Starting in 2014!

Off to third week weigh in this evening... Wish me luck!!
 
Thanks, Liz and Dream. Well trying not to be disappointed because actually it's not that bad but I want more, dammit!! Lol.

Three pounds.

That takes me to 1st 5lb in three weeks, and also got me my 10% prize (which I didn't know existed!!)

I think this week is hard because the reality hits. It's so easy to gain weight superfast when you're not watching carbs, but after the initial glycogen whoosh it just comes off at it's own steady pace and nothing you do can speed it up. Hey ho! At least I'm doing this, right?!
 
My average is 3lbs and it's somehow added up to 77 lbs. a quick mosey round the SW and WW forums and people would be whooping at 3lbs. I know it seems tough when we seem to be missing out on stuff and don't have our usual food crutch to lean on but it will mount up and sooner than you imagine you'll be slipping on the fantastic skinny outfits. Such a joy knowing I have 10-15 things to wear when I get up instead of rotating a tired 2 or 3.

Stick with it.
 
Still bit down - hubby thinks I should go back on the Prozac. But weirdly I feel more 'real' than I have in ages. Thing is, I'm used to masking my emotions with food or antidepressants, but now I'm just me. My commute is in fact tiring. My job is stressful and not particularly rewarding. These are facts. It will change - My role may well be made redundant this year or I will choose to leave, but I feel better not pretending things are ok when they're not. I don't think my hubby likes it though. I guess he had no way of knowing I was so unhappy. How could he, when I didn't realise it myself?!

Stayed up late finishing my lecture for today. Nervous about it, despite having done something similar the past two years. I will be glad when it is done! I do feel a sense of achievement in getting through yesterday's big events. I can do this!! Went off plan a little last night. I watched a programme about fat and sugar and got worried by the way it represented the high fat diet as damaging. I worried that means that my low carb plan for maintenance is less healthy than I thought it was. But then I've thought about it and what they were showing wasn't 'low carb' it was 'no carb', which is very different.

Anyway, i allowed tiredness and anxiety to get the better of me and had some spoonfuls of peanut butter (roll eyes at this point) some cheese and some ham, and then a fistful of chakri sticks. I am a complete sucker for spicy Indian snacks. Gah. Oh, and a cup of tea with milk! In the grand scheme of things I don't feel it constitutes a 'binge' as such as it was quite controlled in some ways, but I hope I can learn from it.
 
Have you ever considered some form of counselling/psychology? I used to think these things were all a load of rubbish until I tried seeing a psychologist as a last resort. The outcome was amazing. I recommend it to everyone. I have learned so much about dealing with my problems the correct way which has in turn given me the courage to do the diet.x
 
Yes, indeed! I had six sessions of psychotherapy last year, and it was brilliant, but expensive. I didn't feel right continuing with it as it was straining our family budget (my husband doesn't work because he has multiple sclerosis). Only thing is it opened some doors into a long-forgotten "me": the me with buried feelings... Which is great, but is making for some difficult times as I learn to process "feelings" (a bit of an alien concept to me really).

Right now I'm just very very very tired, and dispirited. But life isn't meant to be easy, is it?! I just wish I got a bit more time at home with my family, didn't have such an insane commute every day, and had more time for creative hobbies and had lost the weight already! I don't want much, do I?

I'll manage. Thank you for your suggestion though.
 
My sister decided not to take anti depressants as she just preferred the feeling of reality that you describe. I think it's a trade off but a tough one at times. My Compassion Focussed Therapy group that I'm doing at the moment is really helpful in combination with taking the carbs away. It's made me realise what an incredibly anxious person I am without the numbing effects of carbs but is also giving me the tools to deal with it. I've always understood the need to do that but I've not really known how or what it feels like. It's based broadly on this book and Paul Gilbert's approach http://www.amazon.co.uk/Compassionate-Aproach-Beating-Overeating-Overcoming/dp/1845298772 If I remember it does link to meditations that you can do (I've not reviewed it lately as we are being given ours as part of the course). I know that you are sometimes able to get the train so maybe some way to use that positively.

I know it is tough to have the threat of redundancy hanging over you but I think you can sense it might be a real opportunity to reduce that commute and get the job that gives you more satisfaction. It seems like it is incredibly draining and particularly at this time of year.

Hope your lecturing went well and then you have an easier ride to relaxing weekend.
 
Taking a couple of days off. I wouldn't advocate this as a strategy but am poorly, again! Swollen tonsils and can hardly speak. Want to have honey and lemon and homemade soups. Probably not ideal but given I was ill for three weeks just before Christmas because I didn't look after myself I want to nip this one in the bud.

Got appointment next week on Tuesday not Wednesday because of a panel discussion I'm taking part in next Wednesday and plan to climb right back in the wagon (and believe me, I know that's not trivial!)

Sent from my HTC One using MiniMins.com mobile app
 
Thanks, guys. I'm not worried about myself today after all as my Mum called me at 7:30am to say she'd had a fall and couldn't get up. She's really not very well at all - very weak and laboured breathing. I'm a bit scared (she's 85). The out of hours doctor was great, and I'm booking her a home visit from her GP tomorrow (he debated admitting her to hospital but felt there are many more positive things about staying at home, which I'm really pleased he did). I'm staying over tonight in case she needs the loo or anything as she's really struggling to lift herself up and down or to walk more than a step or two. So... Just one day at a time one day at a time.
 
Now in hospital

Sent from my HTC One using MiniMins.com mobile app
 
Hope your mum gets better soon Spangly ((((hugs)))) xx
 
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