Story thread

[sonkie]

to find he had the worst case of athletes foot she had ever seen.......she quickly grabbed his boots and ran to the ...............

 

[devonbabe]

TARDIS where she knew the doctor had just installed a new panty liner dispenser..these ones were special, they had wings and it was her intention to get as many winged pads as possible, stick them all over her body, and with the help of 2 cans of red bull, fly away from this mad situation she had found herself in.

4 minutesd later, she was hovvering above the TARDIS, singing.......WOWWWWWWWw BODY FORMMMM .....Body form for Youuuuu and glugging the 3rd can of red bull when all of a sudden.........

 

[CW Consultant]

the heat from the sun melted the adhesive backing and without warning the pads fell off

 

[devonbabe]

she began to freefall wildly, arms and legs flapping in a vain attempt to break the fall. the Martha the mother melondragon happend to be flying below and she landed softly on its back.. the melon dragon soared high into the clouds and....

 

[icemoose]

spotted that a new Lidl's had just opened and quickly flew down to grab some "early bird" bargains but was shocked beyond belief to find the shop was inhabited by...

 

[devonbabe]

a large mixed group of followers of Dr L Ron Hubbard and the church of Scientology, they were on a day trip from Great Yarmouth.. and were told that the secrets of the universe could be found among the frozen pizzas in Aisle 2. freezer number 7

 

[CW Consultant]

They quickly ran to the pizza isle drooling at the thought of spicy pepporami and mushroom, as they approached the floor opened revealing a

 

[Mrs Depp]

giant set of Weight Watchers scales surrounded by hundreds of bright lights. It started to rise up from underneath the floor...........

 

[devonbabe]

strawberry jam began oozing from between the floor tiles....it begain snowing marshmallow flumps...and still the scales rose up from the floor, like some huge phallis.. pulsating lights ,and pumping music filled the interior of Lidl, the carpark outside was awash with fleeing scientologists with pepperami pizzas stuffed up their jumpers and crushed into their tour bus...

the scales stopped rising, the marshallows covered the floor completly, Kiera was on her hands and knees licking the jam off the floor tiles...then it all went quiet and a voice boomed.......

 

[sonkie]

Cleaner to checkout 3 please there has been a spillage of .......

 

[Mrs Depp]

.............. but before she could finish that sentence Keira had slurped the lot up and was rubbing her still flat stomach contentedly without even a drop of strawberry jam dripping from her pouty lips!

The people of the Church of Scientology climbed back out of their tour bus and were looking at her very angrily, they had specifically come to view the Sea Of Jam And Mallows that Dr Hubbard had written about in his last book and now it was gone!

Keira had to think fast, they looked angry and although she didn't scare easily (she has a sword after all!) she knew that she had to escape as fast as possible.

Just as she was formulating an escape plan in her pretty mind, George of the Jungle came swooping down into Lidl on a specially strengthened light fitting (there were no jungle vines available as they'd sold out the day before). He swooped past Keira's upstretched arms....................

 

[CW Consultant]

and completely missed crashing into a huge display of BOGOF baked beans sending them crashing to the floor. The tins started rolling round the aisles and

 

[Mrs Depp]

George hurredly stood up and re-arranged his loincloth with an embarrased smile.

Just then the Lidl manager came rushing over.........

 

[sonkie]

Can you please put that pepperami that is hanging out of your loin cloth back on display, the manager went to grab it and realised it was in fact .......

 

[Mrs Depp]

..........a cucumber!!! Sonkie you bad girl!!

"Let me take that" said Keira excitedly lunging towards George's cucumber.

At that moment there was a loud rumble outside, evertbody rushed to the Lidl electronic doors just in time to see the Scientology Tour bus careering towards Dr Who's Tardis.

"Oh no!" Shouted the Doc...............

 

[CW Consultant]

my insurance ran out yesterday

 

[Mrs Depp]

my insurance ran out yesterday

"NO worries!" shouted the dashing Nick Knowles, presenter of DIY SOS.

"I just happened to be shopping here for some pasties for the crew, we're working on a garden shed just around the corner from here. Give us an hour or so and we'll be around to rebuild you a new Tardis Doc!"

With a cheeky smile and a wink Nick paid for his 45 pasties and left the shop.

"Oh well, that's a relief" sighed Dr Who................

 

[sonkie]

At least Keira wont be able to binge on the pasties now....

 

[Fuzzys Angel]

......Time soon past & as promised the dashing Nick Knowles & his crew returned to help rebuild Dr Who a new Tardis. "Any special requirements doc?" Nick Knowles asked the doctor. "Yes" the doctor said very excited. "infact there is" he replied with a huge grin on his face. "If you don't mind i've always wanted great big........

 

[CW Consultant]

jacuzzie and steam room together with a relaxtion area with bar