna buy those diet plates and stick to the sections so that we dont allow ourselves the opportunity to over eat. My weakness is chinese though.. am gonna have to fone them all and tell them not to deliver to me no matter how much i beg ha ha.

Cham.. iv seen some people say they do lipotrim but do allow themselves protein and it not be cheating. If you choose to stick to 90/10 and still get the losses then why not! I know you got it nailed chick whichever way you do it, and everyones circumstances are different. As long as you kick the grazing habit and change your old ways then its all win x

Loz honest to god we were actually sat on the floor in a food mountain. Im disgusted to remember it!! Thing is, my friend is skinny! I dunno how she does it lol. It is totally crazy that I can go from that to wanting half an egg!
LMAO at the roses escapade! I can so relate though.. I actually unwrapped a box of chocolates from under the tree last year during a choc craving. But right now.. the last thing in the world I would want to eat is chocolate!! I NEVER thought i would say that! What I crave is meat. A big rare steak or some lamb chops **drooool** ah never mind. Ill just have a pint of water instead. WOW how hardcore are we??! it keeps hitting me how incredibly strong and amazing we are to do this!!!
xxx

 

[Cham Pers]

I know what you mean! Im not craving cakes sweeties or chocolates but things like bananas and porridge and chicken and cheese, it all smells so good. Im looking forward to healthy eating and being healthy rather than feeling bloated and sluggish. Im gonna keep a food diary too so i can work out all my food intolerances as i definately know i have a wheat intolerance but sure i have others too just gotta find out what they are

Ive struggled a bit today so have sat in the spare room upstairs watching tv tonight so that i am as far away from the kitchen as possible i fell asleep too and it helped abit. I woke up and got a big drink. Ive had far too much to drink today ive had about 14 pints of tea/coffee/water just to keep me filled up and distracted from eating. At least im out to football tomorro i find it easier being away from home rather than surrounded by yummy food. Argh roll on June it cant come soon enough! ur doing so well :in awe of anyone who remains 100% well done girlues x

 

[squeeze86]

Aww well done Cham! Getting thru those hard days is such a battle so big hug and a pat on the back for seein it through. And have a great day tomorrow with less temptation!
I too am really looking forward to a healthy diet after... And intrigued to see how different things taste. Actually thinking of starting off on refeed eating things I don't like such as beetroot and celery. Just to see what I make of them with a fresh pallette! Although I'll still probably yak em out bleughhh lol. Xx

 

[Jessie 888]

Squeeze, I'm with you on the meat cravings big time but won't succumb. I love your idea of trying out things like beetroot and celery during refeed - stroke of genius that - I'm going to give that a go - if I ever reach that refeed stage! I also have loads of skinny friends like you who can binge quite happily or "forget to eat" all day. How is it possible to forget?! Food is always at the forefront of my mind - that's why I've got problems and why I'm loving LT cos my only choice is which packet to open.
The Roses story made me laugh - understand that one totally! Not as bad as my sister-in-law who nicked all the chocs in her kids advent calendars one year. She told them she had thrown them away cos they'd not been doing their chores! Years of therapy ahead for those poor kids ...

 

[Leluna]

hey squeeze must've been all that talk of meat... cravin chicken big time today! great weather here so out all day which is a bonus coz i dont have my head stuck in the fridge howling with the injustice of it all *sob* ... ah only jokin im in great form, coz i managed to fit into my size 16 white linen trousers today... now that was with a long top over them, they were nearly cuttin me in half.... but still.. they were on me.. wayhayyyyyy... im not a 16, coz my others wont fit.. but still thats a big thumbs up for me!!! hope you're gettin that flat ready for the skinnyminny girlies weekend extravaganza girl???!!! have a good day and talk to ya later....xxx

 

[squeeze86]

Hey everyone, Just letting you know why I havent been on for a bit.. I have a poorly little lady and aint had time to be online. But Ill be back soon to see how everyone is doing. Im still going strong and looking forward to weigh in tomorrow!!
Hope you are all doing great and enjoying the wonderful sunshine
much love xx
p.s well done loz for getting into the size 16s!! woop woop im over a stone lighter than you and still am size 20!! xx

 

[irish molly]

Hope your little one is well soon. Take care of her and yourself.

 

[Cham Pers]

Big (((hugs))) for baby squeeze xxxxx

 

[bye-bigun!]

baby squeeze, LOVE IT!!! LOL! Aww I so know how this feels, hence why I have not been on much too... all 3 of mine have been poorly AND had manflu in the house!!! Hope shes on the mend soon hun and you are back with us super soon!
And very good luck at WI tmw, cant wait to see how u have done xxx

 

[Leluna]

hey squeeze glad to hear you're ok, when i didnt see you on here i was worrying you had hit the biscuits! Sorry to hear about baby squeeze hope she's ok, it's worrying when they're not well not to mention how exhausted you are yourself.... chat to ya later wen you get a mo to come back to us!!! xxxxxxxxxx

 

[jenhen72]

Ahh hope your little one picks up soon, my 3 year old woke up all feverish and coughing this morning so looks like im in for it too!

Hope you have good loss on your weigh in.

I had my 3rd WI this morning and lost another 5lbs this week, you girls really helped me with your wise words last week when I was wobbly, im properly in the zone now and managed to get through the weekend 100% {my hardest time] so thanks and big hugs!! xx