Story thread

[sonkie]

What is cd........what does it stand for .....so Keira said it was an old box she kept her compact discs in, she threw it into the bin and walked off.......then all the paparazzi nurst into fits of laughter.......she wondered why they were laughing. Were they laughing at her or someone else????????
She turned to take a glance to see who they were laughing at and then she saw....................

 

[CW Consultant]

CD Counsellor waving a big stick - Oi Knightley your BMI is too low to SS what are you playing at:whoopass:

 

[Meneither]

CD Counsellor waving a big stick - Oi Knightley your BMI is too low to SS what are you playing at:whoopass:

CD Counsellor then said "get your miserley thin butt back in to maccies d and get your pouty gob a couple of delux delux extra humungous quaterpounders with extra extra burger, jack sparrow wont fancy you if your butt has less meat on it than a crows leg"

In walked Jack sparrow and his evil clone they looked at Kera and CD Councillior and said Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...................


Me.

 

[Mrs Depp]

"Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa so you're not really a veggie after all then Keira With The Pouty Lips?! You've lied to me/us for ages and for that you shall pay the ultimate pirate price................."

"GET THE PLANK READY LADS, KNIGHTLEY'S GOING DOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWNNNN!!!!!" said the 2 Captain Jacks rubbing their hands gleefully............

 

[sonkie]

They pull on their latex gloves and get the ky jelly out ........

 

[sonkie]

Then apply said gel to the plank......Cap`n Jack made the big mistake and started greasing the plank from the boat end out to over the sea.....doh what a wally....lol.
So as he got to the end of the plank he stood up to walk back and slipped on the gel and............

 

[sonkie]

Cracked his n**s on the plank........ouch he squealed in a high pitch voice.
He crawled back along the plank....slipping and sliding then fell.......everyone waited for the "splash" but it didnt happen..........they rushed over to see what had happened, they peered over the side to see..............................

 

[SHAZA]

.....a beautiful voluptuous size 24 mermaid had caught Cap'n Jack in her womanly tail therefore rescueing him from the stormy sea. As she dived deeper and deeper into the frothy ocean you could hear ...................

 

[sonkie]

Her belly rumble.......it was time for lunch.......so what was it to be...........she decided to go to the swim through at prawn king she decided to order for cap`n jack to so she got the order and swam to the shore so they could eat together...whilst eating they suddenly saw ..........

 

[sonkie]

a flash of light....it was blinding, then they heard the familiar sound of the Tardis.........Next minute there it was on the shore, the door opened and out walked..............

 

[Isis]

....Mrs Depp!!!!! ....dressed head to foot in black leather and cracking the longest whip you have ever seen!!!!


She took one look at the mermaid and bellowed.....

I'VE COME FOR MY MAN!!!!!!!

Cap'n Jack looked at Mrs Depp, the looked at the mermaid...then slowly got to his feet and said.......

 

[Mrs Depp]

"Darling I've been waiting for you to come and rescue me from this slimy slippery mermaid! Take me home and make mad passionate love to me - you sexy siren in leather!"

 

[CW Consultant]

but you have betrayed me she said I have only come to tell you

 

[devonbabe]

the washing machines broke and you latex laderhosen are jammed inside

 

[Mrs Depp]

"That's alright, beloved, I'll just have to borrow one of your dresses", replied Jack.

 

[devonbabe]

the red dress with the exposed breast holes? or the shiny puple spandex ballet tutu?

 

[CW Consultant]

The red one of course the tutu makes my hips look huge

 

[devonbabe]

i openend the wardrobe door to get the red dress out, and whilst i was rummaging amongst the clothing i put my hand right on top of a small soft....

 

[CW Consultant]

slightly curious shaped parcel tied up with red tape. On it was a skull and crossbones and a warning not to open unless you were very brave or very stupid so I

 

[Mrs Depp]

gave it to Lionel Ritchie and told him it was a presant for his birthday.......and he, being the slightly stupid man he is, opened it.

Inside the paper there was...................